Why some gays jump into relationships so fast, and would you be mad?

[Mocha]

This comment to me is utterly disgusting and makes you sound extremely vapid! The distain that you're showing for a specific ethnic group who performs the same duties or possibly more that you do is uncalled for... Yes there may be some escorts that don't have to do much besides spend time with someone that get paid really well but at the same time just because there are a few like this doesn't mean it's an entire ethnic group. Again I say like I did before the clients come to us because of something they want or need. I'm sure there is several clients that would hire you for reasons they wouldn't hire me and vice versa. To make comments like that is really quite ignorant to me. True, the south is more black and white when it comes to race but at the same time if the client didn't want you they wouldn't contact you. So to speak bad about the clients that you are having to "work hard" for seems to me, to put a distaste on your credibility and kind of makes you look ungreatful for the clients that have hired you because you are what they wanted. If the "hard work" is too much for you then maybe you need to think about what you're doing and change professions, because it seem like you aren't enjoying what you do. If you are not comfortable doing something then don't do it. You have every right to say no, but you also need to communicate with your clients. Honestly, I don't know you, but from this post and the way you are portraying yourself and the way you feel about your clients, if I were a client and saw it it would honestly make me think twice about hiring you in the future.

 

M'am, I'm going to have to ask you to tone it down. Have a seat, let me tell you. I think we got each other mixed up.

 

First, I agree, maybe it "sounds" vapid. However, what it sounds like and what it actually is are 2 different things. It's true what I just said. I know for a fact it's true. White and "other such" guys who are approached by older well-off/generous guys get compensated to do absolutely nothing. But be themselves for a few hours. I know it and they know it. I know friends back in Denver, a city so obsessed with White guys, who have these older men give them money, take them on trips, do this, do that, expensive dinners, etc....and don't fucking do a goddamn thing. No sex no nothing. Basically treat them like shit and cash f*gs (their words, not mine). However, these are not "guys who are performing the same duties or more". I was referring to guys who are not even escorts, don't even identify as escorts, etc. I'm referring to guys who are essentially almost manipulating our clients and would be clients to do lavish things for them.

 

Now, I'm not hating. For one, there's no guarantee that if said guys weren't around...that the client would magically come to me. What I am saying though, is the fact that it happens. All the time. Now, your assessment about if you were a client is misread on your behalf. You've allowed yourself to feel that way for absolutely the wrong reasons. The reason WHY I feel that way is because what I say has no connection to my level of ethic and enjoyment of the business. It's not hard work. You missed the point, sweetheart. It's the feeling that putting in hard work which is translated to read "basically ensuring so and so is satisfied and returns" is only mildly rewarded, whereas one who does far less but be white and look cute is being rewarded far more.

 

Granted, that's hypothetical. I don't know everything the other guy is doing for him. Though based on what he told me, it's not sex. However, to be a prick and rub it in my face is crass. I bet if I were a White escort he was seeing, bet he'd of been taking me on that train ride from the plains to the Pacific. But...I'm not mad. that guy he's taking has never gone. I've done that trip 3 times. I travel all the time. I'm not jealous, I'm just discussing the situation as is. That's what it is.

 

If the client ever does decide to hook up again, I probably will share my reservations. But trust me, I'm not waiting or expecting,. I've got a client sending me down to Key Largo next month. .

 

Oh...I dunno, Alan. It's not the first time, I've heard that White men are of greater value in the escort business. There are exceptions to every rule of course....but as a broad general statement, Mocha is not wrong to notice, that people of color are often on the second tier in the sexual supermarket.

 

It also depends on where on the second tier. In addition to White and people of color, there's Asian, Latino, Mediterranean, etc. I know not everyone's preference speaks for everyone, but one person of color's opportunities may differ from another's.

[AlanDC]

M'am, I'm going to have to ask you to tone it down. Have a seat, let me tell you. I think we got each other mixed up.

 

First, I agree, maybe it "sounds" vapid. However, what it sounds like and what it actually is are 2 different things. It's true what I just said. I know for a fact it's true. White and "other such" guys who are approached by older well-off/generous guys get compensated to do absolutely nothing. But be themselves for a few hours. I know it and they know it. I know friends back in Denver, a city so obsessed with White guys, who have these older men give them money, take them on trips, do this, do that, expensive dinners, etc....and don't fucking do a goddamn thing. No sex no nothing. Basically treat them like shit and cash f*gs (their words, not mine). However, these are not "guys who are performing the same duties or more". I was referring to guys who are not even escorts, don't even identify as escorts, etc. I'm referring to guys who are essentially almost manipulating our clients and would be clients to do lavish things for them.

 

Now, I'm not hating. For one, there's no guarantee that if said guys weren't around...that the client would magically come to me. What I am saying though, is the fact that it happens. All the time. Now, your assessment about if you were a client is misread on your behalf. You've allowed yourself to feel that way for absolutely the wrong reasons. The reason WHY I feel that way is because what I say has no connection to my level of ethic and enjoyment of the business. It's not hard work. You missed the point, sweetheart. It's the feeling that putting in hard work which is translated to read "basically ensuring so and so is satisfied and returns" is only mildly rewarded, whereas one who does far less but be white and look cute is being rewarded far more.

 

Granted, that's hypothetical. I don't know everything the other guy is doing for him. Though based on what he told me, it's not sex. However, to be a prick and rub it in my face is crass. I bet if I were a White escort he was seeing, bet he'd of been taking me on that train ride from the plains to the Pacific. But...I'm not mad. that guy he's taking has never gone. I've done that trip 3 times. I travel all the time. I'm not jealous, I'm just discussing the situation as is. That's what it is.

 

If the client ever does decide to hook up again, I probably will share my reservations. But trust me, I'm not waiting or expecting,. I've got a client sending me down to Key Largo next month. .

 

 

 

It also depends on where on the second tier. In addition to White and people of color, there's Asian, Latino, Mediterranean, etc. I know not everyone's preference speaks for everyone, but one person of color's opportunities may differ from another's.

 

 

That's fine. But if you are going to say such things you need to be more specific. You can't just group one ethnic group together based on testimony of one, two, or even three white guys. I for one am

Mixed with several different things but my complexion is white so it also groups me into said group and I can say that I some just stand there and look pretty and money falls into my pockets. You have every right to feel the way you do but like I said you need to be more specific in explaining yourself.

[Mocha]

That's fine. But if you are going to say such things you need to be more specific. You can't just group one ethnic group together based on testimony of one, two, or even three white guys. I for one am

Mixed with several different things but my complexion is white so it also groups me into said group and I can say that I some just stand there and look pretty and money falls into my pockets. You have every right to feel the way you do but like I said you need to be more specific in explaining yourself.

 

Well hopefully the aforementioned was more specific. Sometimes it's edgy discussing something like this happening without sounding generalizing. But that's just how it is. It's not that way with everyone all the time, but it's that way many times.

 

Of course, the usual response is to make the person feel unrealistic, ungrateful, and unsuccessful. Or, the popular word of 2014-2016, "the victim". The real victim is the person claiming someone is a victim: They're a victim of their own scaredy cat B.S. and inability to see the challenges of others as something existent and valid, simply because it's something they seldom or ever experience. Told one escort that in response, and we never spoke again.

 

That said, no hard feelings. You just need a better understanding. It's not generalizing, it's the gay life in many cities. Building others up while singling others out.

[pubic_assistance]

Its weird the older I get, the more I don't care about dating. When I was 17 and 18 I guess I was so excited about going about dates and meeting guys. I would meet guys every other day. I supposed since I was just started to realize I was gay that I went all boy crazy. But now Im 22 and I haven't been in a date in years. It just take many times to find a guy who you have chemistry with and that understands you. Nowdays I see dating as a chore lol. Im just getting grumpy as I get older You just get more comfortable being alone as you get older, theirs just more important things like bills and rent than finding a boyfriend. But sometimes in my head i want a nice boy to hold my hand in the streets of nyc, bring me to a picnic in central park, and to call me in the night to tell me he's thinking about me.

It's a gift to be comfortable alone. Nature provides the instinct to pair off, by making most of us terribly UNcomfortable, in being alone.

[nycguy]

So, he can't take the escort that's been fucking him he past few months on a trip...yet, he wants to take this guy he just met on such a trip? Not saying he can't do that, but part of being an escort is to "escort" your clients on trips...like what an escort is supposed to do. And from what he's told me, they've not even had sex yet and he's been holding out. So, all this time I've been fucking like a DOG to maintain the interest, but yet the White boy he just met doesn't have to put out and gets a paid trip across the country? Yeah, I'm a little irked about his telling me about it.

 

You really need to get over your sense of entitlement. You haven't the slightest clue as to how off putting it is. You sound like a petulant 4 year old who did not get what he wanted for Christmas.

[Mocha]

You really need to get over your sense of entitlement. You haven't the slightest clue as to how off putting it is. You sound like a petulant 4 year old who did not get what he wanted for Christmas.

 

Oh shut the attic door up. Entitled to what? You sound like an old fart who hasn't been fucked in ages. Get over your INFLATED constipated sense of entitlement to call someone out...then maybe you can get some.

 

If you have nothing useful or relevant to contribute here you're a: Non MF Factor.

 

For educational purposes only:

 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=NMFF&amp=true?client=safari

 

[Nvr2Thick]

Now, we had conversations about San Francisco more than once. He also knows I have ties in Denver. Well he tells me he's surprising this White boy on a train ride from Denver to San Francisco for his birthday. I'm just like, ain't that a trip. Ain't that some trick ass shit? Why?

 

So, he can't take the escort that's been fucking him he past few months on a trip...yet, he wants to take this guy he just met on such a trip? Not saying he can't do that, but part of being an escort is to "escort" your clients on trips...like what an escort is supposed to do. And from what he's told me, they've not even had sex yet and he's been holding out. So, all this time I've been fucking like a DOG to maintain the interest, but yet the White boy he just met doesn't have to put out and gets a paid trip across the country? Yeah, I'm a little irked about his telling me about it.

 

Most of my escort encounters have been intense hookups. It has been rare that I've met an escort and had the opportunity to bond in a more personal way; sharing stories about our lives, ambitions, personal interests, troubles, etc. Still, the money I pay to meet and spend time with an escort is the required "great equalizer." I'm getting a chance to meet a handsome, well-built man who is part of a gay social life that excludes me. Even when I was hiring escorts who were close to me in age they were part of a social scene that was out of my league. If I were to hang out in the same clubs, gyms, and other social situations they'd be out of my league. I'm not saying that to be bitter; I'm stating it as a matter of fact.

 

When I lived in NJ and met NYC escorts I'd get glimpses into their lives, and see that these handsome, buff, charismatic men had comparable friends and peers, and that they lived more exciting lives with their A-list friends. Am I jealous? Yes. Resentful? No. The point is the purpose of my fee was to gain entrance to some corner of that world for some period of time; whether it was a thrilling tumble in bed or that plus an hour or so of conversations about the "fair game" portions of our lives. The illusion that I'm a part of that escort's life and his social circle ends when the money to pay for that time is exhausted. It may not (or may) be a strict dime-in-the meter arrangement. Every now and then I meet an escort and we enjoy each other's company, leading to off-the-clock dinner and some quality conversation after the paid encounter. If that happens again, however, it is centered around a paid session.

 

It wouldn't occur to me to take an escort on a trip with me as I would a friend or someone I'm dating because of the artificial leveling that is associated with a paid companion. The escort is socially out of my league. His real friends and potential boyfriends are not paying to level up to his class. Again, this is not a complaint about how unfair it is that I can't live in the world of hot, handsome, socially impressive men; it's about how far I'm willing to stretch the illusion. If I go on a trip to Montreal to take in the sights and social scene I'll either take an acquaintance from my day-to-day world or I'll go alone. It wouldn't occur to me to bring someone from a different social world - a person who coexists with me because I pay to bridge a social gap to bring us closer. Escorts are an indulgence. The people I'll socialize with persistently fit into my world without a compensating adjustment.

[nycguy]

Oh shut the attic door up. Entitled to what? You sound like an old fart who hasn't been fucked in ages. Get over your INFLATED constipated sense of entitlement to call someone out...then maybe you can get some.

 

If you have nothing useful or relevant to contribute here you're a: Non MF Factor.

 

It's always so attractive when a nasty, bitchy queen throws a hissy fit.

[wisconsinguy]

It's already hard enough to find someone who your compatible with, it takes many tries and dates but then on top of that I feel like its going to be hard for someone that loves me to accept that I escort. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to be an escort and having sex with different guys therefore I can't be a hypocrit and date around when I wouldn't want my bf to escort. Plus I wouldn't want to keep it a secret, because it would be found out sooner or later.

I'm in a personal relationship with an escort. I have absolutely no issue with his career choice. We actually never discussed it! I was his client to start with, so I knew the nature of his business. By the way, we never discuss clients. I mean both of us. I have clients in a different line of work. He does not ask me nor I him about our clients. My hope for you is that you can have a chance at a personal relationship someday. It certainly can add a bright star to your universe!!!WG2

[Meo]

I'm probably one of those guys who seems to jump into relationships fast. At the 2 or 3 month mark I like to feel confident, and when I do, it gets pretty lovey-dovey. My last relationship lasted a year, but with a bad 2/3 month feeling, so maybe I ignored something I shouldn't have. My current relationship is 1/2 a year old and felt magical from the beginning! I hope that's a good sign!