Why some gays jump into relationships so fast, and would you be mad?

[Mocha]

...A client you've been having explicit sex sessions with suddenly finds a new boyfriend. Then he basically cuts off appointments and says how much he's in love and spoiling the guy yadda yadda.

 

I'm like umm...that's great. I'm happy for you. But to be falling so adamantly in love with this new guy, when for 2-3 moths he was calling me every week or other week to do things too explicit to discuss...before and even at the start of him meeting that guy. I'm just like, that was fast. Did you even change the sheets?

 

That's just one example. Many times I've had guys intimately, and then later on I run into them and they're "talking" to someone. Was that before, during or after we had sex? I notice especially "All American" guys tend to do such things. Partially why I don't do too much hookups in general outside the biz, some guys just want to use certain guys just for their dick or ass, while saving the real goods for the more "privileged" types.

 

Since then, we've stayed in touch but we've not scheduled for about a month or so. Though he claims to be "holding off" having sex with him. I didn't mind conversing and keeping in touch, but I feel like to just pawn me off for a new toy, and then rub it in my face is a bit passive aggressive. I wasn't going to tell him that though because I'm not bitter and have my own fan base going. But when guys do that, it just comes off kinda trite and hasty.

 

Based on the way it comes off, I'm just going to block him from any further contact with me and make sure I don't do the same. I know it sounds personal, but I've met clients who are married and partnered before. The "transitional" guys seem like the ones you have to just let em go. They'll come back around after they're broken hearted a couple years later lol. Then I be like....well, thats what happens. They be telling the guy they're fucking, about the guy they're dating. And the guy they're dating knows nothing about the guy who's been fucking them the past few months. No, it doesn't work that way. Like cheating in a game of chess.

[MartyB]

It's possible that a guy can move into a relationship quickly but I get where your coming from. What city do you work out of? I like your passion in your posts.

[Mocha]

It's possible that a guy can move into a relationship quickly but I get where your coming from. What city do you work out of? I like your passion in your posts.

 

I'm in the "deep" south. It's an area where despite the debauchery going on, people down here are too relationship/family oriented. Every person I've met here is like either just out of a relationship or just starting one. Being gay here is all about getting into a relationship, and another one, and another one, and another one.... Even guys I meet here fall in and out of love with me so fast. Hard to date, hard to keep clients, hard to want to fucking be here much longer than a week or 2.

 

I can't say I work out of here because there isn't much happening to qualify as work. Babysitting is more the tone of things around here. Definitely ready for a new city this year.

[MartyB]

I'm in the "deep" south. It's an area where despite the debauchery going on, people down here are too relationship/family oriented. Every person I've met here is like either just out of a relationship or just starting one. Being gay here is all about getting into a relationship, and another one, and another one, and another one.... Even guys I meet here fall in and out of love with me so fast. Hard to date, hard to keep clients, hard to want to fucking be here much longer than a week or 2.

 

I can't say I work out of here because there isn't much happening to qualify as work. Babysitting is more the tone of things around here. Definitely ready for a new city this year.

Try NYC my friend....

[jjkrkwood]

So because a guy has previously retained you and helped pay your rent he isnt allowed to move on with his own life and find happiness. ? That seems a bit selfish, or was it intended to

be ?

[MikeBiDude]

...A client you've been having explicit sex sessions with suddenly finds a new boyfriend. Then he basically cuts off appointments and says how much he's in love and spoiling the guy yadda yadda.

 

I'm like umm...that's great. I'm happy for you. But to be falling so adamantly in love with this new guy, when for 2-3 moths he was calling me every week or other week to do things too explicit to discuss...before and even at the start of him meeting that guy. I'm just like, that was fast. Did you even change the sheets?

 

That's just one example. Many times I've had guys intimately, and then later on I run into them and they're "talking" to someone. Was that before, during or after we had sex? I notice especially "All American" guys tend to do such things. Partially why I don't do too much hookups in general outside the biz, some guys just want to use certain guys just for their dick or ass, while saving the real goods for the more "privileged" types.

 

Since then, we've stayed in touch but we've not scheduled for about a month or so. Though he claims to be "holding off" having sex with him. I didn't mind conversing and keeping in touch, but I feel like to just pawn me off for a new toy, and then rub it in my face is a bit passive aggressive. I wasn't going to tell him that though because I'm not bitter and have my own fan base going. But when guys do that, it just comes off kinda trite and hasty.

 

Based on the way it comes off, I'm just going to block him from any further contact with me and make sure I don't do the same. I know it sounds personal, but I've met clients who are married and partnered before. The "transitional" guys seem like the ones you have to just let em go. They'll come back around after they're broken hearted a couple years later lol. Then I be like....well, thats what happens. They be telling the guy they're fucking, about the guy they're dating. And the guy they're dating knows nothing about the guy who's been fucking them the past few months. No, it doesn't work that way. Like cheating in a game of chess.

I've used that as an excuse when I wanted someone to stop bothering me "I met someone and I'm in a relationship now"...

[+ Topseed]

Me too.

 

It's a variation on the "It's not you, it's me...." theme.

[jjkrkwood]

Mocha, you have obviously lead your life in a bubble and are not attuned to normal Human behavior. Guys are not trying to sabotage you, they are just behaving as people do. I am NOT saying the behavior is right, but it happens, and if you take yourself out of the picture, it will still happen. I am sure if you really dug deep, you would realize some of your own behavior might not be acceptable to some people. So, if escorting is a profession you really want to stay in, suck it up, stop complaining about every infraction, and move on with it. Noone likes a complainer, (eventhough that is exactly what I am doing with your post, but I never said people LIKE me !)

[Mocha]

So because a guy has previously retained you and helped pay your rent he isnt allowed to move on with his own life and find happiness. ? That seems a bit selfish, or was it intended to

be ?

 

Ugh..I'm going to try to explain in English rather than French. I know you just love to call people out to earn "likes". But, you said it in a mildly digestible way so I will respond:

 

Yes, people move on. I move on. Hell, I'm dating someone too. I'm not hung up on him at all. He's a client. Better yet, a "trick" to me at this point.

 

However, one would have to completely understand where I'm coming from with this particular client and why I'm annoyed at his antics. He was blowing my phone up all the time and having me come over for weeks/months. And even though it was just sex, we were always able to hold conversations. When he got into a car accident, he was texting me to come over...then he cancelled. Which was right around the time he was beginning to date this guy. But then we eventually met a few days later.

 

Now, we had conversations about San Francisco more than once. He also knows I have ties in Denver. Well he tells me he's surprising this White boy on a train ride from Denver to San Francisco for his birthday. I'm just like, ain't that a trip. Ain't that some trick ass shit? Why?

 

So, he can't take the escort that's been fucking him he past few months on a trip...yet, he wants to take this guy he just met on such a trip? Not saying he can't do that, but part of being an escort is to "escort" your clients on trips...like what an escort is supposed to do. And from what he's told me, they've not even had sex yet and he's been holding out. So, all this time I've been fucking like a DOG to maintain the interest, but yet the White boy he just met doesn't have to put out and gets a paid trip across the country? Yeah, I'm a little irked about his telling me about it.

 

So much for equal oppurtunity....(BTW no diss to anyone as I like my Vanilla boys, just emphasizing the contrast of the situation as is.)

[Mocha]

Try NYC my friend....

 

I want to. Being in the south hasn't necessarily been opportune for growth. Now I see why the former EOY elect Chris Eisenhower left along with some other guys I've seen pass thru here.

[AlanDC]

Ugh..I'm going to try to explain in English rather than French. I know you just love to call people out to earn "likes". But, you said it in a mildly digestible way so I will respond:

 

Yes, people move on. I move on. Hell, I'm dating someone too. I'm not hung up on him at all. He's a client. Better yet, a "trick" to me at this point.

 

However, one would have to completely understand where I'm coming from with this particular client and why I'm annoyed at his antics. He was blowing my phone up all the time and having me come over for weeks/months. And even though it was just sex, we were always able to hold conversations. When he got into a car accident, he was texting me to come over...then he cancelled. Which was right around the time he was beginning to date this guy. But then we eventually met a few days later.

 

Now, we had conversations about San Francisco more than once. He also knows I have ties in Denver. Well he tells me he's surprising this White boy on a train ride from Denver to San Francisco for his birthday. I'm just like, ain't that a trip. Ain't that some trick ass shit? Why?

 

So, he can't take the escort that's been fucking him he past few months on a trip...yet, he wants to take this guy he just met on such a trip? Not saying he can't do that, but part of being an escort is to "escort" your clients on trips...like what an escort is supposed to do. And from what he's told me, they've not even had sex yet and he's been holding out. So, all this time I've been fucking like a DOG to maintain the interest, but yet the White boy he just met doesn't have to put out and gets a paid trip across the country? Yeah, I'm a little irked about his telling me about it.

 

So much for equal oppurtunity....(BTW no diss to anyone as I like my Vanilla boys, just emphasizing the contrast of the situation as is.)

 

Mocha,

 

Yes, you are right no one will understand the relationship you had with said Client, but that's the thing you have to Realize he is a Client. He has no obligation to you or any other escort. Clients come to us (escorts) looking for something they need or want. With all due respect you obviously did not have this anymore. The Clients have every right to come and go as they please. In the end they are the ones paying for the services. Now on the flip side of this if the client wants to come back to you in the future it's your choice to accept or deny. You shouldn't hate someone for using the services that are there when they need/want it.

[pubic_assistance]

Ugh..I'm going to try to explain in English rather than French. I know you just love to call people out to earn "likes". But, you said it in a mildly digestible way so I will respond:

 

Yes, people move on. I move on. Hell, I'm dating someone too. I'm not hung up on him at all. He's a client. Better yet, a "trick" to me at this point.

 

However, one would have to completely understand where I'm coming from with this particular client and why I'm annoyed at his antics. He was blowing my phone up all the time and having me come over for weeks/months. And even though it was just sex, we were always able to hold conversations. When he got into a car accident, he was texting me to come over...then he cancelled. Which was right around the time he was beginning to date this guy. But then we eventually met a few days later.

 

Now, we had conversations about San Francisco more than once. He also knows I have ties in Denver. Well he tells me he's surprising this White boy on a train ride from Denver to San Francisco for his birthday. I'm just like, ain't that a trip. Ain't that some trick ass shit? Why?

 

So, he can't take the escort that's been fucking him he past few months on a trip...yet, he wants to take this guy he just met on such a trip? Not saying he can't do that, but part of being an escort is to "escort" your clients on trips...like what an escort is supposed to do. And from what he's told me, they've not even had sex yet and he's been holding out. So, all this time I've been fucking like a DOG to maintain the interest, but yet the White boy he just met doesn't have to put out and gets a paid trip across the country? Yeah, I'm a little irked about his telling me about it.

 

So much for equal oppurtunity....(BTW no diss to anyone as I like my Vanilla boys, just emphasizing the contrast of the situation as is.)

Could it be that in the South there is a bit more "shame" to being homosexual ? Naughty, naughty boys are on the down low and that boring new boy you met at church is more acceptable to the "people at the club". I find it strange myself, that many of my "regular hires" comment that people don't normally treat them so well as I do. Gay men seem to have a tendency with escorts to treat them like THINGS to be discarded like a used tissue, rather than intimate friends who are there for you when your back hurts, or your dick is hard....or for some you're just lonely and need companionship. People are selfish, and self centered...and gay men sometimes are guilty of being the worst that way. Don't take it personally. They don't "GET IT."

[jjkrkwood]

I was waiting, and I KNEW you would manage to throw the RACE thing into the mix somehow, AND YOU DID.... It never fails.. Your story could have easily been told, and made sense WITHOUT mentioning RACE, but NO, you need to bring it up. That to me is the most disturbing thing about you, and I find many. Somehow you always feel persecuted, and mistreated, and its usually by the WHITE clients... As an escort trying to make a living, I really dont feel this is a very sturdy Soapbox for you to be standing on, since you once said yourself, most of your clients ARE white... Keep bitching about them and those WHITE clients will get your message and "tell you where to go".... mocha, Jahmal, Joey, as a businessman you need to learn that regardless of how you feel about your clients, you need to keep your mouth shut and keep it to yourself. With all your complaints about your clients and the business, one can only think your words have come back to "bite you in the ass"..... You may not think they are paying attention, BUT THEY ARE !

[Juan Vancouver]

I haven't had a boyfriend let alone a date in yearssss. But I knew when I started escorting that those things could never happen. Personally I think it wouldn't be fair for me to date someone being an escort.

 

It's not that I want to convince you otherwise. We are all entitled to believe about these matters however we want, I am just curious. Why do you think it would be unfair to someone to date you while you are an escort?

[Mocha]

Look, with Donald J Trump in office, we've got to get used to discussing things that are a little uncomfortable. Sit back, lube up, and just take it. Except, I'm 9 inches and he's probably half. So you better bust out the gun oil...

 

Jokes aside, I see where you're coming from. I could have left out race, but the story wouldn't be whole without it. If we're going to cone to an understanding, certain things need to be addressed accordingly.

 

Wanna be White escorts don't have to putout and they getting spoiled. Ethnic escorts have to be rock hard on demand to even get a few dollars thrown at them.

 

I was waiting, and I KNEW you would manage to throw the RACE thing into the mix somehow, AND YOU DID.... It never fails.. Your story could have easily been told, and made sense WITHOUT mentioning RACE, but NO, you need to bring it up. That to me is the most disturbing thing about you, and I find many. Somehow you always feel persecuted, and mistreated, and its usually by the WHITE clients... As an escort trying to make a living, I really dont feel this is a very sturdy Soapbox for you to be standing on, since you once said yourself, most of your clients ARE white... Keep bitching about them and those WHITE clients will get your message and "tell you where to go".... mocha, Jahmal, Joey, as a businessman you need to learn that regardless of how you feel about your clients, you need to keep your mouth shut and keep it to yourself. With all your complaints about your clients and the business, one can only think your words have come back to "bite you in the ass"..... You may not think they are paying attention, BUT THEY ARE !

[Mocha]

The south has a lot of work to do. Even when they come out gay, many guys I've met are ashamed to come out being into black gays. That's why gay movements to me are kinda flat and watered down because instead of voicing opinions and getting mad at Capitol Hill and Washington, we need to start within our own community. Hillary ain't gonna solve it. Trump ain't either. Gay media is the only thing that can solve it. Change it and we can change us. Fuck the dumb stuff.

 

Could it be that in the South there is a bit more "shame" to being homosexual ? Naughty, naughty boys are on the down low and that boring new boy you met at church is more acceptable to the "people at the club". I find it strange myself, that many of my "regular hires" comment that people don't normally treat them so well as I do. Gay men seem to have a tendency with escorts to treat them like THINGS to be discarded like a used tissue, rather than intimate friends who are there for you when your back hurts, or your dick is hard....or for some you're just lonely and need companionship. People are selfish, and self centered...and gay men sometimes are guilty of being the worst that way. Don't take it personally. They don't "GET IT."

[pubic_assistance]

Gay media is the only thing that can solve it.

I think Hollywood in general has done more for the gay community than a hundred marches and fund raisers. VISIBILITY helps "normalize" all social situations. It wasn't THAT long ago that the TV show Star Trek, feature the FIRST interracial KISS ! So racism, sexism and homophobia, have come a long way, but social change takes generations to really heal.

[AlanDC]

Look, with Donald J Trump in office, we've got to get used to discussing things that are a little uncomfortable. Sit back, lube up, and just take it. Except, I'm 9 inches and he's probably half. So you better bust out the gun oil...

 

Jokes aside, I see where you're coming from. I could have left out race, but the story wouldn't be whole without it. If we're going to cone to an understanding, certain things need to be addressed accordingly.

 

Wanna be White escorts don't have to putout and they getting spoiled. Ethnic escorts have to be rock hard on demand to even get a few dollars thrown at them.

 

This comment to me is utterly disgusting and makes you sound extremely vapid! The distain that you're showing for a specific ethnic group who performs the same duties or possibly more that you do is uncalled for... Yes there may be some escorts that don't have to do much besides spend time with someone that get paid really well but at the same time just because there are a few like this doesn't mean it's an entire ethnic group. Again I say like I did before the clients come to us because of something they want or need. I'm sure there is several clients that would hire you for reasons they wouldn't hire me and vice versa. To make comments like that is really quite ignorant to me. True, the south is more black and white when it comes to race but at the same time if the client didn't want you they wouldn't contact you. So to speak bad about the clients that you are having to "work hard" for seems to me, to put a distaste on your credibility and kind of makes you look ungreatful for the clients that have hired you because you are what they wanted. If the "hard work" is too much for you then maybe you need to think about what you're doing and change professions, because it seem like you aren't enjoying what you do. If you are not comfortable doing something then don't do it. You have every right to say no, but you also need to communicate with your clients. Honestly, I don't know you, but from this post and the way you are portraying yourself and the way you feel about your clients, if I were a client and saw it it would honestly make me think twice about hiring you in the future.

[pubic_assistance]

This comment to me is utterly disgusting and makes you sound extremely vapid! The disdain that you're showing for a specific ethnic group who performs the same duties or possibly more that you do is uncalled for...

Oh...I dunno, Alan. It's not the first time, I've heard that White men are of greater value in the escort business. There are exceptions to every rule of course....but as a broad general statement, Mocha is not wrong to notice, that people of color are often on the second tier in the sexual supermarket.

[jjkrkwood]

Oh...I dunno, Alan. It's not the first time, I've heard that White men are of greater value in the escort business. There are exceptions to every rule of course....but as a broad general statement, Mocha is not wrong to notice, that people of color are often on the second tier in the sexual supermarket.

 

OK, so you've made an observation. Now what ? I am sure you AINT hiring someone you dont desire or arent attracted to. Free enterprise, free choice, ALL businessmen face competition.

 

So all they need to do is step up their game and NOT complain so much. Simple enough concept.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

I want to. Being in the south hasn't necessarily been opportune for growth. Now I see why the former EOY elect Chris Eisenhower left along with some other guys I've seen pass thru here.

 

1) Hi everyone.

 

2) This isn't true.

 

3) My business level made it harder—not easier—to leave.

[+ SundayZip]

1) Hi everyone.

 

2) This isn't true.

 

3) My business level made it harder—not easier—to leave.

 

1) Hello Chris.

 

2) I miss your presence on this forum.

 

3)

[MassageDrew]

I wouldn't say that gays do this. Straight people do it too. If he jumps into a relationship that fast then it will likely be over as quickly as well. Real relationship cannot be rushed. He'll be calling soon.

[TopTierTop]

Try NYC my friend....

or D.C.... or both... like me! :-)

[Mocha]

1) Hi everyone.

 

2) This isn't true.

 

3) My business level made it harder—not easier—to leave.

 

My sincerest apologies. No intent to misinform, former Prez Eisenhower. If I did, I owe you a licky licky. Or sucky sucky. Whichever you prefer. But I think I have a clue By leave, I meant how you left Nashville for D.C., not the business. However we don't know the real reason...and it's probably not warranted to share (unless you feel the desire to). Unless you too were referring to Nashville as well. If that's the case, that too wouldn't surprise me. I've come to realize Nashville just isn't highly rated for dark meat. While the White meat usually tends to like it here. Talk about "Hot Chicken". Hot chicken my ass. I personally can't stand it here. Shit weather (I'll take Denver's 0 degrees and 12 inches of snow in a day to this wet, cloudy gray shit for days), food that's just overrated and high prices for not a goddamn reason. 2 more months. 2 more months.

 

or D.C.... or both... like me!

 

Oh trust, I'm always doing well in D.C. Hell, I do well in D.C. even when I'm not in D.C. A future move there is highly likely, though with parking limitations, likely I'd be on the VA or MD side.