"Ask Me" In Rentmen Profiles

[Jakeenct]

Just curious as to what this means to others beyond the obvious. (Safe Sex/BB)

[+ José Soplanucas]

Just the obvious.

[MikeBiDude]

Just curious as to what this means to others beyond the obvious.

Been discussed before, bothers some posters, others not so much. Bottom line is that it means "ask me"

[MikeyGMin]

I used to skip the "ask me" ads but they have become so prevalent that I got on board. It just adds one step. A quick text saying that you saw the ad, are interested in meeting, and what is their hourly rate. I've had great luck with guys getting back to me very quickly.

 

My newest favorites have "ask me" and I'm sure glad I did!

[Jakeenct]

In most cases would it mean they are opened to bareback or riskier activities? The subject is "Safe/BB" and curious as to how some of these "ask me" exchanges can go....

[jimboivyo]

ask me with rate = just sent a message and figure it out

 

ask with safe sex = for me, move on to the next guy

[UpDownUnder]

On the other hand, for me....

 

Ask me with rate = move on to the next guy

 

Ask me with safe sex = send a message and figure it out.

[NowOrNever]

Rate: Ask me

 

Safe sex/BB: Ask me

 

Position: Ask me

 

So you write to the escort and ask for clarification, and he replies that he doesn't discuss rates, safe sex, or positions over the phone. You have to hire him to find out the answers to all of the above.

 

NEXT!

[+ Lance_Navarro]

On the other hand, for me....

 

Ask me with rate = move on to the next guy

 

Ask me with safe sex = send a message and figure it out.

 

I appreciate your perspective on this. I make my rates very clear, but the topic of whether or not to use condoms is something I discuss with each client. I respect that some enjoy the feeling of skin on skin, while others are only comfortable with a condom. I would hope that guys wouldn't make assumptions about my sexual health based on the fact that I'm open when it comes to such things. I'm HIV-, on PrEP and tested every 3 months. I've heard clients say that they are apprehensive to hire someone cause they have seen a video or pictures of him having bareback sex. TRUST ME, just because a guy is in porn that uses condoms doesn't say anything about his sex practices off camera, and vice versa.

 

On Rentmen you only have 3 options, "Safe Only" (which I take issue with the phrasing because I assume by "safe" they mean a physical barrier, but PrEP is a chemical barrier), "Anything Goes" (which I wouldn't ever say since I have boundaries), and "Ask Me", which to me says that it's a discussion that I am open to having.

[marylander1940]

Just the obvious.

 

The question is what obvious means?

 

[evensteven]

What I don’t like about “ask me” is that it tends to lead to the kind of explicit communications that I don’t want written down or even necessarily spoken until we already trust each other. But at the same time, I understand that not everything can be explained accurately using a few simple check boxes. It is a real conundrum.

[TopTierTop]

I dont do the "Ask me" thing. In regards to rates, to me it would give the impression that I charge different prices to different clients or depending on how badly I want a client on a particular day. At the very least, I don't want it to sound like my rates are negotiable. They never are. There is enough to do to ensure my client's expectations are going to be exceeded when we meet without having to add convincing him that my rate is justified. My rate is for giving 100% to my clients, and since I never give less, I never take less.

 

I don't doubt that others have a different point of view that makes perfect sense for them, though, just as my way makes perfect sense for me.

[BaronArtz]

I don't mind 'ask me' at all. What's the big deal? Just ask. They want you to ask the question. Just do it.

 

I have been hiring guys who don't advertise at all - found them through word of mouth. Or guys who are no longer advertising because they have an established client base. In either case, I had to ask what the 'fee' was. No big deal. You ask. They tell.

[Meo]

What I don’t like about “ask me” is that it tends to lead to the kind of explicit communications that I don’t want written down or even necessarily spoken until we already trust each other.

Agreed.

[SelfIndulgent]

I appreciate your perspective on this. I make my rates very clear, but the topic of whether or not to use condoms is something I discuss with each client. I respect that some enjoy the feeling of skin on skin, while others are only comfortable with a condom. I would hope that guys wouldn't make assumptions about my sexual health based on the fact that I'm open when it comes to such things. I'm HIV-, on PrEP and tested every 3 months. I've heard clients say that they are apprehensive to hire someone cause they have seen a video or pictures of him having bareback sex. TRUST ME, just because a guy is in porn that uses condoms doesn't say anything about his sex practices off camera, and vice versa.

 

On Rentmen you only have 3 options, "Safe Only" (which I take issue with the phrasing because I assume by "safe" they mean a physical barrier, but PrEP is a chemical barrier), "Anything Goes" (which I wouldn't ever say since I have boundaries), and "Ask Me", which to me says that it's a discussion that I am open to having.

 

 

Lance this was such a lucid response. Much respect.

[+ Eric Hassan]

I appreciate your perspective on this. I make my rates very clear, but the topic of whether or not to use condoms is something I discuss with each client. I respect that some enjoy the feeling of skin on skin, while others are only comfortable with a condom. I would hope that guys wouldn't make assumptions about my sexual health based on the fact that I'm open when it comes to such things. I'm HIV-, on PrEP and tested every 3 months. I've heard clients say that they are apprehensive to hire someone cause they have seen a video or pictures of him having bareback sex. TRUST ME, just because a guy is in porn that uses condoms doesn't say anything about his sex practices off camera, and vice versa.

 

On Rentmen you only have 3 options, "Safe Only" (which I take issue with the phrasing because I assume by "safe" they mean a physical barrier, but PrEP is a chemical barrier), "Anything Goes" (which I wouldn't ever say since I have boundaries), and "Ask Me", which to me says that it's a discussion that I am open to having.

 

+1

 

I, too, am HIV- and on PrEP. I've also heard clients express reluctance or refusal to hire an escort because they've seen the escort having bareback sex in porn. I choose "ask me" when it comes to safer sex preferences because I think it's worth having an actual conversation about what's OK and not OK. I've been on the soapbox about this before - safe no longer equals condoms only all the time and it's important to me, not just as an escort, but as a sex-positive human being, to discuss these issues with my partners.

[coriolis888]

 

Just curious as to what this means to others beyond the obvious.

 

 

I, also, want to know.

 

Generally, I ignore ads that say “ask me” or similar words.

 

However, every now and again I come across an ad with photos that is unusually appealing.

 

Twice this month, I responded to two different “ask me” ads. I texted and/or e-mailed the escort and asked what the “donation” or “rate” is.

 

In both instances, I received a very friendly response asking me when I want to get together. However, my question about the rate was not included in the response!

 

I sent a followup response advising the escort that he had not told me his rate.

 

In return, I received additional friendly messages repeating the question asking me when we would meet but the rate was, again, not mentioned. This went back and forth for the third time with the rate omitted. Finally, I decided to let it go and stop communicating with the two escorts.

 

With one of the escorts, after two days of silence, I got a response from the escort complaining to me stating that I was not serious about meeting and that I had wasted his time. Hilariously, the escort’s rate still was not included in the final message.

 

In summary, although some people like the “ask me” thing, I find it for the birds. I won’t be answering any “ask me” ads at any time in the future (I hope).

[Jakeenct]

I, also, want to know.

 

Generally, I ignore ads that say “ask me” or similar words.

 

However, every now and again I come across an ad with photos that is unusually appealing.

 

Twice this month, I responded to two different “ask me” ads. I texted and/or e-mailed the escort and asked what the “donation” or “rate” is.

 

In both instances, I received a very friendly response asking me when I want to get together. However, my question about the rate was not included in the response!

 

I sent a followup response advising the escort that he had not told me his rate.

 

In return, I received additional friendly messages repeating the question asking me when we would meet but the rate was, again, not mentioned. This went back and forth for the third time with the rate omitted. Finally, I decided to let it go and stop communicating with the two escorts.

 

With one of the escorts, after two days of silence, I got a response from the escort complaining to me stating that I was not serious about meeting and that I had wasted his time. Hilariously, the escort’s rate still was not included in the final message.

 

In summary, although some people like the “ask me” thing, I find it for the birds. I won’t be answering any “ask me” ads at any time in the future (I hope).

I forgot there are two areas where "ask me" may appear and the one I was mainly referring to was Safe Sex/BB

[MikeBiDude]

I forgot there are two areas where "ask me" may appear and the one I was mainly referring to was Safe Sex/BB

4 areas?

Rate (in and out), orientation, position, safe sex

[TopTierTop]

I, also, want to know.

 

Generally, I ignore ads that say “ask me” or similar words.

 

However, every now and again I come across an ad with photos that is unusually appealing.

 

Twice this month, I responded to two different “ask me” ads. I texted and/or e-mailed the escort and asked what the “donation” or “rate” is.

 

In both instances, I received a very friendly response asking me when I want to get together. However, my question about the rate was not included in the response!

 

I sent a followup response advising the escort that he had not told me his rate.

 

In return, I received additional friendly messages repeating the question asking me when we would meet but the rate was, again, not mentioned. This went back and forth for the third time with the rate omitted. Finally, I decided to let it go and stop communicating with the two escorts.

 

With one of the escorts, after two days of silence, I got a response from the escort complaining to me stating that I was not serious about meeting and that I had wasted his time. Hilariously, the escort’s rate still was not included in the final message.

 

In summary, although some people like the “ask me” thing, I find it for the birds. I won’t be answering any “ask me” ads at any time in the future (I hope).

My guess is that if YOU had suggested a rate, you would have gotten the same reply..."when do you want to meet? Because he probably would have taken any offer he found reasonable unless he already had someone offering more at that time. I see these "Ask Me" profiles sometimes when I look at other escorts' profiles, and my reaction is always that the escort has not put a specific value on his services, and I think that is a mistake. There are probably other reasons why some don't, but that is always my first thought when I see that. I set my rate, put it in my profile, and expect to live up to it with any client I meet. I don't negotiate rates, but I do ensure that they are getting every penny's worth. If I don't think I can make that guarantee, I don't take the client in the first place.

[coriolis888]

snipped -

 

I set my rate, put it in my profile, and expect to live up to it with any client I meet. I don't negotiate rates, but I do ensure that they are getting every penny's worth. If I don't think I can make that guarantee, I don't take the client in the first place.

 

 

It is too bad that escorts whose ads say "ask me" don't subscribe to your logical and succinct approach. For those of us who find the "ask me" practice unworkable, I believe that your method would simplify the task of scheduling with an escort. Thanks for the wise response.

[Jakeenct]

It is too bad that escorts whose ads say "ask me" don't subscribe to your logical and succinct approach. For those of us who find the "ask me" practice unworkable, I believe that your method would simplify the task of scheduling with an escort. Thanks for the wise response.

Agreed. Not a regular at this but recently "I" misread the fee and the guy corrected me and offered to reduce it and while he was in route I checked his ad again and realized it was my mistake; paid him his advertised rate (plus). I think negotiating is a bad practice either way.

[+ José Soplanucas]

We are talking (once again) about different business models. I know excellent escorts who would have different rates according to what you want to do. I know this doesn't work for some of you, but does for some of us.

I always like the invitation to a conversation. Not all of us can make a decision just at looking at the profile. I am not talking only about rates but about everything else. I like the ads that say "open minded", I think it is a more appealing way of saying "ask me".

Going back to fees, I closed deals with tops at a rate lower than the market because he would not provide me with penetration.

Before anybody jumps, I am not proposing an industry standard, I am not saying one model is better than the other. Any model has advantages and disadvantages, I can work with both strategies.

About bargaining, I know it is a kind of Tabu here, but it is just cultural. I can also work with both strategies here.

[rvwnsd]

I'm with @Lance_Navarro, @Eric Hassan on the "Safe/BB" checkbox. There is no such thing as "safe" sex. There are ways to mitigate the risk associated with sex, but the risk still exists.

 

In regards to other activities, like @latbear4blk I like to have a conversation regardless what an escort states in his ad, including the rate. Usually, it is to simply confirm the rate so I know how much cash to have available. One escort's ad listed an outcall rate that was significantly higher than his incall rate. I wanted to come to him, he wanted to come to me, and I stated that the rate differential was the reason I wanted to come to him. He went on to explain that he usually saw clients in his home but the place was a mess and he would not have time to clean up, but was about to say he would charge me the incall rate. He and I saw each other on a regular basis for three years. I always explain what I'm looking for in order to ensure we are right for each other.

[MikeyGMin]

Any model has advantages and disadvantages, I can work with both strategies

 

+1. In my mind, that's a very pragmatic approach.

 

If I hadn't asked, and just skipped over them, I would have missed out on my favorite new boys. (Described by another Forum member who has also seen them as, "More fun than a basket of kittens.") They are an epic find and their pictures were enough for me to make an effort. Quick texting about their rates and I was sold! I've seen them a half a dozen times in the last 2 months. :p

 

On the flip side, there is a new guy in Austin who I'm going to check out. Brand new. Nothing in the Forum. The only vetting I have done is basic Google image searches. However, his rate is very reasonable so I'm just going to go for it. His pictures and reasonable rate were enough for me to reach out.