Are Fraternities More Accepting Now?

[+ TylerandAce]

This is a new video from my fraternity's national office. The 1 minute mark seems to suggest some acceptance of gays in the ranks. From just my time as an active there have been nearly 10 of us to come out. Some we suspected but all were closeted. I suppose some suspected I was, maybe. There's no doubt we existed in the ranks then as now, so it's high time we see some movement towards acknowledging that fact. My son is active in a different house now and he reports a very laissez-faire attitude towards gays in the chapter. Things seem to be changing for the better, but I wonder if open acceptance might put a damper on recruitment? In some ways, it seems to be a gamble with which some of the organizations are willing to experiment. And I wonder if the openness would mean I could have experimented more myself during that time?! Oh, to turn back the clock!

[jimboivyo]

social frats will never be all accepting. it's the nature of how they started in the first place

[+ TylerandAce]

None of my friends there have turned their backs on me. True friendship and brotherhood actually exist, I believe.

[BasketBaller]

I don't know about fraternities in general, but here in DC, when the Westboro Baptist Church came to protest gay-friendly policies at GWU, the frats organized a counter-demonstration where the brothers all wore "Gay For A Day" t-shirts, and as I understand it, had nearly 100% participation.

[+ TylerandAce]

I don't know about fraternities in general, but here in DC, when the Westboro Baptist Church came to protest gay-friendly policies at GWU, the frats organized a counter-demonstration where the brothers all wore "Gay For A Day" t-shirts, and as I understand it, had nearly 100% participation.

Very encouraging! I think kids today are (generally) more open minded and it's good to see organizations like Greek chapters begin to realize their responsibility. I believe it's even in their best interest to appear tolerant because fraternities, by their nature, can be seen as "exclusive" and not at all accepting.

[bigvalboy]

None of my friends there have turned their backs on me. True friendship and brotherhood actually exist, I believe.

 

True...

 

It was a different time, but not a negative word was ever said.

[+ Funguy]

I have a few years on you guys - college in the 60's. NO WAY IN THE WORLD would i have come out then. But, the friends I have been close with since that time, I still am close with regardless of status.

There were a couple of nightmare guys also in the house and they would have been unmerciful, repeat x 3 please. I occasional run into them/hear from others and they are still intolerant bullies, my life would have been hell and, more than likely, i would have left the house.

 

Don't be so quick to turn back that clock!

I did have more than a lot of good times, tho.

[+ TylerandAce]

Totally agree. There were reasons we didn't come out then, and they were good reasons for the most part. I am proud of my son and his brothers for being more open and accepting. My prayer has been that he is a good role model for that to show others that bigotry and homophobia aren't cool any more.

[Racketjock]

Although I was a fraternity member at a conservative school here in the south and our fraternity was not explicitly pro-gay, there were certainly members, such as I, who were gay. And even more who were perfectly happy to have a guy suck them off or explore other things. The school and fraternity have adopted more positive diversity. Having recently attended our fall social reunion, I can say there are many handsome young guys carrying on the tradition and some of them are obviously and openly gay. I call it progress and it brings me continued hope for the future. And I cherish those exciting times and memories of my youth!

[+ TylerandAce]

Thanks Racketjock! Nice to hear of progress...and maybe I should be wishing to be in school now rather than turning back the clock...LOL.

[+ Funguy]

Oh NO! NO! NO!

Not in school now!!!!

 

TESTS!!!!!

(tho there are orals)

[+ azdr0710]

Sig Ep, eh?.....at my school, we other fraternities called them Sigma Phi HairSalon because their hair was always perfect....(in the early 80s)......

 

true at your alma mater??!!

 

just a little side comment.....carry on!

[gallahadesquire]

Early '70's ... fraternity in Boston. some people knew, others didn't. In generally, it just wasn't an issue. Even less so now.

 

On brother told me that it had an odd effect on his security clearance.

 

"Do you know any homosexuals?"

"[counting ...] Yes ... ?"

I forget the rest. They just weren't ready for that. He also told me that, if he were ever interested in having a homosexual event, I'd be his choice.

 

Another brother said "I'm really afraid that, if I tried it, I'd really like it." I don't think he's married.

 

A blessing, to some event, is that parties are less date-oriented and more let's-have-a-good-time oriented.

 

An aside: I went to visit my Step-sister at University of Illinois in Champaign-Urbana. I stayed at my fraternity's chapter there.

They were having a dance / social (this is like 1971) that weekend. I asked my step-sister to go with me.

 

I was labelled "biggest stud," having landed a date (of which there were few) on one day's notice.

If only they knew!

[kewtex]

I'm not sure there were any straight frats at SMU. Of course, that was par for the course in Dallas in the '80s.

[Zapped]

College professor here, midwestern liberal arts institution. Most of the frats welcome gay and bi men and there are out guys in a number of houses. One or two of the more jock-centric houses have a reputation for being less accepting, but overall it is a completely different world from 20 years ago.

 

Still not easy for a lot of kids to come out, but that seems to have more to do with internalized homophobia and family issues than the campus climate per se. Once in a while there is a minor antigay incident (name calling, etc.), but that's the rare exception rather than the rule.

[+ TylerandAce]

Good to hear, Zapped. Colleges could lead the way for the rest of the country. Small changes there have ripple effects throughout society, but it takes time, of course.

 

And yes, azdr0710, even in Mississippi were weren't immune for the hairsalon nickname. I think it had to do more with the fact that so many of us were gay than the fact that we were perfectly coiffed!...lol.

[Zapped]

Thanks, Tyler and Ace.

 

Most schools now are very sensitive to "bias incidents." Recently, a student reported that a student reported a guy at a frat party pulled him out of the house using a slur (I assume "faggot"). Years ago that would have been normal. Now the entire campus community has been notified about a "bias incident" and there's an investigation, etc.

 

So the kids are learning that certain behaviour won't be tolerated by the administration or the rest of the community, resulting in internal pressure within Greek houses to minimize/eliminate the use of slurs of any kind. (Whichever house it was could suffer negative consequences.)

 

Meanwhile, homophobia is less and less an issue with each generation. Few straight-identifying kids these days don't know LGBT relatives or friends. It is a very changed world.

[+ TylerandAce]

I'm very thankful for that. There are so many pressures on my kids today that I didn't have, it's nice to know that this is one thing that is becoming less of an issue.

[mike carey]

T&A, it's becoming less an issue for the children of adults today, and that is great. Even if it is not so good in some parts of your country than it is in others. Universities are growing ahead of the communities in which they live. This may not help you with your 'lady' across the street but it will with you children!

[+ TylerandAce]

There's only one thing that will help with that problem, my friend!....LOL.