My life is a Seinfeld episode

[Rick Munroe]

I'm scared right now...apprehensive and unsure.

 

You see, I'm about to get my hair cut, and I've decided that I don't want to go to my usual barber, Manny. I want to use the guy at the chair to the left of him (Raul), and I'm afraid I'm going to insult my regular guy and...who knows? Maybe I'll get banned from the shop!

 

The thing is, I've been going to Manny for a couple years (except for when I had the mohawk; for that I had to go to Astor Barbers in the East Village) but there's always something a little "off" when I leave Manny, and I have to go home and fix it myself (which is why we have our own professional clippers).

 

I used to go to Jorge, who is at the chair to the right of Manny, and he did a great job, but then he started drinking on the job and I couldn't take the whiskey breath in my face. So I started going to Manny on Jorge's day off so I wouldn't insult him. Well, last week Manny was off for the holidays and Derek tried Raul and of course it was perfect.

 

So...now we have finally found the best barber in the shop but if I go to see Raul on the day that Manny is off, then Jorge will be there and he'll expect me to sit in his chair again. Uggh...and if I go now, both Manny and Raul are there together. My plan is to lurk outside, and wait until I see that Manny is busy but Raul is free, and then go in and tell Manny that I'm late for work or something "so I'll just have to go to Raul."

 

Yes, I could go to a different barber shop, but what fun would that be? :+

[+ nycman]

Bro, I promise that you are putting WAY more into this than ANY of the 3 guys at your barber shop. While I understand the "Seinfeld" emotions, they are better left to sit-coms. None of the guys really gives a shit. Just go in a ask your regular if he minds if Raul cuts your hair. He'll say "sure no problem". And it will be "no problem", I assure you.

 

Simple as that.

 

Now if you ask him to cut the hair on your Mary Kate and Ashley dolls...THAT may be a problem...

[eastbayguy]

Life is not a Seinfeld episode. You are the customer. You get to decide how you spend your money. Period.

 

Your life would be a Seinfeld episode if you were screwing Kramer and were worried George would find out.

 

--EBG

 

P. S. Go take the Kramer Reality Tour and relax. If you've never taken the tour, it is well worth it. Find the picture of me in the photo archives and win a doll...

 

The home page for Kenny Kramer (likely family) and his tour of Seinfeld stuff in New York is here:

 

http://www.kennykramer.com/home.html

[Boston Guy]

Or you could simply call up and make an appointment with the guy you want to see... and then show up for your appointment, say hello to the other guys in friendly manner, sit down, and get your hair cut by the guy you want to cut it. This is not a situation that calls for anguish or deep planning. It's your money, you are the customer, you get to make these decisions. As my father would say, "just be a man about it."

 

BG

[Guest ortrud45]

Dear Rick

 

I know you are smart and have two balls, lol ... so think for once with them, not with your ass and follow the advice given by BostonGuy.

Sometimes when we seem to have a problem we don't see anymore the

most simple solution.

 

Cheers ortrud45

[bostonman]

>Just go in a ask your regular if

>he minds if Raul cuts your hair. He'll say "sure no problem".

 

Or, maybe he'll say "Not that there's anything wrong with that..."

[jeanclaude44]

I think that you have every right to be concerned about what Manny and Jorge will think of you.

I would call up and make an appointment with Raul under the name of "George Costanza."

[+ Lucky]

If that is the same barber shop I went to in Chelsea, then it is hit and miss with all of the barbers as one doewsn't do as well the second time as he did the first!

 

I didn't like Rick's mohawk, but I thought he sure looked cute when his hair was freshly cut and he was all spiffed up to meet a client!

[Rick Munroe]

Thanks for the advice, guys. However, my post was tongue-in-cheek. Maybe the title should have been "Exaggerating a Fleeting Thought for Humorous Effect on a Message Board."

 

By the way, Lucky, you're right about the hit-and-miss quality of the barbers, but it holds true for every barber shop in Chelsea that we've tried, except for the one on 7th Ave which used to have "The Hummer," as I called him. He was about 20, short and cute, and he used to hum as he clipped. Not a song or anything...he would hum along to the sound of the electric clippers. Very sweet in a dumb sort of way...but then I like that type. ;-)

[Spida]

Okay I guess I am the only one that got the posting! I know it was meant to be funny, but we all know there is some truth to it! I just switched my shops, as much as I love my current stylist, I hate it that I can never get an appointment cause she is so busy. And the worse part which some may think is the best is that she is a friend so she will never take my money so I feel bad just calling her to cut my hair and not for anything else when I am busy.

 

It is tough when you switch barbers you feel as though you are "Cheating" on your regular isn't it a strange relationship. For 25 dollars plus a tip, you get your hair cut find out about his\her life and tell them about your life and troubles, alot cheaper than my appointment with my therapist and basically the same outcome except I also end up with a good haircut!

 

Funny Rick, we all have these Seinfeld episodes I loved that show and watch the reruns every day!

[woodlawn]

RE: Your life is a more like an endless commercial

 

>Maybe the title should have been

>"Exaggerating a Fleeting Thought for Humorous Effect on a

>Message Board."

 

Giving it that title would not have been a good idea, because that wouldn't distinguish this post from any of your others. They all fit that description.

 

>By the way, Lucky, you're right about the hit-and-miss quality

>of the barbers,

 

My recommendation would be that you try Sweeney Todd. I understand he's pretty selective about customers, but I'll be more than happy to give you a reference.

[Guest Mikel]

I knew it was tongue-in-cheek and was going to tell you that it sounded more like an episode of the girl's conversation from "Sex in the City"!

[Guest zipperzone]

The only way one should choose a barber is to go to the one with the biggest bulge but only if he presses it up against you and you get to feel it with your hand that is discreetly covered with that cape-like thing they cover you with.

 

And yes - I know I'm sick!

[+ Charlie]

Spida is right that there is an element of truth in Rick's plaint. One's relationship with one's barber can be more complicated than with most service providers. I went to the same barber for 32 years--helped get his son into college, helped him write important letters(he was a semi-literate immigrant), comforted him when his younger son developed cancer and died at 20, got a counselor for his wife, etc. Then he was ill for awhile, so I found a temporary substitute elsewhere, but discovered that I liked the new barber's work much better, plus he was cheaper and more conveniently located. When my old barber came back to work, I faced a quandary: go back to him, or stick with the new barber (who knew he was a temporary substitute). Did I want to go on paying more for a less satisfying haircut, or did I want to offend/hurt him by saying I preferred to stick with the new guy? I avoided the area of his shop, pretended to be out of town or otherwise unable to make an appointment, anything to prevent making a definitive break. It really did feel like a Seinfeldian moral dilemma. I would probably be dithering still, if I hadn't solved the problem by moving across the country.

[noviceny]

RE: Your life is a more like an endless commercial

 

I dont go to a stylist ; I go to a barber. He knows and comments if I go to another barber. I go to my barber for regular haircuts, but will see anyone for my goatee, cause it really easy to do and noone messes it up.

 

My barber will always comment, "Who did this...did you do this?" I tell the truth and he always gives me some shame response. I, much like many people on this board, feel no shame

[Spida]

WOW That is a first :-) I am keeping this post, so that all will remember what was said! I keep telling everyone that I am always right but for some reason I am not believed!!

>Spida is right <----------------------

 

 

THE REST OF THE POST IS NOT IMPORTANT :-)

>that there is an element of truth in Rick's

>plaint. One's relationship with one's barber can be more

>complicated than with most service providers. I went to the

>same barber for 32 years--helped get his son into college,

>helped him write important letters(he was a semi-literate

>immigrant), comforted him when his younger son developed

>cancer and died at 20, got a counselor for his wife, etc. Then

>he was ill for awhile, so I found a temporary substitute

>elsewhere, but discovered that I liked the new barber's work

>much better, plus he was cheaper and more conveniently

>located. When my old barber came back to work, I faced a

>quandary: go back to him, or stick with the new barber (who

>knew he was a temporary substitute). Did I want to go on

>paying more for a less satisfying haircut, or did I want to

>offend/hurt him by saying I preferred to stick with the new

>guy? I avoided the area of his shop, pretended to be out of

>town or otherwise unable to make an appointment, anything to

>prevent making a definitive break. It really did feel like a

>Seinfeldian moral dilemma. I would probably be dithering

>still, if I hadn't solved the problem by moving across the

>country.

[nate_sf]

>>Spida is right <----------------------

:7

 

Sort of along these lines, this reminds me of a touching coming-of-age experience with my own stylist (yes, I'll admit I used to go to a stylist!) and I decided it was time to start shaving my head. I had been going to her for years, and really thought of her as a friend, so it felt like I was breaking up with her. I stopped by her shop one day and said, "there's something I have to tell you... I think we're fighting a losing battle here..." and told her I was breaking it off because I'd be shaving my head from now on. So sad! ;( I suppose she got over it....

[Rick Munroe]

>it sounded more like an episode of the girl's conversation

>from "Sex in the City"!

 

Wouldn't I have had to say that I was locating my G-spot under the barber cloth while he snipped away?

[Rick Munroe]

>For 25 dollars plus a tip, you get your hair cut find out

>about his\her life and tell them about your life and troubles

 

My barber shop is just $10 (plus tip) and since they don't speak English so well, we don't exchange more than pleasantries. But Jorge did consider me "family" (that's what he said, anyway) and he even offered to cut my hair for free. I could never let him know I am using the other guys...I think he really would be hurt.

 

>Funny Rick, we all have these Seinfeld episodes I loved that

>show and watch the reruns every day!

 

You should get the DVD's; they're considered the gold standard of TV-shows-on-DVD because they went back to the original film prints and recut each episode. The quality is supposed to be amazing, plus they are not edited like the syndicated versions you see on TV now.

[Rick Munroe]

In case anyone's wondering how I solved my dilemma (and I did it this way mostly because the whole thing cracked me up): I waited outside, watching from across the street behind a light pole like a spy, for the moment when Manny had a customer but Raul would be free. Well, everybody in Chelsea must have gotten their hair cut during Christmas & New Year's because there were no customers...for about 25 minutes. I stood there talking to Derek on my cell, both of us laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, and astounded that this always-crowded shop was suddenly desolate.

 

Finally, Derek got a great idea. He would call the shop, ask for Manny, and distract him while I would run in and hop in Raul's chair. It all went according to plan, and I had to try hard not to laugh because as I heard Manny talking (and getting annoyed), I knew what Derek was saying on the other end: in a falsetto, vaguely foreign voice, he was asking Manny the following questions: "Can you cut baby hair? My baby very very fid-ge-ty. When you cut my baby hair? Where is barber shop? When is barber shop open?"

 

Just in case anyone was wondering...

[Rick Munroe]

>While I understand the

>"Seinfeld" emotions, they are better left to sit-coms.

 

I disagree. I think my life is fun because I treat everyday like a sitcom episode. I'll start to worry when I hear a laugh track...but until then, don't rain on my parade.

[Guest msclonly]

This is not about NOTHING!

 

I have been going through this for six years in two different shops, since I still have not found a decent barber. Few speak English and I don't speak Vietnamese. I have been looking for an older Italian barber or even Greek for that matter around the Top Gun Marine base. But unfortunately, I believe they all retired or died.

But the haircuts are only $8.00 and last several months, becuase they are SO short inspite of my requests. Thirty years ago, I paid $25.00 in Hollywood at a hair stylist Salon, and it lasted short of two weeks. So I shouldn't complain.

 

When I walk in, the next in line wants to cut my hair, though only one out of eight get it right. Just a basic haircut long enough to keep it from standing up.

 

I know, what it means to do your own repairs after they get done.

 

So this ia about SOMETHING unlike Seinfeld!

 

}(

[Guest jeffOH]

>You should get the DVD's; they're considered the gold standard

>of TV-shows-on-DVD because they went back to the original film

>prints and recut each episode. The quality is supposed to be

>amazing, plus they are not edited like the syndicated versions

>you see on TV now.

 

A client got me the Seinfeld boxed set for Christmas and it's a must-have for any true fan. As Rick said, the episodes are the as-they-aired originals. It contains seasons 1-3, bloopers, audio commentaries, inside story behind episodes, deleted scenes and several other extras. Gave me something to do during our ice/snowstorm around Christmas.