Having a backup?

[+ m_writer]

There have been times when I hire, the guy does not show up at the last minute due to circumstances beyond control.

 

I have read from forum members that you should have a backup guy in place just in case for events like that.

 

But the thing is, if I want to get a backup on that same night I have a no-show, they would have to be available at that time. And that's a narrow window and not always convenient if the escort needs to be contacted and isn't available.

 

So I wanted to ask an escort how would you feel or prefer to be asked about being a backup choice if asked in advance?

 

Because I definitely don't want to be rude and treat the guy with respect and be honest, but if I tell him "I'm travelling to your city, but I wanted to inform you in advance because I want to hire you in case the first guy doesn't show", I'm really afraid it would be considered tactless and offensive and a waste of time.

 

So my questions are:

 

1.) If someone contacted you in advance to be a potential back up, would that be considered all right? Or would you not really be interested or find that insulting?

2.) How would you prefer to be asked to be a back-up choice? Is there even a right way to ask such a thing?

3.) If you agreed to be a backup, but my first escort choice showed, would you want to be informed that your services aren't needed?

 

Maybe I'm looking too much into this, but I just want to ask in a way where I can rely on a backup escort of my choice in a polite and respectful way without offending him.

[+ nycman]

I'm not an escort....but I would be insulted.

 

No one wants to be "second choice"....or at least know wants to KNOW they're second choice.

 

That's the risk you take. You bet on a "dud"....then you're stuck in the scramble.

 

I don't think there's a better way....just do you're homework so your first pick isn't a dud.

[+ Truereview]

Welcome to the forum, @m_writer. Not an escort here, but I do have a take on this. The catch here is opportunity cost. In my view, a professional escort who looks at this as a business venture and not as a self-affirmation journey, would not dwell on being second choice, but more on the fact that he is being asked to set time apart on his calendar "just in case." That is not acceptable unless you make it worthwhile for the escort. Back in the day when I escorted, had I been approached, I would have asked for a non-refundable deposit of $100. If we ended up meeting, I would have applied it to your final tab. Hope others chime in here with different perspectives so that you can squeeze some applicable wisdom to your situation. Now, continuing to pretend, to your questions:

 

1.) If someone contacted you in advance to be a potential back up, would that be considered all right? Or would you not really be interested or find that insulting?

If I were the escort, I would put you on the hot seat and say "your request is unusual but let's talk about it, also, please know, im not used to being second choice, so I will want to know how to be your first choice next time." The point is not to burn bridges with you as a prospect while casting my net to secure future business. Also, by my not judging you, you as the client are probably already feeling like you can be transparent with me about your desires and thoughts.

2.) How would you prefer to be asked to be a back-up choice? Is there even a right way to ask such a thing?

There is no right way. Just be polite and don't waste time providing a whole bunch of context - time is money.

3.) If you agreed to be a backup, but my first escort choice showed, would you want to be informed that your services aren't needed?

Hell yes, I can then spend your deposit buying myself something sexy for the next client who will put me as first choice.

[JuniorNYC]

...just do you're homework so your first pick isn't a dud.

 

Hi, I'm an escort and I approve this message.

[+ m_writer]

Thank you for all your replies. Yeah, I can definitely see that asking someone to be a backup is insulting.

 

I'll settle for if my first guy doesn't show, just roll with it. But thank you to everyone who took the time to give me advice.

[rvwnsd]

The others who posted before me raised excellent points. I'd like to add a few of my own:

• Searching for a "backup" escort implies an expectation that the "primary" escort will either not show or not deliver the experience you expected. No matter how he performs, seems like this would hang like a cloud of car exhaust over the playdate.
  
• Asking a second escort to reserve time "just in case" deprives him of setting up an appointment and deprives another client the opportunity to hire gentleman #2. Even if you notify him that his services are not needed (more about that in a moment), he will likely not fill that time with another client and the client he potentially turned down will not know he is now available.
  
• Informing gentleman #2 that his services are not needed while gentleman #1 is present might be tricky, particularly if you have already started playing with gentleman #1. "Excuse me, may we take a small break? I need to make an urgent phone call." Ummm...uh...no.
  
• Would you like for an escort to schedule a backup client in case you did not show? Would you like to be the backup client who hears "Hey, sorry, my primary client showed up and we are having a fucking hot time right now. Maybe next time!"
  

[AndreFuture]

As a relatively new escort (none of my clients seem to want to leave reviews for me ), I know I won't always be someone's first choice, so I'm not offended. If someone told me ahead of time they might like to see me, without any kind of security deposit on my time, I would treat that info the same way I treat a guy who says "you're hot, would love to meet you!" A nice but non-serious comment.

[+ José Soplanucas]

My take on having a back up is different. I would not contact a second escort in advance to make a "back up" deal. Instead, I would research the local market and have several options vetted, like in a waiting list. If the guy I made the deal with does not show up (something that has never happened to me), I have a list of interesting and researched guys I can go to and find a substitute.

Besides that, I take this hobby very seriously. It is always a healthy practice to keep your buddy lists updated in the websites you use. Keep yourself informed on the discussions here about the guys you like. Check frequently the reviews. I guess I am fortunate lo live in DC, there are so many guys I would like to hire that I will always get a plan B.

That is what I have always understood a back up plan is.

[rvwnsd]

My take on having a back up is different. I would not contact a second escort in advance to make a "back up" deal. Instead, I would research the local market and have several options vetted, like in a waiting list. If the guy I made the deal with does not show up (something that has never happened to me), I have a list of interesting and researched guys I can go to and find a substitute....

 

That makes perfect sense. Your entire post (including the parts I cut out) describes the way I approach this hobby.

 

I've only had two no-shows that I can think of. One was a regular, with whom I scheduled a playdate for a particular day. He did not confirm, as he usually did, and did not reply to my texts, which was also very unusual. Frankly, I was more concerned about his well-being than the missed playdate. Around 9 PM he texted me to apologize. He was not feeling well, slept all day, and being sick forgot to send me a note. The other was a guy I was supposed to see in LA. He just flaked. His ad pops up every once in a while. In it, he asks other escorts for advice. I'm always tempted to reply "how about showing up for client appointments?"

[marylander1940]

There have been times when I hire, the guy does not show up at the last minute due to circumstances beyond control.

 

I have read from forum members that you should have a backup guy in place just in case for events like that.

 

But the thing is, if I want to get a backup on that same night I have a no-show, they would have to be available at that time. And that's a narrow window and not always convenient if the escort needs to be contacted and isn't available.

 

So I wanted to ask an escort how would you feel or prefer to be asked about being a backup choice if asked in advance?

 

Because I definitely don't want to be rude and treat the guy with respect and be honest, but if I tell him "I'm travelling to your city, but I wanted to inform you in advance because I want to hire you in case the first guy doesn't show", I'm really afraid it would be considered tactless and offensive and a waste of time.

 

So my questions are:

 

1.) If someone contacted you in advance to be a potential back up, would that be considered all right? Or would you not really be interested or find that insulting?

2.) How would you prefer to be asked to be a back-up choice? Is there even a right way to ask such a thing?

3.) If you agreed to be a backup, but my first escort choice showed, would you want to be informed that your services aren't needed?

 

Maybe I'm looking too much into this, but I just want to ask in a way where I can rely on a backup escort of my choice in a polite and respectful way without offending him.

 

No-shows happen a lot to escorts... and please don't call someone and ask him to be a backup it's insulting, besides if you're in a big city you could just call someone else and if you don't have much time uber him to you so he knows you're serious.

 

My take on having a back up is different. I would not contact a second escort in advance to make a "back up" deal. Instead, I would research the local market and have several options vetted, like in a waiting list. If the guy I made the deal with does not show up (something that has never happened to me), I have a list of interesting and researched guys I can go to and find a substitute.

Besides that, I take this hobby very seriously. It is always a healthy practice to keep your buddy lists updated in the websites you use. Keep yourself informed on the discussions here about the guys you like. Check frequently the reviews. I guess I am fortunate lo live in DC, there are so many guys I would like to hire that I will always get a plan B.

That is what I have always understood a back up plan is.

 

Exactly... have a 2nd choice in your mind and save his number, call him if something doesn't work and hopefully he'll be available and if not your 3rd choice might be free now or in 1 or 2 hours.

[+ Keith30309]

I think everyone more or less agrees - contacting a potential hire to tell them they are a backup is a bad idea and pointless. A no-show is a much bigger problem for me when travelling than when home. I have had no-shows at home and, while disappointing, I have lots of options.

When travelling my schedule is typically much tighter and so I do my research in advance and have a mental list of vetted companions I'd like to meet. If I have a no-show I'll go to a backup the next day if it is too late the same day.

 

It does raise the question of the point at which a client or companion is considered a no-show.

Is it 3 hours before when there's been no response to voice messages & texts seeking confirmation?

Is it precisely at the agreed-upon hour when there has been no confirming contact in the preceding 24 hours?

Is it an hour after the agreed-upon hour when there's been no response to messages/texts?

At what point can a companion accept another client or a client contact a backup companion?

 

For me there are several variables: if it's someone I know then I already trust them and have some awareness of their reliability so I wait. If it's someone about whom I have zero experiential information and they've gone silent 24 hours in advance then I begin to narrow my second options so I'm ready to pick up the phone at the exact time of the appointment. I was contacted an hour after an agreed-upon time by a guy in Houston and apologized and explained I'd made other arrangements when I didn't hear from him.

 

I'd expect nothing different if the situation were reversed and I failed to confirm my intent to a companion.

[Anton]

So I wanted to ask an escort how would you feel or prefer to be asked about being a backup choice if asked in advance?

 

Hi m-writer, I think that most of your questions have been answered. I'm chiming in because I might have an additional consideration.

 

Imagine that you ask an escort to be the "backup" for that night. The escort of your first choice shows up and things go really well.

 

The next time you visit that city the escort of your first choice may not be available and you choose to contact the escort who was the "backup" the previous time (who now becomes your first choice). Depending upon his personality, he may not take your request very serious since it didn't lead to an appointment when you contacted him the previous time you were in town.

 

Nevertheless, the fact that you ask the question here is what I find considerate and thoughtful.

 

Most of all, enjoy the boys!

 

Anton.

[UpDownUnder]

Thank you for all your replies. Yeah, I can definitely see that asking someone to be a backup is insulting.

 

I'll settle for if my first guy doesn't show, just roll with it. But thank you to everyone who took the time to give me advice.

If it makes you feel any better, I have set up hundreds of appointments over the years and I have had an escort flake exactly FIVE TIMES. And two guys were responsible for all five flakes... (one because he was beginning a downward spiral with substance abuse and the other because he was prone to having panic attacks - though I think his tarot cards advised him against keeping the appointment the last time he flaked (seriously, he sent me a photo of the cards)... needless to say, neither guy's phone number is in my current list of contacts.

[+ m_writer]

Nevertheless, the fact that you ask the question here is what I find considerate and thoughtful.

 

Most of all, enjoy the boys!

 

Anton.

 

Thanks. That's why I figured asking here first since other escorts could help give me advice since I definitely don't want to do this without considering the pros/cons.

 

So again, to everyone of this threat, thanks for your patience and answering my question and stopping me from being a complete idiot.

[Juan Vancouver]

... needless to say, neither guy's phone number is in my current list of contacts.

 

We do things differently. I only save the numbers of my regulars and of ALL flakes. Saved with as much detail as possible so when they call to "book" again I know who they are and how to deal with them. And yes, a good 8o % percent of flakes always call back trying to schedule an appointment and are often shocked when you remember they flaked on you.

 

Saved the flakes and the weirdos. That will erase the risk of you calling them again without remembering who they are.

 

So again, to everyone of this threat, thanks for your patience and answering my question and stopping me from being a complete idiot.

 

I agree the folks here are really nice and helpful, but the one who deserves the credit is you. You had the inkling that something was not entirely right in your scheme, you took the time to ask others, and -most importantly- you had the wisdom of understanding other's points of view and learn from them.

 

You, Sir, are not only not a completely idiot, but a sweet, caring man. Any escort will be very lucky when the phone rings and finds you on the other end.

[+ m_writer]

Juan, thank you for the kind words.

 

And hopefully, the next time you and Thor come over to Southern California, I might be able to see you both. Or hey, I always wanted to go visit Vancouver for a vacation.

[+ nycman]

I only save the numbers of my regulars and of ALL flakes

 

Funny, I do the same thing, but I rename them.

 

First name = "Loser"

Last name = Their town

 

So if you search Loser" on my cell phone it's a

virtual Rolodex of bad hustlers from all over the

globe.

 

Right now "Loser Las Vegas" is the #1 hit followed

closely by "Loser NYC".

 

It helps a lot. If I start to type in your phone number

to contact you and you were a flake once before,

it immediately identifies you as "Loser City".

I don't really need to know "which" flake you were,

just that you were one.

 

It's saved me from making the same mistake twice

countless times, especially with guys who have

changed their name/pics/ads.