Things men can feel free to STOP saying...

[Mocha]

Not to be negative, as I already know someone will say it. But 2 things I don't understand: When for whatever reason a client (assuming it's even a client on the other end) can't see you, usually due to rate or your chosen location in town. They'll say, "that's too much/too far and I can't see you. But enjoy your visit to (insert city, usually the Midwestern and rust belt cities)"

 

It's like, he just declined to see me after seeming so interested in me...usually over something that can be compromised. Yet want to wish me a happy trip. Why even play with my mojo like that. Years ago I had someone say that because I'd ended up in a "Midway airport" hotel...that was 30 miles from the city. Apparently too far for him. But then couple days later I moved over to the bustling center of town. He was nowhere to be found, of course.

 

The other thing, is when someone says, "I'll pass."

 

Both of those phrases irritate me so much...but it's usually done by texts so I try not to take it to heart. But it tends to make me question the integrity of the other person. I actually went off on someone today because of the above. Mainly because I wasn't even in their city, and only had possible future plans to be passing thru. And the person already declined and wished me well.

 

If someone wants me to have a good trip, pay for a couple nights hotel or leave me your apartment keys for a week and leave $500 cash lol. Ok, maybe not all that, but something more personable. That's what clients near Lake Superior do

[Juan Vancouver]

Wow,

 

We see things differently.

 

If someone takes the time to say he won't be meeting me for whatever reason and then wishes me a good visit or a good day, it actually makes me feel better about the interaction. I always make a note about someone polite like that and I am grateful. This person doesn't owe me anything; he doesn't have the obligation to hire me, hell, he doesn't even have the obligation to be polite, yet he was...

 

It's called a pleasantry. It's the lubricant of all social interactions.

 

I am not one to suggest you change your ways, but boy, oh, boy, your life would be so much easier if you took this innocuous sentence as what it is most of the time, just an attempt to soften an interaction that has been ruffled. We all spend too much time raging and ruminating; how much happier we would be if we just switched from that to feeling grateful.

 

That of course, is just my personal way of dealing with this situation; not that there is a right or wrong way to do it.

 

If your way of dealing with it is working for you, then you are doing the right thing.

[jjkrkwood]

Will there ever be a mocha post where you are NOT complaining about something or Someone, or spewing disdain for Humanity ?

 

Cant you even ever TRY to be Happy and positive or lighthearted ?

 

Your posts are always negative, depressing and off-putting, and I am truly sorry if this is your life experience. Unhappiness is debilitating...

 

and I know you are probably annoyed or even angered that a lot of the members here don't Share your views, but really, how could they ? It seems to be Mocha's World and I couldn't figure out WHY all these dark clouds seem to always hover over you, but I am starting to understand why. Maybe just try looking in a mirror and practice "smiling" .... It might make you feel better ?

[mattr]

I am sitting here shaking my head. I am "guilty" of this behavior that find so irritating (although, sadly, at this point I can't think of behavior that doesn't seem to irritate you). 99% of the time my well wishes are sincere, the other 1% of the time I am just too polite to say "fuck off".

 

A sincere wish for a good trip also serves another purpose. I usually try to give honest feedback if a meeting is not going to work out from my perspective (location doesn't work for me, rate outside my budget, etc.). The escort can use this information as he sees fit. When I have decided that it is not going to work for me, a wish for a good trip is a nice way to end the interaction. It lets the escort know that my intention in pointing out why I will not be pursuing a meeting is not to get him to lower his rate or change location or whatever. It lets him know that the feedback is for informational purposes only, I have moved on, and there is no ill will on my part.

 

As far as your moving to a new location and not hearing from the potential client, if he did not ask you to move, he is under no obligation to meet you because you chose to move. Perhaps in the interim, his plans changed and the meeting is no longer feasible for him. There are flakes out there and perhaps in your business, you see more of them than in other professions, but I think you need to consider that at least some of the guys who choose not to see you are nice, sincere people and the stars are just not aligning for that particular meeting.

 

As others have already pointed out, these little niceties make the world a more pleasant place and should be treasured, not disdained.

[+ Truereview]

@Mocha, I going to try to not pile on to the constant feedback you get here. I can see how it would be debilitating to get pummeled every time you post. That's gotta suck, unless that's your kink - to be shamed, criticized, etc.

 

I do want to ask you a few questions . Although, I'm genuinely interested interested in your answers, you don't need to answer them; I don't expect you to. I'm just another stranger. I also don't want to start a pissing contest between us. I would just appreciate it if you could reflect or possibly comment on these:

1. Are your posts here a way to vent your frustrations? If so, what would be the best way to support you with that?
   
2. Do you gain anything from the tough love people give you here?
   
3. Besides talking about it, what have you actually done to control what you can? I'm talking behaviors, actions.
   
4. Can you show us that you are capable of posting something positive or uplifting?
   
5. Besides $ and stability (two undercurrents in most of your posts), what makes you happy?
   

I really like that you are a constant forum voice demanding direct, authentic, unvarnished communication. I like your battle cry for no more Minnesota nice or Southern charm - I hate fakery too. Some people are really that nice or charming though. Hard to believe, I know. Anyway, think on the questions. With respect, -TR

[+ azdr0710]

don't know how anybody could be angered and offended by somebody offering them well-wishes.....

 

"Wherever you go, don't forget you have to take yourself with you"

Mocha: please make a decision to accept the widely-varying interactions you'll have in this business.....I've met you and know you're not an idiot, but gotta wonder if this is the right thing for you....

[jjkrkwood]

I don't think anyone here has been mean or disrespectful in their comments or advice to Mocha, but his rhetoric is really getting tiring. He's just an angry man, and there are many of those in the world. They use a lot of energy just being angry at anyone or anything. If someone would say "it's a nice day", he would probably disagree. Some people still choose to handle him with kid gloves; that's their choice. However, I don't see how that's helping very much. In fact I don't see how anything is helping him. He remains angry, and finds hostility in the most mundane, innocuous things.. and I truly don't believe that he's open to "receiving".

No matter what name he posts here as, the message is always the same "I'm a black man and I'm pissed off". Mocha, we hear you loud and clear !

[+ José Soplanucas]

To everyone, I think it is true that this Mocha post is aligned with his classic negativity, but if we look at his posting history the last couple of months we should recognize he has been making significant efforts to strike a more positive tone.

 

To @Mocha , be careful and think twice before writing a post. This forum may not be the best place to vent about clients if you want to gain new ones and keep your regular ones. Find other escorts that can listen to you, or friendly clients you can privately text or send PMs to. Try to keep your participation in these public forums in a more positive tone, so your brand is not hurt. Listen to @Juan Vancouver and @Truereview . I think it will be better for your business.

 

I'm personally longing to be back in DC in August and have the chance to meeting you for the first time.

[down_to_business]

I am curious if in Mocha's case he would prefer no reply at all instead of the well wishes. I personally would send the pleasantries or something just as a courtesy of closure instead of just leaving the escort hanging and wondering why I never responded and yes, being polite. If I simply did not respond at all, would you ever wonder why I didn't reply-- or if I got your reply at all (i.e. did it go directly to spam)? Is that really better?

[tpl]

Not to be negative, as I already know someone will say it. But 2 things I don't understand: When for whatever reason a client (assuming it's even a client on the other end) can't see you, usually due to rate or your chosen location in town. They'll say, "that's too much/too far and I can't see you. But enjoy your visit to (insert city, usually the Midwestern and rust belt cities)"

 

It's like, he just declined to see me after seeming so interested in me...usually over something that can be compromised. Yet want to wish me a happy trip. Why even play with my mojo like that. Years ago I had someone say that because I'd ended up in a "Midway airport" hotel...that was 30 miles from the city. Apparently too far for him. But then couple days later I moved over to the bustling center of town. He was nowhere to be found, of course.

 

The other thing, is when someone says, "I'll pass."

 

Both of those phrases irritate me so much...but it's usually done by texts so I try not to take it to heart. But it tends to make me question the integrity of the other person. I actually went off on someone today because of the above. Mainly because I wasn't even in their city, and only had possible future plans to be passing thru. And the person already declined and wished me well.

 

I don't need any fucking well wishes. Not if its just empty. If someone wants me to have a good trip, pay for a couple nights hotel or leave me your apartment keys for a week and leave $500 cash lol. That's what clients near Lake Superior do

I am curious if in Mocha's case he would prefer no reply at all instead of the well wishes. I personally would send the pleasantries or something just as a courtesy of closure instead of just leaving the escort hanging and wondering why I never responded and yes, being polite. If I simply did not respond at all, would you ever wonder why I didn't reply-- or if I got your reply at all (i.e. did it go directly to spam)? Is that really better?

Mocha,

I am a client. I've never taken cancelled without reason. I have cancelled with the flu. I have cancelled with a bad cold (although, I've me a few men when highly medicated with histamines!), and I've cancelled with the worst, poison ivy. These were all legitimate reasons to me. Give people a break.

[Mocha]

OH. My. God. I knew it, I knew it.

 

@Truereview : I'm not going to answer any philosophical questions. I'm sure you wouldn't care to be asked, "why do you pay for sex? Why are you a top, why are you a bottom? What do you get out of paying sex, why do YOU....YOU...have an account of daddies forum. Can't you just hire in privacy. Why are you reading my post? Why are you responding to mochas post? What are you getting out of responding to me and asking me philosophical questions?" See...people can ask people anything. Doesn't mean it requires an answer, nor that it answers the question at hand.

 

My thing is: I'm not saying it's bad to wish someone good luck. I don't think people are understanding what I'm referring to. But, this particular caller in question...I Reread thru his emails and his 1st one said, "I am not a client who flakes or no shows". But yet, leaves a passive-aggressive comment like, "enjoy your stay". To me...being someone who can read and decipher artificial behavior...that's not a genuine well wish. Sure, it may be polite, and standard American operating procedure, But it's not genuine. If it was genuine he would have said, "sorry, but I can only afford X amount". Then that leaves the ball in my court. But to close out the conversation after originally stating he would make a point to see me, cancels that out. And again....the main point here: I never met this client before. Both the intro and exit was done coldly by text. That proves even more the gesture was overkill to a point of feeling passive aggressive.

 

Think about it: You arrive at a restaurant. The hostess says there's a 30 minute wait. You say, "sorry but can't wait that long." Then, you follow up and say to the hostess: Hope you get lots of customers and enjoy the rest of your night bussing tables" See...when I put it in real life situations, it doesn't sound so polite, now does it? Let your yes be yes and your no be no.

 

@Juan Vancouver , I respect you as a person and as an escort. However, you are not the blessed mother Juanita of Vancouver. Sometimes I feel you expect others to be amicable with any situation, rather than reading the full gist of what the other person is saying. And I think you naturally feel being amicable with any situation equates to success or being a better escort. Look, me and you do the same thing. No matter how many likes you get on here, You and I both do a work and YOU have a relationship openness that many would find morally reprehensible. I'm not judging, but nobody is perfect. I don't have to feel a surge of joy from every person who contacts me. Do you feel that? Do you not ever have any reservations about the things people say to you and how they say it?

 

The other thing is people on here need to quit as if no one ever says anything to them or vice versa that rubs people the wrong way. It happens all the time. Like the bible says, too busy looking at the speck in my eye, not paying enough attention to the 20" dildo in yours. Of course, I know I asked the question, but still...doesnt warrant being bitched out (Hope I don't get in trouble for this example)

 

@jjkrkwood, you can thank me later. Don't put it in your ass, put it in your mouth and hold with both hands. That way I don't have to see or hear you typing.

 

[+ Funguy]

Oh Balderdash!!

[510guy]

As a client, I do sometimes have to pass for whatever reason. But I will take into account how he is on text exchanges to decide if I will keep him in my list for future or find a way to make it work.

 

I wish someone well and they are thankful and leaves the door open for next time then at least I know it is an option. But if someone goes off on me or as what happened before tells me I am a cheap jerk then I am glad I passed and take them off my list.

[Mocha]

As a client, I do sometimes have to pass for whatever reason. But I will take into account how he is on text exchanges to decide if I will keep him in my list for future or find a way to make it work.

 

I wish someone well and they are thankful and leaves the door open for next time then at least I know it is an option. But if someone goes off on me or as what happened before tells me I am a cheap jerk then I am glad I passed and take them off my list.

 

Yup, the replies can be worse! I try to refrain from saying cheap jerk, but I might ask how much they were considering to begin with.

[mattr]

@Mocha I'll defer to your judgment that the particular client in question was not being sincere and in that case I agree that he shouldn't say something like "enjoy your visit". However, you made a blanket statement that we all "can feel free to stop saying" pleasantries and that is where the problem started. Your anger is palpable here and I just hope your potential clients don't feel it when they attempt to engage you.

[jjkrkwood]

I honestly dont understand WHY anyone here pays this arrogant, disrespectful asshole any attention at all. He is close minded, hateful and unhappy, and he is taking his unhappiness out on this site because we are a captive audience unless we put himon IGNORE, which we probably should. He is trying to sound intelligent and wise-ass, but its playing like he's a bigger joke than Trump. I said it to JD, and now Mocha, I'm saying it to YOU... "YOU NEED TO STOP TALKING, AND GO GET A JOB IN A PROFESSION YOU MIGHT ENJOY"... Escorting aint your bag baby. YOU know it and your clients know it ! And thank you for that lovely Black dildo. I probably WILL enjoy it alot more than I would ever enjoy YOU.