Eye Contact

[+ Oliver]

I recently had a hiring experience that was less than optimal because of very little eye contact ...

You want eye contact? Hire Mike Gaite!:D

[BabyBoomer]

You want eye contact? Hire Mike Gaite!:D

 

Or an ophthalmologist.

 

~ Boomer ~

[+ glennnn]

I can Never see their eyes when they are sitting on my Face. I can just imagine them.

 

I'll send you my periscope, or you could try a hand mirror!

[MikeyGMin]

I'm middle of the road. A guy who can't look me in the eye at all would make me a little uncomfortable, but I don't require constant eye contact. Personally, I like to look directly into someone's eyes and have that "I see you" moment (name that movie) but then I break the lock and nibble somewhere. It's too easy for a sexy eye lock to become a creepy stare.

[gezellig4u]

My vote goes for regular eye contact. Lack of eye contact is off-putting, and staring without blinking scares me.

[+ Phactor]

I wouldn't be able to feel a connection to my companion if there wasn't much eye contact

[WolfRamNHard]

Great comments all! I'm doing my best to try to see all sides of this issue.

 

Here's what I tend to consider adequate eye contact (allowing for some cultural differences) but I'm perfectly willing to re-evaluate my biases-

 

- When you meet someone for the first time, it's good to look them in the eyes and smile (handshake is optional when meeting a date or other casual settings)

- In conversation, it's good to look up at someone from time to time and nod occasionally to signal that you are in fact listening to what they are saying

 

Beyond the basic stuff, when it comes to intimacy, the eyes can convey attraction, lust, pleasure, satisfaction, hesitation, excitement, and so much more. It's possible to have an entire conversation without saying a word.

 

When it comes to sex, eyes can be powerful secondary sexual organs. Someone truly skilled at sex can do so much with eye contact. As such, eye contact can sometimes make the difference between perfunctory sex and a tremendously fulfilling experience. For this to work well, it certainly helps to have mutual chemistry, no doubt. But there's a good argument to be made that if one specializes in sex as a profession, then it's probably worth learning how to communicate using "eye language", if one wants to excel, even if one can't or chooses not to use it on everyone.

 

Or at the very least, make an attempt to appear interested even if it's just basic etiquette (see above for example, when you meet someone for the first time, it's good to look them in the eyes and smile, etc.)

[+ poolboy48220]

Personally, I like to look directly into someone's eyes and have that "I see you" moment (name that movie) but then I break the lock and nibble somewhere.

Avatar?

[MikeyGMin]

Avatar?

 

Yes.

 

I'm sure it is trite on my part, but ever since seeing that movie, it's how I mentally label that moment of connection.

[MikeyGMin]

The power of eye contact

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETruLMvJpvM

[AndreFuture]

As natural and simple a thing as eye contact is, for some of us, it is not something we give up so easily.

I think I must have a (mild?) case of scopophobia or something, because I just hate looking people in the eye, even in photos or on TV. I know I'm supposed to maintain eye contact when speaking, so I force myself, but it's always unpleasant. Though I've noticed I don't have this problem with babies and very young children (for the most part) or other animals, so it probably has something to do with intimidation.

 

While I was restrained, my escort stared into my eyes, ordered me to stare into his eyes and to not blink or look away. He then lightly touched my face, including my eyelids and eyelashes, telling me to trust him and give myself to him. His other hand was caressing my cock. I did what he said, looking deeply into his beautiful eyes and allowing him to touch my eyes without restraint.

 

That sounds like pure torture…

[+ glennnn]

[uSER=12528]@FTM_Twink[/uSER] One man's meat is another man's poison. It was mainly the intimacy of the act, like when someone touches your anus. He was sooooo gentle and loving, it just unmanned me!

[klifhangar]

The power of eye contact

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETruLMvJpvM

 

Well, that's incredibly hot. TV show?

[MikeyGMin]

It's a VH1 series called Hit The Floor. It's about basketball cheerleaders, so yeah, I haven't really watched the actual series. However, the subplot between Zero and Jude make for some mighty fine YouTube videos.

[oscarkin]

Being an introvert (yeah, i know I don't come across that way here), I don't make eye contact upfront unless we already know each other. I would say eye contact is not essential for intimacy, it is intimacy for me. As an introvert, when I give myself to someone, all of my being beams out towards that person, including my eye contact. You know the line about hookers will blow you, but not kiss you? Same thing for me as far as eye contact. As natural and simple a thing as eye contact is, for some of us, it is not something we give up so easily.

 

Now,there may be a host of reasons why folks don't make eye contact, I've given you mine. Lack of chemistry, shame, cultural norms, drugs, etc can all lead to lack of eye contact, but the key is not to find fault in yourself about it but to explore what that barrier may be for that person across the bed/table/couch from you. You may not ever know what the barrier was, but the exploration is essential. See, despite the fact that I don't make eye contact easily, there are things that can help me warm up to it: good conversation (not interrogation), laughter (no comedy routine, please), and emanating warmth. I hooked up with a guy a couple years back. He was a gorgeous gentleman - I don't use that word causally. After a few minutes of chit-chat and some laughter, he said: you have beautiful eyes, what color are they? Green? We didn't lose eye contact for the rest of that evening.

 

By the way, there will be a camp that subscribes to the notion that if you are paying $300+, you better get eye contact. I'm in the camp that money doesn't buy you emotions and connection, it buys you dick and ass. Nothing wrong with the latter, but if you want emotion & connection (intimacy) in hiring situations, we (client and escort) have to put some sweat equity into it.

 

Interesting post. I think I'm more in the other camp. I need to feel some sense of connection (intimacy if you like) for the experience to be fulfilling. For me, that generally includes good eye contact. I guess it’s theoretically possible to feel that sense of connection without the eye contact but I have a hard time imagining it. Having said that, I don’t necessarily find an initial lack of eye contact a problem. It might even be positive if it involves, say, shyness. But sometimes lack of eye contact feels more like a deliberate unwillingness to connect. For me, that’s a real turn-off. I do agree with the “sweat equity” part – whatever connection occurs is or ought to be a shared responsibility.

[BasketBaller]

While I like the physical sensations� too, eye contact is a major reason my favorite positions to take it from a guy are on my back or riding.

It occurs to me that even when I'm taking it doggy-style I usually crane my neck a few times to look in his eyes. Love that.

[+ Truereview]

Careful, craning your neck might lead to injury or demonic possession. At least there is eye contact

http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2013-10/enhanced/webdr01/20/23/anigif_enhanced-buzz-6021-1382324650-1.gif

[BasketBaller]

If the top's doing his job, the smoke isn't coming out of my mouth!

[WolfRamNHard]

When I am topping or fingering, I find myself paying a lot of attention to my sexual partner's facial expressions and body language because that helps me get a better idea of whether and how much they are enjoying what I'm doing, or whether they are uncomfortable and I should do something different or change gears. Obviously eye contact is a big part of that.

 

Conversely, when I agree to bottom (which doesn't happen often, although I do enjoy it with the right person), I expect my top to be attentive and be able to read my body language and adapt himself accordingly. If there's poor eye contact when we are first getting to know each other (outside of sex), then that would seriously undermine my confidence in his ability to be able to communicate with me while we're having sex. In other words, poor eye contact = I'm not going to bottom for that person because I don't know if I can trust them fully to treat me well.

[LADoug1]

I think I must have a (mild?) case of scopophobia or something, because I just hate looking people in the eye, even in photos or on TV. I know I'm supposed to maintain eye contact when speaking, so I force myself, but it's always unpleasant. Though I've noticed I don't have this problem with babies and very young children (for the most part) or other animals, so it probably has something to do with intimidation.

 

 

 

That sounds like pure torture…

Scopophobia?

[+ José Soplanucas]

Scopophobia?

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scopophobia

 

Yeah, I had to look for it. Thanks for adding a new word to my vocabulary, [uSER=12528]@FTM_Twink[/uSER] !

[LADoug1]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scopophobia

 

Yeah, I had to look for it. Thanks for adding a new word to my vocabulary, [uSER=12528]@FTM_Twink[/uSER] !

So much for the Merriam-Webster dictionary! Lol

[WolfRamNHard]

Well Twink, from this thread I guess all blind/autistic/aspergers guys in the world are S.O.L....

 

ForgottenClone - that's actually a really good point that you raised, and one that I wish I had considered earlier. Thank you for bringing this up.

 

To speak for myself, I would happily hire a visually-impaired escort (all else being equal). In its essence, eye contact is simply a marker for attentiveness. It is the lack of attentiveness that is off-putting. So any scenario where my sexual partner were unable to make eye contact but was still attentive to our mutual experience would be completely fine by me.