Don't Pay Up Front!.....(and other cautions)

[+ azdr0710]

the Cleveland BP thread should be another reminder that we all should never, ever pay up front.....when meeting somebody new and not-yet-trusted, I always say ahead of time that I will pay at the end of the meeting, I ask if that's ok with the guy, and then I ask him to not talk about money AT ALL during the meeting.....very simple and obvious advice....we should all be following this rule all the time.....

 

I'm hoping this thread can become a bit of a "sticky" in which we all can offer our own little hints and cautions....anybody have other suggestions for a successful meet?

[alexslaveboy]

Yes @azdr0710, I learned the hard way

I saw a muscle guy on a flexing site that offered "meet ups" for muscle worship and he listing his location as Philadelphia

So I contacted him we exchanged over 20 emails and finally set a date place and time to meet......but here was the caveat he asked me to pay $100 for Uber to drive him to Jersey and to send it his PayPal account as friends and family

After asking 20 times"your not going to scam me" and 20 replies of " no I am reliable and will not disappoint you"

 

We can all guess what happened I sat in a empty parking lot in the rain for a hour just me and the security car!!! He kept emailing that he was there looking for me but all the stores were closed except McDonald's and I went inside and nobody

I am sure he was sitting home in Pennsylvania somewhere with a girl laughing that he tricked some gay guy to send him a hundred bucks!!!!

 

Total scammer and I will never again front any money for anybody!!! There are plenty of Tristate muscle guys on RentMen that are real and reliable!

[+ harey]

Have a name for the guy?

[+ Keith30309]

the Cleveland BP thread should be another reminder that we all should never, ever pay up front.....when meeting somebody new and not-yet-trusted, I always say ahead of time that I will pay at the end of the meeting, I ask if that's ok with the guy, and then I ask him to not talk about money AT ALL during the meeting.....very simple and obvious advice....we should all be following this rule all the time.....

 

I'm hoping this thread can become a bit of a "sticky" in which we all can offer our own little hints and cautions....anybody have other suggestions for a successful meet?

 

Agreed. The only time I can recall being asked for money up front (actually mid-session) it was a complete failure.

[bigvalboy]

I'm hoping this thread can become a bit of a "sticky" in which we all can offer our own little hints and cautions....anybody have other suggestions for a successful meet?

 

My 2 or 2 cents...

 

1) If he does not come as advertised...WALK AWAY. (yes all caps because I'm yelling) Every time you don't, that means their deceptions are working and they will keep doing it.

2) Always do a quick meet-n-greet (Think Starbucks) for escorts that are unknown to you. And be prepared to say "No thank you".

[LADoug1]

Yes @azdr0710, I learned the hard way

I saw a muscle guy on a flexing site that offered "meet ups" for muscle worship and he listing his location as Philadelphia

So I contacted him we exchanged over 20 emails and finally set a date place and time to meet......but here was the caveat he asked me to pay $100 for Uber to drive him to Jersey and to send it his PayPal account as friends and family

After asking 20 times"your not going to scam me" and 20 replies of " no I am reliable and will not disappoint you"

 

We can all guess what happened I sat in a empty parking lot in the rain for a hour just me and the security car!!! He kept emailing that he was there looking for me but all the stores were closed except McDonald's and I went inside and nobody

I am sure he was sitting home in Pennsylvania somewhere with a girl laughing that he tricked some gay guy to send him a hundred bucks!!!!

 

Total scammer and I will never again front any money for anybody!!! There are plenty of Tristate muscle guys on RentMen that are real and reliable!

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I guess 20 emails was a red flag.

[MmM]

I met up with someone at their place once. It was on the 20th floor of a govt subsidized housing in Brooklyn. As soon as he opened the door I realized the pictures in the profile wasn't his. I said it's not gonna work and turned around to walk away. He and his buddy started coming after me asking for some sort of compensation because he turned someone else away for me. The elevator of course didn't come right away and I was trapped with these 2 guys coercing money off of me. I bolted straight to the step well and jumped and ran as fast as I could. It was scary. So make sure you meet at a public place!!

[+ dutchmuch]

I am fascinated by this 'money up front' story:

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/mini-driver-up-front-broken-nose.76447/

[MikeBiDude]

I am fascinated by this 'money up front' story:

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/mini-driver-up-front-broken-nose.76447/

Really, Dutch? A closed thread almost six years old? Beneath you....drop your agenda.

[+ dutchmuch]

If there is an 'agenda', it is to warn people!

No money up front for a first time encounter, or from a well-reviewed escort that you've used in the past. This is usually part of a larger plan to con / swindle / grift.

Caveat: Don't turn your back.

 

It's a fake, it's a con

The nature of the road you're on

lets me see your skeleton

well before your life is done

 

Another is waiting, he isn't saying anything

 

Avett Brothers - Another Is Waiting Lyrics | MetroLyrics

[alexslaveboy]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I guess 20 emails was a red flag.

Yeah I am a little too trusting

Should have known better to at ask to speak to him

[alexslaveboy]

Have a name for the guy?

Don't want to name him in public I'll tell you in our email

[MrMattBig]

Escorts point of view:

 

Money should always be up front. Now I don't mean in an in my hand and count it and put it in my wallet type of way. Just out by the TV dresser or etc. Reason being, anyone can scam anyone, even regulars. I had a regular I met with 5 plus times, last time we spent 6 hours together. His thing was domination and begging for certain acts during the session, so depending on the session he would pay various amounts at the end. Well this last session he said again he would pay at the end. We finish, he answered his phone and after the call proceeded to tell me he was in trouble with his significant other and would pay me electronically the next day. Well, the next day comes and he says he is not paying me and deletes his email and changes his number!

 

In summary, it is better up front. Now, I can imagine a small amount of muscle worship men escorts see an opportunity to scam and earn money, and do it. This is where, as a client you should be weary. Try to go for escorts who clearly are sexual beings and love their work. Be weary of ones who hold their hand out like an atm. I like to make out with a client for a few minutes, then ask them to undress, get comfortable, and in doing so casually ask them to put the fee near the TV ( clearly not atm behavior and loving what I do enough to not be able to resist a quick make out session) .

 

In conclusion, opt for a meeting at a starbucks beforehand to gage the escort is not trying to scam you, and when you get to the room, engage small talk, or a quick touchy feel make out to ensure he is into it and not trying to scam. But never insist for payment at the end. It will leave the escort feeling uneasy and lead to a subpar performance and session.

[Mike Monkevicz]

I always pay upfront ... There is always a chance of being a fake! But I will take that chance it is more comfortable for myself and I do believe the escort.. Money is always awkward if you ask me. If you are going to hire someone you are already taking the chance. That's just what I do. I have been fooled in the past but that goes with this business if in giving someone the chance I am also going to give them the benifit of the doubt .. I don't play games with two fingers up or the money .. I just don't have the time and I like to give everyone the benefit of doubt!!! It's not a bad way to live life!

[wearytraveller]

I typically leave the donation in plain view on a dresser or table. The bills are spread such that it only takes a quick glance to tell that's all there. Only once have I had an escort pocket the money right away. I look at it this way, we've agreed to a price and provided something doesn't go crazy during the encounter, he's entitled to the full amount. Now, I've had encounters where I've felt like the services weren't up to par or weren't what I was expecting but in those cases I've still paid the full amount and just chalked it up to a poor experience. I'm guessing that most, if not all the guys who post here regularly would never rip off an escort. However, I imagine there are all sorts of stories out there about clients who refuse to pay or demand a discount after all is said and done, so I totally understand why some escorts, especially the new ones, want the payment up front. Having the money visible but not giving it to them ahead of time makes me feel better and I think gives the escort some confidence that he's not going to be ripped off at the end of the session.

[Jock123]

From an Escorts point of View,

 

For me Its a case by case basis. Some people I've met You can tell they are looking for any and every reason not to follow through paying. Usually because they cant afford it anyways. My Stats are Accurate, My Pictures are Accurate, Hell even my age(Some escorts fib on this part). I can honestly say every session ive gone Into, Ive gone Into it with every Intention of making the Client Happy. Sadly some people have Hired SO much over the Years. Its nearly Impossible to Satisfy them. When I first started most people geniunely wanted to get to know You...Now Im starting to notice being treated more as a "Hot guy with a big smile"

 

 

Also I NEVER meet anyone "For the hell of it" beforehand. I.E Starbucks etc. If you dont like what You see when I show up...I wont get offended or Demand money(Thankfully this has yet to happen). This is why Its Important to have UPDATED pictures and be clear of Your Likes/Dislikes beforehand. If You follow through However, yes I expect to be Paid.

 

 

My thing is the Gay Comunity is Small. The stats of those Hiring is even Smaller. Its nothing comapred to being a Female Escort where You're getting Flooded with Emails. THUS my Intention and HOPE when I first meet someone is they want to see me again and become a Regular. If it wasnt for my Regulars there are some Months I wouldnt have been able to Pay my Bills ,especially when Rentboy shut down.

[marylander1940]

the Cleveland BP thread should be another reminder that we all should never, ever pay up front.....when meeting somebody new and not-yet-trusted, I always say ahead of time that I will pay at the end of the meeting, I ask if that's ok with the guy, and then I ask him to not talk about money AT ALL during the meeting.....very simple and obvious advice....we should all be following this rule all the time.....

 

I'm hoping this thread can become a bit of a "sticky" in which we all can offer our own little hints and cautions....anybody have other suggestions for a successful meet?

 

and yinz should never hire from BP!

[Epigonos]

As far as I'm concerned whether or not one pays upfront DEPENDS on a number of different things. I've been hiring escorts for well over a decade and as best I can remember I have always paid upfront and I have NEVER been ripped off. Even when hiring a guy for the first time I place his fee in an envelope and present it to him soon after we meet. I even recommend that he count it to make sure I haven't shorted him (I've never had an escort do that). One reason I am comfortable operating this way is that I have always hired only escorts with multiple positive reviews on this site. Another reason is that most of the guys I currently hire are multiple repeat hires.

The bottom line is that I'm comfortable operating in this manner. If someone else isn't then he should make it VERY clear to the escort during early communication that he will pay at the end of the appointment. I also understand that the concern of the escort, he just might be ripped off by a clients thus if a clients isn't going to pay up front the fee should be set out where it is clearly visible.

There is NO right or wrong regarding this matter. As with all thing concerning a client's dealing with an escort: communicate, Communicate, COMMUNICATE

[+ bashful]

Money should always be up front.

I always pay upfront ...

For me Its a case by case basis.

 

Have not done a lot of hiring (only 6 guys on 9 occasions). Not one has ever asked for money to be either paid, or displayed up front. I'm in the pay after camp.

[+ Funguy]

As far as I'm concerned whether or not one pays upfront DEPENDS on a number of different things. I've been hiring escorts for well over a decade and as best I can remember I have always paid upfront and I have NEVER been ripped off. Even when hiring a guy for the first time I place his fee in an envelope and present it to him soon after we meet. I even recommend that he count it to make sure I haven't shorted him (I've never had an escort do that). One reason I am comfortable operating this way is that I have always hired only escorts with multiple positive reviews on this site. Another reason is that most of the guys I currently hire are multiple repeat hires.

The bottom line is that I'm comfortable operating in this manner. If someone else isn't then he should make it VERY clear to the escort during early communication that he will pay at the end of the appointment. I also understand that the concern of the escort, he just might be ripped off by a clients thus if a clients isn't going to pay up front the fee should be set out where it is clearly visible.

There is NO right or wrong regarding this matter. As with all thing concerning a client's dealing with an escort: communicate, Communicate, COMMUNICATE

 

I'm in somewhat the same position except that I never pay up front and always pay at the back end. As Epigonos says, ". . . I have always hired only escorts with multiple positive reviews on this site. Another reason is that most of the guys I hire are multiple repeat hires." Not a single escort has ever asked me for up front money, or for that matter, ever brought up money at all, even at the first visit. I am the one who says, "How much do I owe you?" to confirm the amount and bring out the money. On my way to one appointment, as I was parking, I realized that I forgot the money. I told the escort right then and there that I forgot. His answer, "Just send it to me."

[Bart]

Hello

First great thread because we are getting both sides Client and gentleman and that is awesome, because there is almost always 2 or more sides to a story. So I really appreciate input of Mr. Big and Jock. Always good to get perspective when making a decision.

 

Second I never like to start with Never and Always. Are there times you can use those statement sure but Usually, Most of time, rarely, etc are more fitting.

 

Third have ever been burned paying up front, yes. Have I stayed when I shouldn't have, yes. Have I had a great time paying up front, yes. Have I paid deposit and had a great YES! Have I been burnt paying a deposit, YES! Are these all life experiences, YES!! Will I make mistakes in future Yes. Will I have good meetings in the future Yes! I guess I am saying you have to make a judgment call based upon circumstances. This may seem wishy-washy answer but I don't think you can ever have a cookie cutter answer to this question.

 

Communicating properly with a gentleman is the most important thing you can do. I will say one thing I have begun mentioning to gentlemen in my discussions, I usually pay at the end and try to elicit a response to indicate their acceptance. One thing that is a put off is walking into a meeting where the gentleman does say hello (sometimes not even that) and can you put the fee on the table there or I do ask that you pay your fee before we begin. I don't like that. If they want to be paid up front, then I believe they should put it in their ad or mention it before I arrive. I have heard the old well that is standard practice.

 

I can assure you it is not. In fact 14 years of hiring, probably one out 10 will ask for the money up front. Seriously any gentleman who assumes all guys get paid up front are wrong. Again I don't mind paying up front, I just wish they would mention it ahead of time. One of those rare times of me negotiating, only first time meetings after that usually I don't care, I will say are you comfortable with me putting money out on table. If you are going to spring the money up front I think it will go much better if you give the guy a hug a nice deep kiss and a squeeze and whisper in his ear with a lick, by then money is out of pocket on stand along with my pants and dick, just saying. There is a good way to ask and really asshole way of asking.

 

Thanks for all the input.

[down_to_business]

This is why I like getting past the first "awkward" meeting with someone new and establishing a long term hiring relationship with them so I don't have to spend so much time on the anxiety issues of whether or not he is real, will do what he says, is going to rip me off, etc. Giving up that brand new experience every time for this stability seems a small price to pay, especially if we are able to form some kind of a connection. And on that note, I will be breaking all my own rules for my next hire -- meeting someone new for an overnight, not reviewed, porn star, with a tattoo.

 

My norm is pay after based on being ripped off

I refuse to do cash deposits

I will buy non-refundable/non-changeable airfare (yes, I have still been burned on this) but at least they can't cash it out and run with the money

[+ Axiom2001]

There have been approximately three times where the bills have gone into his hand prior to our play session, and in those cases, the sex has not been as desired.

At one time I told the guy that paying upfront is definitely a "red flag." If my memory serves me correctly, the sex was not good. On another occasion the guy

man did not want to kiss. I told him that in his ad, he'd mentioned that he did kiss. Did we kiss? Yes, and I made sure that it was deep. Fortunately for me his

oral hygiene was pleasant.

 

To date I refuse to pay upfront. Have not had anyone to request it, but if he did, I'll end the session before it starts and walk away with all of my $$$'s.

 

Two years ago I saw a guy in the early evening in San Francisco. He requested the fee up front; I gave it to him, and as the session turned out, it was not

the best to say the least. I wrote a detailed review at www.rentmen.com which was this escort's first. He was pissed and wrote me a highly apologetic

email asking me to request its being removed. He stated that it would hurt his business. He also invited me to see him again and that he would not expect a

fee. Did I follow through? Yes, to his request of my asking the webmaster to remove, and No to my wanting to be involved with him again.

 

The webmaster did remove the review, and in his doing so relayed to me via email that he would not post any negative reviews if they were the escorts' first. I was ok with this.

To date this particular man no longer escorts in the San Francisco Bay Area, and the guys whom I've seen subsequently to my having seen that particular dud

have been wonderful. In fact, when I want to play, I've only seen former guys with whom I've had some remarkable times, excepting last Saturday, the 11th of

June 2016.

[down_to_business]

...

To date I refuse to pay upfront. Have not had anyone to request it, but if he did, I'll end the session before it starts and walk away with all of my $$$'s.

....

 

That's a great policy Axiom.. I wish I was a steadfast in sticking to my own rules. If I may ask how you would handle the following. Of course you probably wouldn't have gotten yourself into this situation in the first place but here it goes, you hire someone for a weekend. Only then, after both flying to a resort destination, checking into your hotel room, he drops the demand for payment in full for the entire weekend immediately.

[bigvalboy]

That's a great policy Axiom.. I wish I was a steadfast in sticking to my own rules. If I may ask how you would handle the following. Of course you probably wouldn't have gotten yourself into this situation in the first place but here it goes, you hire someone for a weekend. Only then, after both flying to a resort destination, checking into your hotel room, he drops the demand for payment in full for the entire weekend immediately.

 

I can say what I would do, assuming that I was actually foolish enough to get myself into that situation. IMO..."demand" is a pretty strong word, so I would end the appointment immediately, give him a little money for his trouble, pay for his return flight home, and send him on his way, then I would go lay by the pool and order myself one of those cocktails with an umbrella in it.