Mutual Touch doesn't mean I want to hold your hand.

[Rudynate]

I have never found "mutual touch" to be very straightforward. It is so vague that it is open to just the type of interpretation you find upthread. I don't really like the "happy ending" sort of erotic massage. I like it when, partway through the massage his touch starts to accidentally on purpose get increasingly more provocative. I like to initiate my touch of him usually by resting my hand on his hip and taking greater and greater liberties.

[Brian Kevin]

Fuck touching my dick durring a massage, lick, suck, kiss and drain mine please

[beachboy]

Fuck touching my dick durring a massage, lick, suck, kiss and drain mine please

That's the way to do it- Atta boy, I wish!

[Capitano]

I have never negotiated upfront or even cared much about specific details of MT. I just want a good massage, for which being naked is a must, so my first priority is to feel comfortable being naked. This often but not necessarily means that I'd like my masseur to be naked as well (it is an equalizer, creates a level playing field in my mind), but I always leave it up to them and whatever they are comfortable with. Some have chosen to disrobe and I still never hired them again and I have gone back (and still do) to some who always remain clothed because I feel 100% comfortable. As far as touching, I strictly leave this to the vibe and mutual chemistry, and 100% outside the realm of the massage contract. Besides probably being illegal it would be a major turnoff for me to go over such topics before getting a massage (if one wants sex, they should be honest about it and hire escorts) but then whatever happens between two adults is fine.

 

Having said all this, the subject of MT is sometimes invoked by the masseur himself and, based on my sample, most seem to assume that MT means that they will touch you all over and you can touch them all over as well. I have also noticed, though, that many Russian and Eastern European masseurs will not touch your private parts but are ok with you touching them and, interestingly, they tend to be very specific and upfront about this even if not asked. This is their definition of "sensual massage" :-) I guess, they expect you to "take care of yourself" while touching them if you wish to. But then there are others, this guy in Chicago ("all American" btw) wanted to stroke me but he doesn't get naked or want to be touched anywhere and the whole thing came up all of a sudden and was both unwanted and awkward. So, ultimately, tricky subject, just as the whole question of what m2m or sensual massage is supposed to be.

[Phil_musc]

Having said all this, the subject of MT is sometimes invoked by the masseur himself and, based on my sample, most seem to assume that MT means that they will touch you all over and you can touch them all over as well. I have also noticed, though, that many Russian and Eastern European masseurs will not touch your private parts but are ok with you touching them and, interestingly, they tend to be very specific and upfront about this even if not asked. This is their definition of "sensual massage"

 

If this is their definition, then clearly some nuance of the experience is lost in translation.

 

I guess, they expect you to "take care of yourself" while touching them if you wish to.

 

This mentality guarantees that I will not be repeating with this masseur. Presses all my negative insecurity buttons.

[macguy247]

I always ask specific questions when I hire for stuff like this. If not, you'll get people acting like they don't know what you wanted. Sometimes they'll still lie. I left a bad review for one dude in Houston that advertised a mutual touch, fully nude massage which was nothing of the sort. He wore underwear during the massage and didn't want me touching his dick during the end because it was too cold in the room.

[Capitano]

I always ask specific questions when I hire for stuff like this. If not, you'll get people acting like they don't know what you wanted. Sometimes they'll still lie. I left a bad review for one dude in Houston that advertised a mutual touch, fully nude massage which was nothing of the sort. He wore underwear during the massage and didn't want me touching his dick during the end because it was too cold in the room.

 

I don't think there is a universally superior approach. As I said, I personally don't like any sensual aspect to be part of the contract (i.e., negotiated, stipulated, etc.) and prefer to go with the chemistry; I am open to things happening, although I am really, really picky , and if anything should happen I feel like it has to also be the other side's choice.

 

Now, if you want to be sure, it's probably the proverbial double-edge. If you insist on it (say, nudity, touching, or whatever) upfront, you may scare away many good ones which may be open to it but get nervous (is it a setup?). Plus you may scare some who might wonder about all kinds of reasons why you are insisting on it. And those that you end up seing go into it somewhat uptight and determined not to "give" more than they agreed. In summary, while your approach limits your downside & disappointment, it may also limit your upside?

 

PS I agree with you that getting good value for your money, whatever it is that you want, is tough and one better be careful, especially in one-time deals that are unlikely to repeat themselves. This goes for massages but also haircuts, plumbing jobs, etc.... which is why internet sites with rankings and evaluations can be so helpful. And which is why I usually go back to my 3 favorite masseurs and venture to try a new masseur only once in a while (also, avoiding visitors that come to town, since you are unlikely to see them ever again any way). Repeat sessions are the best and tend to get even better over time, but then, this requires time AND money :-(

[Kody S]

I find it just frustrating when the masseur is nude but keeps at such a distance that there is no connectivity at all. There doesn't seem to be any point to that especially if you are face down the whole time and there isn't even a view. I appreciate a very good therapeutic massage, but don't "tease."

[tennisjock]

I feel your pain. I am of the school that if the masseur is comfortable with you and strips naked and you see him frequency then stuff can and does happen with mutual consent and after the massage is finished. I actually like the thought of a stud giving me a sweet good rubdown and there is a "will they or won't they" I have found that the fantasy is better than the reality. As the saying goes "mileage may vary" all this rambling aside if I hired someone for a mutual touch I make it quite clear what that entails if it's important to me. I have found that a mutual respect goes a long long long way. Worse is the guy who gets you naked and starts tugging on yr pud to make you cum as fast as possible.:-)

[+ Keith30309]

To each their own. The semantic ambiguity, anxiety about being being rejected, and frustration at unmet expectations that can sometimes go with this experience is a huge turnoff for me.

 

I'd wager that each masseur knows before you walk in the door or within 30 seconds thereafter exactly what is going to happen. I would also guess that every guy has a mental framework they work within and only occasionally stray outside it if the circumstances make them want to.

 

I went to a masseur who advertised 'sensual' massages and worked with his shirt off after I had a minor pulled muscle in my back. I absolutely didn't expect anything intimate at first but after the 4'th visit I was very comfortable with him and brushed against him a little. He's a nice guy and didn't make a big deal about it but made it clear that was unwelcome. Fair enough - he did give a good therapeutic massage and I stopped going to see him when I was healed.

The interesting thing is that I've gotten 10+ texts from him asking me to come back. I don't have the heart to tell him that there are lots of other masseurs who give great massages plus extras.

[Capitano]

Keith, I would try to find a way to let him know what is going on, something like "you indeed give great massages but massage is a very personal experience for me and I have found this other guy that seems more comfortable with me and vice versa" ... and you might even refer to the word "sensual" if he advertises it. Granted, it's difficult to imagine how you'd go back to him after such exchange (the dynamics would be weird) but he should know more about his clients and how they react to his ad and massage.

 

I once had a guy charge me $150 for a supposed 1 hour outcall and was totally half-assed and in and out of my door in less than 55 minutes. When he sent me a text trying to schedule the next massage I texted back saying "sorry, you lost me, and here is why..." I think it was useful for him and gave me a sense of voice and closure, a win-win, even though I never saw him again.

[tennisjock]

Keith..I hear you. We are only human after all and if they spend a good 30 minutes massaging yr butt and thighs..everything but the hole ..and they are brushing against you..then u reach out to touch his pecker which just left a trail alongside yr thigh and side..then they get all mad if you reach out..if they don't want to be touched they should be careful not to rub their wiener alongside you or be pile driving it into your hair when they are doing long strokes down your back.

[+ nycman]

I've had experiences like yours and they are awkward.

 

If you don't want your penis touched...keep your shorts on. That's fine with me.

 

A naked penis dangling 5 inches away from me for over an hour....is going to get touched.

 

In reality, I'd much rather grope your ass cheeks while I cum...but some dudes who are fine

having their cock sucked, don't like having their ass touched at all.

 

We humans are peculiar animals!

 

On the flip side I've had the reverse happen. I was in an upscale spa and the masseur suddenly

whipped his hard dick out. I wasn't into him at all. I tried to be polite but he FREAKED out

and acted like I had done' something wrong and offended him.

 

It would have been funny...if it wasn't so odd. Sexually I'm pretty open and free

but if I'm the one paying, expecting a legit massage, and don't want "extras"....

how am I in the wrong?

 

People are strange.

[+ Oliver]

.... I don't really like the "happy ending" sort of erotic massage. I like it when, partway through the massage his touch starts to accidentally on purpose get increasingly more provocative. I like to initiate my touch of him usually by resting my hand on his hip and taking greater and greater liberties.

I agree! I also prefer that the eroticism increases as the massage proceeds rather than left to the end as a rub and tug.