Why do you hire?

[+ glennnn]

Born gay. Years of denial. Married a wonderful woman and maintained a satisfactory physical and familial relationship. Age ended that, so now I hire because I have so much pent up need for m/m sex and only a few years to fulfill it. Anal and oral are great, but what I want mostly is hugs, kisses and communing with my escorts' masculinity. Being me at last.

[+ glennnn]

This is a wonderful thread and I want Mo to know that the men and women on this site are amazingly loving and generous in sharing their life experiences and in helping others. I have several that I have private conversations with regularly and they are as precious to me as many life-long friends. They helped me to finally come out and accept myself at age 72 with the support and advice of the whole forum. Mo, don't give up, let us help and encourage you to reach a more fulfilling life. It can be done: you've come to the right place.

 

Love to you,

 

Glennnn

[+ Keith30309]

I hire to have better sex than I can get otherwise.

 

But the big revelation to me was how much I love Love LOVE falling asleep in a guys's arms and waking up hours later still in his arms. Almost better than the sex. Almost.

 

+1

Falling asleep is so comfortable and intimate.

[klifhangar]

+1

Falling asleep is so comfortable and intimate.

 

This answers a question for me which I've meant to pose: why do people pay SO much for an overnight when you're paying an hourly fee during which you are asleep? I feel like I would take a 5Hour Energy and go at it all night to get my money's worth. Ha! I kinda get it now. I assume that you wake up a bit early and have seconds? I surely would at least do that. Maybe even a midnight... snack.

[Will Do]

This answers a question for me which I've meant to pose: why do people pay SO much for an overnight when you're paying an hourly fee during which you are asleep? I feel like I would take a 5Hour Energy and go at it all night to get my money's worth. Ha! I kinda get it now. I assume that you wake up a bit early and have seconds? I surely would at least do that. Maybe even a midnight... snack.

 

Part of my money's worth of an overnight IS the comfort and intimacy (as noted by @Keith30309) of falling asleep spooning - crotch to ass with an arm thrown over me.

 

Midnight snacks and taking advantage of the early rIser are excellent too!

[+ WmClarke]

This answers a question for me which I've meant to pose: why do people pay SO much for an overnight when you're paying an hourly fee during which you are asleep? I feel like I would take a 5Hour Energy and go at it all night to get my money's worth. Ha! I kinda get it now. I assume that you wake up a bit early and have seconds? I surely would at least do that. Maybe even a midnight... snack.

But you're really not. If you include the sleep time, the per hour rate drops dramatically. If you exclude the sleep time, the hourly rate still comes out much better (usually).

 

And, yes, seconds and thirds (and even occasionally fourths) are wonderful!

 

And waking up your partner by taking care of his morning wood is always a good time.

[+ Charlie]

Everyone hires for his own reasons, and they are equally valid, whether they are warm and fuzzy or cold and calculated. When I hired, it was because I wanted to do certain things with certain kinds of men, and it was the most efficient way to satisfy my desires.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

yes i would agree with you. Support group have their purpose. However, for truly odd ones, like myself, those situations can be awful unless you find acceptance with yourself. Going solo isn't the path for everyone but it shouldn't hold anyone back from living a fulfilled live. I also stated that the important of depending on the kindness of stranger. I hope Mr. Mo is getting therapy & medication. They are important. Seeking out good escorts, while shouldn't be confused for therapy or love, will give a person human touch that is very important in grounding them, allowing them find their path through positive experiences. Dam, I sound like a old hippie!!!!

"They are writing songs of love but not for me...."

 

While I agree that Mo should seek out a more integral approach to bettering his life and connections with others, I would disagree with the notion that we are sex-workers aren't providing a form of therapy. Sex has the potential to reduce stress, improve immune function, reduce the risk of cancer, improve self-esteem, as well as a damn good cardiovascular excercise. If therapy is defined as something that improves someone's feeling, mood, or health than sex work is definitely a form of therapy. Many of my clients tell me that it is the ultimate therapy, more valuable than what they get from their psychiatrist. It is of course a matter of what we make of it and who we are working with.

[+ glennnn]

Lance is one hell of a therapist. BTW

[klifhangar]

Lance is one hell of a therapist. BTW

 

Maybe my insurance would cover his services..

[Epigonos]

Why do I hire? FOR FUN!!!!!

[notforme]

While I agree that Mo should seek out a more integral approach to bettering his life and connections with others, I would disagree with the notion that we are sex-workers aren't providing a form of therapy. Sex has the potential to reduce stress, improve immune function, reduce the risk of cancer, improve self-esteem, as well as a damn good cardiovascular excercise. If therapy is defined as something that improves someone's feeling, mood, or health than sex work is definitely a form of therapy. Many of my clients tell me that it is the ultimate therapy, more valuable than what they get from their psychiatrist. It is of course a matter of what we make of it and who we are working with.

Really, a sex worker should not be a substitute for a mental health professional. This man sounds like he is in pain. I answered him with sincerity and do not devalue his relationship with sex workers or sex workers in general.

[whipped guy]

I think what we are all more or less attempting to say is that an escort can be analogous to a professional therapist and not necessarily a replacement for a professional. Heaven knows that in times of stress having a fulfilling sexual experience can most definitely be of value to some individuals such that they might not need additional therapy. However, if that is not the case then hiring an escort can be considered to be an adjunct to what a therapist might bring to the table.

 

Hopefully the OP will be able to figue out his best options. However, that he is a member of this community, and is reaching out for answers seems to indicate that a certain amount of sexual gratification and satisfaction is something that is indeed important to him. As such, it most likely is something that needs to be entered into his equation for success. If an escort can provide the perfect relationship it might indeed help him on his way to improving his life or hopefully be a least a piece of the puzzle for realizing a successful outcome.

[jjkrkwood]

I think what we are all more or less attempting to say is that an escort can be analogous to a professional therapist and not necessarily a replacement for a professional. Heaven knows that in times of stress having a fulfilling sexual experience can most definitely be of value to some individuals such that they might not need additional therapy. However, if that is not the case then hiring an escort can be considered to be an adjunct to what a therapist might bring to the table.

 

Hopefully the OP will be able to figue out his best options. However, that he is a member of this community, and is reaching out for answers seems to indicate that a certain amount of sexual gratification and satisfaction is something that is indeed important to him. As such, it most likely is something that needs to be entered into his equation for success. If an escort can provide the perfect relationship it might indeed help him on his way to improving his life or hopefully be a least a piece of the puzzle for realizing a successful outcome.

 

 

 

Every person in our lives "plays a role". a role that we allow them to play. We offer what we have, and they take from it what they want. How a person reaches their "peace" is an individual journey navigated by themselves in their own time. Lines and roles may blur but in the end it's all about "Results"... And we must also keep in mind that some people sadly never find their solitude in life. All we can do is guide them and try to give what they need and "ask" for.

[Guest]

MM, I really hope you get some help (counseling) for your personal problems. There's no reason you can't find happiness. I'm not sure I understand the question "Why do you hire?", though. To me it's a bit like asking "Why do you go to Disneyland?" or "Why do you go whitewater rafting?" or "Why do you scuba dive?". It's no more complicated than "Because I enjoy it and find it money well-spent."

[down_to_business]

I hire because I like guys in a ridiculously specific narrow range -- those with a fitness model body, movie star good looks, and a host of other picayune details not worth mentioning while lacking the confidence to go for it or the thick skin to handle rejection. Unlike most others on here, it has not been life changing positive, because I use it as a crutch to avoid dealing with what I really want in life- and that is to find a real relationship. But as most people will tell you, you can't find love with someone else when you can't love and accept yourself. That's my long-term work in progress, I guess, but not doing a great job with it.

 

Anyhow, I think I would rather skip a hire and just give Mo a big hug and then take him to Disneyland!

[Kenny]

I saw this question about 50 pages back but, rather than revive a four-year old thread, I thought I would ask it again. I like the question. I also want to share my reason for hiring with you all - catharsis of sorts, or maybe for anyone reading this who thinks we're nothing but sex maniacs. For some of us, this "hobby" means so much more...

 

I'm 35 years old. I've never been in a relationship, I've never been in love - in fact, I've never been comfortable with others in any capacity. I have no friends, no close family. I was emotionally neglected as a child and was bullied relentlessly for being weak and effeminate, so mostly I've just always been afraid of people. The chronic shyness as a child became social anxiety as a teen and has since become some sort of reclusive personality disorder. I rarely leave my house and I'm completely alone most of the time.

 

I often long for interaction, intimacy, physical closeness, to feel desired, to be touched.. Hiring a companion is my only way to experience these things. Without their generous and compassionate help, I would never feel safe, comfortable, desired, or significant at all, and I'm so grateful for the work they do.

 

You?

So many people need you and what you have to offer. It would be a shame not to go out and find them.

[Will Do]

 

Anyhow, I think I would rather skip a hire and just give Mo a big hug and then take him to Disneyland!

 

 

 

Can I go with y'all?? Please??

[TruthBTold]

Mo, I live in downtown Chicago and would be more than happy to meet for a drink (or two). It would be a very loose environment so that you could say whatever you'd like. I like all the ideas that have already been expressed. I was in a relationship which ended when he cheated (the circumstances seem almost funny to me). Of course, I felt that much of it was my fault. Unfortunately, I think I also may have felt that because I was undesired I was undesirable on every level. I had the occasional tryst but never formed a bond. At any rate, because I still needed emotional and physical contact I set something up. I have seen the same person for almost ten years and it has taken "work" to keep it within appropriate emotional boundaries. Thank God there are no appropriate sexual boundaries.

If you get a chance, see the movie The Sessions with Helen Hunt. Funny and moving.

[klifhangar]

I am pleasantly surprised as how kind and compassionate people are on here. Just thought I'd say..

[+ Truereview]

Hey, @Mo Mason ! Listen, bud, lots of caring guys here; I'm so glad you joined us! One thing to keep in mind about this forum is that, in our desire to help, sometimes we (forum members) trip over ourselves trying to diagnose and prescribe solutions. Forgive us for that. @UnstableAtom nailed for me: Forums are a greaht way to experiment connecting in an unterrifying manner and also a great way to learn about motives.

 

My motives for hiring are two-fold:

1. I'm a slut. I like exploring sex with all kinds, and being a client puts me in the driver's seat on what, when, and with whom I want to explore. I also like the intimacy -even if fleeting- that I can create with total strangers
   
2. I'm a reasonably good looking, successful professional, but I'm also deeply flawed in some aspects (i.e. Impossibly high standards, undesirable travel schedule, untrusting, etc). which makes it hard to keep a BF. Hiring has been a way of life for 11 years, and it is now a habit I've grown to like too much to give up - plus I have a couple of gents who depend on my repeated...uhm...donations
   

There you have it...not pretty but true. Hope to see Mo of you Mason.

[Beancounter]

I hire escorts simply because I'm butt ugly and have never been able to pick up anyone on my own. One of my worst days was when an escort turned me down saying he couldn't go through with it after we had started the deed. At least he had the decency to return my money. It doesn't matter though. That's the way life is sometimes.

[marylander1940]

Because I'm old.

[gregkidman]

The reason I hire is because I have a hearing disability where I have to wear hearing aids. When growing up, I was 'main-streamed' in an hearing school instead of attending a deaf school. As a result, my interactions with people were hot/cold, I was the kid with the disability with no friends. One day, it will be friendly, then the next day nothing. It didn't help matters when my family keeps moving from one city to the next, due to my father's job. As a result, as an adult, if I go to a bar, I find it hard to communicate due to noise, and I am awkward to boot, not knowing how exactly to carry a conversation. If I date, then it becomes a novelty date where people go 'oh cool, you sign ASL!' And within the deaf community, since I can talk well, I am viewed at an arm's length. Hence, I am not really within nor accepted by the deaf community. I am stuck in-between with no meaningful relationships and surface interactions with people. Hiring allows me to escape that for a few hours and feel that I am desired.

[Will Do]

The reason I hire is because I have a hearing disability where I have to wear hearing aids. When growing up, I was 'main-streamed' in an hearing school instead of attending a deaf school. As a result, my interactions with people were hot/cold, I was the kid with the disability with no friends. One day, it will be friendly, then the next day nothing. It didn't help matters when my family keeps moving from one city to the next, due to my father's job. As a result, as an adult, if I go to a bar, I find it hard to communicate due to noise, and I am awkward to boot, not knowing how exactly to carry a conversation. If I date, then it becomes a novelty date where people go 'oh cool, you sign ASL!' And within the deaf community, since I can talk well, I am viewed at an arm's length. Hence, I am not really within nor accepted by the deaf community. I am stuck in-between with no meaningful relationships and surface interactions with people. Hiring allows me to escape that for a few hours and feel that I am desired.

 

 

I can't imagine what you have deal with - no idea. Appreciate you being open here about that and sharing.

 

Hiring, for so many reasons as this thread has indicated, makes us all feel better.