Loud music in gay bars

[foxy]

Friday night I met up with Cooper, duke and Tomcal at Posh, a nice midtown NYC bar. We were there early and I was looking forward to meeting and talking with duke and Tomcal who I'd never met before. We were the only ones there and we sat in the back of the bar. The music was loud and I had a hard time hearing the conversation. I went up to the bar and ordered a drink and asked the bartender politely to turn the music down a little. He didn't. After a while the bar filled up and we went off to dinner. As I left I saw people trying to hold a conversation over the loud music. If you go to a club to dance I expect the music to be loud but it seems like if people are going to a bar to meet with friends or to make new ones it would be nice not to have to scream to the person next to you. Is there such a thing as a gay bar that doesn't play music so loud your ears start to bleed? I'd like to think gay men have standards. Why do we have to put up with all this noise at gay hangouts? Have I just gotten cranky in my old age? I don't really want an answer to that one.

[OneFinger]

Foxy,

 

You've hit on one of my biggest pet peeves!! In my older age, I find it very difficult to go out in public and try to hold a reasonable conversation.

 

Many years ago when I lived in New London, CT there was a neighborhood bar called "Frank's Place". It didn't have the loud music or even a dance floor. But it did have a nice quiet atmosphere and even offered a home-cooked meal one night a week. (Frank actually lived above the bar and was a fabulous cook.)

 

I really wish I could find another bar like that. Too many are catering to the younger crowd and old farts (like me) have no place to go. ;(

[+ Lucky]

This is very strange because I, also, have been with Tomcal in a bar where the music was very loud. Coincidence?

[VaHawk]

"If you go to a club to dance I expect the music to be loud but it seems like if people are going to a bar to meet with friends or to make new ones it would be nice not to have to scream to the person next to you. Is there such a thing as a gay bar that doesn't play music so loud your ears start to bleed? I'd like to think gay men have standards. Why do we have to put up with all this noise at gay hangouts? Have I just gotten cranky in my old age? I don't really want an answer to that one."

 

I can't speak for NYC, but as far as DC goes, bars where there aren't vjs or djs blasting music that makes your ears bleed are definitely a thing of the past!

 

It used to be that there were clubs that were dance clubs where the music blasted and that was acceptable because after all, they were dance clubs. I know that I used to love to visit them when I was younger, but then again there were alternatives back then that were available, when one just wanted a "quiet" jukebox in the background, while allowing an atmosphere conducive to conversation! I liked both types back then, and wish there were both types now!

 

MTV didn't just KILL the radio!, it also KILLED the gay bar scene!

[Guest Tomcal_]

>This is very strange because I, also, have been with Tomcal

>in a bar where the music was very loud. Coincidence?

Lucky, that wasn't loud music in the bar you were hearing...it was the melodious voices of hot boys in Rio clustered around you at Estacao...or was it 117?

[Trixie]

I'm with you gals... not just gay bars, but the whole World is getting louder. Mind you, deafness seems to run in my family on my father's side, and already at the ripe old age of 40 I find myself repeating "What?", "Pardon me," "How's that?", way too much. I can't even carry on a conversation in a popular restaurant well these days... the background noise of dozens of chattering diners just drowns out everything.

However, despite my physical flaws, I know it's not just me. The last time I went to the Bench & Bar w/ some friends, the music was deafening... and there were only a total of 14 people in the place. Can't they wait until a real crowd has shown up?

My local grocery store has also taken to piping in Hits of the '70's to acoustically stimulate my shopping experience... there's something rather unnerving about listening to that breathy woman croon "I've Never Been to Me" while shopping for a good wine to go with my Marie Callender tv dinner.

I guess that it's been decided that no matter where we go or what we do, we mst have a soundtrack.

 

drive dumb mankind dizzy with haranguing

-you are deafened every mother's son-

all is merely talk which isn't singing

and all talking's to oneself alone

 

but the very song of(as mountains

feel and lovers)singing is silence

 

La Trix &

la cummings

[Guest msclonly]

It is NOT a gay bar thing!

 

Every restaurant and bar thinks the sound systems have to be turned up to distortion deafening levels. They are not trying to show the quality of their systems. It is impossible to socialize or even ask someone if you could buy them a drink. Notice that many DJs are behind glass and up in a corner booth awar from the speakers. Not knowing what kind of drugs they are on, I have to assume they have already gone deaf!

 

Notice there is NO more dining music or listening music in public or commerial places. It is bad acid or steel rock or whatever they call it. After about 15 minutes of it, and i get tired and sleepy and head for home. Whole Foods in Ft Lauderdale had on the most irritatiing loud rock, that I was unable to concentrate on reading the labels. So I spoke to the susposed manager, who had no clue what I was talking about, when it came to shopping music to increase sales. He looked like a burned out hippie do little!

Even the Chili Jr at the bottom of the hill from the house had their sound system turned up to the irritating max distortion level one afternnon, when the bar and restaurant was empty! Then the host tried to tell me, that there was NO volume control on the system. It had to stay at that Corporate determined level. I told her, that I never saw an amplifier without a volume control and asked to look at it. Thankfully, it was turned down shortly thereafter. I told the waiter who could not hear my order, what I thought about the horrible selection of dining music. Some places have tried to tell me, that awful music speeds up the diners for a faster turnover. Well, I wonder how many more empty tables they have, because people refuse to put up with the music. At the same time, I am told that the number of diners have decreased. Again, they have NO clue!

 

}(

[bigguyinpasadena]

RE: It is NOT a gay bar thing!

 

There used to be a great place on La cienega (los angeles)called Blue Palm.If the owner was in house,which he was often,the music was fun jazz/pop/standards that was appropriate for the clientele.BUT when he was not there the boys who worked for him played the music they liked(pots and pans techno crap)Twice I had to ask them to put something else on or kill it all together.

I,unlike Julia Child,like some soft music while dining.But The music in most gay bars is played for the help.

Montreal has at least three gay bars aimed at the over forty crowd.One where they actually are encouraged to get up and dance(lots of touch dancing)I have not seen anything like that in the states.I guess we are supposed to hide once we hit 40-but everybody still wants our money right?

In LA Numbers still is a bat you can have a conversation in-that is why we have our Hooville meetings there.

[pierrot]

I always have the impression that the loud music in bars and restaurants is turned up to the max because the EMPLOYEES like it that way. They're young kids who are doing grunt work and like to have the music on loud to give themselves some divertissement. Owners should check in and see how the patrons feel about it, but most owners are absentee.

[Guest Smoothee]

>I always have the impression that the loud music in bars and

>restaurants is turned up to the max because the EMPLOYEES like

>it that way.

 

That's what I think too. It's not only in bars but in stores now, too. I find it impossible to shop when Eminem is being blasted in my ears so I'm saving money these days. x(

[hiJinX]

Depends on the bar you go to. For the "quiet jukebox in the background", you might want to check out some of the less posh dive bar type places. The concepts of shiny, happy and loud seem to go hand in hand in the posh places.

 

The positive side of loud music is that it encourages you to get closer to your conversation partner and engage in some casual physical intimacy..,which can be very hot when done properly.:-)

[+ Charlie]

I would never go to a gay bar in order to have a pleasant conversation with friends. However, lately I find that I can't go to a restaurant for that conversation, either, because the music there is just as bad. I understand that silence in a bar where single men are just standing around is very awkward and tends to drive customers away; what most places can't seem to find is the appropriate sound level to make people feel comfortable, whether they are alone or trying to socialize.

[Bilbo]

The mariachi band in one of my most favorite Tex-Mex restaurants, the fabulous, gay friendly, Spanish Flower, drowns out all conversation, too. One problem is that the decor has absolutely no soft spots. True, the diners bodies will eat up some of the sound, but ... Probably the same in many of the bars. Perhaps we should push for curtains, padded chairs and the like? heheheh

[Will]

If you want to go to a bar for a conversation, it had better not be a "gay" bar. Why not a hotel bar that can double as a gay bar? For years, the Oak Bar at the Plaza was a famous place for men to meet men for more than a drink. And it's quiet.

[Guest Merlin]

When I go to a gay bar with loud music, I take ear plugs. I recommend a brand called "Quiet Down" carried in Walgreens. Very soft and comfortable. They bring the volumn down to a tolerable level and strangely, do not make it more difficult to hear the people you are talking to, given that they already have to raise their voices above the music. I always wear them when trying to sleep in a hotel with all its noises, and I have them handy on airplane rides, in case of crying babies and women snapping their gum.

[eeyore]

RE: It is NOT a gay bar thing!

 

>Montreal has at least three gay bars aimed at the over forty

>crowd.One where they actually are encouraged to get up and

>dance(lots of touch dancing)I have not seen anything like that

>in the states.

 

This sounds nice. Could you share with us the names/location of these bars. So far I've only been to the strip bars in Montreal... It might be a nice change of pace to go to a regular bar where a late 40 something can just hang out and have a good time enjoying laidback piano music, etc.

[bigguyinpasadena]

RE: It is NOT a gay bar thing!

 

Bar Relaxe and Club Date,and Meteor are the three that come to mind,ther are two more that I cannot remember the Names of right now.

Club Date is truely a Y'all come on over sort of place and lots of fun when the Kareoke starts up.