The holiday blahs (not the blues)

[dcguy20]

I am feeling a very strong disconnect to the holidays this year. Funny thing is, I know exactly why. The nature of my full-time job seems to always be chaotic between Thanksgiving and the end of the year. I changed jobs a little more than a year ago, and thought things would be different, but it's not. I also work a part-time job on the weekends, which I actually enjoy. I get home from work at a reasonable hour during the week, but I'm so fried, that I don't have the energy to do anything.

 

I managed to roll out and bake some gingerbread men last night, but I can't seem to get motivated to put their faces on!!

 

I'm looking at my Christmas cards and wonder if this is the year that none get sent. I find I'm receiving less and less cards with each passing year. I put up a small tree right after Thanksgiving. If I hadn't done it then, it probably wouldn't have gone up.

 

I'm leaving on Sunday for a week to spend the holiday with my family.

 

How does one circumvent the day-to-day, and muster up the energy to enjoy the things they should. This is definitely not the blues (which I'm familiar with), it's more like STOP, when did things get so crazy?!

[seaboy4hire]

As the years go by I find myself less and less interested in the Xmas season. Especially this year with working two day jobs averaging 60 plus hours a week. This week was just under 70 hours. I have no time for any Xmas traditions. I was lucky enough to catch the tree lighting at Millennium Park. I don't think I'll get to the German Xmas market downtown for the spiced wine As for Xmas cards over the years I've asked people to save the time and not send one. I appreciate the thought but it just seems like a waste to me. This year I have not received one card. I'm a lil Grinchy but there's a couple things xmasy that I enjoy.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[dcguy20]

I'm looking forward to seeing New York City Ballet's Nutcracker next week (a yearly tradition since I was a child). I pulled out a couple of Santa mugs that my mom bought for me a couple of years ago, and that at least brought a smile to my face.

[seaboy4hire]

When I was in Vegas last week I did enjoy the Xmas display at the Bellagio. Sadly it was the only major display I saw in the casinos/hotel. I was expecting more from the hotels I ventured into.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ dutchmuch]

dcguy, you aren't alone.

[Wolfer]

I have loved Christmas season with a passion every year but this year I'm dreading it since my husband and I seperated in the summer. I want to get away from the "family" feeling as much as possible.

I'm actually just gonna go see the new Star Wars movie on Christmas Eve (don't wanna go have dinner at my mom's place). And on Christmas day I'm gonna try and book an escort. Also, on the 24th I'm seeing my therapist in the afternoon... That's the things I'm doing to keep me (and my mind) occupied. I have too much time (to fret, to stress, to replay things in my mind) since my job ended last November so I'm consciously looking for fun and light destractions to get me through the Holiday season.

[Mocha]

I am feeling a very strong disconnect to the holidays this year. Funny thing is, I know exactly why. The nature of my full-time job seems to always be chaotic between Thanksgiving and the end of the year. I changed jobs a little more than a year ago, and thought things would be different, but it's not. I also work a part-time job on the weekends, which I actually enjoy. I get home from work at a reasonable hour during the week, but I'm so fried, that I don't have the energy to do anything.

 

I managed to roll out and bake some gingerbread men last night, but I can't seem to get motivated to put their faces on!!

 

I'm looking at my Christmas cards and wonder if this is the year that none get sent. I find I'm receiving less and less cards with each passing year. I put up a small tree right after Thanksgiving. If I hadn't done it then, it probably wouldn't have gone up.

 

I'm leaving on Sunday for a week to spend the holiday with my family.

 

How does one circumvent the day-to-day, and muster up the energy to enjoy the things they should. This is definitely not the blues (which I'm familiar with), it's more like STOP, when did things get so crazy?!

 

Yay, glad someone else can discuss the Christmas blahs without turning into an all out bloodbath (Seems when I post it, the Grinch and Krampus all come out at once).

 

I've already said it on another website forum. Christmas seems to have faded out back in the 90s. It's not the same now. It used to have more meaning before the economy changed. In addition, when elders who organize big holiday events pass on, it can leave an entire family generation with rather mediocre holidays.

 

Now, Christmas has become "Xmas". Like Seaboy said. It's become commercialized, it's all about spending and numbers, jobs make people work like Santas elves, and the roads become a fucking demolition derby from Black Friday thru the weekend people return to work after New Years. Add in seasonal illnesses, shitty whether, I mean where the fuck do these holly jolly songs come from? Key West? Or Aspen? Maybe Jack Daniels.

 

Also, my religious opinion on Christmas has changed. I don't like the word "Xmas", but I'm learning more and more that it's perfectly okay to not be "into" Christmas. It originated as a Pagan holiday and the scriptures never commanded to celebrate Christmas. There's actually scriptures that reference Christmas, in a negative light. All the holy moly stuff surrounding it is religious, not necessarily a requirement to get into heaven.

 

That said, I'm not anti holiday at all. I think Christmas can be fun and joyous. But I think people put too much expectation on it. And it's because the TV. And the media makes people feel like you have to be either White, straight, married/engaged/coupled up or have a litter of kids. And that's Christmas. Bull fucking shit. Enjoy it for what it is: time for baking and exchanging gifts and taking those paid off days to see loved ones. I also prefer to buy live Poinsettias instead of dead Christmas trees.

 

That said, I'm usually broke and bored around Christmas. I even had a decent holiday savings back in November that I thought would last thru January. But, I've been giving/getting gifts all month and my friends will be here so I ain't mad.

[dcguy20]

Mocha, I think every generation has made the same complaint that Christmas has become overly commercialized. Just look at a Charlie Brown Christmas which originated in the 60s. Though I don't remember Black Friday being thrust upon the general public say 30 years ago like it is now.

 

I remember the Christmas department at Macy's in my home town used to be quite beautiful but I noticed the last few years it has a "why bother" look about it! I can't speak for the flagship store in NYC as I haven't seen their Christmas dept since 1999 (my last Christmas living in NYC).

[bigvalboy]

Christmas is like life, it is what you make of it.

 

Merry Christmas everyone...

[+ Just Sayin]

what I like most about the holidays is that I'm able to slow down and enjoy the time; we decided not to do a pre-Christmas dinner party this year, and although I somewhat miss it, it is a relief; and we stopped doing Christmas cards and opted for New Year's cards, and that helps too.

[seaboy4hire]

Yay, glad someone else can discuss the Christmas blahs without turning into an all out bloodbath (Seems when I post it, the Grinch and Krampus all come out at once).

 

I've already said it on another website forum. Christmas seems to have faded out back in the 90s. It's not the same now. It used to have more meaning before the economy changed. In addition, when elders who organize big holiday events pass on, it can leave an entire family generation with rather mediocre holidays.

 

Now, Christmas has become "Xmas". Like Seaboy said. It's become commercialized, it's all about spending and numbers, jobs make people work like Santas elves, and the roads become a fucking demolition derby from Black Friday thru the weekend people return to work after New Years. Add in seasonal illnesses, shitty whether, I mean where the fuck do these holly jolly songs come from? Key West? Or Aspen? Maybe Jack Daniels.

 

Also, my religious opinion on Christmas has changed. I don't like the word "Xmas", but I'm learning more and more that it's perfectly okay to not be "into" Christmas. It originated as a Pagan holiday and the scriptures never commanded to celebrate Christmas. There's actually scriptures that reference Christmas, in a negative light. All the holy moly stuff surrounding it is religious, not necessarily a requirement to get into heaven.

 

That said, I'm not anti holiday at all. I think Christmas can be fun and joyous. But I think people put too much expectation on it. And it's because the TV. And the media makes people feel like you have to be either White, straight, married/engaged/coupled up or have a litter of kids. And that's Christmas. Bull fucking shit. Enjoy it for what it is: time for baking and exchanging gifts and taking those paid off days to see loved ones. I also prefer to buy live Poinsettias instead of dead Christmas trees.

 

That said, I'm usually broke and bored around Christmas. I even had a decent holiday savings back in November that I thought would last thru January. But, I've been giving/getting gifts all month and my friends will be here so I ain't mad.

 

I'm not Christian, I don't believe in the whole baby Jesus bull shit. Also most of the time when I post I am doing it on my phone and don't want to type out long meaningless words like Christmas.

[Epigonos]

Ultimately Christmas is what we choose to make it. I’m one of those crazy people, who at seventy-five, still love the entire commercial, crass, vulgar thing that Christmas has become. I start decorating my 1,200 sq. ft. condo the second week of October and that takes a three full weeks. Then the first of November I fly off to Puerto Vallarta with Steven Kesslar for a week of relaxation and fun. Upon my return I begin cooking and baking and preparing for three large dinner parties I give along with several small open houses. My first large party was December 12th and included mostly friends I have made over the years. Tomorrow night I will host my family to an Italian dinner. Christmas Eve I have a really fun party for a group of friends and neighbors who have no place else to go. My guests include two 90 year old widows who live in my condo complex, a couple of former students from dysfunctional families and anybody else in the area who doesn’t have any place else to spend the evening. I traditionally serve beef stroganoff and provide lots of Christmas cheer. We have a great time

 

Christmas today definitely isn’t that same as those of my youth but it has come to be a damn good substitute. Life definitely changes as we age and we can change as well or drop out and live in the past. Even at seventy-five I find I am enjoying the present. I totally love this time of year!

 

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to you all

 

Luv,

 

Epigonos

[jawjateck]

Epigonos, since you love all this cooking and partying and stuff, why don't you add another dinner party to the agenda?

You know, host a bunch of forum "friends", eh?

[jawjateck]

Fortunately, my family agreed to stop the gift swapping ritual 15 years ago, except for gifts to children, and there is only one teenager now in my immediate family. So that's easy. I enjoy Christmas much more now. I escaped the "blues" of the way things used to be, through volunteer work with a charity that is very important to me.

[+ sync]

Kudos to you Epigonos. I wish I had just one iota of your holiday spirit. I ditched the Christmas holiday spirit, as it is intended, many years ago as I saw it deteriorate year after year. The commercial exploitation of Christmas used to begin shortly after Thanksgiving, then shortly before Thanksgiving--this year in my area it began right after Halloween. The only Christmas joy I personally experience is from the beautiful Christmastime music.

[+ WilliamM]

Christmas today definitely isn’t that same as those of my youth but it has come to be a damn good substitute. Life definitely changes as we age and we can change as well or drop out and live in the past

 

Yes, there are certainly people feeling change and pain this year, like the migrants/refugees still unsettled in Europe. And Illegal immigrants in the U.S. who fear they will be hunted if Donald Trump becomes president (one person, Bozo T Clown, has already disappeared).

 

And then there's the sad Bush family......

 

Thanks, BVB for this:

 

• http://www.companyofmen.org/data/avatars/m/8/8655.jpg?1449184521
   
  

1. Christmas is like life, it is what you make of it.
   

[jackjackjack]

I just love the holiday season....the music, decorations, etc. And it's been on the cold side instead of 80° this Christmas which is nice. After all these years with the same partner for decades.... been together since teenagers!!!! ...not always monogamous, of course or I wouldn't be on this site... haha. Don't really exchange gifts.... really don't need anything. . But he cooks a wonderful dinner as my gift and I eat it as his. .

[+ Truereview]

DCguy, back to your post. Your sentiments are similar to mine. I work like a beast and sometimes my focus on work makes me lose focus on my personal life - including reconnecting to stuff I used to love and look forward to such as the holidays. I was so glad to read your second post about prepping for the NYCB's nutcracker. Traditions are a great way to refocus. Believe it or not, my manager actually helped me 2 years ago. She sat me down, told me she valued all the great stuff I did, gave me a fat bonus and proceeded to tell me she wanted me to take all my reserve vacation time. She said she could not afford for me to burn out. I may be making this up, but that's what I picked up in your post...a hint of burnout. What do you think?

 

My holiday traditions to regain my focus and avoid burnout? Vege out, volunteer at a kitchen serving those less fortunate, and coordinating a shopping spree on 12/26 with friends and family - we buy and donate everything to my local LGBT Center.

 

Whatever gets you relaxed and in the mood (and focused away from work) will help you appreciate the holiday season a bit more. I sincerely hope you have a terrific, joyous holiday time...enjoy the ballet!

[dcguy20]

Epigonos, that sounds wonderful!!

 

Truereview, I am touched by your kindness. Thank you!

[Rudynate]

I am feeling a very strong disconnect to the holidays this year. Funny thing is, I know exactly why. The nature of my full-time job seems to always be chaotic between Thanksgiving and the end of the year. I changed jobs a little more than a year ago, and thought things would be different, but it's not. I also work a part-time job on the weekends, which I actually enjoy. I get home from work at a reasonable hour during the week, but I'm so fried, that I don't have the energy to do anything.

 

I managed to roll out and bake some gingerbread men last night, but I can't seem to get motivated to put their faces on!!

 

I'm looking at my Christmas cards and wonder if this is the year that none get sent. I find I'm receiving less and less cards with each passing year. I put up a small tree right after Thanksgiving. If I hadn't done it then, it probably wouldn't have gone up.

 

I'm leaving on Sunday for a week to spend the holiday with my family.

 

How does one circumvent the day-to-day, and muster up the energy to enjoy the things they should. This is definitely not the blues (which I'm familiar with), it's more like STOP, when did things get so crazy?!

 

 

I completely opt out of Christmas from time to time. It's really freeing. Then when you go ahead and do all the Christmas stuff, you know you're doing it by choice.

[+ honcho]

I seem to recall Rudy Nate saying that he might be attending midnight mass at Grace Cathedral (Episcopal) this

year, while I'm going to be occupied being a musician at a midnight mass in a large catholic church elsewhere in

the city (and have been invited at this one for about 10 years).

 

I can see with my own eyes that there are people for whom this is a spiritual exercise, and feel honored and moved

that I am asked to assist in their observances (being a non-believing, but respectful personal all of whose ancestry

is Jewish).

[LADoug1]

I'm an atheist who was brought up Jewish. I've come to dislike the holiday season more and more. The endless XMAS music played on the radio drives me insane. Last year I had an outpatient surgical procedure on December 23rd where I was awake but slightly sedated. When they rolled me into the operating room Burl Ives was singing "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas". I wanted them to turn it off but was too afraid to make them mad since they were going to be sticking needles into my neck for injections. Thank god for the sedation. I'll never forget that song. It will haunt me until I die. LOL.

[geminibear]

I'm an atheist who was brought up Jewish. Thank god for the sedation. LOL.

Not sure of the protocol but are atheists supposed to "thank god" for anything?

[Rudynate]

I seem to recall Rudy Nate saying that he might be attending midnight mass at Grace Cathedral (Episcopal) this

year, while I'm going to be occupied being a musician at a midnight mass in a large catholic church elsewhere in

the city (and have been invited at this one for about 10 years).

 

I can see with my own eyes that there are people for whom this is a spiritual exercise, and feel honored and moved

that I am asked to assist in their observances (being a non-believing, but respectful personal all of whose ancestry

is Jewish).

 

 

Honcho - you play at Our Lady Maytag?

 

(The RC cathedral, St. Mary's, was designed and built in the late 60's and bears an unfortunate resemblance to the agitator in a top-load washing machine, so it has become known, at least among those clever gays, as "Our Lady Maytag.")

[mmk123]

as I get old I go through phases when it comes to the holidays. The past few years I did decorate but this year I did not. There just was not anything in me that really felt like pulling anything out and putting stuff up. Some of my friends say it is because I work in retail (I work manage inventory and operations for a high end retail store) but that is not the case (in my job I deal with the retail consumer maybe 25 percent of the time). The only reason I feel I do go through the Christmas motions is because my mother still enjoys christmas quite a bit and it would break her heart if I just bugged out completely. I do have to say though that if she would pass away (she is only 70 so she is not that old) I would just treat this day as any other day.