How has hiring changed you?

[Wolfer]

So I was inspired by the other thread, about asking how escorting has changed the escorts. So I pose this question to my fellow clients. What kinds of positive effects has hiring had on you?

 

For me I can certainly say that I've been able to get more in touch with my own body. I am discovering a lot of things about myself, both with sexual preferences and related to human contact in general.

I'm discovering that I'm not the sex crazed maniac I always wondered I would be if I'd be single (I was in a monogamous relationship from when I was 17 till 30 years old).

I've genuinely, for the first time ever, really been able to enjoy sex on such a level as to feel carefree and satisfied.

 

Things that have surprised me about myself: I actually like having an hour of full-on sex. Come through in the door, clothes flying instantly. Before I started, I always thought I would want to talk, get to know the guy, also have a bit of a social experience.

Having said that, great sex alone (another surprise after the previous realization) isn't enough to make me keep coming back to the same escort. I've found I'm more excited to go back to a guy with whom the sex may be good, not great, but with whom there's a more personal connection.

Unless I want to try out new sex stuff, then suddenly I'm excited again to go back to the guy who I only have great sex with. I find it all very interesting to observe my thought and behavioural patterns here. I'm discovering so much about myself! And I like it!

 

I've also been more and more allowing myself to actually experience pleasure and satisfaction. I've always been a responsible person, and with that I always felt I shouldn't enjoy myself, because then I wasn't working hard or being responsible, you know? (Totally crooked logic, obviously) But hiring has opened me up to enjoying myself and making it all about my own pleasure without feeling guilt or remorse. I'm realizing that I'm worthy of having great enjoyment and great experiences.

The first few hires I was super worried the other guy might not be enjoying himself and I'd forego some of my own enjoyment because of that. Now I'm all like "You pamper me, honey " Of course, I'm still a mindful and sensitive lover! I still want the other guy to enjoy himself! But I don't worry about it anymore to the point that it nullifies my enjoyment.

 

What I don't know is if that it's actually making me better at sex... I don't know. I haven't actually had sex in a regular hookup capacity, so I have no reference to compare it with. Because I don't have a lot of experience in having sex, it was obvious that the guys were being very very friendly and patient with my fumbling about. I hope I get better at it. It's just such a whirlwind, having sex! I have no time to think, hahaha. I know people here say "pay attention to cues, body language, breath, moans", but there's so much going on, half the time I don't know where my own two heads are!

[+ purplekow]

I don't know if I have been changed for the better, but I have been changed for good.

[Wolfer]

I don't know if I have been changed for the better, but I have been changed for good.

Love that song and I would add that they do, in the end, sing "I do believe I have been changed for the better"

[TruHart1]

I've found that hiring has increased my self-confidence 100-fold! I come from a background of feeling I would always be worshipping beautiful, alpha males from a distance. I certainly never had sex with the type I was super attracted to until I began hiring!

 

Finding this hobby was like finding a specialty store where the shopping experience was all about ME! So many sexual experiences seemed completely unreachable during most of my life, with low self-esteem and body issues (plus age issues as time went on!!) being with me from puberty on!

 

I have to compare my first experience with an escort to the Cinderella story since he was a veritable prince of a man who was actually turned on both physically and mentally by me in all my un-remarkability at that time of my life. He took me to the ball, swept me off my feet and totally dedicated himself to my pleasure, making me feel so very special!

 

TruHart1

[Moneymike68]

Hiring has allowed me to explore my gay side with boys that I otherwise wouldn't be able to run into. I love younger guys but I refuse to be the older man at the bars preying on boys just trying to have fun. Through my escort use I get to explore my sexuality with some of the hottest boys I've ever seen, and even develop friendships with some of them. I also don't feel like I'm taking advantage of anyone with my domination kink due to the rules and limits being set in place way beforehand. That business aspect allows me to really let loose in the bedroom and has helped relieve the tension/resentment I used to have towards my wife for not wanting to explore certain kinks with me.

[+ carlos45]

I've gotten to explore role-play wehn I hired escorts.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I've been exposed to much more of the gay social life. I've attended gay bars and stayed at gay resorts that I never would have done before. Thanks to the guys that have helped me become more comfortable in these environments.

[Rudynate]

I refuse to be the older man at the bars preying on boys just trying to have fun.

 

But would you prey on them? An older man seeking out younger men as sex partners isn't predatory per se. That's another one of those sex-negative myths that needs to be examined. It could be predatory, if you forced yourself on them, or drugged them or lied to them, etc., etc. There really are younger men out there who are attracted to men a great deal older than they are. A friend of mine has a partner who is 30 years younger than he is, and he isn't keeping the young guy or anything like that. The young partner sometimes points somebody out to me that makes him really hard. Invariably, my reaction is "That old thing?!"

[Rudynate]

It's made me a better lay. The possibility has occurred to me recently of deliberately developing a sort of sex coach/mentor relationship with one guy to refine my skill as a lover.

[curiousnomore]

I am more confident when interacting with people I don't know. My "body issues" are gone. And, most importantly, I have learned that my dick is much larger than average! Automatic confidence boost!

[geminibear]

most importantly, I have learned that my dick is much larger than average! Automatic confidence boost!

 

WINNING!!!!

[+ Truereview]

Both my heart and heads have grown in unexpected ways

[+ Worthington45]

My guy - who I've been seeing for 5 solid years now (saw him again this past weekend) - took the time and patiently taught me how to enjoy being touched, how to open mouth kiss (told me I'd become great at it recently), to take my formidable guard down and be myself, and to have fun without debilitating apprehension. Remarkable personal growth taught by a remarkable person who I consider a very good friend regardless of the "business" aspect of our dealings. Nobody who just goes through the motions for dollars could ever be like this guy was. And is.