Have I Just Hired for the Last Time?

[nynakedtop]

Did I just hire for the last time? Somehow (mind you I am not sure) I think so.

 

Despair sets in. I met up today with a member of the “community” that has joined the migration from RB to A4A. His ad there was nice. It’s not that this guy was “bad” (I have, thankfully, never had a situation that I would call bad – as in threatening, dangerous, abusive, etc.). He was just mediocre…. Boring…. Non-engaged… in fact, for the 35 MINUTES (!!) barely there at all. And I have had a string of such encounters lately. Again, not bad…. But definitely not good. Just obnoxiously mediocre. And you know what? A person who delivers an obnoxiously mediocre product/service is a thief. Would I tolerate this from a hotel? A car rental agency? I think not! And I will not be stolen from again.

 

I reflect: are my expectations too high? I can absolutely say that they are not. I am not demanding, I am not socially awkward, sketchy… I never bargain over prices... I am not (to the best of my knowledge) obnoxious or inapproproate.... So why I am spending money and not getting what I want. When I consider that gentlemen who offer such services charge from double to five times more than my personal coach at the gym, and that I consistently leave the gym feeling awesome, it is time for me to take a look at myself and do the right thing.

 

So, guys, am I alone feeling this way? I hope not, because if I am then I am the suspect here. I will re-commit to the gym, continue to seek my pleasures in non-commercial venues (which, thankfully, due to good diet, genes, whatever I still find satisfaction in…) And quietly go my way.

 

 

 

Thanks for putting up with my self-indulgent spiel. Again: am I committing some cardinal error here – I do not hire often, but when I do, all I want is for it to have been a memorable experience.

[Jock123]

From the Clients I've spoken with there seems to be a trend In mediocore Encounters lately. I'm not sure if Its the Economy springing up Random guys who come and go not taken this seriously or what. But a true professional at least makes an effort. ESPECIALLY if as You said You're usually a laid back, go with the flow kind of guy. Unfortunately because of this some clients are becoming skeptical in general. Some have had such bad experiences that there Is this underlying distrust until the night(or few hours) is over. Those who take this seriously end up paying for their bad experiences In the past. I make it my mission to do my best. You can be the most athletic, engaging escort out there and still...You'll come across someone who isnt satisfied for one reason or another. Not every encounter is going to be off the wall Fantastic. I've met clients who are the same way. The attitude is "I'm paying you, So you do all the work" . Its like pulling teeth to have a decent conversation. LUCKY its not the norm, and rare, I mean most people make an effort to at least get to know you etc. Sorry for my rant(I just had Coffee;)) But Id say dont let these past experiences make You stop completely. There are some good guys out there. Meet every guy with a fresh attitude and at least give him a chance. Afterall we all operate differently.

[+ Truereview]

Don't give up! It may be a bad string of so-so luck. Also, don't you go self examining! Here is my 2 cents: Once I try enough of what the service industry offers, I typically select specific hotel chains, restaurants, cities, airlines with which I develop mutually satisfying experiences. Same goes with companions, find a couple that you enjoy ( a lot) & give them an opportunity to gain your repeat business. You will be amazed at what cool experiences will ensue. Furthermore, I'm sure you will find plenty of folks here willing to refer you someone who knocked their socks off. Also, I never really had luck with A4A. Additionally, I suggest reading daddyreviews daily reviews religiously...I found amazing partners after watching the patterns in the reviews. Good luck!

[Rudynate]

You can't discount the significant human factor in this business. If you can't live with it, opting out might be a reasonable thing to do. I echo what Truereview said. I'm not interested in shopping around a lot. I'd rather have a small number of guys that I know and like and keep going back to.

[Dave]

nynaked top: you once wrote on the forum that you "pass by the guy with mega-positive numbers of reviews"

maybe that's why this hasnt't been working out for you?

 

I'm sure there will be someone who's ready to tell me how wrong I am on this forum, but I'd assert that there's a reason why guys have "mega-positive reviews". And it's not because they're paying people to write them, or are writing them themselves under pseudonyms.

[+ Funguy]

Once i discovered Daddy's REVIEWS, there was no turning back. I always will pick someone who has been reviewed over a non-reviewed guy. Those with large numbers of great reviews must have something that others may not have - a great following because of great service.

I'm simply not going to waste my short-on-available free time and money on a crap shoot. And there are PLENTY of guys available in most of the country. If you have trouble finding them, save your money until you do find one or come onto the forum and ask for recommendations.

I haven't had any less than outstanding guys except for my first few hires before I knew about this site.

 

Good luck...they are out there!

[marylander1940]

Did I just hire for the last time? Somehow (mind you I am not sure) I think so.

 

Despair sets in. I met up today with a member of the “community” that has joined the migration from RB to A4A. His ad there was nice. It’s not that this guy was “bad” (I have, thankfully, never had a situation that I would call bad – as in threatening, dangerous, abusive, etc.). He was just mediocre…. Boring…. Non-engaged… in fact, for the 35 MINUTES (!!) barely there at all. And I have had a string of such encounters lately. Again, not bad…. But definitely not good. Just obnoxiously mediocre. And you know what? A person who delivers an obnoxiously mediocre product/service is a thief. Would I tolerate this from a hotel? A car rental agency? I think not! And I will not be stolen from again.

 

I reflect: are my expectations too high? I can absolutely say that they are not. I am not demanding, I am not socially awkward, sketchy… I never bargain over prices... I am not (to the best of my knowledge) obnoxious or inapproproate.... So why I am spending money and not getting what I want. When I consider that gentlemen who offer such services charge from double to five times more than my personal coach at the gym, and that I consistently leave the gym feeling awesome, it is time for me to take a look at myself and do the right thing.

 

So, guys, am I alone feeling this way? I hope not, because if I am then I am the suspect here. I will re-commit to the gym, continue to seek my pleasures in non-commercial venues (which, thankfully, due to good diet, genes, whatever I still find satisfaction in…) And quietly go my way.

 

 

 

Thanks for putting up with my self-indulgent spiel. Again: am I committing some cardinal error here – I do not hire often, but when I do, all I want is for it to have been a memorable experience.

 

Did you talk to the escort about your expectations?

 

Did you tell him you weren't happy with the encounter?

 

Did you make any suggestions during the encounter like for example telling the escort: "my nipples aren't sensitive but my balls are" or "I'd rather use my lubricant instead of yours".

 

Will you write a review about him?

 

I think if you have done the first 3 things I mentioned, you wouldn't have the need to post all of this about your emotions, and one more thing... you know you haven't hired for the last time.

[Rudynate]

nynaked top: you once wrote on the forum that you "pass by the guy with mega-positive numbers of reviews"

maybe that's why this hasnt't been working out for you?

 

I'm sure there will be someone who's ready to tell me how wrong I am on this forum, but I'd assert that there's a reason why guys have "mega-positive reviews". And it's not because they're paying people to write them, or are writing them themselves under pseudonyms.

 

 

That's true. When I read the OP's post, I was asking myself why I don't feel the same way. I have had great experiences. It's because I hire guys with great reviews.

[TruHart1]

It's a interesting question, nynakedtop. I don't really think about it very much but I do wonder once in a while if I hadn't had a truly phenomenal first hire almost 5 years ago, would I have decided not to continue hiring had my first escort had been "just mediocre?"

 

For me, my first ever hire (Ares in NYC) opened my eyes and my mind to so many new and myriad possibilities I'd never even dreamed of before I hired him! Everyone I've hired since then has, with maybe 3 or 4 exceptions, (and those were "just" mediocre, much as you describe, never really BAD or dangerous!) each been another eye-opening experience for me!

 

I found Ares through reading Daddy's Reviews regularly and have since chosen every other new hire by the same sort of vetting process: Daddy's reviews or Cruising for Escorts reviews plus cross checking ad phone numbers. As Truereview points out, if you pay attention to the patterns in the reviews of certain escorts, you will seldom go wrong in who you decide to hire.

 

I've never hired anyone from A4A. It seems much like the crap shoot of CL or BP to me. You may find that diamond in the rough, but it's the exception and never the rule! Good reviews may not always guarantee that you will have the same great experience the "mega reviews" describe, but the odds are certainly skewed more positively than if you are hiring someone who has no reviews at all!

 

JMHO

 

TruHart1

[mattr]

I too have had some mediocre experiences but I would say that it wasn't that the escort wasn't trying or engaged. I think I need to be more careful in choosing an escort that better aligns with my desires and then I need to more clearly communicate those desires to the man in question.

[rocky]

I will say from an area that has very low choices in the escort services, I agree however that those available are lackluster at best. And, I will say my recent experiences in Fort Lauderdale and Philly were the same. I'm always honest up front, tell them about me and expectations. The availability anymore of quality service providers seems to have disappeared from everything from an hour visit to me wanting to find someone to cruise. It's a bit sad.

[down_to_business]

There can be so many different areas of where things can, will or do go wrong. It could be the self-fulfilling prophecy. It could be the people you are hiring. It could even be you as in maybe you are just really not that much into hiring any more.

 

There is not going to be any one size fits all solution to your issue.

 

While I can't give you a solution to your specific issue, I can give you an example that would be applicable in analysis of someone more similar to me. I go through a string of only hiring well reviewed escorts. I have meetings that go fine, no problems, no thefts, injuries, injustices, misrepresentations. But for some reason I am not thrilled at the end of the appointments? Why? These men were engaging, professional, performed well. ... Skip to the psycho babble part... In the end, I am a person who requires a strong physical attraction to enjoy the sexual connection. I didn't choose this aspect of my self, it just is what it is. While I was able to establish a mental connection with these amazing, well-reviewed escorts, I completely neglected the just as important aspect of physical attraction important to me and therefore, my escort experience ended in mediocrity. That isn't their fault, that isn't my fault, except for the fact that I didn't pay attention to what was truly important to me when making the ultimate hiring decision.

 

Again, I am not saying that is your issue, or that it is even close to your issue, but instead to try and take a good critical internal look at yourself and why you aren't enjoying these encounters and then determine if its them, if its you, or if its something else.

 

Good luck!

[+ WilliamM]

Did I just hire for the last time? Somehow (mind you I am not sure) I think so.

 

I have read all the responses so far. I was going to make many of the same suggestions. But now, after reading your first two sentences again, maybe it is time to stop hiring. Only you will know. My suggestion is to trust your instincts.

 

Since it's your decision, you might want to try again in three-six months. Whatever you do, I wish you the best.

 

William

[Rudynate]

. In the end, I am a person who requires a strong physical attraction to enjoy the sexual connection. I didn't choose this aspect of my self, it just is what it is.

 

LMFAO!! I thought that was why everybody hired. Of course I like nice. Of course I like intelligent. Of course I like connection. But a precondition to it all is that I think the guy is damn hot.

[+ purplekow]

It's a interesting question, nynakedtop. I don't really think about it very much but I do wonder once in a while if I hadn't had a truly phenomenal first hire almost 5 years ago, would I have decided not to continue hiring had my first escort had been "just mediocre?"

 

For me, my first ever hire (Ares in NYC) opened my eyes and my mind to so many new and myriad possibilities I'd never even dreamed of before I hired him! Everyone I've hired since then has, with maybe 3 or 4 exceptions, (and those were "just" mediocre, much as you describe, never really BAD or dangerous!) each been another eye-opening experience for me!

 

I found Ares through reading Daddy's Reviews regularly and have since chosen every other new hire by the same sort of vetting process: Daddy's reviews or Cruising for Escorts reviews plus cross checking ad phone numbers. As Truereview points out, if you pay attention to the patterns in the reviews of certain escorts, you will seldom go wrong in who you decide to hire.

 

I've never hired anyone from A4A. It seems much like the crap shoot of CL or BP to me. You may find that diamond in the rough, but it's the exception and never the rule! Good reviews may not always guarantee that you will have the same great experience the "mega reviews" describe, but the odds are certainly skewed more positively than if you are hiring someone who has no reviews at all!

 

JMHO

 

TruHart1

It's a interesting question, nynakedtop. I don't really think about it very much but I do wonder once in a while if I hadn't had a truly phenomenal first hire almost 5 years ago, would I have decided not to continue hiring had my first escort had been "just mediocre?"

 

For me, my first ever hire (Ares in NYC) opened my eyes and my mind to so many new and myriad possibilities I'd never even dreamed of before I hired him! Everyone I've hired since then has, with maybe 3 or 4 exceptions, (and those were "just" mediocre, much as you describe, never really BAD or dangerous!) each been another eye-opening experience for me!

 

I found Ares through reading Daddy's Reviews regularly and have since chosen every other new hire by the same sort of vetting process: Daddy's reviews or Cruising for Escorts reviews plus cross checking ad phone numbers. As Truereview points out, if you pay attention to the patterns in the reviews of certain escorts, you will seldom go wrong in who you decide to hire.

 

I've never hired anyone from A4A. It seems much like the crap shoot of CL or BP to me. You may find that diamond in the rough, but it's the exception and never the rule! Good reviews may not always guarantee that you will have the same great experience the "mega reviews" describe, but the odds are certainly skewed more positively than if you are hiring someone who has no reviews at all!

 

JMHO

 

TruHart1

This is an interesting aspect of hiring. I hired Areas once. He did not knock my socks off and I have not hired him again. Yet for TruHart1 he was a great hire. Great escorts have bad days. Mediocre escorts have great days. If you are looking for incredible sex, you need to find someone who knows that your left nipple is very sensitive and your right nipple is too sensitive. You need to find someone who knows just how deep to push into you (whether he is pushing his cock into you or pushing himself into your cock.)You need to a find a man with a body that always turns you on and who has a mind that challenges you intellectually and who has the imagination to conceive of sexual delights which bring you to ecstasy.

You want great sex, you need to invest some time with a man who starts off great and then, with time invested in your partnership, brings you to amazing.

It is rare to get amazing right off the bat. But if you start at :That was hot" you and he can get to amazing. Great sex is not only having a great partner, it is also being a great partner. Are you a great partner? Have you done your share to bring variety and fun and kinkiness and beauty and connectedness to your sexual encounters.

Hey, if you want a great orgasm, masturbate. You want great sex, you need to work at it.

So DO YOU WANT GREAT SEX? WORK AT IT.

[+ WilliamM]

He was just mediocre…. Boring…. Non-engaged… in fact, for the 35 MINUTES (!!) barely there at all. And I have had a string of such encounters lately. Again, not bad…. But definitely not good. Just obnoxiously mediocre. And you know what? A person who delivers an obnoxiously mediocre product/service is a thief. Would I tolerate this from a hotel? A car rental agency? I think not! And I will not be stolen from again.

 

It is rare to get amazing right off the bat. But if you start at :That was hot" you and he can get to amazing. Great sex is not only having a great partner, it is also being a great partner. Are you a great partner? Have you done your share to bring variety and fun and kinkiness and beauty and connectedness to your sexual encounters

 

PK: That's excellent advice, but I do not know how it applies to nynakedtop. "Boring...Non-engaged...in fact, for the 35 MINUTES (!!) barely there at all" applies to one of my hires also. My guy was on the way to a birthday party after our session. It did not stop me from hiring. But, I understand nynakedtop's frustration.

[+ purplekow]

Hey William. I believe you took that section out of the context of accepting that good escorts have bad days, mediocre escorts have great days. So, one way to insure great sex is to be a great partner and to establish an ongoing relationship with escorts which is imaginatively sexual; satisfyingly physical and challenging intellectually.

[Newly]

I couldn't agree more with nakedtop. Reviews seem to be more and more worthless. My last experience with a very well reviewed Seattle escort is as follows. Set up a time, stay at an expensive (and quite frankly crappy hotel) based on his recommendation, and get a text message one hour before we were supposed to meet saying that he was sick. Of course people get sick but no phone call, no offer to rebook, nothing. It certainly couldn't have been anything I said or did because our only communication was through a few text messages setting up a time and place - this particular person seemed to have an aversion to phone calls. Prior to that I have been amazed at the number of fakes and flakes that have tons of great reviews. I took the money I was going to spend on this fool and spent it on my trainer who is an incredibly sweet kid, works really hard to get me in shape and is working like a dog at a real job instead of trying to make an easy buck and couldn't be happier. Quite frankly, with the number of hook up apps and the amount of work it takes to set up an appointment with a "professional" why pay for it? Even if you get your kicks from paying you're better off finding someone on backpage - you'll have the same odds of finding a good match and you'll pay a fraction of what they're asking for.

[+ WilliamM]

Hey William. I believe you took that section out of the context of accepting that good escorts have bad days, mediocre escorts have great days. So, one way to insure great sex is to be a great partner and to establish an ongoing relationship with escorts which is imaginatively sexual; satisfyingly physical and challenging intellectually.

 

Sorry, PK. I do agree that if you have a long relationship with an escort, the few bad days will be balenced with many good days.

[+ WmClarke]

I couldn't agree more with nakedtop. Reviews seem to be more and more worthless.

That's why it's important to analyze the reviews. Were they all first time reviewers? Are they recent?

 

It's also important to ask in The Deli section here. You will get more current info, plus info from clients who did not submit reviews (especially negative ones) or had a no-show experience. I have a couple guys on my "to meet" list that people private messaged me about which has led to me taking them off my wish list.

[marylander1940]

I couldn't agree more with nakedtop. Reviews seem to be more and more worthless. My last experience with a very well reviewed Seattle escort is as follows. Set up a time, stay at an expensive (and quite frankly crappy hotel) based on his recommendation, and get a text message one hour before we were supposed to meet saying that he was sick. Of course people get sick but no phone call, no offer to rebook, nothing. It certainly couldn't have been anything I said or did because our only communication was through a few text messages setting up a time and place - this particular person seemed to have an aversion to phone calls. Prior to that I have been amazed at the number of fakes and flakes that have tons of great reviews. I took the money I was going to spend on this fool and spent it on my trainer who is an incredibly sweet kid, works really hard to get me in shape and is working like a dog at a real job instead of trying to make an easy buck and couldn't be happier. Quite frankly, with the number of hook up apps and the amount of work it takes to set up an appointment with a "professional" why pay for it? Even if you get your kicks from paying you're better off finding someone on backpage - you'll have the same odds of finding a good match and you'll pay a fraction of what they're asking for.

 

I've written reviews, I read reviews before hiring, and I make sure to talk for a couple of minutes to get a feeling and see if the guy is compatible. I also don't hire allegedly "straight guys" as some of you enjoy so much doing, because I'm into a BF kind of experience.

 

Not only many escorts but also a lot of clients hate talking on the phone and stick to texting for all kinds of communications. May I remind yinz that flakes happen both sides of the road, escorts and clients flake too.

 

Why so much negativity about hiring all of the sudden?

 

I'm not a psychologist but "I'll betcha" the OP will be hiring soon, once you've tried this you can't stop it, unless you run out of money.

From the subject to a lot of the postings the Déjà vu sounds like one more empty threat: "I'll never post in the gallery again", "I won't come back to the forum", etc. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard it on here in my pocket...

 

One more thing: backpage and craigslist? Seriously, still looking for the diamond in the rough, the starving college student who doesn't want you to write a review because it brings too much publicity and he might get caught... Backpage is asking to get mugged, stay away from it.

[+ Gar1eth]

The first thing you have to ask is do you still like hiring. Second-and I'm not criticizing-but is it the guys you are picking out? Are they possibly on the very young side or newbies to the business? While there's no guarantee that older escorts make the best escorts, I'm usually leery of guys from the ages of 18-23 or so.

 

But it may not be any of those things-as you say it is a series of disinterested escorts-maybe it is just a bad patch of hiring for you.

 

Gman

[+ Lance_Navarro]

Did I just hire for the last time? Somehow (mind you I am not sure) I think so.

 

Despair sets in. I met up today with a member of the “community” that has joined the migration from RB to A4A. His ad there was nice. It’s not that this guy was “bad” (I have, thankfully, never had a situation that I would call bad – as in threatening, dangerous, abusive, etc.). He was just mediocre…. Boring…. Non-engaged… in fact, for the 35 MINUTES (!!) barely there at all. And I have had a string of such encounters lately. Again, not bad…. But definitely not good. Just obnoxiously mediocre. And you know what? A person who delivers an obnoxiously mediocre product/service is a thief. Would I tolerate this from a hotel? A car rental agency? I think not! And I will not be stolen from again.

 

I reflect: are my expectations too high? I can absolutely say that they are not. I am not demanding, I am not socially awkward, sketchy… I never bargain over prices... I am not (to the best of my knowledge) obnoxious or inapproproate.... So why I am spending money and not getting what I want. When I consider that gentlemen who offer such services charge from double to five times more than my personal coach at the gym, and that I consistently leave the gym feeling awesome, it is time for me to take a look at myself and do the right thing.

 

So, guys, am I alone feeling this way? I hope not, because if I am then I am the suspect here. I will re-commit to the gym, continue to seek my pleasures in non-commercial venues (which, thankfully, due to good diet, genes, whatever I still find satisfaction in…) And quietly go my way.

 

 

 

Thanks for putting up with my self-indulgent spiel. Again: am I committing some cardinal error here – I do not hire often, but when I do, all I want is for it to have been a memorable experience.

 

Don't give up on us! I have an ad on A4A, and though I get very little business from it in SF, in other cities I do very well. It does annoy me that they have done away with their escort category and turned them all into Masseur ads, but I understand their concern. There is no good or bad website to find good guys. Did the guy have reviews on here? Are you in a city/town with limited options? I agree that anyone can have an off day, but speaking for myself, when Im with a client, I put anything in life that might be stressful out of my head and focus entirely on the two of us. I don't even have to try, it just happens automatically, part of what I love about my work is how therapeutic it is for both me and my client.

 

Again, I hope that your disappointment won't be the norm and that you have exceptional experiences in the future.

[jimboivyo]

reckon this header should be up for most dramatic of the year

 

you're playing in game that's not regulated and for now is illegal. you're going to hit rough patches. just keep moving on.

 

if you can't handle the bad, you're not ever going to get to the good

[+ WilliamM]

I'm not a psychologist but "I'll betcha" the OP will be hiring soon, once you've tried this you can't stop it, unless you run out of money.

 

I almost never disagree with you, Marylander. But I am not as sure as you on, "once you've tried this you can't stop, unless you run out of money." I do strongly agree about people who say they will never post here again...or a similar declaration.

 

William

 

 

The first thing you have to ask is do you still like hiring. Second-and I'm not criticizing-but is it the guys you are picking out? Are they possibly on the very young side or newbies to the business? While there's no guarantee that older escorts make the best escorts, I'm usually leery of guys from the ages of 18-23 or so.

 

But it may not be any of those things-as you say it is a series of disinterested escorts-maybe it is just a bad patch of hiring for you.

 

Excellent post, Gman.

 

William