Fuck all day and not cum...

[gregkidman]

If you get hardons and you fuck/masturbate/get sucked but not cum, does that cause more spontaneous erections when you are not in a sexual situation? (Does it make you more horny?) I am sure lots of escorts fuck/get sucked but not cum and would know how their bodies are reacting. Hopefully many escorts will answer this post.

 

The reason that I am asking is because whenever a guy touches me, I do not rise to the occasion. I am always impressed by guys where I just touch them or kiss them or whatever and they instantly get a hardon. But when it is done to me, nothing really happens.

 

I know that I can take viagra or whatever, but that kills the spontaneity of the situation. For example -- I would be in a bar, and I make out with someone. We don't neccessarily end up in a bedroom -- the fun was in the making out in the bar -- this is not worth a viagra. It would be a thrill to slip a hand through his pants and feel his erection and I would want him to feel my erection but I would still be soft!

 

Is there some vitamins that I should take? Like zinc or vitamin E? I don't believe in the horny goat weed or its imitations. From what I gather from the internet, either they don't work or they DO work but the body builds a tolerance over time and stop working unless you take more.

 

Or practice having erections at regular intervals throughout the day, so that over time, the plumbing are less clogged and become more responsive? I want my dick to be less shy to external stimuli! Is this practice idea a practical one?

 

I am 37 years old if that makes a difference to this post.

 

Cheers,

Greg

[Rick Munroe]

>We don't neccessarily end up

>in a bedroom -- the fun was in the making out in the bar --

>this is not worth a viagra. It would be a thrill to slip a

>hand through his pants and feel his erection and I would want

>him to feel my erection but I would still be soft!

 

Greg, I think some guys are just that way (they're usually called latino ) and some aren't (they're usually called "everyone else") so I'm not sure there are any exercises to do, other than the kegel for making your orgasms more powerful. I know it's probably frustrating but I wouldn't worry about it. Just enjoy getting the other guy hard. }(

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>I am 37 years old if that makes a difference to this post.

 

I'm afraid it does, Greg. The deadline for completing your post was one minute before your 36th birthday. There was a grace period, but it's expired. This thread is probably going to be deleted any minute now, unless the moderators get a little payola pronto.

 

(Just kidding. I know you were just letting us know that you're young and healthy and that this seemingly shouldn't be a physical issue.)

 

You have to remember that there's a bit of a rivalry at work between the brain and the penis. The mind is the biggest sex organ, and penises (and many size queens) do not -- NOT! -- like being reminded of that fact. What this means is that the mind and the penis cannot both be stiff at the same time, or the penis will get a complex. The penis is so neurotic about this that, generally speaking, he will only get stiff when the mind is relaxed. The most common exception to this are those no-Viagra-required erections attained with the greatest of ease in inappropriate situations, which is the penis's second favorite way of pissing the mind off. His favorite way, as you already know, is failing to get hard in appropriate situations.

 

Those guys getting those impressive instant hard-ons probably aren't willing them to happen; I'll bet if they tried their penises would stage a sit-down strike on the spot. I think some of it could be physical -- something to do with how the nerve endings for some guys work down there? -- but a lot of it is that they are probably guys whose minds are very, very relaxed, especially vis-a-vis sexuality. (Rick's Latino theory would not appear to conflict with either explanation or a combination thereof, all appropriate disclaimers about stereotypes notwithstanding. )

 

Getting hard all day and not cumming does make you horny; I can vouch for that. I don't necessarily know that it leads to the kinds of situational hard-ons you're describing. Sometimes they do happen to me, but it's funny: I have an easier time recalling who I was with when they happened than whether or not I'd been getting hard and not cumming that day.

 

Can't hurt to experiment, I'd say. Just remember that the rat is always right, as they say. And that the presence of the experiment's observer (in this case, your mind), can and does affect the outcome. So if your mind's hung up and nervous about this, that might tend to influence the outcome of the experiment in a way that you wouldn't like.

[guptasa1]

I'm researching this and may try some supplements just for the fun of it. (I don't have a specific problem, but who doesn't want harder hardons, more semen, and more powerful orgams/ejaculations? LOL.) Zinc and Vitamin E are a very good start actually. Don't overdo it with the zinc, however. More than 100 mg of zinc is thought to be linked to prostate cancer, though, so be careful there (NOTE: 100 mg is NOT the same as 100% - I made that mistake and panicked once since I'm taking quite a bit more than 100% but not even close to 100 mg). Personally, I may try a lot of different things (even in combination) to see what works for me.

 

I'm a big believer in GNC's products, so some things you might want to check out either by themselves or as a combination (and yes, some are herbal and involve Horny Goat Weed or other herbs)...I've only researched the GNC mainly since I know some brands aren't very trustworthy, so all of these products are the GNC version (save one I marked). One thing I like about the GNC products is they have a good quantity of things in them (unlike some supplements that have minute quantities of stuff), and I think they make sure their potency is up there. All this stuff is available at drugstore.com I'm not at all affiliated with them (GNC or drugstore) - just had good experiences and would try them first.

 

- ArginMax (heard GOOD, good things about this one...including some scientific studies with impressive results - it's the first one I want to try simply because I think it's probably one of the most reputable products out there, and I think even alone it has a lot of potential).

 

- Horny Goat Weed. Heard it works well, especially with the ArginMax.

 

- Maca Man. Has Maca Root in it among a lot of other stuff (some redundant, but extra quantities of most of this stuff should be safe). Again, heard good things about what it can do.

 

- Some other separate (or higher quantity) supplements I'm interested in: Damiana Leaf, Ginseng, Gingko Biloba, Tribulus Terrestris (Puncture Vine...not available from GNC but available from TwinLab), and Coenzyme Q-10. All of these are very well-reputed, but it's harder to find them in combination supplements in sufficient quantity, especially if sticking to just the GNC supplements.

 

Gingko Biloba Note: This herb is reputed to help counter the sexual side effects of antidepressants (SSRI's) for some people. My dance with antidepressants was very short-lived, but I was very interested in it because of this alleged property.

 

- Some supplements you may NOT want...either avoiding altogether or limiting: Yohimbe (can raise blood pressure and have undesirable side effects...there's a little bit in the Maca Man, but not a lot...it is reputed to work well though...just don't exceed 9 mg of ACTIVE Yohimbie...there's 5 in the Maca Man), St. John's Wort (can have the opposite effect and impair sexual functioning...plus it has some other problems such as increased photosensitivity to light for skin and eyes in some people and interaction with a LOT of drugs, impairing their ability to work...possibly vitamins and herbs too - I don't know).

 

Just thought you might be interested. All of this stuff (the non-dangerous stuff) together would be very pricey, but I have to admit I'm curious what it would all do together (if it would be safe...near as I can tell it wouldn't be dangerous, but it might be a bit much for one's systems to take at once - I really don't know). Still, the right combination of stuff might have some really good results. I plan to a least try the ArginMax and Horny Goat Weed together. Who knows - I might try it all together for a brief time just to see what it does. LOL. But I'm nuts. =oP

[+ glutes]

>- Horny Goat Weed. Heard it works well, especially with the

>ArginMax.

>

 

Say what?? I'm checking this out tomorrow.

[Guest Dan]

The best cure is to take 3 days off from any form of sex, including wanking. That'll take care of it!

 

Dan Dare

[jackhammer91406]

Greg,

Since Franco has not chimed in, I suppose someone should cover for him.

It depends

Seriously,

There are some things that are unknown from your post. I am assuming that you can get an erection, but that during initial "make out" contact, 'lil Greg is not always reliable. If that is the case, two things:

If you are a smoker, Smoking can cause irregular erections I am told.

The other thing I would mention is the location of the activity you described. Just as some guys respond to a perceived thrill in exploring passion in dangerous or public places, the converse may be true for some. When you are alone with a guy, do you get turned on?

I would go with the poster who basically said, relax and don't worry about it. It doesn't sound like dysfunction to me. And the more you focus on it, the less successful you are likely to be.

AS for the supplements mentioned, I would have a hard time getting hard thinking about anything with Goat in the title, but that's just me. I stopped messing around with animal sex when i left college in western Illinois. The sheep were control freaks.

:+

[+ deej]

Brava!

[bostonman]

Greg - I agree with Devon (and others) on this one (about the psychological side of it), and I also sympathize, as I have the same issue. Worse, I also tend to cum too quickly - sometimes I don't seem to get "normally" fully hard until orgasm...it can be embarrassing.

 

 

An escort site may seem a strange place to bring up the "L" word...but frankly, I find that this happens less with someone I'm romantically involved with - that I'm comfortable with, etc. When I'm doing the casual hookup thing (which is the rut I've been in lately), my dick tends to let me down, as it were - even when I'm very horny. Combine that with the mindset of knowing this may happen, worrying what my one-night partner will think, etc, only makes it worse.

 

I've found it helps to talk about it with a potential partner first - to let him know "it's not him" (lol) - but one has to be in a situation where you can feel comfortable bringing it up, of course.

 

Also - we're so conditioned to have the expectation that we can all get instantly hard - but of course you never see the fluffers in porn films, etc - I'm sure there's not a man out here who hasn't had "performance anxiety" at one time or another (I'm ready for the wise comments...lol) - and unfortunately, as men, we dwell on that kind of failure, and inadvertantly cause it to happen again by dwelling on it.

 

There are guys out there that would understand - and that would even enjoy playing with a soft cock and letting it grow as it's ready to - but as I said, in casual encounters, the expectation of getting it up and on is such an immediate thing, that those of us that let our minds get the better of us have a hard time (no pun intended) feeling like we can please our partner.

 

Oh - BTW, I'll be 40 in a month, but I began to notice this happening to me in my 20's. When I was truly comfortable with someone (which ususlly meant getting to know them for a while and developing feelings for them before hitting the sack) I was fine - when it was a spontaneous causal thing, even if I really *thought* I liked the guy, I sometimes found myself unable to get it up.

 

Which, I guess, means I really AM a romantic at heart...:-)

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Practice Makes Perfect

 

I was sitting in prayer contemplating my belly button and debating whether I should take another Vicodin or wait for my maid to drop off that Oxycotin, but then I just imagine that love scene between Brad Pitt and George Clooney in Oceans 11 and I get a major boner. Sometimes, I will be driving in my car and they will have one of those really long and tedious interviews with some book author on All Things Considered, so I will quickly switch over to the Top 40s stations, where I can groove on the latest love ballad between Nick Lachey and Eminen, which leaves me feeling positively wet.

[Guest]

>Is there some vitamins that I should take? Like zinc or

>vitamin E? I don't believe in the horny goat weed or its

>imitations.

 

I don't recommend dietary supplements. The only substances which have been scientifically tested to be safe and effective for treatment of erectile problems are Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. Dietary supplements require NEITHER testing for safety NOR for effectiveness. In fact, when dietary supplements are subjected to scientific scrutiny, they are rarely safe or effective. For example, echinacia has been promoted as an immune booster and cold treatment, but a study a few months ago actually showed that those taking echinacia actually had their colds last a few hours longer than those who took the placebo. Likewise, Vitamin E studies actually showed an increase, rather than a decrease, in cardiac disease. St. John's Wort has enough drug interactions to fill a Russian novel. I don't think there's a single dietary supplement that's been shown to be as safe and as effective as an FDA-approved medication. Remeber that the FDA has no control over the quality, safety, or effectiveness of dietary supplements!!

 

>

>I am 37 years old if that makes a difference to this post.

>

Well, 37 is kind of young to be having erection problems. Many things can damage the delicate blood vessels to the penis including tobacco, marijuana, other drugs, alcohol, high blood pressure, or high blood sugars (i.e. diabetes). You should see your doctor to check for organic causes.

[gregkidman]

>I've found it helps to talk about it with a potential partner

>first - to let him know "it's not him" (lol) - but one has to

>be in a situation where you can feel comfortable bringing it

>up, of course.

 

What I normally do is say that I have a very shy dick and it needs coaxing...

 

>Also - we're so conditioned to have the expectation that we

>can all get instantly hard

 

That is what is happening to me -- and I dwell on this. It is difficult to push this type of thought away and just relax.

 

>unfortunately, as men, we dwell on that kind of failure, and

>inadvertantly cause it to happen again by dwelling on it.

 

Again, difficult for me to get away from this track of thought. My pet theory is that when you are young, you don't have these types of thoughts but as you get older, and have more 'baggage' in your brain (neuroses, anxieties, worries) then we start to 'dwell.'

 

>Which, I guess, means I really AM a romantic at heart...:-)

 

When I am in a long term relationship, I get hardons all the time and I want sex all the time! I think it has to do with being safe and trusting your partner. However, I am single and the first encounters are always difficult for me. I can't wait to establish a long term relationship again. The sexual drought makes me horny but my dick is staying mum. In the meantime, I hire escorts on occasion for the 'sure thing', for fun and for relief.

 

Cheers,

Greg

[JamesK840]

>You should see your doctor to check for organic causes.

 

And maybe ask about Cialis while you're there, which may give you 36+ hours of easy erections...

[Johninpdx]

>If you get hardons and you fuck/masturbate/get sucked but not

>cum, does that cause more spontaneous erections when you are

>not in a sexual situation? (Does it make you more horny?)

 

Greg,

 

This does cause me to get more spontaneous erections throughout the day;, however it makes my balls extremely sensitive until I finally cum.

[Knabegeil]

Congratualtions, Devon, on a witty, wise and funny commentary. I enjoyed reading it very much.

[Rick Munroe]

>Getting hard all day and not cumming does make you horny; I

>can vouch for that.

 

Isn't that backwards? Getting hard doesn't make me horny; being horny gets me hard. But maybe I'm the weird one.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey Greg.

You are very right, there is a minority of guys whose erectile response is inmediate to almost every stimuli. They (we) seem to be blessed by the hard cock gene... and as you let us know, it is just not your case.

The only thing that comes to my mind now, is that you seem to be worried about it. You say that you would love to enjoy a guy in the bar, and let him feel your hard on...

In my humble opinion, in this phallocratic society, hard cocks are so overrated that we stopped enjoying pleasure per se. We dont enjoy the touch of another hand, but are totally worried on wether we will be hard or not.

I would advise you to totally forget about a hard on, and focus totally in your sensations. The feel of your lips, and your partners lips, your hands and his all over your body, the smell of you two together, your breath and how it feels and so on. We are not just a cock having sex, and when we focus only in the penis, we can not get real pleasure and therefoe nothing gets really hard.

Forget about hardness and focus in pleasure! In the end, a soft lover is nice, as long as he is connected and passionate. But a worried, preocuppied one, is never nice to have around.

Hardness is not all! Passionate awareness, being here and now in touch with my feelings, thats what creates pleasure.

Happy experimenting!

[Trixie]

Frankly my dear Greg, I'm only 40, but I cannot even remember the last time I got a spontaneous hard-on. They say men peak sexually at around 19-20, you've probably got some 7 year of easy erections after that. But, for most uf us, somewhere soon after the Saturn Return, the little soldier just stops standing at attention for every passing officer as often he used to do.

Personally, I find it a relief now to be freer from the constant badgering that I used to feel from my libido. And tho' it's occasionally chastening to find that the little soldier, and you yourself, would rather take a nap than have sex, well, youth doesn't last forever. And it's probably best to leave spontaneous sexual arousal to the young and naive anyway (if they were older and wiser, and knew what they were doing, most of us wouldn't even be here!).

And what the other posters said about sex being mostly all in your head is true. Remember that episode in the original Star Trek where there were those big colored brains that could make Captain Kirk do all sorts of dumb things? It's a great analogy, and one I'm sure Gene Roddenberry meant to be recognized... If you want your Captain Kirk to rise to great feats of ludicrous, histrionic, bad acting, rely more on the Big Red Brain than the Girl with the Green Skin.

 

La Trix

[Guest showme43]

Hey now, I'm in my mid 40s and can still get a hard on at the drop of a hat.....of course people look at me funny when I keep knocking their hats off.

:7

[Chuck50]

You can knock my hat off Babe How ya been doing?? Maybe will see you some day again. HUGS Chuck:9 :9 :9 :9 :9

[Guest showme43]

HEHEHE :7

 

Hiya Chuck