Aggressive, Masc Guys: You know you want them..

[+ FreshFluff]

Like the clickbait title? We had a thread about "troubled" escorts. Someone on that thread discussed a particular kind of troubled guy--the very masc, aggressive, ton of testosterone coursing through his veins type, the kind who gets into more than his share of fights. Have you even been drawn to a guy like that? Tell your stories, gentlemen (and ladies)

 

(Of course, getting into fights doesn't make a guy masculine, and most masculine guys don't get into fights often, or at all. It's just that this kind of guy tends to fit what people here often describe as "masc.")

[Rudynate]

I slightly knew a guy who did landscaping, tree-trimming, etc. Very masculine, solid muscle, really sweet, drank a lot, seemed a little dangerous. He did a lot of work for a contractor who was a neighbor. He was so hot, I hired him to trim my trees and hedges. My house was surround by tall hedges and I liked to have them trimmed by hand, rather than with a hedge trimmer. He had his entire crew standing on tall step ladders trimming the hedges with pruning shears. I swooned when I saw that. Alas, I was sure he was 100% straight and that he wasn't even a possibility, so I never seriously considered putting a move on him.

[tyro]

There was a guy in junior high who matured early. Bulging biceps and package. Some acne. Not terribly bright. He wrestled and came off as tough, at least to me. I wonder what happened to him.

T

[+ quoththeraven]

My response will probably be unsurprising, but no, I'm not drawn to guys like that. Not even in my reading, generally speaking, although they're not uncommon in certain genres.

 

Although her definition of androgyny probably isn't everyone's, I've been fascinated by the concept ever since I first read about Columbia professor Carolyn G. Heilbrun's Toward A Recognition of Androgyny, a study of the erasing and crossing of gender lines in literature going back to the classical period and Plato's Symposium. Her introduction makes explicit her goal of questioning societal norms regarding gender. It may not have caused my love of high cheekbones and waifish-looking guys, but it sure reinforced it.

[jawjateck]

I'm a lover, not a fighter. So I avoid the bad boys as much as possible, although I have procured the services of a few of these troubled souls down through the years.

 

This does bring back memories of my wayward hetero youth when I dated women. I was stuck in a pattern of liking the girls who liked the bad boys. The bad boys would rough 'em up and treat 'em badly. The girls would come to me for a comforting shoulder to cry on, but the lure of the bad boy was too strong and back they went.

 

Oh well, it was all apart of my maturation to help me realize that I am happy being single, and free to have whatever flings I want....yes, even if I have to pay to make it happen.

[Decatur Guy]

In 2013 and 2014, I had about 10 hook-ups or so with a guy I wouldn't call a bad boy as much as a troubled boy in his late 20s, I'd guess. He's very good looking, confident and cocky in bed for good reason but something of a mess outside of bed -- couldn't control his spending, always seemed to be on the outs with friends and family. There was just something always upsetting happening to him, and never his fault. But he disappeared when he realized all I was going to offer was frank advice from a fuck buddy and I wasn't going to be a sugar daddy.

 

He didn't fit that ultra-confident demeanor of a true bad boy. True bad boys don't betray their woes so easily. I think his sex appeal was part of his problem, though. I sensed he's skated on that a lot to get by.

 

If nothing else, being among the nonattractive is character-and-intellect building!

[+ sync]

I'm attracted to masculine men, but not bad boys. It's the men whose masculinity is neither threatened nor threatening that appeal to me.

[Wolfer]

I'm attracted to masculine men, but not bad boys. It's the men whose masculinity is neither threatened nor threatening that appeal to me.

 

I agree, I find the masculine part of being able to make you feel safe and cared for the most attractive. The gentle giants, if you will.

 

Some guys just naturally have this calm, reassuring demeanor, making you feel like they'll protect you and keep you safe. Which, to me, is very much part of the masculine energy/persona. I could lie for hours in the arms of such a guy.

 

Peacocking, macho behavior and any sort of aggression are instant turn offs for me, and I do not necesserally equate those with masculinity.

[Rudynate]

There was a guy I went to school with. One of those types who matured early. In 8th grade, he already had quite a bit of body hair. When we were in Junior high, he got drunk one weekend, broke into the school and did a lot of damage. By high school, he was really something, muscles, hairy all over. I used to love to watch him in the locker room because he had a really hairy ass that fascinated me. He was very charming in a bad boy way. Girls loved him, but they were sort of afraid of him. One time in PE class, we were swimming relays and I was standing behind him. Suddenly, he turned around, put an arm on my shoulder and said, "You know, you're really a nice kid." I was in heaven. Had no idea where that came from and didn't know what to say.

 

In junior year, he beat a gay guy to death at a cruising area in a local park and got sent to reform school.

[actor61]

There was a guy I went to school with. One of those types who matured early. In 8th grade, he already had quite a bit of body hair. When we were in Junior high, he got drunk one weekend, broke into the school and did a lot of damage. By high school, he was really something, muscles, hairy all over. I used to love to watch him in the locker room because he had a really hairy ass that fascinated me. He was very charming in a bad boy way. Girls loved him, but they were sort of afraid of him. One time in PE class, we were swimming relays and I was standing behind him. Suddenly, he turned around, put an arm on my shoulder and said, "You know, you're really a nice kid." I was in heaven. Had no idea where that came from and didn't know what to say.

 

In junior year, he beat a gay guy to death at a cruising area in a local park and got sent to reform school.

For the best definition of a "bad boy", see the film "The Fluffer". I don't know who the actor is but he's ridiculously good in portraying the ultra-masculine, ultra handsome, ultra hung, ultra desirable guy to both sexes and turns out to be ultra fucked up. It's a terrific movie.

[tyro]

There was a guy I went to school with. One of those types who matured early. In 8th grade, he already had quite a bit of body hair. When we were in Junior high, he got drunk one weekend, broke into the school and did a lot of damage. By high school, he was really something, muscles, hairy all over. I used to love to watch him in the locker room because he had a really hairy ass that fascinated me. He was very charming in a bad boy way. Girls loved him, but they were sort of afraid of him. One time in PE class, we were swimming relays and I was standing behind him. Suddenly, he turned around, put an arm on my shoulder and said, "You know, you're really a nice kid." I was in heaven. Had no idea where that came from and didn't know what to say.

 

In junior year, he beat a gay guy to death at a cruising area in a local park and got sent to reform school.

I don't half wonder if something similar happened to the guy I wrote about.

T

[+ Axiom2001]

Two former colleagues come to mind here! Both had dark hair and eyes and oozed with lots of masculinity. I fantasized a lot, but I dared NOT tried to hit on either.

Why not? During my many years in playing and enjoying the company of men-- I'd always allowed the other party to be the aggressor! Mistake? I try NOT to give

this much thought, for in the past I had my share of fun and afterglows!

[Tonyko]

I (he says with a little tee hee) am attracted to these kinda guys. When I first started doing MMA I was offered 250$ a shitload of doe to me then, plus motel, to be one of many on an amat fight roster in a (very) low end Atlntc Cty venue so I took it. I was up against a guy about my age blondish mid 20's some bad tats who in retro looked like Ryan Gossling not super handsome but sexy, to me anyway. At one point during a clench when our faces were pressed togather I was CERTAIN he licked my lip. But I really couldn't tell if it was just accidental during our panting or if he MEANT to???? Either way when we separated I got a little wood (never happened before) and got distracted and got my ass kicked pretty bad. (I blamed it on my distraction not the fact that I wasn't very good which I WASN'T) Late that night (we were all staying in the same shitty motel, kinda dirty one ground level strip motel rooms on the parking lot etc ) I came back after eating and saw when I walked by a window he was right next to me the ratty curtains were open and he was in there in just a pair of boxers standing in front of the TV. So I ran across the street to a mart got a six pack of Heiniken then knocked on his door just to say "good match no hard feelings etc etc" and ask if he wanted a beer. He kinda fist bump thanked me and said no but said he had scotch did I want some? So I went into his room which stunk (I don't think he'd even showered after the fight) there was a half pizza with cigarettes put out in it but his boxers were WAY low so I saw his ass crack and even some pubes and I also noticed his feet were really messed up lots of cuts one black toe nail etc. We laid back on the two beds and talked over scotch and he told me he was on PROBATION what for he didn't say he just said his ass would be in trouble BIG TIME for leaving the State to do this (he was from PA) so he hada be real careful etc. THEN he just fell asleep lol. IDK why but I just found him SUPER dangerous and SUPER hot lol. I stayed there a while he was spread eagle face up on the next bed he snored he farted he shifted positions a few times. (I wanted VERY much to JO looking at him and EVEN thought about going in the bathroom with the door cracked so I could still see him but the bathroom was open to the room the sink and counter was right there and the toilet was in a diff place where I couldn't see from) I DID touch him but NOT in a lascivious way just to nudge him to ask you wanna go to bed now etc etc but even THAT really got me excited. Finally I just left and locked his door behind me with him just asleep on that bed. (then JO'd in my own room ) I slept late next morning and his door was wide open and the cleaning woman was in there and I NEVER saw him again.

BUT I keep EVERYTHING so I still had the fightcard from that AND his name, and EVERY once in a while since the inception of social media I DO troll to see if anyone from my past has any footprint. And I DID find him on FB about 3 years ago. First a page by his (wife/baby mama?) where he was tagged, which led me to his own page. He's still in PA, looks very much the same with more tats but he didn't get fat etc, no hint of what he does now but when I googled it brought up a TON of MUG SHOTS, going back to even before I met him from his teens, ALL THE WAY to the present, burglaries Dom violence drug posession suspended license etal etal. THEN, just this year, a DUI and accident that left him in a wheelchair. BUT he is, according to the posts and pix, in PT and starting to regain his ability to walk. THAZ my story

[+ WilliamM]

I'm attracted to masculine men, but not bad boys. It's the men whose masculinity is neither threatened nor threatening that appeal to me.

 

During my last four weeks in the U.S. Army, the short timers were sent to a special unit to do office work and clean up details. I had always liked a guy (Mike) from Iowa who had a amazing ass (community showers in the Army) and a reputation as a bad boy. I got to know Mike very well during the weeks we were in the short timers group.

 

Mike has several illegitimate kids back home, had a reputation for getting in fights and the words "eat me" written on his army cap. We were together 24/7 for four weeks and became great friends. I never saw any bad behavior, exactly the opposition.

 

We exchanged addresses, but never contacted each other after the Army. We would not have been great friends, but for unusual corcumstances.

 

This was in 1969, and I still think about him fondly and lust all these years later. And regret very much never pursuing the 'eat me' words on his cap.

[+ FreshFluff]

Tonyko, I'm glad you weighed in. ;)Your guy sounds hot and I definitely understand the appeal. As for me, I prefer the aggressive side to be underneath a clean exterior, topped with with an Oxford shirt.

 

I'm attracted to masculine men, but not bad boys. It's the men whose masculinity is neither threatened nor threatening that appeal to me.

 

I used to say the same thing. As someone else wrote above, the appeal is that they're supposed to be protective.

 

This was in 1969, and I still think about him fondly and lust all these years later. And regret very much never pursuing the 'eat me' words on his cap.

 

Did you ever look him up to see what happened to him?

[+ FreshFluff]

This does bring back memories of my wayward hetero youth when I dated women. I was stuck in a pattern of liking the girls who liked the bad boys. The bad boys would rough 'em up and treat 'em badly. The girls would come to me for a comforting shoulder to cry on, but the lure of the bad boy was too strong and back they went.

 

Aw, Jawja. It makes me so sad to think of this hot science guy whose shoulder girls would cry on. You sound plenty masc yourself, so maybe you just came across the wrong women.

[gallahadesquire]

For the best definition of a "bad boy", see the film "The Fluffer". I don't know who the actor is but he's ridiculously good in portraying the ultra-masculine, ultra handsome, ultra hung, ultra desirable guy to both sexes and turns out to be ultra fucked up. It's a terrific movie.

 

I hope this will post. The Fluffer:

http://www.videoboxmen.com/movie-details?contentId=5737182&isHD=false

 

The cast:

Dave Logan, Zak Spears, Ryan Block, Brett Ford, Hunter Scott, Mark West, Alex Wild, Rob Cryston

 

OR maybe this isn't the right film

[gallahadesquire]

Maybe it's this one:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fluffer

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/519G6KHHBZL._SY445_.jpg

 

The "fluffer" character is Sean McGinnis, who is played by Michael Cunio.

[+ FreshFluff]

Although her definition of androgyny probably isn't everyone's, I've been fascinated by the concept ever since I first read about Columbia professor Carolyn G. Heilbrun's Toward A Recognition of Androgyny, a study of the erasing and crossing of gender lines in literature going back to the classical period and Plato's Symposium. Her introduction makes explicit her goal of questioning societal norms regarding gender. It may not have caused my love of high cheekbones and waifish-looking guys, but it sure reinforced it.

 

The summary of Heilbrun's book reads: "In this quietly provocative book, Carolyn G. Heilbrun opens our eyes to the ways in which the concept of androgyny--the realization of man in woman and woman in man--has run, like a hidden river, from its source in pre-Hellenic myth through the literature of the Western world. The androgynous ideal shows itself to be a creative and civilizing force conducive to the survival of a truly human society."

 

I don't doubt much of that except for the last sentence, which seems vague and unfalsifiable. I haven't read her book though, so it's hard to know. In any case, Dr. Heilbrun's work does not and cannot affect whom I'm attracted to on Friday night at 11 PM anymore than it brought about your love of high cheekbones.

[+ WilliamM]

Did you ever look him up to see what happened to him?

 

After I was discharged from the Army, I traveled thoughout the U.S. and Mexice for several months, losing my address book at some point. I hoped there would be a letter from him when I finally got home, but no. There was no computers then, and he has a fairly common name anyway.

 

Some how we had a day off and hitch hiked all the way to Saigon, where he had never been. That was a wonderful day, including massage girls. We should not have been out at night hitch hiking back, but luckily we got a ride almost immediately.

 

Just before we left he talked about guys in the Army comming on to him. He did not like it at all, but did not say more. But, it was said in a casual "what can I do?" way.

 

Again, this was more than 45 years ago.

[rguer]

Although her definition of androgyny probably isn't everyone's, I've been fascinated by the concept ever since I first read about Columbia professor Carolyn G. Heilbrun's Toward A Recognition of Androgyny, a study of the erasing and crossing of gender lines in literature going back to the classical period and Plato's Symposium. Her introduction makes explicit her goal of questioning societal norms regarding gender. It may not have caused my love of high cheekbones and waifish-looking guys, but it sure reinforced it.

 

And she wrote good mystery novels too!

[actor61]

Maybe it's this one:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fluffer

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/519G6KHHBZL._SY445_.jpg

 

The "fluffer" character is Sean McGinnis, who is played by Michael Cunio.

It's this one. Really good movie and the actor picture is terrific.

[+ Gar1eth]

Actually I don't. I mean I like masculine guys. But I don't like aggression. People, both men and women, (although men more) who have hair trigger tempers make my stomach clench and not in a good way. I don't even like being around the 'macho' guys whose every third word is a 'cuss' word. I never threw around the 'f' word or other similar words even as an adolescent. I may use it now-but usually only to myself when I screw up (I end up using it a lot. ) In fact I told myself recently I needed to stop saying it as much-but again it's directed almost always in 'self' -directed talk and not in a conversation.

 

In general practice, I think bad boys work better on the TV or movie screen than in real life. There they are usually incredibly handsome. And they can often be saved by the love of a good woman (or a good man).

 

 

 

Gman

[Zman]

I guess I like tough guys or at least a certain kind of masculinity. Military guys are a turn on for me: the more muscular and dominant the better. Oddly some of the hottest military guys I met (Marines) were the biggest assholes. They seemed so used to people coming on to them and pleasing them that they expected me to do all the work in the encounter. And not in a good way. I don't think there'd ever been consequences to them behaving like assholes so they felt entitled to treat people however they felt like.

 

IDK just an observation. Happily I've met Marines with great personalities and the friendships have lasted to our mutual benefit.

[bostonman]

And they can often be saved by the love of a good woman (or a good man).

 

But I think there's a lot of truth in that sentiment. Not that it works, but that many people think it could work. Or, hell, even in the words of the great Frank Loesser, as two women contemplate their futures with their gambling-addict fiances - "Marry the man today and change his ways tomorrow". (Granted, Nathan Detroit and Sky Masterson are much more lovable and harmless than the average *real* tuff guys lol, but the idealistic sentiment stands.)

 

I also think many of us, by nature, are attracted to the lure of danger, whether we choose to act on it or not. From rollercoasters and other crazy amusement park rides, to people who skydive and climb mountains and do other dangerous activities, etc, many people are prone to want to experience the thrill in something potentially dangerous. Could it be that we are similarly attracted to overly-tough guys because we want to at least dream about going on that dangerous ride, at least for a little while?

 

I've never been a fan of those carnival rides (this from a guy who had regular bouts of car-sickness as a kid, lol), and I'm way too klutzy to ever do any dangerous sports or hobbies. But would I fantasize like crazy what it might be like to spend some private time with some big tall strong testosterone-driven cocky college jockboy or fratboy, lol? Hell yeah... (Of course, the real dream would be the "gentle giant" idea another poster mentioned earlier - that I'd find out that this rugged BMOC guy turned out to be a really passionate affectionate lover in bed. Maybe with the ability to turn on the more stereotypical jockboy tuffguy stuff when he knows I'd be into it, lol - but with both of us aware that that's not all that he's about.)