focus on a family

[+ Charlie]

My partner and I had lived together for more than thirty years before the first time I was automatically included in a family event (wedding, anniversary party, etc.). His family is a curious mix of Roman Catholics (both his parents had sisters who were nuns) and conservative Protestants (one of his brothers, now deceased, married into an Evangelical family). Next month, we are going back to his Midwestern hometown for a weekend-long family-only celebration of his 80th birthday. It will be interesting to observe the reactions of various members, whom we have not seen for a few years, when they realize that both of us are wearing wedding rings.

[+ WmClarke]

Have fun!

[Guest countryboywny]

Charlie,

I wish you all the best. You bring up the religion factor and you are right, some people live strictly by the "book" of their religion. I was born and raised Roman Catholic, and still attend mass on a weekly basis. I was also raised in a very loving and accepting family. The bottom line for me is if you love your family then you accept them for who they are no matter what your "religion" has to say.

[Diverdan]

Charlie,

I hope you and your partner have a wonderful time at the family reunion. Hopefully they are ready to accept and love you as you deserved to be loved by your partners relatives. If you don't mind sharing, let us know how this meeting works out.

DD

[craigville beach]

good for you go with pride and have fun

[Nebost]

Despite your wedding rings, you might be surprised at how obtuse some straight folks still are when it comes to recognizing a gay couple. My best friend Gary had taken his husband to at least 20 extended family get togethers...birthdays, family get togethers, his mother's funeral..you name it. His brothers honestly assumed that Randy, his husband, was just a good friend that liked to come along...this went on for years! Finally his brother's children were the ones that broke the news to the brothers that Gary and Randy were more than friends. And they were in total disbelief!

 

Congratulations to your hubby on his 80th. I hope it will be a great celebration.

[+ purplekow]

Despite your wedding rings, you might be surprised at how obtuse some straight folks still are when it comes to recognizing a gay couple. My best friend Gary had taken his husband to at least 20 extended family get togethers...birthdays, family get togethers, his mother's funeral..you name it. His brothers honestly assumed that Randy, his husband, was just a good friend that liked to come along...this went on for years! Finally his brother's children were the ones that broke the news to the brothers that Gary and Randy were more than friends. And they were in total disbelief!

 

Congratulations to your hubby on his 80th. I hope it will be a great celebration.

As they used to say Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

[+ sync]

It will probably be a mixed-bag of reactions. A lot of homophobia has recently been softened. Hopefully a good time will be had by all.

[robberbaron4u]

"Springing a surprise" at a family gathering is not, in my opinion, a very good idea. . .as with a good meal, preparation is everything if success with the thing is to be had.

[+ Charlie]

"Springing a surprise" at a family gathering is not, in my opinion, a very good idea. . .as with a good meal, preparation is everything if success with the thing is to be had.

Most of the Catholic side of the family already know about our marriage and are comfortable with it; it's the evangelicals who--I think--don't know, though they certainly must understand after all these years that we are a couple. One of the other brothers will also be there with his longtime partner, and they were quietly married recently, though I don't know if anyone other than us knows that.

[robberbaron4u]

Send out announcements as it is the "proper" thing to do. Copper-plate engraving, only, please! ,

[Diverdan]

I was very remiss in not sending a hearty "CONGRATULATIONS" to your partner on his 80th. I hope you both have long, healthy and prosperous lives ahead !!

[robberbaron4u]

Indeed, congratulations are in order!

[rvwnsd]

This is probably a good time for a reminder that Iowa (a Midwestern state) was among the first wave of states to grant marriage equality and California (a Coastal state) was among the most recent states to outright ban it. Also, Illinois (a Midwestern state) was the first to decriminalize homosexuality, having done so in 1961.

 

Congratulations on your husband's 80th birthday!

[bigvalboy]

I was very remiss in not sending a hearty "CONGRATULATIONS" to your partner on his 80th. I hope you both have long, healthy and prosperous lives ahead !!

 

Absolutely.... sending well wishes to you and your partner on this wonderful upcoming birthday. Part of my family is Catholic, and my uncle was a Catholic Priest, and yet half the family are evangelicals. So I know a thing or two about navigating thanksgivings, Christmas, and family parties. Thankfully my family is very accepting of my life, and the choices I've made on how to live it. Now politics are a different story. I have just learned to quietly sit in the corner, sipping on a G&T, and then every now and again, throwing my own two cents out there. I will often walk in the door, and my sister will stop me and say. "No politics tonight" .... all's fair, it is a two way street. I respect their opinions and they respect mine. I returned from a family reunion a few months back, and things went quite well. Lots of teasing and bantering back and forth. Wouldn't change a thing. Good luck with your situation, you'll be fine.

[+ Gar1eth]

My partner and I had lived together for more than thirty years before the first time I was automatically included in a family event (wedding, anniversary party, etc.). His family is a curious mix of Roman Catholics (both his parents had sisters who were nuns) and conservative Protestants (one of his brothers, now deceased, married into an Evangelical family). Next month, we are going back to his Midwestern hometown for a weekend-long family-only celebration of his 80th birthday. It will be interesting to observe the reactions of various members, whom we have not seen for a few years, when they realize that both of us are wearing wedding rings.

 

 

I apparently missed the announcement of your nuptials. So let me take this opportunity to congratulate you on that and to wish your husband a very Happy 80th Birthday!!

 

 

Gman

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Congratulations Charlie. It is wonderful that there is a family event that you are attending.

[tyro]

As they used to say Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

+1

T