Am I too timid -or- should I learn to stop worrying and love the blue balls

[+ Keith30309]

I need the advice of some experienced folks. I've only recently begun hiring and have had a couple of awesome experiences. But with two escorts I've been a little bewildered to leave the sessions with nothing more than a polite chat on a sofa from 6 feet away. Do I need to be an aggressor?

 

I book 2 hour sessions so I can get to know guys - random grunting with a stranger is pointless to me - and with two different guys I booked 2 sessions a couple of weeks apart (4 hours total for each guy) and on both visits with both guys nothing remotely sexual happened. I explained to both that I was relatively inexperienced and a bit nervous but that I wanted to experiment sexually.

 

Both guys were super nice and extremely chatty - and one is a very heavily reviewed Atlanta-based porn actor. The sessions were very pleasant discussions about politics, the weather, travel, etc., ... but to the tune of $200+tip/hour for 8 hours total. I felt pretty disappointed an a little rejected by the experiences.

 

(I have had a couple of sessions which went much better and on those occasions the escort was more forward with a friendly hug and casual closeness that evolved very nicely.)

 

I'm not the type to grab someone by the collar and jam my tongue down his throat but is it the norm that the client initiates any intimate contact?

 

 

A slightly related question: on two unrelated visits I've asked escorts to top me (after getting over my initial shyness and having some mild but satisfying play time) and they made polite excuses not to; both advertise as 'versatile'. We've had lots of time beyond what I booked so that wasn't an issue. I consider myself to be ultra hygienic, considerate of other's preferences and pretty easy-going. I'm mystified as to why someone who is truly versatile would decline to top. Am I missing something? To be topped do you have to find someone who explicitly identifies themselves as such?

[+ WmClarke]

Be more direct. Eventually move in for a kiss. Or take their hand and lead him to the bedroom. Or both.

 

Four hours and no sex? Please post a review of each. You got ripped off.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

I've only recently begun hiring and have had a couple of awesome experiences. But with two escorts I've been a little bewildered to leave the sessions with nothing more than a polite chat on a sofa from 6 feet away. Do I need to be an aggressor?

 

Yeah, you likely got screwed. What specific expectations were discussed upfront before making the appointment?

[+ purplekow]

Well if you sit and they sit, you are spending and they are collecting. If the escort is not aggressive with you, a simple, "i would like to see you in your underwear" Will move things in the right direction. If within a minute, you are not seeing him in his underwear, you are being had. You do not have you shove your tongue down his throat, in fact that sounds like a bad kiss, but you do need to do something.

[Rudynate]

I need the advice of some experienced folks. I've only recently begun hiring and have had a couple of awesome experiences. But with two escorts I've been a little bewildered to leave the sessions with nothing more than a polite chat on a sofa from 6 feet away. Do I need to be an aggressor?

 

I book 2 hour sessions so I can get to know guys - random grunting with a stranger is pointless to me - and with two different guys I booked 2 sessions a couple of weeks apart (4 hours total for each guy) and on both visits with both guys nothing remotely sexual happened. I explained to both that I was relatively inexperienced and a bit nervous but that I wanted to experiment sexually.

 

Both guys were super nice and extremely chatty - and one is a very heavily reviewed Atlanta-based porn actor. The sessions were very pleasant discussions about politics, the weather, travel, etc., ... but to the tune of $200+tip/hour for 8 hours total. I felt pretty disappointed an a little rejected by the experiences.

 

(I have had a couple of sessions which went much better and on those occasions the escort was more forward with a friendly hug and casual closeness that evolved very nicely.)

 

I'm not the type to grab someone by the collar and jam my tongue down his throat but is it the norm that the client initiates any intimate contact?

 

 

A slightly related question: on two unrelated visits I've asked escorts to top me (after getting over my initial shyness and having some mild but satisfying play time) and they made polite excuses not to; both advertise as 'versatile'. We've had lots of time beyond what I booked so that wasn't an issue. I consider myself to be ultra hygienic, considerate of other's preferences and pretty easy-going. I'm mystified as to why someone who is truly versatile would decline to top. Am I missing something? To be topped do you have to find someone who explicitly identifies themselves as such?

 

 

Sex is what they're there for, all those silly disclaimers aside. All the other stuff is just icing on the cake. I like to get right to it. Random grunting with a stranger is exactly what I'm looking for. I like to start making out and undressing them as soon as they're inside the door, although I don't jam my tongue down their throat. I guess I 've been lucky in my choice of escorts, because they usually seem to really enjoy getting right to it. My manners are as good as anybody. But I like to park my manners when it comes to sex.

 

Why wouldn't you make the first contact? You're paying.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey Keith,

 

Sorry to hear you have had this happening to you. Giving the guys the benefit of the doubt I have had sessions in which the client kept deflecting every single sexual overture I made. Even physical contact. I know there are some clients out there who hire regularly for a good chat with a hot guy. It's not unheard of.

 

Clearly this is not what you want, so it is up to you to let the escort know in advance that you might have difficulty initiating and ask him to take the lead after a bit of talk to calm your nerves.

 

There is one thing that worries me a little about your post. You wrote two things that made me cringe a little because it almost sounds as if you feel that sexual intimacy is an aggression, not a dance. Which is interesting given that you also say that you enjoy the intimacy and getting to know your man.

 

Do I need to be an aggressor?

I'm not the type to grab someone by the collar and jam my tongue down his throat but is it the norm that the client initiates any intimate contact?

 

The answers to these questions are "NO!" and "ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOT!" I love sex but I can tell you that if someone opened by trying to thrust their tongue down my piehole we would finish the session really soon. My body, my pleasure, my sexuality are something very valuable and important for me that I choose to share with people who respect it. But it is me who chooses to do so. Nobody can force themselves on to me. Intimacy and sensuality have nothing in common with aggression or an attack. It's more like a dance of two, one proposes one thing, the other listens, then interprets the request using his personal preferences and then proposes something back. It's a game of listening and honouring and answering and being present.

 

Sitting there frozen in terror or being a sexual aggressor are not the only two options. There is another option that works so much better because it will yield an organic result of genuine intimate sensuality. After a bit of chatting, when you feel relaxed and close to him, sit closer to him or ask him to sit closer to you, continue talking but gently caress his leg, admire his beauty, give a compliment or two. If you chose your escort correctly, he should by then start reciprocating with touches, caresses and eventually a small kiss here and there. Then organically clothes slowly start coming off and what started as little pecks will inevitably turn into passionate kisses and embraces. Listen to his reactions, let him listen to yours. Tell him what feels good, listen what feels good for him and do more of that. I assure you, there is no way you will leave with blue balls if you follow this approach.

 

Sex is what they're there for, all those silly disclaimers aside. All the other stuff is just icing on the cake. I like to get right to it. Random grunting with a stranger is exactly what I'm looking for. I like to start making out and undressing them as soon as they're inside the door, although I don't jam my tongue down their throat.

 

Keith, reading your post it is clear that your preference is to get some intimate time, get to know the guy and enjoy being with a human being, not a sex fleshbot. Many men in here see this as a transaction of sex for money. While it is true that some men do sell sex for money, it is also true that there is a huge amount of men who are offering a complete service of companionship, intimacy, expert surrogacy, therapeutic touch laced with a healthy and hot dose of steaming sex. These men actually are only charging for their time, not because it is a silly disclaimer, but because they know that not all men want just sex and because they have a lot more to offer.

 

The "They are just Hoo_rs and they are there to give you sex" team is often very loud, just don't think that because they scream the loudest it means they are the only opinion out there.

 

Don't give up your desire for intimacy, and find a middle road where you can initiate a sensual, fun, organic play with your lovers.

 

I am rooting for you!

[Rudynate]

Hey Keith,

 

Sorry to hear you have had this happening to you. Giving the guys the benefit of the doubt I have had sessions in which the client kept deflecting every single sexual overture I made. Even physical contact. I know there are some clients out there who hire regularly for a good chat with a hot guy. It's not unheard of.

 

Clearly this is not what you want, so it is up to you to let the escort know in advance that you might have difficulty initiating and ask him to take the lead after a bit of talk to calm your nerves.

 

There is one thing that worries me a little about your post. You wrote two things that made me cringe a little because it almost sounds as if you feel that sexual intimacy is an aggression, not a dance. Which is interesting given that you also say that you enjoy the intimacy and getting to know your man.

 

 

 

 

The answers to these questions are "NO!" and "ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOT!" I love sex but I can tell you that if someone opened by trying to thrust their tongue down my piehole we would finish the session really soon. My body, my pleasure, my sexuality are something very valuable and important for me that I choose to share with people who respect it. But it is me who chooses to do so. Nobody can force themselves on to me. Intimacy and sensuality have nothing in common with aggression or an attack. It's more like a dance of two, one proposes one thing, the other listens, then interprets the request using his personal preferences and then proposes something back. It's a game of listening and honouring and answering and being present.

 

Sitting there frozen in terror or being a sexual aggressor are not the only two options. There is another option that works so much better because it will yield an organic result of genuine intimate sensuality. After a bit of chatting, when you feel relaxed and close to him, sit closer to him or ask him to sit closer to you, continue talking but gently caress his leg, admire his beauty, give a compliment or two. If you chose your escort correctly, he should by then start reciprocating with touches, caresses and eventually a small kiss here and there. Then organically clothes slowly start coming off and what started as little pecks will inevitably turn into passionate kisses and embraces. Listen to his reactions, let him listen to yours. Tell him what feels good, listen what feels good for him and do more of that. I assure you, there is no way you will leave with blue balls if you follow this approach.

 

 

 

Keith, reading your post it is clear that your preference is to get some intimate time, get to know the guy and enjoy being with a human being, not a sex fleshbot. Many men in here see this as a transaction of sex for money. While it is true that some men do sell sex for money, it is also true that there is a huge amount of men who are offering a complete service of companionship, intimacy, expert surrogacy, therapeutic touch laced with a healthy and hot dose of steaming sex. These men actually are only charging for their time, not because it is a silly disclaimer, but because they know that not all men want just sex and because they have a lot more to offer.

 

The "They are just Hoo_rs and they are there to give you sex" team is often very loud, just don't think that because they scream the loudest it means they are the only opinion out there.

 

Don't give up your desire for intimacy, and find a middle road where you can initiate a sensual, fun, organic play with your lovers.

 

I am rooting for you!

 

Juan - I am sorry if you got the impression that I think poorly of escorts. That's not correct. I think of escorts as service providers, not unlike bodyworkers, therapists or personal trainers. And I recognize that they provide other things than sex, but my agenda when I am hiring an escort is sex. And I don't think that looking to an escort to provide highly-skilled sex denigrates them in any way. It is obvious from what their patrons pay escorts, that they value the service(s) that the escort provides, even when the service they are primarily interested in is sex. I think once I paid $350.00 for a doctor appointment. I have never paid a therapist, a personal trainer or a bodyworker $250.00 an hour, but I gladly pay that to an escort. I don't think I would treat someone that I thought of as "just a hooor" that well.

 

Even when I'm having sex for free, I'm the same way I am with an escort --be quiet and get your clothes off -- not because I disrespect my partner, but because it's fun to discard niceties and just get down to it. I get plenty of repeat requests, so I guess there are more than a few men out there who don't mind being "objectified."

[curiousnomore]

Hey Keith,

I'm pretty new to this scene too. You've got to let the escort know what you want. Be polite when contacting him. Have a specific day/time you want to meet. (A little wiggle room either way on your part is good) Where possible, accommodate the escort's schedule. He has a life too.

 

Do NOT ask the escort about sex acts in your initial email. (Or subsequent emails/texts) He will ask what you are looking for. Tell him about your fantasy, what you dream about doing with another man etc.

 

Most importantly, never contact an escort unless you are serious about meeting. Be polite and respectful. Remember: You ask to spend time with him. He chooses to spend time with you.

[+ Gar1eth]

Unless you were giving signals that you didn't want sex or were so nervous that the escort just didnt know where to begin, I'd say they took advantage of you. I mean I suppose there might be other reasons that I'm not thinking of, but not having been there to observe what went on, I'm having a tough time trying to imagine what they could have been.

 

I've certainly chatted with guys before. And if that's what you like to do, then I'd say continue that. But why don't you have them get into bed with you? I mean you can both chat nicely in a bed. And you'd be in much closer proximity to each other.

 

Once in bed-it wouldn't be considered unusual if you asked the escort to take his shirt off. You could even help him with the buttons. Things could then proceed gradually from there.

 

But I have to ask-what kind of conversation did you have with them after the first non-productive two hour meetings that led to the repeated non-productive second meetings? And have you communicated your displeasure with them since? If they say it was a misunderstanding-maybe so-but after paying for 4 hours with each of them, I don't think I'd chance it with them again unless maybe they were offering a free session to make-up for what didn't happen the first two times.

 

While I don't know if he's your type, Ryan Turner has always gotten stellar reviews. And most likely would be great for a someone without much experience.

 

www.rentboy.com/ListingPopup.aspx?lid=274956&preview=1

 

 

 

Gman

[+ Keith30309]

Thanks everyone for the great feedback and sharing your wisdom and experience. I get the gist of it and 1) understand these encounters were NOT the norm, and, 2) I need to do a better job of communicating expectations and perhaps be a little more willing to overcome nervous hesitancy and be a little more open about what I'd like to see happen rather than (figuratively) sit on my hands in someone's apartment and wait.

 

To the initial thoughts some had shared, I'm not really sure it would be constructive to post negative reviews. I'm not crazy about having spent a good bit of emotional energy (and money) with these encounters but would prefer to just consider them lessons-learned.

 

(Also, I was joking about the tongue thing - I'm more of a earlobe-nibbler . )

[Juan Vancouver]

Juan - I am sorry if you got the impression that I think poorly of escorts. That's not correct.

 

I am glad you responded because that will give me a chance to clarify. I don't think you think poorly of escorts and I don't think poorly of you for seeing escorts as sexual providers the same way I don't think poorly of those men who see themselves as a sexual workers.

 

And I don't think that looking to an escort to provide highly-skilled sex denigrates them in any way.

 

I wholeheartedly agree with you. It doesn't.

 

This has been discussed before to exhaustion but it is relevant to this conversation. The word escort comprises entirely different job descriptions performed by entirely different men with incredibly dissimilar set of skills. It includes the companions who travel with their clients or accompany them to social events or the theatre. It includes the therapist/sex coach/ surrogate partner with whom clients can explore their sexuality, learn new tricks, practice social skills and become comfortable with the human interaction. It includes the tantric therapists who seek to activate the sexual energy of their patients to promote a greater experience of joy in their lives. It also includes the pretend boyfriend who will be pursued by the client with gifts, cars, apartments, trips. Includes the sugar baby, who is looking for someone to take care of him. It also includes the prostitute, who pretty much only provides sex for money.

 

I am sure I am missing many others.

 

I don't think any of these professions are better than others. I don't think clients pursuing different services from escorts are better or worse than others. It's just a very wide array of specialized services that accurately reflect the diversity of the human experience.

 

Just because I know there are many men who sell "love" for money or sex for money, doesn't mean that I am open to do so myself. All escorts consciously or not have to decide which areas of escorting they will practice and which they won't. I do not sell sex. Ever. If you want to buy sex from me you will be disappointed. I sell my companionship, and very often, when it is honoured and respected, this evolves into a very enjoyable sexual play. But If I meet you I am in no way obliged to provide you any sexual act. This is not a disclaimer, not a loophole.

 

If I thought it was important to invite Keith to stick to his guns and accept the fact that he is looking for connection and intimacy, that he needs time getting to know his partner, time to become comfortable, is because there are many posters here who whenever they read a post like Keith's they immediately and loudly try to discourage the original poster to care about intimacy and try to "remind" him that escorts are for sex.

 

Don't have any problem if you want escorts for sex. There are many men who see themselves as sex providers. What I do have a problem with is when someone tries to tell someone else that ALL escorts are ONLY for sex and that he should smart up, forget his own preferences and get on with the program.

 

Even when I'm having sex for free, I'm the same way I am with an escort --be quiet and get your clothes off -- not because I disrespect my partner, but because it's fun to discard niceties and just get down to it. I get plenty of repeat requests, so I guess there are more than a few men out there who don't mind being "objectified."

 

Nothing wrong with that. Again, some people are into that. But some others actually really enjoy the niceties and the build up and the talk.

 

There's something for everyone. The secret, I think, is to remember that the experience the other is having is as perfectly valid as my own.

[Rudynate]

Hey Keith,

 

Sorry to hear you have had this happening to you. Giving the guys the benefit of the doubt I have had sessions in which the client kept deflecting every single sexual overture I made. Even physical contact. I know there are some clients out there who hire regularly for a good chat with a hot guy. It's not unheard of.

 

Clearly this is not what you want, so it is up to you to let the escort know in advance that you might have difficulty initiating and ask him to take the lead after a bit of talk to calm your nerves.

 

There is one thing that worries me a little about your post. You wrote two things that made me cringe a little because it almost sounds as if you feel that sexual intimacy is an aggression, not a dance. Which is interesting given that you also say that you enjoy the intimacy and getting to know your man.

 

 

 

 

The answers to these questions are "NO!" and "ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOT!" I love sex but I can tell you that if someone opened by trying to thrust their tongue down my piehole we would finish the session really soon. My body, my pleasure, my sexuality are something very valuable and important for me that I choose to share with people who respect it. But it is me who chooses to do so. Nobody can force themselves on to me. Intimacy and sensuality have nothing in common with aggression or an attack. It's more like a dance of two, one proposes one thing, the other listens, then interprets the request using his personal preferences and then proposes something back. It's a game of listening and honouring and answering and being present.

 

Sitting there frozen in terror or being a sexual aggressor are not the only two options. There is another option that works so much better because it will yield an organic result of genuine intimate sensuality. After a bit of chatting, when you feel relaxed and close to him, sit closer to him or ask him to sit closer to you, continue talking but gently caress his leg, admire his beauty, give a compliment or two. If you chose your escort correctly, he should by then start reciprocating with touches, caresses and eventually a small kiss here and there. Then organically clothes slowly start coming off and what started as little pecks will inevitably turn into passionate kisses and embraces. Listen to his reactions, let him listen to yours. Tell him what feels good, listen what feels good for him and do more of that. I assure you, there is no way you will leave with blue balls if you follow this approach.

 

 

 

Keith, reading your post it is clear that your preference is to get some intimate time, get to know the guy and enjoy being with a human being, not a sex fleshbot. Many men in here see this as a transaction of sex for money. While it is true that some men do sell sex for money, it is also true that there is a huge amount of men who are offering a complete service of companionship, intimacy, expert surrogacy, therapeutic touch laced with a healthy and hot dose of steaming sex. These men actually are only charging for their time, not because it is a silly disclaimer, but because they know that not all men want just sex and because they have a lot more to offer.

 

The "They are just Hoo_rs and they are there to give you sex" team is often very loud, just don't think that because they scream the loudest it means they are the only opinion out there.

 

Don't give up your desire for intimacy, and find a middle road where you can initiate a sensual, fun, organic play with your lovers.

 

I am rooting for you!

 

I don't understand escorts who resent being objectified, but then you look at their RB ads and they are full of pictures that scream,"PLEASE, OBJECTIFY ME!!" I went to a masseur once who had that type of profile on one of the massage sites, and during our session he complained that clients in San Francisco all expected erotic massage. Duh!

I am glad you responded because that will give me a chance to clarify. I don't think you think poorly of escorts and I don't think poorly of you for seeing escorts as sexual providers the same way I don't think poorly of those men who see themselves as a sexual workers.

 

 

 

I wholeheartedly agree with you. It doesn't.

 

This has been discussed before to exhaustion but it is relevant to this conversation. The word escort comprises entirely different job descriptions performed by entirely different men with incredibly dissimilar set of skills. It includes the companions who travel with their clients or accompany them to social events or the theatre. It includes the therapist/sex coach/ surrogate partner with whom clients can explore their sexuality, learn new tricks, practice social skills and become comfortable with the human interaction. It includes the tantric therapists who seek to activate the sexual energy of their patients to promote a greater experience of joy in their lives. It also includes the pretend boyfriend who will be pursued by the client with gifts, cars, apartments, trips. Includes the sugar baby, who is looking for someone to take care of him. It also includes the prostitute, who pretty much only provides sex for money.

 

I am sure I am missing many others.

 

I don't think any of these professions are better than others. I don't think clients pursuing different services from escorts are better or worse than others. It's just a very wide array of specialized services that accurately reflect the diversity of the human experience.

 

Just because I know there are many men who sell "love" for money or sex for money, doesn't mean that I am open to do so myself. All escorts consciously or not have to decide which areas of escorting they will practice and which they won't. I do not sell sex. Ever. If you want to buy sex from me you will be disappointed. I sell my companionship, and very often, when it is honoured and respected, this evolves into a very enjoyable sexual play. But If I meet you I am in no way obliged to provide you any sexual act. This is not a disclaimer, not a loophole.

 

If I thought it was important to invite Keith to stick to his guns and accept the fact that he is looking for connection and intimacy, that he needs time getting to know his partner, time to become comfortable, is because there are many posters here who whenever they read a post like Keith's they immediately and loudly try to discourage the original poster to care about intimacy and try to "remind" him that escorts are for sex.

 

Don't have any problem if you want escorts for sex. There are many men who see themselves as sex providers. What I do have a problem with is when someone tries to tell someone else that ALL escorts are ONLY for sex and that he should smart up, forget his own preferences and get on with the program.

 

 

 

Nothing wrong with that. Again, some people are into that. But some others actually really enjoy the niceties and the build up and the talk.

 

There's something for everyone. The secret, I think, is to remember that the experience the other is having is as perfectly valid as my own.

 

 

Agree completely with everything you said. Keith's complaint, however, was that he was getting way more company and conversation than he wanted and no sex. The fact that he had a particular kind of sexual experience in mind is immaterial. Everyone encouraged him to be more assertive, even though each person's delivery style was a little different.

[MiamiLooker]

I am glad you responded because that will give me a chance to clarify. I don't think you think poorly of escorts and I don't think poorly of you for seeing escorts as sexual providers the same way I don't think poorly of those men who see themselves as a sexual workers.

 

 

 

I wholeheartedly agree with you. It doesn't.

 

This has been discussed before to exhaustion but it is relevant to this conversation. The word escort comprises entirely different job descriptions performed by entirely different men with incredibly dissimilar set of skills. It includes the companions who travel with their clients or accompany them to social events or the theatre. It includes the therapist/sex coach/ surrogate partner with whom clients can explore their sexuality, learn new tricks, practice social skills and become comfortable with the human interaction. It includes the tantric therapists who seek to activate the sexual energy of their patients to promote a greater experience of joy in their lives. It also includes the pretend boyfriend who will be pursued by the client with gifts, cars, apartments, trips. Includes the sugar baby, who is looking for someone to take care of him. It also includes the prostitute, who pretty much only provides sex for money.

 

I am sure I am missing many others.

 

I don't think any of these professions are better than others. I don't think clients pursuing different services from escorts are better or worse than others. It's just a very wide array of specialized services that accurately reflect the diversity of the human experience.

 

Just because I know there are many men who sell "love" for money or sex for money, doesn't mean that I am open to do so myself. All escorts consciously or not have to decide which areas of escorting they will practice and which they won't. I do not sell sex. Ever. If you want to buy sex from me you will be disappointed. I sell my companionship, and very often, when it is honoured and respected, this evolves into a very enjoyable sexual play. But If I meet you I am in no way obliged to provide you any sexual act. This is not a disclaimer, not a loophole.

 

If I thought it was important to invite Keith to stick to his guns and accept the fact that he is looking for connection and intimacy, that he needs time getting to know his partner, time to become comfortable, is because there are many posters here who whenever they read a post like Keith's they immediately and loudly try to discourage the original poster to care about intimacy and try to "remind" him that escorts are for sex.

 

Don't have any problem if you want escorts for sex. There are many men who see themselves as sex providers. What I do have a problem with is when someone tries to tell someone else that ALL escorts are ONLY for sex and that he should smart up, forget his own preferences and get on with the program.

 

 

 

Nothing wrong with that. Again, some people are into that. But some others actually really enjoy the niceties and the build up and the talk.

 

There's something for everyone. The secret, I think, is to remember that the experience the other is having is as perfectly valid as my own.

 

Juan, you seem to go to great lengths to be clear and articulate in your forum posts, especially when you express your opinion on the difference between charging for sex vs time. Do you think your Rentboy ad is clear and provides a good indication of the services a prospective client can expect?

 

http://www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=577684&scid=152499101&sp=1&pos=5&locid=539&type=escort

 

Looking for the best? Look no further. =) After only two years escorting, I was awarded Escort of the Year and now have many years experience satisfying clients all over the world. I have consistently glowing reviews and am devoted to giving you an unforgettable experience. (Click on "PERSONAL WEBSITE" to read my reviews.)__________________________________________ I am 210 pounds of solid muscle, have exotic dark good looks, and pack an untiring 8 by 6 uncut dick of steel that will hit all of your secret spots for hours. I will be one of the best tops you'll ever meet… And if you are looking to top a hot, muscular bubble butt, we can do that too. __________________________________________ As well as a full-on fuck fest, I can also provide the perfect boyfriend experience. I am articulate, speak several languages, I am a warm and fun companion who will make you feel like a million dollars. __________________________________________ For you first timers, there's no one better to introduce you to your first man-on-man experience. So whether you are looking to get fucked into oblivion, taken for a romantic, passionate ride or simply satisfying your curiosity and looking to fulfill your hottest fantasies, I am your man. __________________________________________ Why settle for anything but the best? You are worth it.

 

View the password is "more" Private Gallery

 

ESCORT'S PERSONAL WEBSITE

 

http://www.daddysreviews.com/venue/canada/bc/juan_vancouver

 

36

 

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Cock Size Extra Large Foreskin Uncut

 

Sexual PositionVersatile Sexual Orientation Gay

 

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Escort's Out Rate $250 extra hr only 150 CAD

 

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[Rudynate]

Juan, you seem to go to great lengths to be clear and articulate in your forum posts, especially when you express your opinion on the difference between charging for sex vs time. Do you think your Rentboy ad is clear and provides a good indication of the services a prospective client can expect?

 

http://www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=577684&scid=152499101&sp=1&pos=5&locid=539&type=escort

 

Looking for the best? Look no further. =) After only two years escorting, I was awarded Escort of the Year and now have many years experience satisfying clients all over the world. I have consistently glowing reviews and am devoted to giving you an unforgettable experience. (Click on "PERSONAL WEBSITE" to read my reviews.)__________________________________________ I am 210 pounds of solid muscle, have exotic dark good looks, and pack an untiring 8 by 6 uncut dick of steel that will hit all of your secret spots for hours. I will be one of the best tops you'll ever meet… And if you are looking to top a hot, muscular bubble butt, we can do that too. __________________________________________ As well as a full-on fuck fest, I can also provide the perfect boyfriend experience. I am articulate, speak several languages, I am a warm and fun companion who will make you feel like a million dollars. __________________________________________ For you first timers, there's no one better to introduce you to your first man-on-man experience. So whether you are looking to get fucked into oblivion, taken for a romantic, passionate ride or simply satisfying your curiosity and looking to fulfill your hottest fantasies, I am your man. __________________________________________ Why settle for anything but the best? You are worth it.

 

View the password is "more" Private Gallery

 

ESCORT'S PERSONAL WEBSITE

 

http://www.daddysreviews.com/venue/canada/bc/juan_vancouver

 

36

 

Height 6' 1" (186cm) Weight204lbs (93kg) Build Muscular/Buff

 

Hair Color Black Eye Color Hazel Body Hair Smooth

 

Cock Size Extra Large Foreskin Uncut

 

Sexual PositionVersatile Sexual Orientation Gay

 

Safe Sex Always Safe Smoking Non-Smoker Drugs You Can

 

Escort's In Rate$250 extra hr only 150 CAD

 

Escort's Out Rate $250 extra hr only 150 CAD

 

Escort's Overnight RateAsk me

 

Escort's Weekend Rate Ask me

[Rudynate]

I agree, there is a bit of unresolved tension between the RB ad and Juan's content on this forum.

[+ WhamIAm]

Thank you guys for raising this. I got halfway through a post on it and chickened out. But, it touches a real sore spot with me.

 

Only started hiring recently, and I definitely hire for more than just sex. I want a connection with the guys I hire, no matter how fleeting, not just time between the sheets. I've asked guys I'd previously had that connection with to dinner, Broadway shows, etc. But . . .

 

. I sell my companionship, and very often, when it is honoured and respected, this evolves into a very enjoyable sexual play. But If I meet you I am in no way obliged to provide you any sexual act. This is not a disclaimer, not a loophole.

I find this incredibly disrespectful to the client community. Virtually every escort ad on Rentboy advertises with the promise of sexual activity. They also offer other possibilities -- BFE, companionship to events, travel companion, massage -- but what is primarily on offer is sex. To say otherwise is misleading. Once those guys took his money, what happened to the OP is flat out theft.

 

To the OP -- I don't think there's more than one porn performer with multiple reviews in ATL. If it gives you more confidence in yourself, I'll tell you that my experience with him was the most awful experience I've ever had hiring. It's not you, it's him. And, I wholeheartedly concur with the recommendation above for Ryan Turner. He's a total gentleman, will quickly put you at ease, and an amazing guy to play with. Very engaged, very communicative in terms of making sure you enjoy your time together. Total sweetheart.

 

Keep trying. Most of the guys I've met will gently initiate contact if you're reluctant to do so, and talk you through things until you get comfortable. And, as suggested above, don't be afraid to ask for him to go slow, undress, let you caress him or whatever else will get you over your initial jitters. Yeah, you will have some experiences that are disappointing. Two of my experiences have actually left me feeling somewhat less confident than when I started -- one downright humiliated (ATL). But, you'll also meet some guys who will help make you feel awesome. (I hired David Benjamin just last night. A truly amazing man in every way. Review to follow, but if you're ever in DC or he's ever in your area, hire him!!) There are lots and lots of roses among the thorns.

 

Don't mean to offend anyone, I just feel as though the "you only hire me for my time, everything else is optional" canard is downright insulting to those of us who invest significant resources in hiring and meeting a bunch of (usually) wonderful guys.

 

YMMV.

[Rudynate]

Thank you guys for raising this. I got halfway through a post on it and chickened out. But, it touches a real sore spot with me.

 

Only started hiring recently, and I definitely hire for more than just sex. I want a connection with the guys I hire, no matter how fleeting, not just time between the sheets. I've asked guys I'd previously had that connection with to dinner, Broadway shows, etc. But . . .

 

. I sell my companionship, and very often, when it is honoured and respected, this evolves into a very enjoyable sexual play. But If I meet you I am in no way obliged to provide you any sexual act. This is not a disclaimer, not a loophole.

I find this incredibly disrespectful to the client community. Virtually every escort ad on Rentboy advertises with the promise of sexual activity. They also offer other possibilities -- BFE, companionship to events, travel companion, massage -- but what is primarily on offer is sex. To say otherwise is misleading. Once those guys took his money, what happened to the OP is flat out theft.

 

To the OP -- I don't think there's more than one porn performer with multiple reviews in ATL. If it gives you more confidence in yourself, I'll tell you that my experience with him was the most awful experience I've ever had hiring. It's not you, it's him. And, I wholeheartedly concur with the recommendation above for Ryan Turner. He's a total gentleman, will quickly put you at ease, and an amazing guy to play with. Very engaged, very communicative in terms of making sure you enjoy your time together. Total sweetheart.

 

Keep trying. Most of the guys I've met will gently initiate contact if you're reluctant to do so, and talk you through things until you get comfortable. And, as suggested above, don't be afraid to ask for him to go slow, undress, let you caress him or whatever else will get you over your initial jitters. Yeah, you will have some experiences that are disappointing. Two of my experiences have actually left me feeling somewhat less confident than when I started -- one downright humiliated (ATL). But, you'll also meet some guys who will help make you feel awesome. (I hired David Benjamin just last night. A truly amazing man in every way. Review to follow, but if you're ever in DC or he's ever in your area, hire him!!) There are lots and lots of roses among the thorns.

 

Don't mean to offend anyone, I just feel as though the "you only hire me for my time, everything else is optional" canard is downright insulting to those of us who invest significant resources in hiring and meeting a bunch of (usually) wonderful guys.

 

YMMV.

 

 

Agreed. Juan's view not withstanding, the "my time only" usually functions as a a CYA disclaimer that would probably be found to be without legal effect because the advertisement in which it occurs constitutes a more or less explicit offer of sex.

[Juan Vancouver]

I don't understand escorts who resent being objectified

 

Don't know if you are talking about me as well, but if you are, let me clarify. I have absolutely no problem with being fetishized, seen as a desired partner, even having sexual and other type of attributes being projected unto me. That comes with the territory and it can make the whole experience much more fun. My whole advertising and brand relies precisely in fomenting that.

 

As per this definition: "Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object, without regard to their personality or dignity." I personally don't resent being objectified. I don't take offence by it. But I do know that I have absolutely no interest in spending time with anyone who is willing to treat me as an object with no regard to my humanity or personal dignity.

 

No judgment if you are into that. I know many people who are. It's just not for me. Especially not when I am doing a work that I love and enjoy.

 

There is a bit of unresolved tension between the RB ad and Juan's content on this forum.

 

Absolutely no unresolved anything here. I very clearly highlight many of my talents and qualities. Some of them are sexual qualities, some of them are companionship qualities, some of them are more specialized kind of qualities. My HOURLY rate, which is the amount of money I charge for my time, reflects what I charge for.

 

It is possible your views (as well as mine) might be heavily influenced by the countries in which we live. Money for time in your country is a loophole and disclaimer that has the intention of preventing an arrest when you are committing a punishable offence. Escorting, however you see it is illegal in most states.

 

In Canada, however, escorting is a perfectly legal and licensed profession. We get licensed by city hall, we pay our taxes from our escorting income. In my country the laws about escorting are very specific. I am not allowed to charge for a hand job or anal. I can only charge for my time. When my client and I come together, if we are both healthy, clean, ready and polite, as two adults we are expected to negotiate how we can spend our time together. This might include sexual activities, but in no way is any escort obliged to put out because the client paid. This is not a loophole, it's a very wise and humane legal tool that forces clients to treat the escort with dignity and respect the escort's ability to give consent or withhold it. If a client pays for an hour and then forces himself on to the escort that constitutes rape because in no way is the client entitled to anything aside from spending time with the escort.

 

I sell my companionship, and very often, when it is honoured and respected, this evolves into a very enjoyable sexual play. But If I meet you I am in no way obliged to provide you any sexual act. This is not a disclaimer, not a loophole.

I find this incredibly disrespectful to the client community.

 

I am sorry that you feel like this, but I can assure you this is not disrespectful to the whole entire client community. There's thousands of clients who are perfectly willing to be respectful and honouring and who understand that the escorts they are meeting are human beings that are willingly sharing their intimacy with them. They are perfectly okay with the concept of showing up prepared and healthy, being kind and respectful and knowing that intimacy is something that evolves organically. Funnily enough, it's often with these kind of clients that sex goes to the funnest, most exciting extremes

 

I would like to make an unequivocal announcement to you and everyone who reads this. If what you are interested is in buying sexual acts or sexual fluids, please do not contact me. We are a terrible match and you will be disappointed. I am a really good fuck, but I do not charge for sex; I have sex for free with people who respect me and honour me.

 

On the other hand,

 

If what you are looking for is a intimate experience with another whole human being that might involve sex, companionship, intimacy, play, travel, etc, please do contact me. I am really wanting to hear from you. I think we would have a really good time because we are a great match.

 

Don't mean to offend anyone, I just feel as though the "you only hire me for my time, everything else is optional" canard is downright insulting to those of us who invest significant resources in hiring and meeting a bunch of (usually) wonderful guys.

 

It's not insulting. It's just a mater of finding a right match. We are definitely not a good one and I sincerely hope you will find many hot, fun exciting guys that will be willing to do what you want them to do.

 

Just because you want, expect or demand something it doesn't necessarily make it right for everyone else.

 

My sweet grandma used to say "Variety is the spice of life. Just remember some spices give your diarrhoea, so stay away from those."

[+ WhamIAm]

Respectfully, your postings and your advertisements are Venus and Mars.

 

And, trust me, I am completely "respectful and honouring and who understand that the escorts they are meeting are human beings that are willingly sharing their intimacy with them. They are perfectly okay with the concept of showing up prepared and healthy, being kind and respectful and knowing that intimacy is something that evolves organically." I also like transparency in advertising. Have you ever thought of putting the thoughts and words above in your ads, i.e., "When we come together, if we are both healthy, clean, ready and polite, as two adults we will negotiate how we can spend our time together. This might include sexual activities, but in no way am I obliged to engage in those activities in order to receive my fee."

 

Be well

[Rudynate]

Don't know if you are talking about me as well, but if you are, let me clarify. I have absolutely no problem with being fetishized, seen as a desired partner, even having sexual and other type of attributes being projected unto me. That comes with the territory and it can make the whole experience much more fun. My whole advertising and brand relies precisely in fomenting that.

 

As per this definition: "Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object, without regard to their personality or dignity." I personally don't resent being objectified. I don't take offence by it. But I do know that I have absolutely no interest in spending time with anyone who is willing to treat me as an object with no regard to my humanity or personal dignity.

 

No judgment if you are into that. I know many people who are. It's just not for me. Especially not when I am doing a work that I love and enjoy.

 

 

 

I'm glad you clarified. For my own part, I would never debase or dehumanize an escort. Even though I am mostly interested in sex from escorts, for me, it doen't get much better than two men deriving sexual pleasure from each other. When I am in the moment with the right man, I feel as though I'm doing what I was placed on this earth to do. A man who makes his living helping other men feel that way is a special creature indeed.

[Juan Vancouver]

Respectfully, your postings and your advertisements are Venus and Mars.

 

I realize that you think that, and I really appreciate that you dissent in such a polite manner. I have no problem with diverging opinions and I celebrate them because we can only grow by seeing things in way others do. Thank you for your input.

 

However, in this instance I don't see any conflict between my position and my ad, because:

 

I also like transparency in advertising. Have you ever thought of putting the thoughts and words above in your ads, i.e., "When we come together, if we are both healthy, clean, ready and polite, as two adults we will negotiate how we can spend our time together. This might include sexual activities, but in no way am I obliged to engage in those activities in order to receive my fee."

 

Any person who has booked a session with me or tried to book a session with me will attest to the fact that I always ask to have a conversation to confirm the session. In that conversation -every time- I go to great lengths to clarify that I am not in a position to sell, promise or negotiate sex acts or bodily fluids, that because of the laws regarding my profession I can only charge for my time. However, I also stress the fact that I am a very sexual person, love having sex and if we are both clean, ready, healthy, respectful and if we negotiate as adults our limits during the session, it is very likely sex will happen and it will be very fun. But that is in no way part of what I sell or charge for.

 

If the prospective client answers "Yeah, but you must definitely_____ or I won't pay you" then I have no problem kindly letting him know that we are not a good match and we should not meet. If that is not transparency I don't know what transparency is.

 

A few members of this forum have tried to book a session with me and were outraged by what I told them on the phone. Needless to say we were not able to meet. To this day some of them regard me as the devil. I'm fine with that because nobody could or should aspire to be liked by everyone.

 

Most people, however, understand how fair this is, and considering my reviews, which make it very clear that I love to put out, they readily agree to show up ready and respectful with an open mind to have a good time. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that we do. We have an amazing time.

 

I am very good to tell these two kinds on the phone, and 98 percent of the time I meet with wonderful people who are a perfect match to me and we have a fucking riot. That's another reason I am so open about this in this forum because people who will be outraged by this will simply not contact me. And that saves time for all of us.

 

I love to put out, I love to have fun, I fucking love sex and sensuality and intimacy and interpersonal interactions, but to me this has to happen coming from an honouring of each other's humanity and personality. I will not treat my clients like a John, I will not meet with clients who see me as a dick for hire.

 

It works fantastically for those who are looking for the same kind of experience. It works for me.

[MiamiLooker]

Respectfully, your postings and your advertisements are Venus and Mars.

 

And, trust me, I am completely "respectful and honouring and who understand that the escorts they are meeting are human beings that are willingly sharing their intimacy with them. They are perfectly okay with the concept of showing up prepared and healthy, being kind and respectful and knowing that intimacy is something that evolves organically." I also like transparency in advertising. Have you ever thought of putting the thoughts and words above in your ads, i.e., "When we come together, if we are both healthy, clean, ready and polite, as two adults we will negotiate how we can spend our time together. This might include sexual activities, but in no way am I obliged to engage in those activities in order to receive my fee."

 

Be well

 

I was curious if the response to your post was going to be honest and believable or just more BS.

[Guy Fawkes]

Thank-you Juan; You have jut proudly proclaimed the essence of the website.

 

Just because I know there are many men who sell "love" for money or sex for money, doesn't mean that I am open to do so myself. All escorts consciously or not have to decide which areas of escorting they will practice and which they won't. I do not sell sex. Ever. If you want to buy sex from me you will be disappointed. I sell my companionship, and very often, when it is honored and respected, this evolves into a very enjoyable sexual play. But If I meet you I am in no way obliged to provide you any sexual act. This is not a disclaimer, not a loophole.

[BaronArtz]

Thank-you Juan; You have jut proudly proclaimed the essence of the website.

 

Thank you for saying that. I wish more clients would understand it and act accordingly.

[Guest Starbuck]

Again (and again and again) we are reminded of what it sounded like when Bill Clinton told us, "It depends what the definition of 'is' is."