Hey Doc, I suck cock

[maninsoma]

I understand that but for a Holter monitor?

 

I think there is a trend in the health care field to ask certain questions even if they aren't related to the presenting problem. I know that my doctor's office asks questions related to sexual behavior, drug and alcohol use, and exercise habits on a regular basis. Quite honestly, I think that's good practice. I still cannot believe that I regularly saw a doctor when I was in my early thirties and not once did he mention the alarming rate at which I was gaining weight.

[Guest]

I once went through a long span of time without sex. my doctor kept asking if I had sex every time I went in for an exam, test for everything under the sun and then some. I angrily confronted my doctor as why he kept ordering these expensive lab tests. He told me, my other patients lie to me.

Take me at my word. don't lump me in with all the others.

 

Sex and drug histories are notoriously unreliable. I think that a more tactful way for the doctor to have responded would be to say "Unfortunately, many patients are not up-front about their sexual and drug histories, and I've learned that I cannot tell just by looking at a patient. As a physician, I have to be thorough and explore all reasonable possibilities." I've certainly come up with many positive pregnancy and STD tests in patients who assured me they hadn't had sex in over a year (or ever). In fact, patients who are stupid enough to lie to their doctors also tend to do other stupid things as well, such as not wear condoms.

Probably the biggest mistake I made of all time was over 20 years ago, when I was the attending physician in the hospital for a patient with pneumonia. I took him at his word that he never had sex with men or did IV drugs, so I didn't check for HIV (back then, it was very rare outside of the gay or IV drug using population). The patient did better, and I sent him home, but he came back 3 days later, at which time I did do a rapid HIV test and found out that the patient actually had AIDS with what was then called PCP pneumonia (he ended up doing fine, but it could have ended up a disaster). Yes, it helps when patients tell the truth. One wise patient once told me he goes by the saying "Never lie to your doctor or to your lawyer" (which is excellent advice, since both conversations are protected). That being said, a physician who can't conceive of his patient lying to him is going to get burned eventually. I don't think it was appropriate for you to confront your doctor angrily. His actions probably came from a place of experience and thoroughness.

[sincitymix]

Sex and drug histories are notoriously unreliable. I think that a more tactful way for the doctor to have responded would be to say "Unfortunately, many patients are not up-front about their sexual and drug histories, and I've learned that I cannot tell just by looking at a patient. As a physician, I have to be thorough and explore all reasonable possibilities." I've certainly come up with many positive pregnancy and STD tests in patients who assured me they hadn't had sex in over a year (or ever). In fact, patients who are stupid enough to lie to their doctors also tend to do other stupid things as well, such as not wear condoms.

Probably the biggest mistake I made of all time was over 20 years ago, when I was the attending physician in the hospital for a patient with pneumonia. I took him at his word that he never had sex with men or did IV drugs, so I didn't check for HIV (back then, it was very rare outside of the gay or IV drug using population). The patient did better, and I sent him home, but he came back 3 days later, at which time I did do a rapid HIV test and found out that the patient actually had AIDS with what was then called PCP pneumonia (he ended up doing fine, but it could have ended up a disaster). Yes, it helps when patients tell the truth. One wise patient once told me he goes by the saying "Never lie to your doctor or to your lawyer" (which is excellent advice, since both conversations are protected). That being said, a physician who can't conceive of his patient lying to him is going to get burned eventually. I don't think it was appropriate for you to confront your doctor angrily. His actions probably came from a place of experience and thoroughness.

True. I am very sure he did have my best interest in mind, but I have always told my doctor the truth, I am a firm believer that you have to tell your Dr the honest truth, otherwise how can they care for you properly.

It was just a frustrating time at that point, getting lab bills in the hundreds of dollars, and test after test kept coming back negative.

[Zman]

I've generally lived in bigger cities including New York and LA. I've always been out to my personal physician but I've not personally found that a gay one made me more comfortable than a straight one. In general I think it is hard to find a doctor. I was lucky enough to have a great one in the city I used to live in. I liked him so much that I considered going back to see him even though he's about 100 miles away. I generally only need to visit once or twice a year. But I had a mediocre experience with a local "Doc-in-box" and I'm think I really need to find a good local physician. But it's not easy even with online reviews and such.

[+ purplekow]

But it's not easy even with online reviews and such.

I have only seen a few of the reviews of my professional services. I stopped looking at them because they were extreme and usually represented unique events, not representative of the services as a whole. The good ones were effusive and went overboard. The bad, well, they were extreme as well.

[Rudynate]

I don't think it was appropriate for you to confront your doctor angrily. His actions probably came from a place of experience and thoroughness.

 

Disagree. While the doctor's actions probably came from a place of experience and thoroughness, he was also not being transparent. And he paid the cost for the lack of transparency.

[Rudynate]

I've generally lived in bigger cities including New York and LA. I've always been out to my personal physician but I've not personally found that a gay one made me more comfortable than a straight one. In general I think it is hard to find a doctor. I was lucky enough to have a great one in the city I used to live in. I liked him so much that I considered going back to see him even though he's about 100 miles away. I generally only need to visit once or twice a year. But I had a mediocre experience with a local "Doc-in-box" and I'm think I really need to find a good local physician. But it's not easy even with online reviews and such.

 

 

I have found that I need to personally like my doc. When I like him, I am more candid with him, I follow his instructions more readily, and I go see him more often because I'm glad to see him. I see a PCP and two different specialists on a regular basis. I like them all and have a very productive relationship with each. It's taken years to assemble a team that I like. They are all straight, BTW.

[Zapped]

Yesterday I went to pick up an order to have blood drawn before my checkup. I noticed there was nothing indicated for an HIV test so I went back and asked if I was correct. The woman at the desk said she'd have to ask the doctor. "That's not usual," she pronounced. I almost said, "when you are doing blood work on a sexually active gay man, it is usual and that's why we've done it every other time I've had my blood drawn." But I just gave her an irritated look.

[+ WmClarke]

Going for my annual physical today, and don't think I have the nerve to tell my doc about my new sex life (only been active since March 2014).

 

I have no problem telling her. It's the notes in my file that lots of other people can see. It's all electronic and working in IT has made me paranoid about data breaches.

 

Maybe next year I'll stoke up the courage enough....