Phone etiquette?

[Guest]

Although I have the service which is supposed to block anonymous calls, I still get a bunch of calls which the caller ID lists as "Unknown" or "California caller" or something similar. When I answer the phone, the caller usually says either "May I speak with Unicorn?" or "May I speak with Unicorn's partner?", without identifying himself. I find that rude and will immediately hang up on anyone who doesn't start the call with something along the lines of "Hello. This is Mr. John Doe from the Nature Conservancy. May I speak with Unicorn?". Is there a way to have all incoming calls be greeted with the message "Any caller not identifying himself on the initial greeting will be immediately hung up on"? How do you guys handle it?

[bigvalboy]

Although I have the service which is supposed to block anonymous calls, I still get a bunch of calls which the caller ID lists as "Unknown" or "California caller" or something similar. When I answer the phone, the caller usually says either "May I speak with Unicorn?" or "May I speak with Unicorn's partner?", without identifying himself. I find that rude and will immediately hang up on anyone who doesn't start the call with something along the lines of "Hello. This is Mr. John Doe from the Nature Conservancy. May I speak with Unicorn?". Is there a way to have all incoming calls be greeted with the message "Any caller not identifying himself on the initial greeting will be immediately hung up on"? How do you guys handle it?

 

Not sure how you could have every incoming call greeted with a your message. I agree, I would hang up also. I don't get many unsolicited calls, but one came through on my land line the other day. I always let it go to voice mail, but I answered it, and they did the same thing, "May I speak with BVB" ...I just hung up.

 

I get very few unsolicited calls anymore. I have several phone #'s, and I am very careful who gets my cell #, so when someone calls they are usually in my contacts, and I know who they are. Usually friends and family. My other numbers are designated for various purposes. None of my numbers are listed. I did that once....big mistake. I got solicitation calls from business 3-4 times a day.

 

[+ FreshFluff]

Although I have the service which is supposed to block anonymous calls, I still get a bunch of calls which the caller ID lists as "Unknown" or "California caller" or something similar. When I answer the phone, the caller usually says either "May I speak with Unicorn?" or "May I speak with Unicorn's partner?", without identifying himself. I find that rude and will immediately hang up on anyone who doesn't start the call with something along the lines of "Hello. This is Mr. John Doe from the Nature Conservancy. May I speak with Unicorn?". Is there a way to have all incoming calls be greeted with the message "Any caller not identifying himself on the initial greeting will be immediately hung up on"? How do you guys handle it?

 

If it's a telemarketer (from an organization other than one your partner supports), I simply answer "Please put me on your Do Not Call List" and hang up.

[gallahadesquire]

If I had a phone call to gallahadesquire, I'd hang up. If it were to Mrs Gallahadesquire, I'd head for the hills.

[Kevin Slater]

Although I have the service which is supposed to block anonymous calls, I still get a bunch of calls which the caller ID lists as "Unknown" or "California caller" or something similar. When I answer the phone, the caller usually says either "May I speak with Unicorn?" or "May I speak with Unicorn's partner?", without identifying himself. I find that rude and will immediately hang up on anyone who doesn't start the call with something along the lines of "Hello. This is Mr. John Doe from the Nature Conservancy. May I speak with Unicorn?". Is there a way to have all incoming calls be greeted with the message "Any caller not identifying himself on the initial greeting will be immediately hung up on"? How do you guys handle it?

 

Google voice (which I believe you can forward to any other number) has a feature that requires the caller to identify herself before the call is completed. I find it annoying as hell, but it may be close to what you're asking for.

 

Kevin Slater

[robberbaron4u]

Regretfully, bad form in etiquette and manner is the rule of our day. If you have a servant, a telephoned call is answered with, "Mr. Burnside's house; Jeeters speaking. To whom do you wish to speak? The caller replies, "May I speak with Mr. Burnside"; if Burnside does not wish to accept the call, the caller if informed, "Mr. Burnside is not at home; may I take a message". "At home" is a old, and, very useful, tool of etiquette. It does not necessarily imply that Mr. Burnside is not at home in body; rather, that he is not receiving guests or visitors at that moment; no offense given or taken. In the old days, the caller would then leave his card with the proper corner turned down and take his leave. And, yes, calling cards had a "language" of their own.

[+ azdr0710]

currently, the most bothersome unsolicited phone calls I get (and I'm sure many of you get them, too) have that two-or-so-second delay before somebody says something...obviously, the caller's computer is IDing me to the salesperson in that short period so he/she can address me by my name....after two quick "hello"s, I usually hang up in time before they even say "hi" because any regular call from a friend is replied to immediately after I say "hello", of course.....

 

registering with the federal "Do Not Call" registry seems to be unsuccessful for some solicitation types.....

 

otherwise, I'm usually polite with salespeople, but quickly say that I'm not interested....these people are just doing their job for somebody else higher up

[+ Charlie]

As soon as an unfamiliar voice asks to speak to X (often using my first name, which immediately raises my hackles), I always ask who is calling. If the speaker identifies himself from an organization with which I am familiar (usually one to which I have contributed something in the past), I normally let them make at least a short spiel before I say, "I'm sorry, but I can't give anything right now," and hope they will say thank you and hang up. I recently had a caller who was so persistent that I blew up at her and told her that she had just insured that I would never contribute to the organization again. If it is from an organization I am not familiar with, I interrupt immediately and say, "Sorry, but I don't contribute to any organization I don't know that solicits over the phone. Please don't call again. Good-bye," and I hang up. If it is an "offer" (free medical devices or solar installations are very popular right now), I immediately interrupt and say, "I'm not interested. Don't call again," and hang up. If it is a recording, I don't even bother to hear who it's from before hanging up.

 

Even the ID that just says "unknown" or gives only a location, gives a phone number, which I ignore if it is not familiar, but when the same one appears again and again, I usually answer and tell them to stop calling. Unfortunately, that doesn't often work, but it lets me vent. I am also on the the official "don't call" list, but it doesn't seem to be very effective.

[+ deej]

Although I have the service which is supposed to block anonymous calls, I still get a bunch of calls which the caller ID lists as "Unknown" or "California caller" or something similar. When I answer the phone, the caller usually says either "May I speak with Unicorn?" or "May I speak with Unicorn's partner?", without identifying himself. I find that rude and will immediately hang up on anyone who doesn't start the call with something along the lines of "Hello. This is Mr. John Doe from the Nature Conservancy. May I speak with Unicorn?". Is there a way to have all incoming calls be greeted with the message "Any caller not identifying himself on the initial greeting will be immediately hung up on"? How do you guys handle it?

 

I've been roughly as liberal as a Klingon about incoming phone calls for 20 years. The call must DESERVE to get through!

 

But when one does get through, and it's immediately obvious that it's one of those junk marketing calls I ask, in a sultry voice, "what are you wearing?"

 

It's usually the end. (And once in a rare while you get a taker and it's a hoot.)

[foxy]

Asking the caller what they are wearing is a great way to handle it.

[+ deej]

I find if you ask the caller what they are wearing they usually hang up on me.

 

Kinda the goal.

[+ FreshFluff]

Regretfully, bad form in etiquette and manner is the rule of our day. If you have a servant, a telephoned call is answered with, "Mr. Burnside's house; Jeeters speaking. To whom do you wish to speak? The caller replies, "May I speak with Mr. Burnside"; if Burnside does not wish to accept the call, the caller if informed, "Mr. Burnside is not at home; may I take a message". "At home" is a old, and, very useful, tool of etiquette. It does not necessarily imply that Mr. Burnside is not at home in body; rather, that he is not receiving guests or visitors at that moment; no offense given or taken.

 

Robberbaron, it's too bad this system disappeared well before you were born. I could see you waking up from a nap and finding a pile of calling cards on the table in the foyer.

 

In the old days, the caller would then leave his card with the proper corner turned down and take his leave.

 

I found this:

 

• A visit in person (as opposed to being sent by a servant): the right hand upper corner
  
• A congratulatory visit: the left hand upper corner
  
• A condolence visit: the left hand lower corner
  
• Taking leave (if you were going on a long trip): right hand lower corner
  
• If there were two of more ladies in the household, the gentleman turned down a corner of the card to indicate that the call was designed for the whole family.
  

 

I'll bet gay gentlemen had a lot of fun with this system. For example, a calling card rolled lengthwise would indicate that a top had called. And, if the caller was unattractive, the servant would fold the card into a dog shape.

[+ FreshFluff]

currently, the most bothersome unsolicited phone calls I get (and I'm sure many of you get them, too) have that two-or-so-second delay before somebody says something...obviously, the caller's computer is IDing me to the salesperson in that short period so he/she can address me by my name....after two quick "hello"s, I usually hang up in time before they even say "hi" because any regular call from a friend is replied to immediately after I say "hello", of course.....

 

Yeah, that annoys me too. I think the cause of the delay is that the when the computer detects a live line (not a hangup), it passes the call to one of the human telemarketers. So there may be no one on the line during those few seconds.

[+ poolboy48220]

If they ask to speak for Mr Poolboy, I usually ask "Who's this?" But I do like the "What are you wearing?" approach better, I think I'm going to start using that.

[actor61]

As soon as an unfamiliar voice asks to speak to X (often using my first name, which immediately raises my hackles), I always ask who is calling. If the speaker identifies himself from an organization with which I am familiar (usually one to which I have contributed something in the past), I normally let them make at least a short spiel before I say, "I'm sorry, but I can't give anything right now," and hope they will say thank you and hang up. I recently had a caller who was so persistent that I blew up at her and told her that she had just insured that I would never contribute to the organization again. If it is from an organization I am not familiar with, I interrupt immediately and say, "Sorry, but I don't contribute to any organization I don't know that solicits over the phone. Please don't call again. Good-bye," and I hang up. If it is an "offer" (free medical devices or solar installations are very popular right now), I immediately interrupt and say, "I'm not interested. Don't call again," and hang up. If it is a recording, I don't even bother to hear who it's from before hanging up.

 

Even the ID that just says "unknown" or gives only a location, gives a phone number, which I ignore if it is not familiar, but when the same one appears again and again, I usually answer and tell them to stop calling. Unfortunately, that doesn't often work, but it lets me vent. I am also on the the official "don't call" list, but it doesn't seem to be very effective.

 

I'm moving across the country this fall and sought out moving companies a few weeks ago so that I could get some quotes and an idea of what services were offered. I registered online with a service that then gives your info to various companies and my phone started ringing off the hook. One representative was an English woman who was so aggressively familiar that I became very angry. She addressed me as "sweetie", "honey," "darling" and asked me personal questions that bordered on inappropriate. The other 4 companies that called were just as aggressive and persistent in their own ways. I ended up getting a quote from a pleasant young woman (the least bothersome of the callers) and told her that I wouldn't be committing to a moving date until I had heard from my employer. She has called me almost daily ever since and starts each call with, "Hi (my first name), it's (her name). Has your boss set a date yet?"

 

Who teaches these people? Are they instructed to be chirpy, aggressive, persistent, overly familiar and obnoxious? Or are these qualities in their personalities and that's how they get hired?

 

Thank goodness for caller ID.

[robberbaron4u]

The silver salver in my home has not received a card in a good many years. Some years ago, a friend acquired the calling card "collection" of Grace Graham Vanderbilt, a lady who ruled New York "Society" for half a century from her pilazzo at 640 Fifth Avenue. Several thousand cards comprised the collection which Mrs. Vanderbilt's social secretary had filed alphabetically in card index file boxes. Everybody who was anybody called at Mrs. Vanderbilt's door, from the Crown Prince of Germany to Theodore Roosvelt to Lillian Gish and left his or her card; he has made a good second "living" selling the cards to collectors.

[+ friendofsheila]

If they ask to speak for Mr Poolboy, I usually ask "Who's this?" But I do like the "What are you wearing?" approach better, I think I'm going to start using that.

 

I do the same ("Who is calling?").

[gp0560]

Regretfully, bad form in etiquette and manner is the rule of our day. If you have a servant, a telephoned call is answered with, "Mr. Burnside's house; Jeeters speaking. To whom do you wish to speak? The caller replies, "May I speak with Mr. Burnside"; if Burnside does not wish to accept the call, the caller if informed, "Mr. Burnside is not at home; may I take a message". "At home" is a old, and, very useful, tool of etiquette. It does not necessarily imply that Mr. Burnside is not at home in body; rather, that he is not receiving guests or visitors at that moment; no offense given or taken. In the old days, the caller would then leave his card with the proper corner turned down and take his leave. And, yes, calling cards had a "language" of their own.

 

We yearn, do we not, for the days of rampant civility?

[BaronArtz]

Regretfully, bad form in etiquette and manner is the rule of our day. If you have a servant, a telephoned call is answered with, "Mr. Burnside's house; Jeeters speaking. To whom do you wish to speak? The caller replies, "May I speak with Mr. Burnside"; if Burnside does not wish to accept the call, the caller if informed, "Mr. Burnside is not at home; may I take a message". "At home" is a old, and, very useful, tool of etiquette. It does not necessarily imply that Mr. Burnside is not at home in body; rather, that he is not receiving guests or visitors at that moment; no offense given or taken. In the old days, the caller would then leave his card with the proper corner turned down and take his leave. And, yes, calling cards had a "language" of their own.

 

RobberBaron, may I ask what the etiquette for 'proper corner turned down' is? Which corner of the calling card is it? Is the corner turned upwards or backwards? Thank you.

[Frankly Rich]

What about every doctor's office staff calling you by your first name all of the time? Is it overreacting to dislike that?

(Sorry, I couldn't add to the phone conversation since I don't answer if I don't know who's calling.)