New Years' Eve Disappointment/New Years 2014 For Five Minutes: What to do Next...?

[+ Axiom2001]

For much of 2013, I've been seeing a big dicked, uncut ASIAN escort in San Francisco. In fact, most of his reviews here at http://www.daddysreviews.com have come from me, and during the time that I've been seeing him, he and I have had the 'best of times.' In most instances while we've enjoyed our time together, I've relayed to him that "each time had gotten better and better." This particular night was "NO EXCEPTION!"

 

Well, let me cut to the chase." This past New Year's Eve, we had confirmed a two hour at his apartment. I arrived and went through our pleasant and warming perfunctory greetings. Both of us did our usual 420 which has, in the past, enhanced our time/sex. On this special evening, we did the same and were really into each other for about thirty five to forty minutes; I don't know how long, for whatever time it was, we both enjoyed what was happening. I know that I certainly did. When I asked him to retire to the bed, he did but DID NOT do as much as when he was in an assortment of positions previously. At one point while we lay together, he'd wanted to talk, but I'd wanted him to "tear up" my nips with his mouth which he'd done so, so outstandingly in the past. I'd wanted him to "suck me into oblivion" as well which he'd performed with such alacrity during our previous encounters. Instead of his doing either of these naturally and spontaneously, he asked me what was wrong. I relayed that I was NOT having fun. In my having smoked, I did not want to say anything which might have been misconstrued, so I did not discuss this situation any further or candidly. I arose from the bed, dressed, asked him what would his fee be for 1.5 hours. He was in a strange, upright position on the bed and stated that he would not accept anything from me. I insisted briefly then decided to accept what he'd presented. We said our good-byes; I left in an acutely disappointed, perplexed state. I could NOT believe what had happened, for this particular man and I had 'clicked rather well' during our previous times, three at his apartment, the other times in hotel rooms. In fact, he and another guy had been my prime 'get-to-gethers' during much of 2013, and earlier that evening he'd thanked me for wanting to share time with him on this night.

 

My QUESTION here to you guys is: What would you do now? What's the next step? I want to write him a sincere email [since my head and thoughts are 100% lucid] and tell him that in spite of what happened between the ending of 2013 and the beginning of 2014, I'm interested in seeing him again. I also would like to ask "if my body" was a turn-off to him two nights ago. I really can't determine why he ceased being affectionate and active, for we "were into each other" for a while, and I'd intended to get more involved and sexual as our time progressed.

 

During our brief conversation while lying together, I told him that he was "inactive" thus I was not enjoying myself. He responded but I can't remember what had been stated. What would you men suggest from what's written above! Advanced thanks to you are in order! Axiom

[+ Archer]

My advice, based on your narrative above, is to stop using drugs. It seems that your memory is being affected since you state that you "can't remember what had been stated" in your brief conversation while lying together.

[excelntsvc]

I second Archer's comment

and guy, really ... time to realize that every time is not going to be more incredible than the time before ... seems you were looking for real aggression and maybe he was in a nice soulful New Year's Eve fuck mood

[adriano46]

Axiom, not sure what advice we can give -- you are way more experienced in escorts than I would be, and I never ever meet a guy who uses drugs (and I surely don't).

 

I would write or preferably call and speak to the escort in question sooner than later, explain that you are not sure what occurred (without throwing blame at him, as you cannot remember what you did and what he did... no need for useless recriminations). You may have - induced by drugs - offended him, or said something... or even heaven forbid, not been as clean down below as needed... and that dampened the moment (or evening).

 

The way it ended with him not wanting anything from you could mean two things: a) he still respects you, or worse, b) he was very much insulted by you.

[MiamiLooker]

I wouldn’t make a big deal to him about it. I’d simply mention that he didn’t seem to be into the last session, but you’d like to give it another try if he’s up for it.

[MiamiLooker]

...and I never ever meet a guy who uses drugs (and I surely don't).

How do you know your hire doesn't have a buzz going on for your session?

[adriano46]

I can tell - worked in the past in medical field. If I think he has a buzz, session is over before it starts... no exceptions.

[imrthr]

Hilarious

 

My advice, based on your narrative above, is to stop using drugs. It seems that your memory is being affected since you state that you "can't remember what had been stated" in your brief conversation while lying together.

-

 

Hilarious !

 

Another thing, oftentimes "fire goes out" on a relationship. This could be the reason for the less than great experience.

[+ azdr0710]

I don't know much about drugs, but could he have done some other stuff before you got there which mixed with the pot in some bad way??....

 

or...

 

it could be something entirely unrelated to the pot since you say you always had done it in the past.....

 

I really like Adriano's and MiamiLooker's advice

[+ Axiom2001]

I wouldn’t make a big deal to him about it. I’d simply mention that he didn’t seem to be into the last session, but you’d like to give it another try if he’s up for it.

 

Thanks to all for the advice rendered here. I think I'll send him an email this evening, taking on the aforementioned advice of Miami! My escort amigo seemed to be in the "right head" prior to our first deep kiss and up until we moved to another part of the room. He refused his fee because he stated that he had not satisfied me or some sorts, and in terms of conversation, I can't remember everything during these days w/wo 420! Thanks away, men! Usually I am not this candid with folks I do not personally know!

[Diverdan]

If you have his telephone number, I would suggest talking to him rather than an email. You can tell a lot by the way someone talks to you... other than that humble advise, you probably know better than anyone how to approach this situation.

DD

[+ Funguy]

Glad you mentioned the "420". I have seen in the past some weed has been laced. Was this yours or his?

Always be careful when there has been an unusual result, and this could have been: you in one frame of mind, he in another.

 

Funguy

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

and guy, really ... time to realize that every time is not going to be more incredible than the time before ... seems you were looking for real aggression and maybe he was in a nice soulful New Year's Eve fuck mood

 

My first choice of escort is almost always good, but frequently incredible. I'm just glad that I stop hiring him the one time that we didn't click.

 

Give him a ring and talk.

[+ poolboy48220]

There's a duo I've seen several times when they are in town, the last time I saw them one of the guys didn't seem into it that much. I emailed thanking them for the session and asked if everything was okay, that he hadn't seemed his usual self. he thanked me for asking and apologized, he had some money troubles that had him pretty down & distracted.

 

Sometimes it's got nothing to do with us.

[bigvalboy]

I wouldn’t make a big deal to him about it. I’d simply mention that he didn’t seem to be into the last session, but you’d like to give it another try if he’s up for it.

 

 

I agree with ML. I think that often times, especially while under the influence we perceive situations differently than they actually are. There was obviously little communication that night. Perhaps a quick email would straighten all of this out. I definitely would not overreact. You also might wait a few days till some of this blows over before contacting him. IMO..Keep it simple, and don't over think this.

[rvwnsd]

...My QUESTION here to you guys is:...

 

Before we get to answering your question, I want to throw out an idea to you. It sounds like you were very affected by the pot you and your escort shared. It is possible he was also affected, but instead of becoming aggressive he became very mellow, which is not uncommon.

 

 

...What would you do now? What's the next step? I want to write him a sincere email [since my head and thoughts are 100% lucid] and tell him that in spite of what happened between the ending of 2013 and the beginning of 2014, I'm interested in seeing him again...

 

I would phrase it something like this: "I'm not sure what happened New Year's Eve, but I want to let you know I still want to get together with you. I love how aggressive you can be and hope we are both in an aggressive mood next time."

 

...I also would like to ask "if my body" was a turn-off to him two nights ago...

 

I would not ask him that question. He could feel like he is being put on the defensive. There is a host of things that could have occurred, such as he got tired, pot mellowed him out (as I said, that can and often does happen), he needed to take a break, or who knows what else.

 

...During our brief conversation while lying together, I told him that he was "inactive" thus I was not enjoying myself. He responded but I can't remember what had been stated. What would you men suggest from what's written above! Advanced thanks to you are in order! Axiom

 

If you can't remember what he said to you, he might not remember, either. I would suggest that you not use any mind-altering substance, whether it is pot, alcohol, or any other substance, when having sex with anyone.

[+ purplekow]

Axiom, It sounds to me that you were an asshole to a man you have hired numerous times and who has given nothing but excellent service. Perhaps you being high is the excuse for that, but whatever the reason, it certainly could have been handled more humanely. Now you want to hire this man again. Well, hire him for crying out loud. He is after all an escort and a professional one at that, so he is likely to overlook your rude behavior and return. If he does not, I would let it go, probably with an apology for past behavior and then move on.

Male escorts are used to dealing with assholes of all types. Most of them know how to handle them. Chances are you are making a bigger deal of this than he is. Good luck.

[+ newatthis]

...Sometimes it's got nothing to do with us.

Keeping that thought in mind makes for a much happier life. I can't count the times in which I tied myself in knots over a situation only to discover that it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with something else going on in the other person's life at the time.

[+ Axiom2001]

Glad you mentioned the "420". I have seen in the past some weed has been laced. Was this yours or his?

Always be careful when there has been an unusual result, and this could have been: you in one frame of mind, he in another.

 

Funguy

 

The weed was his; we both smoked from the same batch. In the past 420 has not been a problem when we've been together, and I've seen him over 7Xs during 2013, all very hot times w/o any type of problems!!!

[+ Axiom2001]

Keeping that thought in mind makes for a much happier life. I can't count the times in which I tied myself in knots over a situation only to discover that it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with something else going on in the other person's life at the time.

 

Thanks for this guidance and reassurance. I plan to give this 30ish man a ring tomorrow. [1.4.14]

[bostonnycguy]

Axiom2001, this is a very weird post. You sound like a total whining asshole - sure you can contact the guy again, just do it for God's sake - if the escort has any pride I hope he doesn't respond and makes you move on.

 

Strange....

[+ Funguy]

This forum is for, among other things, support and advice. Bostonnycguy - your post was truly uncalled for. Axiom is a long-time member and poster and your comment was simply mean-spirited.

 

I do, however, suggest that Axiom contact his escort sooner than later. Since he has seen the guy MULTIPLE times with reviews and, by now, should have enough of a relationship that the issue can be discussed and resolved to both of their satisfactions. It is interesting also that he gave us enough info in the opening post that we know who the escort is - perhaps for anyone else to post if they have had the same problem?

 

Last, as others have stated, don't do drugs when you are meeting - whether or not you have done so in the past, you never know what the result may be! Even the most "benign" intoxicants can have untoward effects on one or both parties.

[+ purplekow]

Not for anything funguy, but sometimes support is telling someone when they are being an asshole. And sometimes the best advice is "get over yourself already."

[+ Funguy]

It wasn't so much for Bostonnycguy calling Axiom "a whining asshole" as much as for the second half of the message: "if the escort has any pride I hope he doesn't respond and makes you move on."

 

PK - I think that was pushing it too far.

 

My own feeling, worth only 2 cents, is that Axiom is a long time poster and he has never before posted anything of this nature so he is clearly upset. That sometimes clouds one's judgment in these matters.

 

 

Funguy

[BigK]

My own feeling, worth only 2 cents, is that Axiom is a long time poster and he has never before posted anything of this nature so he is clearly upset. That sometimes clouds one's judgment in these matters.

Funguy

 

I'll add my 2 cents to that view.