any joke retirement gift ideas?.....

[+ azdr0710]

....something more clever and funny than a bottle of Geritol for this straight, married friend of mine....he golfs and hikes a lot...the two of them will be leaving soon on a summer-long fifth-wheel camping trip...a buddy suggested a "day clock", which shows only the days of the week on the face rather than hours and minutes, but I can't find that w/o mail ordering....we're having a simple little get-together Thursday eve and I'd like to find something by then here in my town of a million people with most chain stores available....$10-20 range....not a big deal, but would like to find something pretty original and funny...

 

thanks for your help...appreciate it

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

How about a set of menus from local eating establishments offering "blue plate specials?"

[bigvalboy]

Sorry azdr...I'm trying, but I got nothin...That's a tough one, especially to be original and funny.

[instudiocity]

I'm thinking of giving a retiring couple two gifts: The husband: a gross of condoms hidden in a cigar box. The wife:the cigars hidden in a Trojan XL box. I'm going to ask them which one was used up first, the whole gross of condoms or the cigars?

[M7477]

Why not buy a bicycle tire (just the tube that fits inside and inflates)? You can tell him you bought it because you heard he was getting "re-tired".

[+ purplekow]

Why not buy a bicycle tire (just the tube that fits inside and inflates)? You can tell him you bought it because you heard he was getting "re-tired".

So you want it to be a painful death

[gallahadesquire]

how about a gold watch that doesn't work?

[AdamSmith]

Would an electronic fart machine fit the bill?

 

http://www.thefartmachine.com/images/fm2-c.jpg

 

P.S. Unsuited for gifting but a larf riot is this online version with 91 different sounds:

 

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/soundboards/play/658/

[trilingual]

Maybe a baseball cap or T-shirt with "Retired" on it? I got one when I retired but it's gotten lost somewhere. It was festive -- black with bright colored letters and a kind of confetti background. You should be able to get one made inexpensively at any embroidery shop.