How would you react..

[Griffin Donavon]

I have been escorting for some time, and I'm passionate about my job. I never think about negative things that could happen.. However last night something horrible happened, I don't know how other's would react in the same situation. So I'm asking here..

 

Last night I received a call, the client seemed very professional and nice.. He was apparently in D.C. for business, he came to my hotel and like alway's I never brought the subject of money since it ruins the vibe. He started to take poppers, which is fine by me... However he started to act violent and tried to force it upon me.. I kindly told him I'm not interested, through the whole session he was being very aggressive..

 

Now, at the end of our session he refused to pay for my time.. He said he didn't know he had to pay me, he said he thought it was a hookup site (bullshit). Here was the time my own temper was being tested, not just getting treated like trash he wasn't paying me.. At this point I am pissed inside, however holding the professional image outside.. I explained it was called Rentboy for a reason, he refused to pay.. Saying he didn't know..

 

How would you react? I tell you, it took a lot of will power to show this person Dignity.. I felt exploited and abused.. At the end, I wonder... How would other escorts react someone screwing you like this? I suppose this can go both sides.. However the mental energy and time You put into a client then left empty handed.. I can't describe the feeling, all I did was think about all the beautiful people I have met on this journey, and to not let one horrible person spoil it.. I'm sure this has happened to others, I am just curious how others would handle it or have handled it.. Feel free to post here or private message me.

 

Griffin

[Bosguy]

That guy is a total JERK in every sense of the word. You handled it a lot better than most would have. He leaves such a bad image for professional hiring guys who spend time with professional working guys. Let as many of your guys know about this guy. Don't know if there is a policy for posting specific client names. Check with the with administrators. Better things will come your way

 

Boston Bill

[+ deej]

You felt exploited and abused because you were exploited and abused.

 

This kind of asshat really makes my blood boil. He ruins the business for all of us. It makes fine, upstanding escorts such as yourself distrustful of every client, and it's understandable that you would be!

 

I've been with escorts who have asked to see the money up front and I never hesitate. They've been through this too. If they at least see the money (but don't ask for it) before things get going, they feel it's more likely they'll get paid and I'll go along with it. If it makes that pretty smile a little wider I'm all for it!

 

I suspect if clients reading this forum ever got this miscreant in a dark room he wouldn't fare well.

[+ deej]

Don't know if there is a policy for posting specific client names.

 

There is and you shouldn't. The prime directive is still, and always has been, no personal information in the forum.

[bigvalboy]

You felt exploited and abused because you were exploited and abused.

 

This kind of asshat really makes my blood boil. He ruins the business for all of us. It makes fine, upstanding escorts such as yourself distrustful of every client, and it's understandable that you would be!

 

I've been with escorts who have asked to see the money up front and I never hesitate. They've been through this too. If they at least see the money (but don't ask for it) before things get going, they feel it's more likely they'll get paid and I'll go along with it. If it makes that pretty smile a little wider I'm all for it!

 

I suspect if clients reading this forum ever got this miscreant in a dark room he wouldn't fare well.

 

Well Griffin I am so sorry that you had to go through this. This topic of asking for money up front and how we as clients handle the exchange of money is an endless conversation. Unfortunately there are no easy answers. Some clients hate/ and are suspicious when an escort asks for the money up front, myself included. My policy is that once I arrive, I will reiterate what the cost is and how much time I plan on spending with the escort. They at least know that money is on my mind and I intend on paying, and we are clear as to what the fee is. Something very similar to what deej does. That way the escort is more at ease...

 

I think sometimes you just have to mention the uncomfortable questions up front. In this case, I am guessing that the guy was an A-hole from the beginning and never intended on paying, though he knew full well that this wasn't a hook-up site.

 

You live and learn as they say....Perhaps some escorts will chime in and have some good solutions.

 

In this case or going forward, even though you don't like to mention money, perhaps you could reiterate your fee for time spent, just to let scumbags like the one you had to deal with that it was NOT a freebie.

[+ poolboy48220]

I can't imagine. Hard for me to imagine that someone wouldn't realize that after being on a site called "Rentboy", with an ad that says "You are hiring me for my time", *and* has rates posted...it's a hookup site? How many hookup sites are totally populated with guys who look like you; where are the guys who look like, well...me? It boggles the mind. But you can't go wrong overestimating people's stupidity - assuming he wasn't just crazy. Or planning on being an asshole from the start.

 

Add him to that "bad client" list I've heard of (I can't remember the site link). I share your distaste at discussing the money when he gets there, but maybe discussing it on the phone call, before he arrives? In the context of asking how long of an appointment he'd like, and whether it's incall or outcall, then these are the rates. If he's truly crazy, or malicious, that probably won't help, but it might weed out the totally clueless people.

 

Stories like this make me feel bad for you, and pissed off that this guy is messing with the reputations of clients in general, and by extension my reputation in particular.

[gallahadesquire]

Take his bottle of poppers and either put the liquid down his throat or in his eyes, push him out the door, and call 911.

 

OR

 

give him a viagra / levitra / cialis and tell him to have a few hits of his poppers. His blood pressure should be about 30 / palpable.

[leigh.bess.toad]

I suspect if clients reading this forum ever got this miscreant in a dark room he wouldn't fare well.

 

Deej, you are right. I think he would certainly fare better if he got in a dark room with a few escorts than a few clients, cause people like that really screw it up for guys like me and other posters here. This pisses me off to no end. I know there is some sort of escort blacklist web site for bad clients, but I don't know it. Maybe someone else can post it so Griffin can post his info there at least.

 

Griffin -- I am so sorry this happened. Considering how aggressive he sounded from your post, it's lucky you weren't physically injured. And you certainly shouldn't have elevated into a physical confrontation afterwards, even if he hadn't been aggressive during the appointment. Sadly, I'm not sure what else you could do. And deej is right, the rules on the forum do prevent it, but hopefully someone will post the link to the escort blacklist site so you can post info about him there.

 

As far as paying I think most of the guys here are in a different situation than guys like that. Most of the posters here have reputations with the guys, either prior clients or through reputation, so payment isn't in question. Still, I routinely have the money in an envelope and I place it in plain sight when I get there (i usually do in-calls). Unfortunately, you can't ask for the money upfront with someone you don't know at all, just in case it is a police sting (they still do occur in some places), so I'm not sure there is a good answer. Maybe some more experienced escorts might have other suggestions.

 

I wish there were an easy answer, but I don't think there is. At least I don't know of one.

[Griffin Donavon]

This is part of the business, I think the way I handled it was the best way.. I tried calling his number and its disconnected, he has obviously has done this before.. I am glad it didn't go physical, because he could have had a weapon on him.. This is just my first lesson of bad situation with the business. When it comes down to it, I much rather take the loss, instead of potentially getting hurt.

[operalover21]

What a horrible situation. I'm very sorry you had to go through something like this. May I ask a couple questions because I wasn't clear about something. When he made the appointment with you, you both agreed to the amount of time and the amount that was going to be paid at the end of the session and what was going to occur during the session. Is that correct? If so, then his explanation that he thought it was a hook-up site makes no sense.

[Griffin Donavon]

I never talk about price, normally I ask how long and if they want role play.. When he said he thought it was a hook up site... In other words he was saying "I'm screwing you over" I asked if he hired escorts before and he said yes, before him initially saying he thought it was a hook up site.. He was just acting like a scumbag...

[Diverdan]

So sorry this happened to you... but we all know there are scumbags around that try to screw (no pun intended) everyone they come in contact with... I suspect he doesn't pay a lot of his other bills...very interesting that the phone number he used with you was disconnected when you tried to call him back...IMHO opinion you handled it right... even though there was a loss of expected earnings for your time...

[down_to_business]

So sorry this happened to you... but we all know there are scumbags around that try to screw (no pun intended) everyone they come in contact with... very interesting that the phone number he used with you was disconnected when you tried to call him back...

 

Sorry this happened to you as well. Every time I get screwed over its really hard not to become totally untrusting and jaded, I hope that doesn't happen to you. As another poster said, it can happen in any business or service although I know that doesn't make it any better or easier.

 

For those of you who know about google voice capabilities, when you block a certain phone number does it give a disconnected message or does it just endlessly ring or something else?? You could try calling his "disconnected" phone number from a different number, but I guess there might not be anything to gain from pursuing it.

[Griffin Donavon]

Sorry this happened to you as well. Every time I get screwed over its really hard not to become totally untrusting and jaded, I hope that doesn't happen to you. As another poster said, it can happen in any business or service although I know that doesn't make it any better or easier.

 

For those of you who know about google voice capabilities, when you block a certain phone number does it give a disconnected message or does it just endlessly ring or something else?? You could try calling his "disconnected" phone number from a different number, but I guess there might not be anything to gain from pursuing it.

 

Well, with today's technology.. There are apps were you can create a number and drop it whenever you wanted too.. Having his real number can have many advantages.. I can black list him, we're he will be severely harassed, if he is a business owner he wouldn't want too change that number, having to go through his contacts telling his friends he has a new number... So I could tell him too please pay or feel the wrath... However he was smart, he used a app and dropped the number.

[N13]

Imho

 

Most escorts and most clients perform a number of checks before meeting with someone.

 

 

The scumbag may have an excuse like "Oh, I don't know how to use the texting of my phone"

 

I am certainly not a scumbag, but, believe it or not I don't know how to text and don't want to know how. I am old-fashioned in the sense that I would rather not perform social intercourse by texting. Also I am in a situation where I can't receive telephone calls easily. So I use multiple emails to ascertain whether I am dealing with someone real or not. If someone does not want to meet me because I don't text...so be it. Their loss personally and financially. IMHO

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

I can't provide professional or legal advice, but man-to-man:

 

No one should be afraid at work. Take a basic self-defense class and practice until you've learned the moves in muscle memory. Then practice once a month with a sparring partner so you don't forget. You can learn enough in a ten-week class at your gym or the Y to get out of 99% of bad situations -- especially when the other guy is impaired and thinking with his dick.

[bigvalboy]

I can't provide professional or legal advice, but man-to-man:

 

No one should be afraid at work. Take a basic self-defense class and practice until you've learned the moves in muscle memory. Then practice once a month with a sparring partner so you don't forget. You can learn enough in a ten-week class at your gym or the Y to get out of 99% of bad situations -- especially when the other guy is impaired and thinking with his dick.

 

Excellent advice. I normally do not encourage confrontation of any kind, but the reality is that we live in a world where every now and again you might find yourself in a situation where you need to defend yourself. Over the course of my life, I have walked out of a few situations where harm would have come my way, had I not had the confidence/demeanor to act in a way that let the other person know that had they started something, it would not have gone well for them. Every situation is difference, and as VHC indicates, learning self defense can be helpful. Self defense also teaches you to asses situations as well as the person who is confronting you....IMHO

 

 

Now I do understand that this situation probably did not call for this, but whenever you put yourself in a situation where you are dealing with strangers behind closed doors, I think you need to be able to protect yourself...Good Luck.

[Xander]

Easy. You look for his cell phone, wallet, or laptop - you grab it, and walk out the door. You let him know it will cost your rate to get it back, plus the time to handle the transaction.

[+ FreshFluff]

I am extremely pissed for Griffin. This is exactly what the "bad client" sites should be for, but with technologies like Google voice allows people to circumvent that.

 

Easy. You look for his cell phone, wallet, or laptop - you grab it, and walk out the door. You let him know it will cost your rate to get it back, plus the time to handle the transaction.

 

I'd be very tempted to do this, but it's risky. This slime bucket likely scams escorts frequently, and the disposable number shows that he planned his scam carefully. So he may well come prepared with a gun or knife in case the escort reacts violently or tries to take any of his property.

[+ FreshFluff]

One of the checks I always do is to send one or two text messages to a client and see if an answer comes back. If it's a number created through an app, then not every number will work with text messaging as well. Some apps may create numbers where texting works, others may not work with texting.

 

I'm guessing that most of the popular services do allow texts. Google voice definitely does.

 

Ironically, these technologies, which are supposed to increase privacy, will probably lead to escorts insisting on a land line number. (There are ways to check whether something is a landline using reverse lookup.)

[nate_sf]

The blacklisting site I'm aware of is blacklistedjohn.com. Even if he's changed his phone and email I'd suggest writing the encounter up and submitting it. Who knows, his MO might resonate with someone else, or somebody might be able to connect the dots in some random way.

 

Good news is, at least in my experience, this kind of thing is rare. In my decade on and off of escorting, this kind of thing has only happened a couple of times, and I too do not confirm the fee if it's just an hourly appointment. The vast majority of guys are honest and all-around great guys. I've never been completely stiffed, but there have been instances where the guy pretends to have misplaced the money, or pretends to have forgotten the rate and says he does not have enough on hand. Conceivably one of these could be an honest mistake, but you can usually tell when the guy is just blowing smoke and hoping you'll give in. One guy who did one of these pranks, when I started to pack up and leave he said he'd send me the money by paypal, and incredibly he did. But then it turns out he's got multiple listings on blacklistedjohn where he pulled the same stunt on many other guys, and most were not so lucky to get paid in the end.

 

I think you handled it well. Especially considering he'd already shown violent tendencies, best thing is to just calmly pack up and get out of there without getting hurt. Then think of all the great clients you have, and know that this kind of thing will be a rarity.

 

One other thing I've learned is that excessive use of poppers is a red flag. Not a deal-breaker, but a caution (so maybe a yellow light rather than a red flag). Lots of guys enjoy poppers, particularly for bottoming and fisting, but there is a difference between taking occasional hits, versus going to excess and getting weird and violent. When that starts happening I'm already plotting an exit, just in case. But again, fortunately this rarely happens.

[JoeyBryant]

Easy. You look for his cell phone, wallet, or laptop - you grab it, and walk out the door. You let him know it will cost your rate to get it back, plus the time to handle the transaction.

 

but this happened at the OP's hotel...

 

The best course of action is an ounce of prevention is better than...you know the cliche. Personally it's better to just cut your losses than to escalate the situation into something that could possibly get you kicked out the hotel or something. I would always use double-extra care when hosting in hotels, the client knows you don't live there, and then it's your place so he can leave freely at will.

 

Some years ago I met a guy out of town and he came to my hotel. He left the money out in front of me, but then I went to use the restroom and shower and walked out and he was gone. The hotel was built oddly because you could leave from the frontdoor in the hallway or the backdoor into the atrium. It was just too easy. He basically got 15 minutes free which I guess for him was better than paying for the whole hour. That was the LAST time I got ripped off.

 

Once you learn all the tricks, it won't keep happening. After that I was a bit paranoid and started collecting the money and putting it into a safe. I would also hide all of my luggage or leave it in the car. In any of those bigger cities like DC, you pretty much have to have that extra level of caution.

 

One other thing I've learned is that excessive use of poppers is a red flag. Not a deal-breaker, but a caution (so maybe a yellow light rather than a red flag). Lots of guys enjoy poppers, particularly for bottoming and fisting, but there is a difference between taking occasional hits, versus going to excess and getting weird and violent. When that starts happening I'm already plotting an exit, just in case. But again, fortunately this rarely happens.

 

http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/nascar-gentleman-agreement-1.jpg

[devonhunter]

Blacklist him!!

 

 

Edit:

In my years of doing this I have been ripped off only once. I have a very thorough vetting process via email. I do not allow people to contact me by phone/text during the acquaintance process. I don't give someone my phone number until we are confirming the appointment, which generally happens after some emailing and clarifying back and forth. I'm looking for red flags the entire time... Even a yellow flag sets my phaser to stun... Here are some of my red flags: http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/2414/

[operalover21]

I never talk about price, normally I ask how long and if they want role play.. When he said he thought it was a hook up site... In other words he was saying "I'm screwing you over" I asked if he hired escorts before and he said yes, before him initially saying he thought it was a hook up site.. He was just acting like a scumbag...

 

I guess I'm not understanding. Are you saying you and the client never discussed what the session was going to cost? I don't understand that. I've hired dozens of guys over the years and we've always agreed on the price before the session began on the phone or via text or e-mail. If that never happened, how did either of you know what the agreed upon charge was? Maybe I'm just missing something here and I apologize in advance for that ....

 

It just seems there has to be an agreed upon set of terms (price, time, action) in order for an actual contract to have been entered into (from a legal perspective) ... one may not like to talk about money but it seems to be that's an integral part of this kind of transaction and simply has to be discussed/agreed upon in advance.

 

It would probably have made no difference in his behavior but, for the future, it might make things clearer.

[Griffin Donavon]

The price for my time is on the website, the website is called rentboy.. This wouldn't have made a difference; Im a escort selling my time, Im not selling sexual details over the phone and putting a price tag on it. Thank you for the advice everyone and the kind support, You live and learn. Now I move forward In positive light and focus on new friends and the present time of now.

 

Love,

Griffin