What on earth would you do?

[RockHard]

Recently, a dear friend, who happens to be a famous show business personality, invited me to lunch. The social outing was being hosted by a well-known publisher. I knew a book deal had already been signed, but I didn't know much more. I simply assumed my listening skills were needed.

 

Lunch happened to be at a restaurant I frequent often for my own business, where I have a favorite table, keep a tab, and where most of the staff know me. Whenever I take someone to dinner (especially for business), I prefer a specific table and desire all payment activity be absent from the experience.

 

No one at the restaurant knew I was associated with this particular reservation, and I didn't think it appropriate to "take charge," since the lunch event was not mine. When I arrived at the restaurant and saw the location of our table, I had a feeling that something wasn't quite right.

 

Luckily, no one noticed anything odd. My friend lives in L.A. and wouldn't necessarily know a good table from a bad one in NYC. I don't remember the woman's title (editor?) who represented the publisher, but she looked quite young, maybe fresh out of college, and she smiled with that clueless quality of someone fresh from their first flight to LaGuardia. The fourth person to join us was an agent from my friend's acting agency. The discussion at lunch was mostly about writing direction.

 

In spite of the location of our table, the meal and service was superb. We shared a bottle of champagne, had a two-plate tasting course each, and shared four desserts. Lunch was divine.

 

Our waiter came to the table with the check, and the editor quickly grabbed it, dug through her purse, and handed over a credit card.

 

Within minutes, I took notice of some waiters scrambling in the distance, looking my way. One of them came to our table, leaned in my direction and whispered in my ear, "There's a call for you at the front desk."

 

I excused myself from the table, wondering who doesn't have my cell phone number? The manager of the restaurant greeted me at the reservation desk and proceeded to tell me that the editor's credit card had been denied. I said, "You're kidding," with the look of horror on my face.

 

The bill with tip came to $330. Without taking much time to think, I told the manager to put the bill on my tab, but no one must tell my friend or embarrass the editor at the table. I quickly rejoined the table, telling them that someone from the office called (who didn't know my cell).

 

Shortly thereafter, our waiter came back, announcing lunch was on the restaurant, as he handed back the editor's credit card. Everyone just assumed the presence of a celebrity did the trick. Everyone left happy.

 

Later that day, I was told the $330 charge appeared on my credit card account. The event was not mine and it was not my idea for the restaurant to announce "Lunch is on us."

 

What would you do?

 

ps I'm off to D.C. to attend the Creative Coalition's Ball with my friend Matt. I may be absent for awhile and didn't want anyone to think I was on another Time Out.

[gallahadesquire]

You did the right thing. I think the waitstaff is at fault here for announcing of the luncheon was free. They could've given her a fake check to sign off and never posted but then she realized afterwards that she had him her card was is particularly damaging i would say just let it be.

[down_to_business]

Always remember ...No good deed goes unpunished.

 

You can talk to the editor if you feel it appropriate and explain the situation, showing the signed bill or credit card statement as proof if you need, but only if you feel that it is worth it to you.

[gallahadesquire]

Always remember ...No good deed goes unpunished.

 

You can talk to the editor if you feel it appropriate and explain the situation, showing the signed bill or credit card statement as proof if you need, but only if you feel that it is worth it to you.

 

Yeah… What he said!

[Atlantagaguy]

You did a nice thing, but I think the restaurant was truly out of place to get you involved. I also believe the restaurant took advantage of you because they knew you. At the moment the publisher handed her credit card over should have identified you were a guest of hers. The restaurant had no place to get you involve. They should have gone to her and said that the manager would like to speak to her. I would go to the manager and explain how disappointed you were on the handling and ask for credit. I’m sure he would agree since you do patronize his restaurant.

[Epigonos]

The entire situation was awkward to say the least. Frankly you win a few and you lose a few. The amount isn't over the top outrageous. I would probably keep my mouth shut and move on. The restaurant staff was trying to help which it didn't but they were trying.

[robberbaron4u]

Epignos offers you the best advisement. Having defined yourself, by your actions, as a "gentleman", forego dispelling the illusion.

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

+1!

[MsGuy]

Epignos offers you the best advisement. Having defined yourself, by your actions, as a "gentleman", forego dispelling the illusion.

 

What he said.

[AdamSmith]

In agreement with the above replies. The house looks to have striven to do what it hoped would be least awkward for everyone. What would you have preferred them to do?

 

Another question presents, though: why did you insert yourself into it? Away from the table, you could have suggested to the house that they discreetly ask the editor for an alternate card, as would normally occur.

[jackboy48]

I can understand how this happened, and in the confusion, I might have picked up the tab, too. Unfortunately I would have been quite angry later on, and probably have would take some action, such as calling that editor and demanding an immediate reimbursement. She had to know that the card was "borderline," and was probably way over the limit. Most credit card companies allow a reasonable overdraft, then add a hefty fee to the bill. The restaurant staff really let you down, there was absolutely no excuse to involve you, and I'd probably never darken their door again. I'd definitely let the owner/manager know how poorly the staff behaved. If the reimbursement is not immediately forthcoming, I'd let my friend know the sordid details, because he is obviously trying to make a living, and this editor, and possibly her publisher, might not be the best option for him.

[robberbaron4u]

To address the "bad table" issue, if you enjoy the status of "privileged patron" in the establishment, you should have telephoned to the manager or matre d'hotel to inform him that you had recommended his restaurant to a friend or business associate, that the friend had determined to act upon the recommendation, and, requested that he place him at a "good table".

[+ purplekow]

The actions of the restaurant staff are incomprehensible. Their actions should have been the usual, that is, to call over the credit card holder and explain the situation.

 

Once you offered to pay, a generous, if misguided act, you assumed the responsibility for the check.

 

When the staff then said it was on the house, that took the agent off the hook for the bill. However, even when the meal is on the house, a gratuity should be left for the wait staff and the agent should have made and effort to leave one. If she tried to place the tip on the credit card, you would be right back at step one.

[kevininsa]

Restaurant erred twice. You were the guest and it was not your card that failed. They should have pulled the editor away and handled it. Even with their regular patron at the table. To announce and take credit for the meal was also uncalled for. I would hope that it was just their attempt at saving face for the editor.

Since you frequent the restaurant so much, I would probably just mention to the manager on your next visit that in retrospect you think it should have been handled between the restaurant and the editor. Not with annoyance, but as a sincere business recommendation.

As for the editor, I would have called her and explained that you wanted to save her the embarassment, but now she owes you for lunch.

 

IMHO.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Restaurant erred twice. You were the guest and it was not your card that failed. They should have pulled the editor away and handled it. Even with their regular patron at the table. To announce and take credit for the meal was also uncalled for. I would hope that it was just their attempt at saving face for the editor.

Since you frequent the restaurant so much, I would probably just mention to the manager on your next visit that in retrospect you think it should have been handled between the restaurant and the editor. Not with annoyance, but as a sincere business recommendation.

As for the editor, I would have called her and explained that you wanted to save her the embarassment, but now she owes you for lunch.

 

IMHO.

 

I would contact the management of the restaurant and say that you were under the impression that "the restaurant had picked up the tab" since that's what they came over and announced.

[robberbaron4u]

I am given to the opinion that the restaurant staff handled the matter in a courteous manner. The poster was a valued patron with a long association with the establishment; the stated situation could only prove awkward for all concerned. The staff did not demand that the poster "pay up" on the lunch tab; rather, they noticed him, dsicreetly, that the host's bank card had been declined. The poster had no obligation to pay, indeed, he could have instructed the staff to present the check to the host a second time with a request for another method of payment. He, himself, made the decision to settle the tab which, again, in my opinion, was the gentlemanly thing to do. And, in announcing that the house had picked up the tab as a good will gesture to a valued customer can only have sent the poster's "stock" soaring with those seated at his table; indeed, the good PR was well worth $300.

[rvwnsd]

Forgive me for the long, multi-quoted post, but there are several points worth addressing with more than a tart phrase or word-bite. Here goes...

 

...Within minutes, I took notice of some waiters scrambling in the distance, looking my way. One of them came to our table, leaned in my direction and whispered in my ear, "There's a call for you at the front desk."

I excused myself from the table, wondering who doesn't have my cell phone number? The manager of the restaurant greeted me at the reservation desk and proceeded to tell me that the editor's credit card had been denied.

 

The restaurant manager was wrong for doing this. They were acting in their own self-interest, not doing you (their regular patron) or the editor any favors.

 

...I said, "You're kidding," with the look of horror on my face....

 

You and me both. But (for me) not because the credit card was declined.

 

...The bill with tip came to $330. Without taking much time to think, I told the manager to put the bill on my tab...

 

This a was very generous gesture on your part. It should not have been accepted.

 

...Shortly thereafter, our waiter came back, announcing lunch was on the restaurant...

 

Another generous gesture, this time on the on the restaurant's part. They realized they were wrong for involving you and did the right thing by absorbing the bill.

 

Later that day, I was told the $330 charge appeared on my credit card account....

 

Whoops! Spoke too soon. Not so generous on the restaurant's part. They really wanted to recoup the cost of the meal and did the wrong thing by charging you.

 

...The event was not mine and it was not my idea for the restaurant to announce "Lunch is on us."

 

What would you do?...

 

I would do a couple of things. First, I would ask myself how valuable this restaurant was to me versus how valuable it is now it in light of what happened. If the answer is "the same as before" (and I suspect that is not the answer) then I would pay the credit card bill and continue patronizing the restaurant as before. If the answer is "not the same as before," then I would do the following:

 

 

• Have a conversation with the owner or general manager: I would tell them that I felt the waiters and manager on duty took advantage of my patronage and put me in an awkward situation out of their own self-interest. I would inform them that this lack of respect for me and the frequency with which I patronize their restaurant has made me reconsider whether I will continue dining there as frequently as in the past, if at all. I would emphasize that, for me, the problem is the way the situation was handled.
  
• Look for another restaurant: This is inexcusable. I don't care how good your regular table is, how wonderful the meals are, or that this is New York. You are a regular customer who provides them with a frequent and regular revenue stream. They need to treat you with respect and earn your continued patronage each and every time you walk through their door and they didn't do that. Your status as a regular customer warranted charging you for a meal hosted by someone else, but apparently didn't warrant seating the party at a good table. There must be at least one other restaurant in Manhattan that could regularly seat you at a good table and treat you like the valuable customer you are.
  
• Congratulate yourself: You did what you thought was right at the moment. Good for you.
  
• Learn from the experience: If this ever happens again (hopefully it won't) you might want to consider asking the staff to ask the host to join them at the front desk so as to remedy the situation.
  

 

 

 

...calling that editor and demanding an immediate reimbursement...

 

I would not do that. She was unaware her credit card was declined. In her mind, "lunch was on the house."

 

 

..She had to know that the card was "borderline," and was probably way over the limit...

 

Not necessarily. We don't know whether she had checked into a hotel that requests authorization for several times the cost of the hotel stay (thus, freezing her available credit), was the victim of fraudulent transactions (or attempted fraud), or was flagged as performing an out of pattern credit card transaction that could signal a fraudulent transaction.

 

...Most credit card companies allow a reasonable overdraft, then add a hefty fee to the bill...

 

Not any more. Credit card issuers have been pilloried for that practice and usually require a cardholder to provide explicit consent (a so-called "opt-in") to authorizing transactions that would cause an overlimit situation to occur. Regulations require debit card issuers to do this, but I am not sure whether the regulations require it of credit card issuers. I think they do. At any rate, it is considered a "best practice" among card issuers.

 

...I'd let my friend know the sordid details...

 

Boy, oh, boy I am on the fence about this. Part of me says I would inform my friend and part of says I wouldn't. Knowing myself, I probably would.

 

...this editor, and possibly her publisher, might not be the best option for him.

 

I think this is a little presumptuous. There are several potential reasons why the card was declined. She might have made a mistake and used the wrong card. (Procurement card vs travel card, personal vs business, etc) Her card could have been compromised by one of the many security breaches that has hit several retailers, card issuers, and card processors. We just don't have enough details to make this judgement.

 

I would be more forgiving if this was a diner owned by a working-class family that is struggling to make ends meet. However, i doubt the working class family would behave like this. Mama/Papa/Nanna/Grampa/Auntie would spin in their graves if they saw how poorly their progeny behaved.

 

I am interested in knowing what, if anything, you do.

[cany10011]

You were way too generous. I would have just told the restaurant that it was not your party and you are only an invited guest. I don't think the editor needed any face saving. The restaurant should have said something to the card holder and not to you (their familiar guest).

 

 

 

Forgive me for the long, multi-quoted post, but there are several points worth addressing with more than a tart phrase or

word-bite. Here goes...

 

 

 

The restaurant manager was wrong for doing this. They were acting in their own self-interest, not doing you (their regular patron) or the editor any favors.

 

 

 

You and me both. But (for me) not because the credit card was declined.

 

 

 

This a was very generous gesture on your part. It should not have been accepted.

 

 

 

Another generous gesture, this time on the on the restaurant's part. They realized they were wrong for involving you and did the right thing by absorbing the bill.

 

 

 

Whoops! Spoke too soon. Not so generous on the restaurant's part. They really wanted to recoup the cost of the meal and did the wrong thing by charging you.

 

 

 

I would do a couple of things. First, I would ask myself how valuable this restaurant was to me versus how valuable it is now it in light of what happened. If the answer is "the same as before" (and I suspect that is not the answer) then I would pay the credit card bill and continue patronizing the restaurant as before. If the answer is "not the same as before," then I would do the following:

 

 

• Have a conversation with the owner or general manager: I would tell them that I felt the waiters and manager on duty took advantage of my patronage and put me in an awkward situation out of their own self-interest. I would inform them that this lack of respect for me and the frequency with which I patronize their restaurant has made me reconsider whether I will continue dining there as frequently as in the past, if at all. I would emphasize that, for me, the problem is the way the situation was handled.
  
• Look for another restaurant: This is inexcusable. I don't care how good your regular table is, how wonderful the meals are, or that this is New York. You are a regular customer who provides them with a frequent and regular revenue stream. They need to treat you with respect and earn your continued patronage each and every time you walk through their door and they didn't do that. Your status as a regular customer warranted charging you for a meal hosted by someone else, but apparently didn't warrant seating the party at a good table. There must be at least one other restaurant in Manhattan that could regularly seat you at a good table and treat you like the valuable customer you are.
  
• Congratulate yourself: You did what you thought was right at the moment. Good for you.
  
• Learn from the experience: If this ever happens again (hopefully it won't) you might want to consider asking the staff to ask the host to join them at the front desk so as to remedy the situation.
  

 

 

 

 

 

I would not do that. She was unaware her credit card was declined. In her mind, "lunch was on the house."

 

 

 

 

Not necessarily. We don't know whether she had checked into a hotel that requests authorization for several times the cost of the hotel stay (thus, freezing her available credit), was the victim of fraudulent transactions (or attempted fraud), or was flagged as performing an out of pattern credit card transaction that could signal a fraudulent transaction.

 

 

 

Not any more. Credit card issuers have been pilloried for that practice and usually require a cardholder to provide explicit consent (a so-called "opt-in") to authorizing transactions that would cause an overlimit situation to occur. This is required by law of debit card issuers, but I am not sure whether it is required by law for credit card issuers. I think it is.

 

 

 

Boy, oh, boy I am on the fence about this. Part of me says I would inform my friend and part of says I wouldn't. Knowing myself, I probably would.

 

 

 

I think this is a little presumptuous. There are several potential reasons why the card was declined. She might have made a mistake and used the wrong card. (Procurement card vs travel card, personal vs business, etc) Her card could have been compromised by one of the many security breaches that has hit several retailers, card issuers, and card processors. We just don't have enough details to make this judgement.

 

I would be more forgiving if this was a diner owned by a working-class family that is struggling to make ends meet. However, i doubt the working class family would behave like this. Mama/Papa/Nanna/Grampa/Auntie would spin in their graves if they saw how poorly their progeny behaved.

 

I am interested in knowing what, if anything, you do.

[corndog]

I think that, as others have pointed out, multiple mistakes were made. However, one possibility has been overlooked. After you talked to the manager and agreed to cover the tab, the waiter may have asked the manager what to do and gotten a reply something like "we're taking care of it." The manager intended to say that he was handling the situation, but the waiter interpreted it as "we're covering the tab." And so, the waiter announced to the table that the meal was "on the house," thereby making it extraordinarily awkward for you to settle the situation with the editor later.

 

As a second point, I wish the whole world would get over being embarrassed when credit card transactions are declined. It shouldn't be handled as a reflection of a person's creditworthyness or personal virtue. It should be handled as a technological glitch, which it very often is. This whole situation wouldn't have happened if the waiter had just politely said "I'm having trouble with your card, is there another payment method I could try?"

[+ Hoover42]

It should be handled as a technological glitch, which it very often is. This whole situation wouldn't have happened if the waiter had just politely said "I'm having trouble with your card, is there another payment method I could try?"

 

Where's the Like button?

[LookingAround]

The restaurant should not have gotten you involved but once you said "put it on my bill" you assumed responsibility. You made your bed...

[RockHard]

In situations like these, it's impossible to know all the details at the time when a quick decision is required. Someone has to decide what to do, consider what he/she knows, and trust gut instinct.

 

The entire situation was awkward to say the least.

I think the restaurant was truly out of place to get you involved. I also believe the restaurant took advantage of you because they knew you.

The house looks to have striven to do what it hoped would be least awkward for everyone.

 

This situation was awkward, but I think Adam Smith said it best.

 

A leading, professional restaurant in New York City (especially the power-broker establishments) typically employ serious-minded people who are at the top of their game. The staff at this quality level observe, while executing a costly yet intimate dining experience.

 

1. We all caught a glimpse of the young editor as she dug into her purse for a credit card. She did not pull out a wallet or card-holder of any kind. She pulled out a piece of plastic from what appeared to be the messy interior of utter disorganization. On the surface this can mean little. Faced with sizing up the moment in a split second, it can resonate. When you know what I know about publishing houses these days, all bets are off.

 

2. Our celebrity guest is an old friend, and is old enough to be my parent (70+). We sat next to one another at the table, and if you observed us for just a minute or two, you might assume we were family.

 

3. The celebratory aspect of the lunch was obvious to everyone. Our toasts gave us away. And when you have a famous celebrity in your dining establishment, and the celebrity is not hosting the gathering but is guest of honor, I think it's a prudent decision to proceed with caution when an awkward question arises.

 

This is far from the first time the manager has seen me dining with a famous person from the entertainment industry. I've been a patron for over 30 years and signed on to my own table about 15 years ago.

 

The manager didn't call me to privacy to seek payment. She called me to privacy to protect our celebrity guest, and to request guidance from a loyal customer she could trust. I thought the gesture was highly considerate. I, too, wanted to shield my friend from any unsavory or questionable perception.

 

The goal of the lunch was clearly to celebrate, inspire, and motivate. Why kill the hard work (3 long hours of schmoozing with strangers) and invite the potential of an embarrassing ending? You simply can't control what you don't know. The only thing you can do is try to control the outcome.

 

(It is my) opinion that the restaurant staff handled the matter in a courteous manner. (RH is) a valued patron with a long association with the establishment; the stated situation could only prove awkward for all concerned. The staff did not demand that the poster "pay up" on the lunch tab; rather, they noticed him, discreetly, that the host's bank card had been declined. (RH) had no obligation to pay, indeed, he could have instructed the staff to present the check to the host a second time with a request for another method of payment. (RH) made the decision to settle the tab.

 

Another way of expressing what I've already written above.

 

I wish the whole world would get over being embarrassed when credit card transactions are declined. It shouldn't be handled as a reflection of a person's creditworthyness or personal virtue. It should be handled as a technological glitch

 

As long as cash-strapped businesses end expense accounts, forcing employees to "cover" business expenses with personal credit cards — as long as millions of people are living life on the edge of their available balances (the percentages have never been higher), "technological glitch" will rival "dog ate my homework" as a legitimate excuse. It's possible but highly improbable.

 

I think the waitstaff is at fault…for announcing…the luncheon was free.

 

The announcement sure made my celebrity friend feel great. As you age in show business, the perks tend to die with the job opportunities. From my perspective, it was a great ending for a star who still remembers how things once were.

 

You were way too generous.

Always remember ...No good deed goes unpunished.

 

I've heard both statements a lot throughout my life. I've always enjoyed being generous (I inherited that gene from my parents), and I love doing good deeds. So I deal with the occasional punishment.

 

Unfortunately I would have been quite angry later on, and probably…take some action, such as calling that editor and demanding an immediate reimbursement.

 

Anger is something I rarely feel. I can get excited, and my blood pressure will rise, but it takes a lot (much more than $300) for anger to rear its ugly head. Mostly, it takes a betrayal of love, which could explain my single status.

 

I did call the editor, and I explained my point of view. She mumbled something about a rental car hold but I made it clear I wasn't seeking an explanation. She said she fully understood the situation, and she thanked me for sparing her the embarrassment. She agreed to keep "the truth" between us.

 

I would contact the management of the restaurant and say that you were under the impression that "the restaurant had picked up the tab" since that's what they came over and announced.

 

Fortunately, I did not have to contact the restaurant. The manager tracked me down and apologized for the charge snafu, explaining that process (which I didn't need to hear).

 

I told the manager that I would do what I could to get the publisher to pay for the meal, regardless of the restaurant's generous gesture. In this case, I insisted it was the right thing to do.

 

In my conversation with the editor, I recommended that she pay the bill. She said she would. The manager sent me an email this morning informing me of the payment.

 

All ends well.

 

Several people wrote me privately about this and my trip to D.C. Thank you. I hope this post answers your questions. As for D.C., this election year was expensive for me. I don't regret the investment I made. I believed it was necessary. My taste for the large, grand parties has waned. I much prefer dinner for two or a small gathering of twelve. But now it's time to focus on other endeavors. After all, it is a new year.

[Diverdan]

RockHard.... what a class act you are. I would have done the same thing and have done similar things in the past. I learned a lot from my Father, God Rest His Soul, and one of the things he always did was to take control of an unpleasant situation and make sure that things worked out for everyone. I have seen him pick up the tab for things that he did not have to do, but often took the time to explain why he did that. He was not wealthy, but when he died, I was overcome with emotion at all the stories that his friends told me about how he made a difference in their lives, how he helped them out, etc. Who knows what role this young editor will have in the future.... maybe even the head of a publishing empire. She "owes" you a lot, and will likely never forget the way you handled this situation. My hat is off to you, RockHard and I thank you for sharing this conclusion to the thread that you started. Hopefully we will have a chance to meet in person when I am next in NYC.

DD

[zeyfur]

I agree. Rockhard is an inspiration for us all. I feel privileged to be able to post in this thread that he started. Stories like these reaffirm my belief in humanity.

[+ purplekow]

Rockhard I am a bit confused. In your first post you said you paid for the meal and later, the wait staff said the meal was on the house. In your last statement, you stated that the restaurant made a generous gesture. Perhaps I misread or misinterpreted but I thought that you paid and the restaurant staff said it was on the house when in fact they were using that ruse so the editor would not realize that you had paid. Was I mistaken? It seems that if they charged you, they were not being generous, only accommodating.