My Date for Tonight Just Cancelled and I think I am happy about it. Thoughts?

[EZEtoGRU]

Well I'm in New York and had a multihour appointment set up for tonight at $300/hour. I sent him a text a little bit ago to see if we were still good for 8:00pm. He said yes and asked for the room number. I confirmed the room number although I frequently prefer to meet them in the lobby or the hotel bar first and then go up after a drink. He texted back immediately and indicated "I don't meet there. sorry. In the room". I texted back and said OK. The text exchange bothered me a little. Since we were having a multihour appointment, I really did not see what the problem was with him meeting me in the hotel bar.

 

Anyway, about 30 minutes later after having the communication with him irritate me a little, I started to wonder if he was going to expect the money from me upfront.....which I refuse to do. I've only had problems with guys that I pay upfront. I texted him back and indicated that btw, I pay at the end. He immediately called me and asked why? I said I've sometimes had problems with guys that expect the money up-front. He said a few more things and then said he has had similar problems and that I should call someone else for tonight. I said thank you......and that was the end of it.

 

The main reason I'm in NY for these two days is to see this guy. He only is available in the US 2-3 times a year when he is visiting from another country. The chatter about him on Muscle Service is quite positive. He also has 2-3 positive reviews on daddy's . As soon as I saw he was in NY, I booked a trip. I have never met him before.

 

Anyway, I got somewhat of a bad feeling from him when he would not meet me in the hotel bar (I am in a 5 star hotel btw). Maybe I read to much into his refusal to meet me downstairs. I don't doubt that escorts get flakey customers some time but he seemed somewhat demanding. When he finally said I should find someone else tonight, I was kind of relieved. Too many red flags for me.....but maybe I'm over-sensitive.

 

Does anyone else have thoughts about this? Did I do the right thing in communicating with him about the money issue in advance.

 

Now I'm trying to decide if I want to try and hire someone else tonight or just write it all off for today and wait till I get to Montreal tomorrow to have fun at Stock.

 

Any input is appreciated.

[tyro]

You lucked out. Have yourself some fun tonight however you choose to. (Think of all the extra $$$ you have now!) It is disappointing when hiring plans fall through for any reason, but if this guy treated you like that before you even met in person...........I say move on and fuggeddaboudit. (Or however one should type that phonetically!)

T

[Diverdan]

IMHO, I think you are lucky that this ended before it got started. You should write a "review" about this experience. I never provide money upfront anymore, and I would suspect that he was not "up to the appointment" for what ever reason. You saved a lot of money and aggravation, although I understand your irritation. There are a lot of great guys in NYC, but nothing wrong with saving your funds for Montreal either. Enjoy, and let us know if anything further develops from this situation. The fact that he is from another country is also intriguing... maybe he has been to this hotel bar many times and might be recognized for his profession. One can never know what actually was going on with him, but soory it happened to you.

DD

[+ Travis69]

If I had flown to a city to see a guy who had good reviews on 2 sites I value I would have not let those 2 conditions stop me. I would have seen him. I would have also made a mental note to convey all my expectations such as meeting place and money exchange prior to planning a trip and appointment next time to save myself the inconvenience. The escort should put in his ad that he expects money up front also.

[EZEtoGRU]

As expected, a variety of different comments. I still have mixed feelings about it myself frankly. I don't plan on contacting him again and I doubt he will contact me. It was pretty clear in our last conversation that the date was off and that was that. As far as a review, I don't think I can do that with someone I never saw and in these circumstances where the hookup was cancelled in advance. He wasn't really rude or nasty with me...just abrupt.

 

I think I'll just have some champagne in the hotel bar and save the "fun" for Montreal. Anyway, I had a great day today that included a long walk in Central Park, a private tour of lower Manhattan and Brooklyn, the Colombus Day parade (who knew a Columbus Day parade could last 3 hours), and had Matzho Ball soup in a New York deli. Oh....and I saw governor Cuomo in the parade! So I've had a pretty full day already.

 

Thanks for the feedback!

[+ Travis69]

Just a thought but maybe he thought you were going to meet, have drinks, enjoy his attractive company for 30 minutes at the bar and then excuse yourself to use the restroom and not return. Some people pull stuff like that. I also think he might have requested the money upfront as a last minute request as he thought you were trying something devious. If he had met you in your room he might not have asked for it. Not sure. Some of these guys have been ripped off, as so have many clients, in so many differnet ways they are super cautious to the least little thing.

[bigvalboy]

As expected, a variety of different comments. I still have mixed feelings about it myself frankly. I don't plan on contacting him again and I doubt he will contact me. It was pretty clear in our last conversation that the date was off and that was that. As far as a review, I don't think I can do that with someone I never saw and in these circumstances where the hookup was cancelled in advance. He wasn't really rude or nasty with me...just abrupt.

 

I think I'll just have some champagne in the hotel bar and save the "fun" for Montreal. Anyway, I had a great day today that included a long walk in Central Park, a private tour of lower Manhattan and Brooklyn, the Colombus Day parade (who knew a Columbus Day parade could last 3 hours), and had Matzho Ball soup in a New York deli. Oh....and I saw governor Cuomo in the parade! So I've had a pretty full day already.

 

Thanks for the feedback!

 

EZE, someone having great reviews does not mean that things will automatically go well for you. I have recommended escorts with stellar reviews to friends and later they have called me and said that they regretted the hire, and that always makes me feel badly, however you just have to realize that no two hires are ever the same, no matter who you are talking about.

 

You are a very nice guy and a well seasoned traveler with allot of street smarts. Always go by your gut. I never ever ever pay up front...period. I don't care how hot or how much I have anticipated the hire. It doesn't really matter if he was legit or not, or how many people talk him up. This hire is about you. You are the client. If you don't feel comfortable, you did the right thing to pass.

 

I think in the end that Montreal hears you coming. Good decision tonight, stay in and save the money for Montreal...go but what you feel in your gut, it is rarely wrong...have fun!!!

[MiamiLooker]

I never ever ever pay up front...period. I don't care how hot or how much I have anticipated the hire. It doesn't really matter if he was legit or not, or how many people talk him up.

 

Did the escort ask for the money up front or just question EZE about it after EZE brought it up that he never pays up front? I wonder if the escort was able to get another appointment, especially if he's only in town for a few days?

[mmk123]

I would like to know who this escort is

[EZEtoGRU]

Thanks for the input BVB and MiamiLooker. My gut did tell me something wasn't quite right when he refused to meet me in the bar....hence my raising the upfront money issue with him....which in turn triggered some concern on his behalf. In the end, I got a bad vibe from him and, frankly, he likely feels he got a bad vibe from me. I think it just wasn't meant to be.

 

To MiamiLooker's point of him having another date, I don't think he had anything else scheduled at the point he cancelled our encounter. Having said that, I sense that he is quite busy when in town and I have no doubt that he may get another appointment today.

 

Thanks guys!

[Kevin Slater]

My gut did tell me something wasn't quite right when he refused to meet me in the bar....hence my raising the upfront money issue with him....which in turn triggered some concern on his behalf. In the end, I got a bad vibe from him and, frankly, he likely feels he got a bad vibe from me. I think it just wasn't meant to be.

 

I was just composing a post saying the same thing. I never ask for the money upfront, nor do I meet clients in the bar to start things off. If upon hearing that, if the prospective client made an issue that he intends on paying me at the end, my warning meter might start sounding a bit.

 

A free night in NYC doesn't suck, however. There are hundreds of other guys on any escort site you chose, and the Tenement Museum is a wonderful way to spend a Tuesday morning before you depart for Montreal. Have fun!

 

Kevin Slater

[EZEtoGRU]

I was just composing a post saying the same thing. I never ask for the money upfront, nor do I meet clients in the bar to start things off. If upon hearing that, if the prospective client made an issue that he intends on paying me at the end, my warning meter might start sounding a bit.

 

A free night in NYC doesn't suck, however. There are hundreds of other guys on any escort site you chose, and the Tenement Museum is a wonderful way to spend a Tuesday morning before you depart for Montreal. Have fun!

 

Kevin Slater

Thanks for your comments Kevin. I totally understand what you're saying although I've never had a problem having someone meet me in the bar or lobby before. Also, many hotels now require key cards in the elevator to get to the rooms (although not the case in my NYC hotel). In those cases, the initial encounter must be in the lobby or bar.

 

It's all good. I'm tucked away in my chair in the bar. Gonna have one more drink and then off to dreamland in my room. Thanks for the museum suggestion for tomorrow. Cheers.

[+ Travis69]

Kevin - If you feel comfortable answering, why do you not like meeting in a bar and have you missed many appointments because of this? Is this your rule for also meeting in a lobby, etc.? Hearing an escort's perspective might be informative to us.

[+ azdr0710]

I also wonder if he didn't want to meet in the bar because of possible recognition or a prior problem there....unfortunately, that not-unreasonable request of EZE's started the suspicions....but an escort with good reviews should've been able to "vet" this meeting and realize it wasn't going to be a bad one....too bad it didn't work out as I'm sure you were psyched to meet him.....and I wonder if he had an alternative meeting ready to go and was, therefore, "eager" to cancel

 

thanks for the post, EZE....

[cany10011]

The only red flag I can think of is that the escort is not who he portrays himself to be. Also, meeting in the bar may seem like an interview and that just sets off red flags. I hardly meet in the bar or lobby and usually prefer a discreet knock on my door. I'd feel nervous meeting in the bar as the pairing of a hot twenty something guy and me (older and less attractive) would be a very incongruous pairing...although I'm sure hotel staff have SEEN IT ALL.. Lol

[hornytwells]

I would imagine that if you meet an escort in the bar or a public place and decided for whatever reason that you dont want to go through with the meet, it might make it very difficult for the escort to claim his fee in public> I am sure a lot of escorts have their time wasted by endless emails and phone calls that go nowhere, and the same might apply to a client who changes his mind. Just a thought?

[+ g56whiz]

and had Matzho Ball soup in a New York deli.

 

Hope you stocked up on the Bromo before you got back to the room. LOL This time of year and the holiday season were my favorite times in NYC: the only times I miss it although I miss my friends there always. Enjoy Montreal.

[good ol boy]

There are a bunch of guys in town for Hustlaball that are not normally there. Jump on line and find a replacement... keep it moving and have a great time... shake the sand off your feet.

[robberbaron4u]

And, sometimes, the boys believe their own publicity which, as one astute observer remarked of Joseph Kennedy, is the beginning of the end. . .

[+ Lucky]

With so many good escorts in New York, I'd cut my losses, count the benefits of not meeting this guy, and move on to the next one. I like saving money as much as I like having sex...well, just kidding there.

[EZEtoGRU]

I also wonder if he didn't want to meet in the bar because of possible recognition or a prior problem there....unfortunately, that not-unreasonable request of EZE's started the suspicions....but an escort with good reviews should've been able to "vet" this meeting and realize it wasn't going to be a bad one....too bad it didn't work out as I'm sure you were psyched to meet him.....and I wonder if he had an alternative meeting ready to go and was, therefore, "eager" to cancel

 

thanks for the post, EZE....

 

Thanks az. To your point of him being able to "vet" the encounter in advance......I think he missed the boat on that. I am in a very upscale hotel. That should have given him some degree of comfort that I was a legitimate potential customer that had no problem paying his fee. First time meets are always difficult for both the customer and the escort. There are risks on both sides and the perception of potential problems certainly was an apparent issue for both me and my date tonight. How odd! Normally the red flags are only going off for one half of the equation. LOL.

[adriano46]

I generally prefer to meet dates I have never met in a public place such as the hotel lobby or a bar, and we go from there. In this day and age with hotel security and keys (and scams on the side of escorts), I prefer meeting the guy downstairs so he and I can go to the room together (and he does not feel awkward trying to find a way upstairs without a key), and I also assure the guy who comes to see me is the guy I originally asked about.

[rvwnsd]

It sounds like an encounter that just shouldn't have happend and thankfully didn't. Nonetheless, here are a few suggestions and points to ponder:

 

1. If the escort does not raise the issue of paying him up front, don't raise it yourself. Although I agree with you and would not pay up front, it is very likely your introduction was a sign to him that you would not pay at all.

2. Address the notion of meeting in the hotel bar, instead of in the room, when you book the appointment. My guess is the escort was as taken aback by your insistence that you meet in the bar as you were by his refusal to do so.

3. Keep in mind that meeting in the bar provides you with little to no protection. If the guy intends to assault or rob you, he can be very charming in public and then change his demeanor once you reach the room.

4. Drinking can lead to diminished sexual performance, sleepiness, and/or aggression. Is that what you want from your escort?

[EZEtoGRU]

I generally prefer to meet dates I have never met in a public place such as the hotel lobby or a bar, and we go from there. In this day and age with hotel security and keys (and scams on the side of escorts), I prefer meeting the guy downstairs so he and I can go to the room together (and he does not feel awkward trying to find a way upstairs without a key), and I also assure the guy who comes to see me is the guy I originally asked about.

adriano,

Funny you raise the point about meeting an escort downstairs to be able to assure the guy who comes to see you is the guy you originally asked about. This happened to me once in Mexico City. I hired a guy off the website Sexyservidores (which has lots of hot guys who work it in Mexico). I actually recognized the guy I saw in the ad as a hunky Brazilian gogo dancer from Sao Paulo. When I called to respond to the ad, the guy answering the phone was indeed Brazilian. We agreed to meet in the hotel lobby (this hotel required a keycard to operate the elevator). I arrived in the lobby at the agreed time. A guy looking like a Brazilian started speaking with me (based on the description I had given him of what I would be wearing). He was not the guy from the ad but some other Brazilian. I told him it would not work out as I was expecting to meet the guy in the ad. His response was priceless......"Oh, you want to meet with the guy whose picture was in the ad?" Ummmm......yeah. I told him to leave and he did. He called my room (he did have my room number) later on but I did not answer or respond to his voicemail. Once they are in your hotel room, you lose all leverage and you are at the escorts mercy.

[Kevin Slater]

Kevin - If you feel comfortable answering, why do you not like meeting in a bar

 

Thanks for asking.

 

When I started escorting (I think Truman was in office...) one local fellow kept getting his rocks off by sending me to fake addresses, cafes, etc. I was new and it took me a while to learn to vet his bookings, until which I was afforded a great tour of the various public venues San Francisco had to offer. To me, it also implies a lack of sincerity on the client's part. I'm blocking the time, gussying up, cabbing over, et cetera, and he's hedging his bets. This isn't to say he's not serious, as EZ clearly was, but that I don't know that the voice on the phone is serious. Or mischievous. Or faint of heart.

 

I also don't function well in bars. I thrive in a more intimate environments in which I can put both myself and the client at ease.

 

and have you missed many appointments because of this?

 

This is NYC: something else will come up. Similarly, there are numerous other escorts who would be thrilled to meet in a bar, and I don't want to stand in the way of that match.

 

Kevin Slater