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I know his real name


M7477
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For years I've gotten my morning coffee and lusted after the hottie behind the counter. He was very personable and got good tips from the customers because he was so friendly (and hot). I found him on a popular hoook-up site a few months ago (by accident while browsing local ads...I was thrilled that I could finally see him without his shirt on!). Of course, I never mentioned this to him, because he was way out of my league and I wasn't looking for a relationship. A few months later I went into the coffee shop and he wasn't there. After a week, I asked one of the other employees and they said he wasn't working there anymore. That night I went to the site I found his profile on and for the one and only time, I sent him an email and said I was one of his customers, I heard he wasn't working there anymore and I hoped all was well with him because he will be missed. He wrote back, thanked me, and said it was all for the better. I responded and said I wished him the best and that was that.

 

Fast forward yet another few months later and I was checking out the massage listings for a city I'm going to be visiting soon (this is in the same state but about 5 hours away) and lo-and-behold...he was advertising there as an erotic masseur. Could my fantasy of seeing and touching him up-close become a reality? Yeah, but I'm hesitant because I don't want to freak him out. It isn't like I knew his phone number or we had a friendship before but he's using a different name (understandably so). So I googled his phone number and also saw he had a Rentboy ad. That opened up even more possibilities.

 

How do I go about booking an appointment? Do I just call or text and have him come and wait for the unpleasant awkwardness when he comes to my hotel and recognizes me (he doesn't even know my name, but he'd recognize me for sure after making my coffee for so many years). I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable and at the same time, since I live a pretty closeted life, if he ever moved back to town and got his old job back, I'd probably have a hard time going back for coffee. I'm pretty sure he'd be discreet but I'm afraid of mentioning too much beforehand might scare him away (or even him seeing my area code when I call or text), and I also don't want him to feel like I'm stalking him because I honestly haven't been. I found his online profile before while browsing local ads and I found his "new" profession when I was researching massage options for an upcoming business trip.

 

If any of you were in the same situation...what would you do? Any suggestions about how to make it work without either of us feeling awkward?

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I would say don't mention that you know him ahead of time. I worked at Starbucks for a number of years and have had this come up from time to time. I have never asked the client if they sought me out or if it was just a coincidence. I have also not been freaked out by it. But I can only speak for myself, each person is different. I would have been a little freaked out if they had said they knew me before meeting, most likely because it would have raised expectations.

 

Be prepared for it to be a little awkward at first but hopefully you will both get over that quickly.

 

Best of luck!

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If you're so fraught with uncertainty and fear possible adverse consequences, just let it go, and move on. There are other fish in the sea. It's entirely possible that during a session, if you schedule one, you may be so fearful of what could go wrong, you'll probably not enjoy the session. Think about the risk-reward ratio as you've described it here. IMHO, the risk far outweighs the reward.

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How do I go about booking an appointment? Do I just call or text and have him come and wait for the unpleasant awkwardness when he comes to my hotel and recognizes me (he doesn't even know my name, but he'd recognize me for sure after making my coffee for so many years). I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable and at the same time, since I live a pretty closeted life, if he ever moved back to town and got his old job back, I'd probably have a hard time going back for coffee. I'm pretty sure he'd be discreet but I'm afraid of mentioning too much beforehand might scare him away (or even him seeing my area code when I call or text), and I also don't want him to feel like I'm stalking him because I honestly haven't been. I found his online profile before while browsing local ads and I found his "new" profession when I was researching massage options for an upcoming business trip.

 

If any of you were in the same situation...what would you do? Any suggestions about how to make it work without either of us feeling awkward?

 

The odds of this are probably nil.

 

You could always do this, if you're worried about potential embarrassment: "Hey, when you get to the hotel room I'll have the door unlocked and the lights low. Come in and make yourself comfortable and I'll have a glass of wine or beer ready and we'll get to know each other." And then have fun.

 

Let him choose to broach the subject about any prior connections between the two of you. He'll either not care that you know, not realize that you know, or hope that you don't remember that you know.

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You are assuming a lot about him. You seem hyper-sensitive to him, and he occupies a lot of real estate in your imagination and consciousness. I wouldn't assume the same is true for him. It may be that in fact he is fairly compartmentalized about people he has served behind the counter, and while he responded appropriately to your e-mail, he may in fact not recognize you if you meet. I like maxwell's idea: Set up the meeting so that if, in fact, he does recognize you and doesn't want to go forward, or you feel the same, either of you can say, Thanks but no thanks and back out gracefully. The door unlocked, low lights, drinks ready, sit down and talk scenario is a good set up for that. I would advise you not to say anything about the previous encounters at all unless he brings it up. Let it flow, and if it doesn't, a good friendly handshake, smiles, best wishes and out the door are in order.

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He is a man selling his time and sexual prowess on the internet. You are a man buying sexual expertise from a man on the internet. If you are there for the sexual gratification, hire him. If you are expecting him to say: "Every time I served you a mocha latte grande i wanted to add my own special cream just for you." Then move on. You may have been hot for barista, but chances are you were just a face in the crowd and there is no happily ever after with him.

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M7477, I'm like you. Hate any potential for face to face awkwardness/confrontation. I say email the guy through his massage ad and simply be upfront about who you are (leave out the years of lusting), comment on the coincidence of running across his ad and that you would be pleased to try out his massage. After all, you're going to pay. Why would he say no? These situations are not that uncommon. It's a small world and the gay world is even smaller.

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He is a man selling his time and sexual prowess on the internet. You are a man buying sexual expertise from a man on the internet. If you are there for the sexual gratification, hire him. If you are expecting him to say: "Every time I served you a mocha latte grande i wanted to add my own special cream just for you." Then move on. You may have been hot for barista, but chances are you were just a face in the crowd and there is no happily ever after with him.

 

This is the second time this week that you've literally made me laugh out loud.

 

Was the hate mail civil?

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I say "go for it." What have you got to lose, even if it is slightly awkward for a moment. It's not as if you are great friends with the guy and risk losing his friendship or anything like that. My hunch is that you be glad you did call him. You will always wonder "what if" if you don't. Good luck.

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Thanks for the suggestions. You guys are right. It is a business transaction and I'm putting too much thought into it. (No, I don't have any emotional baggage tied to this guy, either. He's just a hottie I've seen regularly for a few years (and I'm very sure that I'm not the only one that noticed how well he filled out his designer jeans). I have just always valued privacy (for both parties) when I was getting massages and more. This was a new scenario for me and I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize either of our privacy. I'm sure it will be fine.

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My advice is, you make the appt and when he shows up, you open the door and rip his pants off and and go town! And if all goes well, ask him to marry you.

 

 

Of course tip him very well.

 

Hope your fantasies are a huge success :)

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An important consideration has not been mentioned. You are hot for him obviously, and he is now providing service to clients, but what is he offering? What do you want? He posted an ad offering erotic massage services. Now, he has posted a rentboy ad, but that does not mean he is offering full service as an escort. Rentboy ads can be filled with enticing words that reflect his passion and sex preferences in his personal life (top/bottom/versatile, kissing, oral, etc), but perhaps none of that will be offered to you, the client. If you want to hire him, contact him, but be sure that his services match your desires and expectations, or your dream scenario will end in bitter disappointment.

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Trust Me..He's Selling something you want to buy? Make the Appointment..you have nothing to lose! IF he Advertises as a "Body Worker" means No License..a so so Massage! BUT usually a Happy Ending!

 

Be SPECIFIC in what you are looking for..AND don't bring up his Barista Job for lack of conversation! I'm sure he would just as soon forget that Gig!

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