Are we ,"prima donas," if we ask a client for 24 hours notice?

[+ nycman]

My 2 cents.

 

Accept or decline people who try to book with less than 24 hours’ notice.

That’s your decision and I support you 100% either way. Pointing out that

if they had booked you the day before…as you had suggested….that then

there wouldn't have been a problem...and then going out of your way to PROVE

your right and he's wrong....isn't going to win you any clients and isn’t going to

make them or you happy….so what’s the point? It’s a Pyrrhic victory at best.

 

In the second episode that you present…stalking a client at another appointment

goes beyond the pale. It’s an old saying, but still true…two wrongs don’t make a right.

What the dude did to you was wrong. So, you figured out he’s a douche bag. Big deal.

I don’t see the value of stalking him to PROVE he’s an ass. The only thing you proved is

that you can be a bigger asshole than he is….congratulations!

 

Whenever you confront a client, I’d suggest you ask yourself first….what’s the benefit?

In the first scenario I don’t even see the harm done to you. In the second scenario you

there is no doubt you were wronged….nonetheless…rubbing their nose in it like bad

puppies….isn’t a very mature response and it makes you look like an ass too.

 

On a side note, I usually like to book with less than 24 hours’ notice. That’s just the

way my life works. I always think it’s funny when an escort gets the vapors and

lightheaded because I’d DARE to give them less than 24 hours’ notice. I understand

that some rentboys attach a “classless” label to any prostitute that makes themselves

available on short notice. I just laugh, thank them for their time, hand up, and cross

them off my list.

 

Life is too short people!

 

PS I have to admit I got a good laugh out of you deciding to start a campaign to

start an industry standard of not accepting less than 24 hours’ notice. Give me

a break. Your “trade union” can’t even agree on how to measure 6 inches right.

…good luck with your “standards”…grin

[zeyfur]

If you had a cancellation, you would ring up guys from your list and ask them if they wanted to meet. What would happen if those clients of yours started to impose a 24 hour advance notice rule?

[Michael Wayne]

I have responded to nycmans' comment in private and not in public. I have learned to not insult anyone or call anyone names in public on this forum. It hurts to be called an asshole and a stalker both of which are untrue. God bless you nycman. It does seem that open honesty has no place on this forum. thus for the next month I shall stick to my ads and to my clients and not post or respond to posts. it accomplishes nothing useful and invites open, mean, viscious attacks. By posting this thread I was trying to be HELPFUL to other escorts and clients. obviously when you do this you just get trashed. See yall in May. I am available for appts with 24-48 hrs notice @ http://www.rentmen.com/mikeyusatop or @ http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

[tom1980]

As a couple of other clients have mentioned, it is often difficult to schedule in advance. Being married and working long hours often prevent me from being able to make firm commitments. It is almost never worth it to me to schedule in advance with an escort I haven't met before because it's not worth the effort required to make excuses that will keep my schedule clear for the designated time. On the other hand, if I've seen an escort before and had a good experience, then I'm willing to put forth greater effort to schedule in advance (especially if I try to book on short notice and find that he isn't available).

 

I think it's fine to put a statement in your ad that advanced booking is preferred because you often are not available on short notice. If you make giving 24 hours advanced notice a requirement, I think you will risk missing out on new clients.

[tom1980]

I have responded to nycmans' comment in private and not in public. I have learned to not insult anyone or call anyone names in public on this forum. It hurts to be called an asshole and a stalker both of which are untrue. God bless you nycman. It does seem that open honesty has no place on this forum. thus for the next month I shall stick to my ads and to my clients and not post or respond to posts. it accomplishes nothing useful and invites open, mean, viscious attacks. By posting this thread I was trying to be HELPFUL to other escorts and clients. obviously when you do this you just get trashed. See yall in May. I am available for appts with 24-48 hrs notice @ http://www.rentmen.com/mikeyusatop or @ http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

 

Mikey -- I understand and appreciate that you don't like being insulted, but this post isn't going to gain you more friends. Refusing to play because someone disagrees with you is childish. Threatening to leave the site for a month, forever, or any other length of time is being a prima dona. The facts in your posts speak for themselves. People will draw their own conclusions about your behavior. Some may interpret your posts as nycman has, but others will view them differently. One thing I think most everyone will agree, however, is that your latest post doesn't make you look better.

[jawjateck]

for the next month I shall stick to my ads and to my clients and not post or respond to posts.

 

I have often taken long breaks from this forum because of the compost, which is often spread around threads. Some folks think they're helpful and informative, they're not. Some think they know what's right in every situation, they don't. Some think they're not arrogant, condescending, or nasty, they are. It's good ole Hooville; it is what its always been. You'll enjoy the vacation from the village, then come on back now, ya hear....

[down_to_business]

I will admit that stalker(ish) was the first thing that came to my mind when I heard this story. I am not judging you or calling you a stalker, but I sure don't see anything to be gained from rubbing a puppy's nose in urine.

 

If any client of any escort dared show up in person and confronted an escort who cancelled on them- the entire board would be screaming for them to get a restraining order against the client.

[gallahadesquire]

I live in a ... let's be charitable ... SMALL New England city. Boston's about an hour's drive. Some of my best times (thank you, Gentlemen!) have been with the Orlando locals, because I have a comfy timeshare down there. I can localize and appointment in time to the WEEK, and that's about it.

 

"Are you available that week?" "yeah. Call me when you get down here."

 

Works like a charm. And I'm not being flakey. If some guys are out of town, it's nice to know ahead of time.

[gallahadesquire]

How many Divas does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

How many Divas to change a lightbulb?

 

Three - One to change the bulb, and two to pull the ladder out from under her.

 

My apologies to all.

[Guest joeburger]

no we are not prima donas. we have busy lives and it helps to have a heads up. sometimes i can do last minute but most times i can't because of my busy schedule. is it REALLY too much to ask for someone to plan ahead............REALLY?????

[JoeyBryant]

no we are not prima donas. we have busy lives and it helps to have a heads up. sometimes i can do last minute but most times i can't because of my busy schedule. is it REALLY too much to ask for someone to plan ahead............REALLY?????

 

Not it's not.

 

These days, I don't do any traveling unless I have been pre-booked before hand. When people know they you will only be in their radar for 2-4 days before you're 1,000 miles away again, they are going to FIND a way to plan ahead. 24-48 hours? How about 2 weeks ahead of time. I'm going to Southern Cal next month for some photography work, I'm already booking now well over a month ahead, and by next month to start setting up exact dates. I used to just hop off to places with nothing planned and sometimes it was a good trip, most times it wasn't.

 

Now, the catch is I would still take last minute bookings. And at home as well. But then again, I know everyone has different obligations and cannot operate on a last minute basis when in their hometown.

[MiamiLooker]

no we are not prima donas. we have busy lives and it helps to have a heads up. sometimes i can do last minute but most times i can't because of my busy schedule. is it REALLY too much to ask for someone to plan ahead............REALLY?????

 

If you’re not available for a “last minute” appointment, are you too busy to simply tell the client you’re not available? Or, do you tell them how busy you are and how annoying it is that they don’t plan ahead (if you don’t tell them, they won’t know and you’ll continue to be annoyed)?

[BostonPhil]

"I'm sorry I can't tonight, but tomorrow..." "You can't tomorrow? Is there a better time?" I don't understand why this has gotten under any one's skin. I can understand if they are calling about 30 minutes from now or even an hour, those even get to me some times. I just let it roll right off. It does make me feel like they think I have just been sitting there all day waiting for their call, but hey if I can't do it I can't do. No need to get myself upset about it.

 

Regular client calls, asks if I can see him in forty-five minutes.

 

"Nope, I'm at Ikea eating meat balls..."

[Lohengrin1979]

no we are not prima donas. we have busy lives and it helps to have a heads up. sometimes i can do last minute but most times i can't because of my busy schedule. is it REALLY too much to ask for someone to plan ahead............REALLY?????

 

Planning ahead for my life and career means that sometimes a 4-6 hour block appears and I jump at the chance to schedule a session. Some escorts and masseurs get bent out of shape when I ask for an appointment within that time frame. I respect their right to refuse and move on to the next one. The escorts I hire are the ones who can accommodate my busy schedule, not the other way around, but I surely don't browbeat the ones who cannot.

 

Lohengrin

[Dave]

Regular client calls, asks if I can see him in forty-five minutes.

"Nope, I'm at Ikea eating meat balls..."

 

ach, that would be my DREAM hire! i wanna go to ikea, do a little shopping, have those meatballs for lunch, and then pull my client into the bathroom stall and fuck him there.

i am available to visit any ikea in the united states at a moment's notice. sure, advance planning is more likely to make it happen but hey, if i'm available when you call, i'll do my best to be ready to go asap...

[Dave]

Ice cream don't have bones

 

LOL - gosh you are so right! and so spot on to this discussion!

oh wait, what about dondurma? that shit's whack!

[rvwnsd]

ach, that would be my DREAM hire! i wanna go to ikea, do a little shopping, have those meatballs for lunch, and then pull my client into the bathroom stall and fuck him there.

i am available to visit any ikea in the united states at a moment's notice. sure, advance planning is more likely to make it happen but hey, if i'm available when you call, i'll do my best to be ready to go asap...

 

I guess we should call you by your IKEA furniture name, DÄSV ÄKA RÖKKIND.

 

Hopefully, your veneer won't curl and your legs will remain attached.

 

Here's the Swedish Furniture Name generator:

 

http://www.blogadilla.com/swedishFurniture/swedishFurniture.html

 

 

[Dave]

I also get guys here from Austria who call from the Ritz 40 minutes away and want me there in 10 minutes. I kid you not.

 

i think we have the same client! if so, that guy has about a 30% chance of getting me each time he calls. i love seeing him, we always have a good time - and we connect on many levels - but for his own reasons, he is always unable to book me in advance.

 

isnt austria not around the corner? i mean, it takes some pre-planning to get from austria to dc. IMO, this sort of client is a good example that there are a multitude of factors that exist around hiring -

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey Mikey,

 

I am taking your question with a grain of salt, since you very promptly gave us the right answer in your post; however, I like a challenge and I am going to answer it as best as I can.

 

Are we Prima Donnas if we demand 24 hours in advance? No. We are businessmen who decide, according to our very own and specific schedules, way of life, personal beliefs and religious inclinations to set out own personal ways to deal with our business, our very own way to deal with ourselves and we try to make it work as best as we can. We all have our personal set of rules and by applying those rules and sometimes choosing to break them we are doing nothing but trying thrive in our professional practice

 

We would be Prima Donnas if when anyone demanded anything outside of our comfort zone we got our panties in a bunch and started yelling in a perfect heroic soprano timbre what are the right ways to deal with every escort and "how very dare you treat me like this!". We would be Prima Donnas if we expected everyone to know what we expect from them and then got offended when they failed to deliver. We would be in trouble if we took it personal, and we would be very tired if we were always suffering from their wrong doings.

 

I don't have any reason to assume you fall in either category; I think only you can answer that. We only get a limited and one sided account of what happened. What I do know is that nobody in their right mind could accuse you of unfair practices by demanding advance notice.

 

As for Industry Standards... Yes, I have read in many of your previous posts what seemed like you sharing your desire that everyone in the industry behaved the same way you do, and I have to say that not only it strikes me as impractical, it also occurs to me that we all are engaging in entirely different professions, each one of us adapting the general "escorting trade" to our own needs and talents. For that reason I believe it would not only be difficult to come up with a set of rules, it would be unfair.

 

I, for one, love to have my schedule planned ahead of time, and generally I am booked and scheduled well in advance. However, I have to say that sometimes clients cancel (horror of horrors!) at the very last minute, and I have had even long appointment clients no showed. When that happens, sometimes I like to kick back and enjoy my time off, but sometimes I love it when someone calls out of the blue hoping to meet "now".

 

If I am totally booked and someone wants to meet now, I politely say "Sorry, I am totally booked tonight, and normally booking in advance works better, but if some other night you find yourself with time and want to try your luck at a last minute appointment, please be my guest; if I am available, I will be more than happy to meet you."

 

To some, accepting a last minute call would look like I am a cheap, desperate ho. To some others, however, it would make me look like "That hot escort that could meet me with very little notice."

 

I am willing to live with this.

 

My only point is that exactly the same way we can not all wear the same condom size, it would be foolish, even dangerous to try to apply the same rules to every single meeting. One of the most delicious things about this industry is that we are all so exquisitely different! Both clients and escorts are individuals,and when I remember that, it is easier to let go of frustration or insult, when maybe they didn't mean it. We all just want to get laid! =)

 

Keep up with the good work, stud, and keep 'em smiling!

[gp0560]

What about a longer notice?

 

This has been an interesting conversation about a simple 24-hour notice. How about a two-month notice? Here's what happened to me. It's a long story, but I want to give actual quotes on both sides:

 

For several months, I had been trying to schedule some time with [Mr. X]. Come to find out, he could travel to a city I was planning to visit. Ideal time to get together, right?

Me: I plan to be in [City] from [Month, Day] to [Month, Day]. Now what are my chances for seeing you there? I cannot afford to fly you in, but if you are there on business anyway, we should hook up. I still want very much to meet you.

 

Him: OMG! [City] is a REAL possibility those dates. I will be touring all spring and summer since no one comes to [my state] when it is hot here. I am formulating the dates and hotel arrangements (flights, etc. ) now in all my spare time (lol). I have 17 potential [City] clients. [Month] is a long way off but I will try to schedule my [City] tour to correspond with your visit. [Next email:] I will go ahead and just plan [City] that week.

 

 

That was the extent of the commitment on both sides. At that point, I really really wanted to see him. About two months before [Month Day], something happened to make me change my mind, so I wrote to him to cancel.

Me: Sorry to have to tell you this, but I want to cancel the idea of getting together in [City] this [Month]. Although this email gives you two months notice, if I am causing you financial harm in any way, please let me know, and I will make it right for you.

 

Him: What happened? It is no problem but I am concerned. Please be honest with me because you seemed really into it and so sure of your plans.

 

Me: You are right, [Mr. X], for a long time I was really into it. It's just that I no longer think that we are an especially good match-up. It's the kind of feeling where there is no "fault" on either side, it's just a new awareness that this won't be a good "marriage," so to speak. Sorry, and take care.

 

Him: Please do not ever contact me again under any circumstance or for any reason. What a waste of time. Nothing has changed on my end at all. U r a flake. No offense but that is true. Goodbye.

 

Me: "No offense"? Are you fucking kidding me? Your response confirms my suspicions about not being a good match. And I will repeat, if two months notice is not enough to prevent financial harm to you, please let me know.

 

Him: Sir. I asked you NOT to contact me. Do not contact me. Ever!

 

 

Another interesting point is that [Mr. X] used to work in a hurricane devastated Gulf coast city and recently relocated to a Gulf coast city in another state that is often hit by hurricanes.

 

Thoughts from y'all?

[Dave]

I guess we should call you by your IKEA furniture name, DÄSV ÄKA RÖKKIND.

 

Hopefully, your veneer won't curl and your legs will remain attached.

 

Here's the Swedish Furniture Name generator:

 

http://www.blogadilla.com/swedishFurniture/swedishFurniture.html

 

 

 

thanks so much - i LOVE the ikea furniture name generator! in just minutes i've used it to learn how to say these useful things in swedish:

 

SFUKK YOU IIND TJ MENS RÅOMKE

"fuck you in the men’s room"

EET MII METBALLSV, MII MET, ÄND MII BJÅLLS

"eat my meatballs, my meat, and my balls"

B KÅREFYL SNÅT TO GET TÅO MYKKH IKEA STJUFJED ÅÅRD YÅUR HÅYS WYLL SLOÖK SLIKKEN ÄANVIK IKEA SFÅURÖOMKE

"be careful not to get too much ikea stuff, or your house will look like an ikea showroom"

(i know that last one sounds a little like an ancient chinese proverb...)

 

now i am really ready to go to ikea. call me, pre-bookings appreciated, but hell i'll skip the SFAFINNG and ÄSJS KLLENINNG and even GETTING DRESVSVED

by now you should be able to see that i have a pretty serious IKKEA SFETISH.

god even just writing this makes my DYKK HÄRD...

thank you, rvwnsd!

[Dave]

to quote Juan, in swedish:

EXAKTLLII TJ SAMM WÅII W KANVIK NOT ÄLLL WEARVIK TJ SAM KÅNTÅMKE SYZ

"exactly the same way we can not all wear the same condom size"

oh god the ikea thing is hijacking this thread. its not me doing it, it's that damned swedish furniture name generator! ok, let me steer us back on track:

 

Me: Sorry to have to tell you this, but I want to cancel the idea of getting together in [City] this [Month]. Although this email gives you two months notice, if I am causing you financial harm in any way, please let me know, and I will make it right for you.

 

Him: What happened? It is no problem but I am concerned. Please be honest with me because you seemed really into it and so sure of your plans.

 

Me: You are right, [Mr. X], for a long time I was really into it. It's just that I no longer think that we are an especially good match-up. It's the kind of feeling where there is no "fault" on either side, it's just a new awareness that this won't be a good "marriage," so to speak. Sorry, and take care.

 

unfortunately he then had a negative reaction, and if i am honest here, i must admit that i can relate to his feelings of frustration. i have no idea who the escort is that you dealt with, but its clear to me that he

genuinely

wanted to know what your reason for canceling was.

 

in my opinion, its unfortunate that you werent a bit more forthcoming with your reason. not at first, but hey,

he was pressing you.

he wanted to know specifics, and you really didn't explain

why

you weren't a good match. sometimes just hearing a tangible reason can be enough to allow someone to move on.

 

i recognize that you were willing to pay him something anyway, and that is to your merit. in fact, i bet that because you offered such, you felt like you didnt need to give him anything else. you gave him plenty of notice, and generously offered to make good financially on your cancellation. but i suspect he wanted something more.

 

its funny, i think that often times clients have no clue how some of us escorts feel about the business. this guy is not just in escorting for the money; if he were, that conversation wouldve gone a very different way. i think he really wanted to know what your reason was for cancelling. and i would've, too.

[gp0560]

unfortunately he then had a negative reaction, and if i am honest here, i must admit that i can relate to his feelings of frustration. i have no idea who the escort is that you dealt with, but its clear to me that he

genuinely

wanted to know what your reason for canceling was.

 

in my opinion, its unfortunate that you werent a bit more forthcoming with your reason. not at first, but hey,

he was pressing you.

he wanted to know specifics, and you really didn't explain

why

you weren't a good match. sometimes just hearing a tangible reason can be enough to allow someone to move on.

 

i recognize that you were willing to pay him something anyway, and that is to your merit. in fact, i bet that because you offered such, you felt like you didnt need to give him anything else. you gave him plenty of notice, and generously offered to make good financially on your cancellation. but i suspect he wanted something more.

 

its funny, i think that often times clients have no clue how some of us escorts feel about the business. this guy is not just in escorting for the money; if he were, that conversation wouldve gone a very different way. i think he really wanted to know what your reason was for cancelling. and i would've, too.

I get your point, Dave, and if I could have put my change of heart into words, I would have. Unfortunately, all I had to offer was my sixth sense, gut feeling that it wouldn't work. There is one other factor, though, and that is I didn't want to get into a pissing match with him. Now that I have seen his reaction, I can't help but think we'd still be pissing.

[jjkrkwood]

You can TALK all you'd like, and you can expect and ask ALL you'd like, but bottom line, in the end, the Client will do what hE wants to do. Whetehr it be planning ahead or spur of the moment, the escort just needs to deal with it if he wants the business. And if not, then dont. Rules and regulations wont work because remember, there is always an escort younger than you, hotter than you, cheaper than you and hung bigger than you that will be willing to accept your rejected client.

 

In the end, the client feels that since HE is the one paying, he has the right to orchestrate the meeting, and for the most part he is right...

[Juan Vancouver]

You can TALK all you'd like, and you can expect and ask ALL you'd like, but bottom line, in the end, the Client will do what hE wants to do. Whetehr it be planning ahead or spur of the moment, the escort just needs to deal with it if he wants the business. And if not, then dont. Rules and regulations wont work because remember, there is always an escort younger than you, hotter than you, cheaper than you and hung bigger than you that will be willing to accept your rejected client.

 

In the end, the client feels that since HE is the one paying, he has the right to orchestrate the meeting, and for the most part he is right...

 

Strange: Most of the time I find myself disagreeing intensely with what you have to say, but in this instance, Jjkrkwood, I think you really hit the nail on the head and drove it home.

 

The client will do as he pleases.

 

It is the escort's obligation and right to accept those clients that are a good match and pass on those who aren't.

 

There's nothing more to it.

 

I would only ad, In the end, the escort feels that since he is the one offering the service he has the right to accept the engagement or let is pass, and for the most part he is right. =)