How many tries?

[julius]

This question is really for both escorts and clients. Where is the line between persistence and pest? I usually only hire when I’m traveling, and I like to book in advance. Sometimes initial emails/messages/texts go unanswered, and I was wondering how many contacts are appropriate before giving up?

 

For instance, I’m going to be in NYC soon, and I emailed two guys, both glowingly reviewed here. The first responded within 48 hours, and after a few emails back & forth, we set up a time & date; I’m really looking forward to it. The other guy, however, hadn’t responded in a week, so I sent him a second email. Still no answer. The second guy sounds great and I’d really like to meet him, too, but I don’t want to be the guy who can’t take a hint. His ad says he prefers email or phone contact (in that order) and I’m tempted to give it one more shot by phone before moving on.

 

Thoughts? Clients, how many “no replies” before you give up? Escorts, how many emails/calls before you feel harassed?

[Epigonos]

I always make my initial contact with an prospective candidate by email. If, however, I hadn't heard back after two emails and I was still interested in getting together with the guy I wouldn't hesitate to attempt telephone contact. Nothing ventured nothing gained -- go for it!!!!!

[maxwellissmart]

The first responded within 48 hours, and after a few emails back & forth, we set up a time & date; I’m really looking forward to it. The other guy, however, hadn’t responded in a week, so I sent him a second email. Still no answer.

 

I try to answer emails within the same hour I receive them. To me, 48 hours is kinda lame. With that said, clients who send the initial M4RN thingy and then don't respond to my follow up get two shots, in case my reply went to spam. After that, there's not too much I can do, considering I can be emailed, texted or called. Anything after that gets an email filter.

[orbital sander]

I would give someone 24hrs to respond to a call or an e-mail, otherwise I would assume they are away or unavailable and move on and find someone else. I am a prompt and respectful person and I expect that of others or I really do not want to be involved with them.

[gallahadesquire]

i had a fellow who missed my first email. He was sorely apologetic when he got the second one. We're working on our sixth get-together and I hope to take him to Disneyworld in March.

 

After repeated messages, another escort has told me that, if I want an appointment, I have to send a money order for half of the estimated time together. I guess I've graduated

to Major Flake.

[OneFinger]

My initial contact is always via e-mail. I think the 24-hour rule is good and I typically give up after 2 e-mails.

 

FYI, I found the escorts in NYC to be a little flaky with advance appointments. I typically like to have things arranged well in advance of travel there. However, most of the escorts seem to only want "can you be here in an hour" appointments. So, I usually use an escort service rather than trying to do things on my own. Never been disappointed using an agency.

[raulgmanzo]

...Where is the line between persistence and pest?

 

I don't think there is a hard and fast line and one shouldn't regard lack of an answer as a hint.

If an escort doesn't want to or cant see a client or a client changes his mind then they should simply say as much.

 

I get dozens of emails and texts and calls every single day. Sometimes many dozens.

I need a break now and then and everybody deserves a weekend. Expecting emails or even calls to always be answered even within 24 hours is in my opinion too much. An escorts "weekend" may not be Saturday and Sunday.

 

While traveling the internet connection is often so awful that I put off answering emails that are not time sensitive or pertinent to the trip.

 

I saw an ad where the escort said he "ALWAYS" answer a call/email within 30 minutes.

Even when with a client? Or sleeping? Or an appointment with the dentist? Driving? On a flight?

I get appointments at 3am. Afterwards you can bet that I'm gonna sleep in and not answer a bunch of calls as promptly as one might hope.

 

Several times a year I get a text message days after it was sent and far more often with email.

Occasionally I find email that had screwed up headers and is buried deep in my inbox.

Many email servers can take up to several days holding on to an email message for retries before bouncing either back or sometimes trying a different path.

 

Many times I answer an inquiry from a site and the mail to the client bounces.

Like john smith has his email as jonhmsith@yahooo Sometimes I can and do guess what it should have been but that is risky. To be discreet I would rather NOT send the email to the wrong person.

 

Some guys must live in a very different and very perfect world. Or have several backup cell phone and email providers along with a secretary.

[+ Shoreboy]

I have a new twist to this post. I travel for a living and am usually on the road more than I am home.

 

I know my travel plans weeks in advance and when I go to hire I usually like to set it up a week in advance. That gives an escort more than enough time to get back to me via email and in many cases I never hear from any of them.

 

Also, I like to have an escort "pencil" me in and then once I am in a certain city I call, confirm and ask them to move me from "pencil" tp "pen"...some escorts go for this theory and others will not even do that and tell me to call the day I want an appointment. Those are the ones that I tend to ignore. Why? The answer is simple. I did this once and had my time-frame all set and was "penciled" in....then when I called the day of the appointment the escort told me he had booked someone else!

 

Maybe I am too organized even with my fun time?

[Guest countryboywny]

I only give a guy one shot. I want a guy who is professional, committed to his business and organized. I always include a brief description of myself and if I don't hear back, I assume that I'm not his "type", or he doesn't handle his business very well. Both being "red flags" for a successful meeting. The other reason I don't do a second email is I believe in karma, if it's right, I'll hear back. I also don't want to be a pest to a guy who chooses not to respond to me.

[wayout]

I just got an email this morning from an escort replying to my inquiry for meeting. Problem is, I sent that email in early September and never heard anything back until today. I couldn't help but laugh after getting his email and certainly not a guy that I will be meeting.

 

For those escorts that do not specify a preference or do prefer emails, as I typically book a few weeks or more in advance because of my travel schedule, my general rule of thumb is to send an email, wait a week and if I have not heard back to send a second and final email. I feel a week after the first one is sufficient time for most anyone to respond, even if the escort is busy or traveling. The followup email is just in case it might have been overlooked, they aren't convinced I am serious because of the advance booking or the email ended up in his spam folder (even though the followup email might also end up there as well). If no reply then I move on as they are not serious about their profession, they are not showing proper respect to potential clients and/or they are out of the biz.

 

 

I get dozens of emails and texts and calls every single day. Sometimes many dozens.

I need a break now and then and everybody deserves a weekend. Expecting emails or even calls to always be answered even within 24 hours is in my opinion too much. An escorts "weekend" may not be Saturday and Sunday.

 

While traveling the internet connection is often so awful that I put off answering emails that are not time sensitive or pertinent to the trip.

 

From a client's perspective, one thing that I have seen and liked from escorts when they are traveling is an automated response that they will get back to me after they return or sooner if it relates to a meeting in the city they are currently at or traveling to soon. Most email providers have that option and is pretty easy to set up and use. The automated response can also be used when not traveling to give some indication of a time frame as to when they will get back to me. I don't mind the automated reply as I like knowing that the email got through and there is an indication that they intend to respond in a specified time frame so I don't wonder what's going on if I don't hear back from them after a bit of time. It is critical the escort is disciplined enough to respond in the time frame they promise otherwise they lose credibility in my eyes as a serious professional and it is just as bad as not replying at all.

[Guest Merlin]

Some escorts have told me that clients who contact them several days in advance tend to be no-shows. I don't contact more than a week in advance and if I get no response, I wait until a day or two prior.

[maxwellissmart]

I just got an email this morning from an escort replying to my inquiry for meeting. Problem is, I sent that email in early September and never heard anything back until today.

 

I've never done that, actually—but have had would-be clients do it to me repeatedly.

[gallahadesquire]

My initial contact is always via e-mail. I think the 24-hour rule is good and I typically give up after 2 e-mails.

 

FYI, I found the escorts in NYC to be a little flaky with advance appointments. I typically like to have things arranged well in advance of travel there. However, most of the escorts seem to only want "can you be here in an hour" appointments. So, I usually use an escort service rather than trying to do things on my own. Never been disappointed using an agency.

 

Which agency?

[hornytwells]

I have to say I felt very disheartened having sent several emails over the course of a year (at suitably distant intervals, so as not to appear stalkerish!) and was going to give up, but when the escort in question did respond, he was totally charming and made the appointment straight away> it seems he was just a bit flakey earlier in the year, and had an ad running on rent boy he didn't check> not the most professional perhaps, but its not his full time job, and it also depends on just how keen you are to keep trying> Generally speaking though, i agree, if they do not answer after 2 enquiries, its just a waste of time. Blu Kennedy cancelled on me 3 times in a row at last minute, with no excuse, so I gave up

[Kevin Slater]

I found the escorts in NYC to be a little flaky with advance appointments. I typically like to have things arranged well in advance of travel there. However, most of the escorts seem to only want "can you be here in an hour" appointments.

 

Inevitably if I agree to set something up weeks or (egad!) months in advance, I'm signing on to hear every little change to his itinerary. "The Bat Mitzvah has been moved... My job may push the trip back a few days... I have a slight pain just above my right ankle..." This usually follows dozens of emails describing likes and dislikes and asking about my potential wardrobe.

 

My schedule is not so busy that we can't arrange this once he hits town, has his schedule down and knows where he'll be staying. Experience tells me that the further away the session, the less likely it is to happen. In the meantime, I will be contacted by scores of fellows wanting to meet then and there. Trying to run a business, with whom would you rather deal?

 

For a potential session more than a few days out, I am happy to reply to an email asking whether I plan to be in town that date, leaving it that we'll settle the details by phone once he's landed, and the chemistry will feel more like a hot hook-up rather than a biannual tooth cleaning.

 

Kevin Slater

[maxwellissmart]

Inevitably if I agree to set something up weeks or (egad!) months in advance, I'm signing on to hear every little change to his itinerary. "The Bat Mitzvah has been moved... My job may push the trip back a few days... I have a slight pain just above my right ankle..." This usually follows dozens of emails describing likes and dislikes and asking about my potential wardrobe.

 

My schedule is not so busy that we can't arrange this once he hits town, has his schedule down and knows where he'll be staying. Experience tells me that the further away the session, the less likely it is to happen. In the meantime, I will be contacted by scores of fellows wanting to meet then and there. Trying to run a business, with whom would you rather deal?

 

For a potential session more than a few days out, I am happy to reply to an email asking whether I plan to be in town that date, leaving it that we'll settle the details by phone once he's landed, and the chemistry will feel more like a hot hook-up rather than a biannual tooth cleaning.

 

Kevin Slater

 

I love you, Kevin.

[Epigonos]

With a new escort I frequently book several weeks in advance. I currently have a get together scheduled for the first week of January. When I do this type of booking I make certain that the escort knows that I am serious. How do I do that? I provide him with my home and cell telephone numbers and the name of the hotel where I have made reservations. My email address includes my real name so he also has that piece of information. In one of my early emails I provide the escort with a considerable amount of information about myself physically as well as stating my sexual likes and dislikes. Operating in the manner has always worked well for me and escorts seem assured that I will NOT be a no show.

[maxwellissmart]

With a new escort I frequently book several weeks in advance. I currently have a get together scheduled for the first week of January. When I do this type of booking I make certain that the escort knows that I am serious. How do I do that? I provide him with my home and cell telephone numbers and the name of the hotel where I have made reservations. My email address includes my real name so he also has that piece of information. In one of my early emails I provide the escort with a considerable amount of information about myself physically as well as stating my sexual likes and dislikes. Operating in the manner has always worked well for me and escorts seem assured that I will NOT be a no show.

 

I used to have clients do this all the time and it worked most all of the time. Now, maybe 2-3 clients a month will book in advance—more often than not I get "available now?" or "this weekend?"

 

I always strive to book time with someone who will be forthcoming in an initial email, because it always makes me think they know exactly what they're doing and what they want.

[Decatur Guy]

I use a three strikes rule with people I'm trying to contact, escorts or otherwise.

 

On my third and final attempt, I'll usually say something along the lines I've tried to get in contact you with you twice and haven't heard back. And then I say/write I don't want to be a pest, so I'm not going to send further e-mails or make further calls and if you want to connect, please get in touch.

 

I don't like to write people off immediately, because there are technical issues, accidental deletions of e-mails or messages or people in a crisis (for instance, I was in the hospital this fall and didn't answer e-mails for three weeks.)

 

I will assume after three attempts, one of the three should have reached the recipient, if spread out a proper amount of time -- say 7 to 14 days.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Inevitably if I agree to set something up weeks or (egad!) months in advance, I'm signing on to hear every little change to his itinerary. "The Bat Mitzvah has been moved... My job may push the trip back a few days... I have a slight pain just above my right ankle..." This usually follows dozens of emails describing likes and dislikes and asking about my potential wardrobe.

 

My schedule is not so busy that we can't arrange this once he hits town, has his schedule down and knows where he'll be staying. Experience tells me that the further away the session, the less likely it is to happen. In the meantime, I will be contacted by scores of fellows wanting to meet then and there. Trying to run a business, with whom would you rather deal?

 

For a potential session more than a few days out, I am happy to reply to an email asking whether I plan to be in town that date, leaving it that we'll settle the details by phone once he's landed, and the chemistry will feel more like a hot hook-up rather than a biannual tooth cleaning.

 

Kevin Slater

 

Kevin -- I understand where you are coming from. And maybe I'm the exception to the rule. But I remember early in my hiring days (last year), I contacted a guy about an appointment. I contacted him in October. For a January hire. In retrospect, he must have thought me a flake, probably as you would. He responded as you did, and asked me to contact him when we were closer to the date and so I waited. But as it ended up, I did hire him for the day in January I first had mentioned to him more than 3 months earlier. We've been together now 9 or 10 times since. And I hope that he will be my escort to the Palm Springs gathering in March. And I can't wait to see him when he gives a tour of his studio after the DC luncheon. Yup. It was Dave.

 

I guess the real problem you guys have is differentiating between the flakes and the serious guys. And it sure isn't easy.

[Strafe13]

Slight Variation

 

I've had a slightly similar scenario I've been meaning to ask the forum about. A few weeks ago I was checking out rentmen.com and was contacted by an escort who used the site's feature to see that I had read his ad. He was persistent (sent 2 e-mails), and after reading his reviews here (he only has like 2 or 3, and is a relatively recent European addition to the NYC market), I decided to go for it. Although we started communicating by e-mail, he preferred text messaging, so we spoke that way exclusively after the first few e-mails. We set up a date for an in-call at his Manhattan place on my day off on Veteran's Day at 11:30am (he offered weekday daytime appts and I had a mid-afternoon engagement), but he wouldn't give me his address until the morning of, at which time he asked to switch to 12-noon. I agreed, but was commuting from the outer boroughs. I missed my bus, but texted him to let him know and hoped to be there by either 12:15 or 12:30. His exact response was "12:30 perfect".

 

Due to train delays (I take a bus to the nearest train station) I exited the station nearest his place shortly after 12:30 and while walking to his location, I called and received no answer. So I texted him at 12:41pm and he informed me that he left to run errands when he didn't hear from me. Turns out he sent a bunch of texts, well before 12:30, asking where I was or if I was close. His final text was at 12:34pm saying he had to leave. (All these texts were sent while I was underground on the NYC subway, so I didn't get them until I was walking to his place.) I felt bad that I ran behind, so I understood if he might have thought that I was going to be a no-show. However, he said he "had to leave the house", but he left after only 4 minutes past our scheduled meeting time. And we'd scheduled for an hour-and-a-half, so he should have had nothing to do for the next 86 minutes. I find that a bit unprofessional, especially since one working in NYC should know that commuting delays are common and that a person won't receive texts while on the underground portion of the subway.

 

I apologized to him and he said he'd see if he was available later in the day. True to his word, he did contact me later (so, that's kind of a good sign, I guess.), but our schedules didn't synch for the rest of the evening. I offered the weekend, but he never got back to me.

 

Now my question is if I should bother to try again with this guy. Although I didn't like that he left after 4 minutes, it was my fault for being late. And, his few reviews sounded great and exactly what I was looking for, since he's a real masseur and I wanted a massage as well. But will it seem creepy to contact him after our extensive contacts last time didn't provide the desired result? Since he never got back to me about weekend dates, should I take that as a hint that he doesn't see me as a client he wants to do business with? I think I already know where I'm leaning, but I'd appreciate the advice of other forum members. Thanks.

[maxwellissmart]

And we'd scheduled for an hour-and-a-half, so he should have had nothing to do for the next 86 minutes.

 

Chances are he had someone waiting in the wings and when he determined you as being a no-show, he went for the sure thing. I've done this, but only because someone was being flakey-vague about scheduling and/or had a habit of canceling an hour after they were supposed to be at my door. The last time it happened, they finally decided to show up as I was leaving to go see another client.

 

That said, 4 minutes is a bit of a stretch. I usually give someone 30 before making other plans—and even then, if I can still squeeze them in I will. Unless they're like the dick who has now sent me over 50 emails—52 to be precise—to finally schedule for a 1-hour massage appointment, and (surprise) he canceled just as we were supposed to meet. BLOCK.

[OneFinger]

Which agency?

I like younger guys and use Campus.

 

http://www.campusescorts.com/

[julius]

Thanks for all the input. I think if I’m booking a couple of weeks in advance, waiting a day or two for a response is no big deal. But certainly someone who’s looking for a hook-up that night is looking for a quick reply. I like booking in advance precisely because it gives me something fun to look foward to: more like a party than a dental appointment. And if I’m planning a trip, I always like to check ahead before booking to find out if one of my favorite guys will at least be in town at the time. Even so, more than once when I’ve been told “call me when you get in town” I’d hear “sorry, I’m booked” when I did.

 

FWIW, guy #2 did get back to me and was very apologetic about the delay; he was indeed traveling. He was unavailable, but recommended another guy (also very well-reviewed here) which I thought was very considerate.

[Michael Wayne]

This is strictly my OPINION and business practice so no judgement at all toward anyone else. I return all inquiries (no matter how it comes) within a few hours with NO exceptions. While I may take a day, a week or even two weeks off my secretary, agent, personal assistant (ME! lol) never has a day off. The booking process is ongoing. In my opinion it is an INSULT to a new client to ignore his inquiry. What happens to me all the time is that the new client expresses SHOCK AND amazement THAT AN ESCORT RESPONDS SO FAST. I respond whether I am available ot not even if I am booked up for the next week. why? Because you never know which one out of 100 inquiries will become that SPECIAL client...aka an annuity check! A simple answer to an inquiry lets the new client know you are real and not an asshole or a jerk. and let's be honest here: We rentboys have a real P.R. problem on our hands now. The public perception is we all have big attitudes to go along with our big dicks and big muscles. Simply responding quickly to an inquiry goes along way toward showing a new client that you are an exception to the rule. Also, frankly, alot of us are guilty of creating a false public impression that we are busier than we actually are. This is a secret to the biz and it is done to create buzz. The truth is thAT many, many leading escorts SIT HOME ALONE JERKING OFF ON A SATURDAY NIGHT because the whole world assumes they must be busy because that is the public perception and it actually keeps wanna be client from communicating with us. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1 239-464-6053 (contact me and test me to see if i respond in a timely manner)