Did You See The New Star In The East?

[+ Gar1eth]

http://www.kathrynrblake.com/images/115_When_Hell_Freezes_Over-115_01-31.gif

 

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_y1obSLk0ax4/S_KBclpbLBI/AAAAAAAAF04/Hed4j-so3w0/s1600/flying+pigs+3.jpg

 

Or possibly you were alerted by the events depicted above? For those of you who somehow missed it, I will give a little background. In August on the advice of counsel, I signed up for some various sites--Zoosk, OKCupid to try to meet some guys. Because I have an "acute" need as well as wanting something more long term, I signed up for the Manhunt, Adam4adam, Bear411, and several others. The results in general have been dismal. For the most part if anyone has responded it's been to say---thank you, but no thanks. I don't really blame them--I'm not attracted to full figured guys like myself (an allusion to Jane Russell and her ads for Playtex if anyone on the Forum is old enough to remember them). I mean there is one 27 year who would like to fool around--but I'm not sure he has a job, car etc... There was also a guy about my age--looked a lot like the same body type I have-and couldn't meet at his place because he lives with his mother. I'm not totally knocking living with your mother--if things hadn't worked out like they have, I could envision me living with mine --but still....

 

So I had pretty much given up on the sites--and the hook-up sites especially. Then last week someone contacted me on one of the hook-up sites. He asked me if I was interested in getting together to meet. We talked a bit on the phone after that--we sounded compatible and met for coffee and pie. I have to tell all of you that it was the best pie I've ever had--Dutch Apple Crumb, if you were wondering.

 

We liked each other, and as a plus--he didn't seem like an ax murderer (or at least he was considerate enough on a 1st date to leave the ax in the trunk). Long before the 3rd cup of coffee had finished cooling, we--well geez how should I put this delicately-- we repaired back to his hotel and WE HAD SEX!!!!!

 

Now I know most of you must be wondering, "What's the big deal?" But the last time anyone told me that they were interested in me or found me attractive was 2003. I had gone to a gay bar-and while I'm not out now, I was much, much, much less out back then. I had been a bit forward with the guy at the bar--ok I had had a few beers--he actually asked me out on a date. If that had occurred now, I probably would have accepted, back then it was something I just couldn't really imagine doing. Plus I was about to move--and I didn't want any entanglements as I was leaving the city. Not to mention I had only ever had sex about 3 times back then all with escorts.

 

So to summarize--this was really the 1st time I have EVER met someone who thought I was attractive and wanted to "make love with me" outside in the normal non bath house world. And in the bath house world, my score is about 4 singles over the course of 9 years--the other times have all been strike outs. All my other experiences have only been with our favorite topics of discussion here on this Forum.

 

I am hoping the 2 of us have a chance to meet again. Unfortunately, he lives far away from me and travels extensively for his job--that's for real--I saw his business card and home address.

 

I also am not really expecting it to happen again with anyone else. This was a fluke occurrence. For some strange reason this handsome guy likes "large guys". It also brings up the question--whether since this was probably a one time occurrence--does it set me up for disappointment when it doesn't happen again--would it have been better for it never to have happened. I mean I have been disappointed because it had never happened in the past--and I didn't have much hope for the future. Is this one episode going to cause hurt because now there will always be that little spark ...that little thought at the back of my head, "It happened once-there might be a second star in the east some day on the horizon."

 

My gut feeling is yes--that's exactly what will happen. But at least I had my one experience when I never thought I would have any.

 

And it felt great.

 

Gman

[Diverdan]

Gman,

Thanks for sharing... and good for you to keep your options open and your sense of adventure and possibilities open. YES, you are very likely to have this happen again, you just need to be open to it.

 

Several years ago, I had something very similar happen, except it was with a much younger black man. I could not believe that he was flirting with me and even more astounded at what happened later that evening. To make a long story short, I found out that he preferred older while males for reasons I won't go into here. As a result of that one encounter, we became good friends (with benefits) and we continued to see each other, did some traveling together, etc., until I moved out of town. He went on to meet another guy that met his qualifications, moved in with him and they lived together for many years until the younger guy died in a tragic accident.

 

I have many friends who met guys when they least expected it and when they were not trying hard. So, just relax and be yourself. There are many guys out there who will love to be with you. Just don't be disappointed when it doesn't happen every night !!!!

 

Keep yourself open to new experiences....

 

DD

[+ purplekow]

Congratulations on the cherry popping. Exult in it and start to relax as a sexual being and pretty soon you will like a panther out on the prowl with the gay men of your area in danger of falling into your well manicured claws.

[+ Charlie]

http://www.kathrynrblake.com/images/115_When_Hell_Freezes_Over-115_01-31.gif

 

--would it have been better for it never to have happened. Gman

"Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." Well, OK, it wasn't exactly love, but I think the sentiment is still valid.

[Steven_Draker]

Gman, congratulations ... truly

 

I know the feeling.

[OneFinger]

Congrats Gman!! It's great to hear positive stuff happening.

 

Enjoy this experience and trust it will happen again.

 

BTW, I've corresponded previously on another forum with someone using the Gman signature. Do you use that same screen name other places?

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Gman -

 

Thanks for sharing your experience. It is a lesson learned for me to stretch outside me normal comfort zone, be persistent, and await the long-term results. This lesson can be applied in not only personal matters, but also my professional life.

 

Sam

[justaguy]

Congrats, Gman! Don't sweat whether or not it was a one shot thing. It felt great and made you happy. Revel in the moment for as long as you can.

[+ Shoreboy]

Bravo Gman for taking the step and believing in yourself....hopefully now you can fully see your self worth and beauty

[leigh.bess.toad]

Gman -- that makes me happy beyond words. It happens sometimes in the strangest and least expected places and ways. In my case, I met my bf on Craigslist. I almost never looked there, but for some reason, that day I did. He had an ad saying "57 year old guy looking for more". Why I responded I don't know. I really didn't know if I wanted or was ready for a LTR. Two weeks from today we celebrate our 6 month anniversary together. Not an eternity yet. But we are planning for the years to come already, but still moving slowly, building the base of the relationship.

 

I do know of other couples who have met through sites such as Grindr, MH and the like.

 

I am very happy for you. Self-confidence is an incredible turn-on to others. But the opposite can be true. I think new member Maxwellissmart said it very well in another post earlier today:

 

BTW—confidence and positivity are always attractive qualities to have. And from the perspective of an escort, having to deal with someone else's low self confidence and constant need for reassurance is not only draining, but it's a HUGE turn off.

 

Hopefully, this is not a one-time thing only, but even if it is, revel in it and know now that you can do it. Enjoy and congrats.

[Guest jstlooknthx]

That was very sweet to read. It also reminded me of a guy my friends and I knew in the late 70's. Beautiful french canandian man. Late twenties, naturally blond, masculine and athletic, gorgeous sweet face, and a very nice sincere man. We often talked about him because he was only attracted to men who looked like Archie Bunker, aka Carrol O'Connor +10-20 yrs! He was wealthy and not looking for a sugar daddy what so ever. The baths were friendlier places pre-plague and we would often meet there on the weekends after the bars. Many times we would see him with an out of shape, white haired man well past 60. He was sweet and engaging with them. They mostly looked entranced and bewildered as if they were wondering if they were dreaming.

I always said to my friends, "I only hope when I'm that age, there is someone like him around!"

[bigvalboy]

Ok Gman, here goes, I know that I am going to catch alot of grief for saying this and many posters will start the immediate bombardment, but I just have to say this anyway. I am thrilled about hearing about your experience and while others have said that loving yourself is the most important aspect of a happy life, all these things are true and I will agree 100%, but can you imagine just for a moment how many more encounters of sexual attraction might occur if you lost some of the weight, and became more attractive to a larger segment of the population? You have talked about this weight problem before and it just seems to me that it has become a problem for you. If it is something that you talk about in numerous posts then it is something that clearly bothers you. Why not do something about it. I hope that this last encounter gave you the encouragement and the hope to realize that this is NOT a one time thing, or at least it does not have to be. You seem like a really great person with alot of fantastic qualities, if you are content with your size, then I am in your corner, thick or thin, but if the weight does bother you then all I am saying is you can do something about it. You have that power....Best to you always, BVB

[+ Gar1eth]

Ok Gman, here goes, I know that I am going to catch alot of grief for saying this and many posters will start the immediate bombardment, but I just have to say this anyway. I am thrilled about hearing about your experience and while others have said that loving yourself is the most important aspect of a happy life, all these things are true and I will agree 100%, but can you imagine just for a moment how many more encounters of sexual attraction might occur if you lost some of the weight, and became more attractive to a larger segment of the population? You have talked about this weight problem before and it just seems to me that it has become a problem for you. If it is something that you talk about in numerous posts then it is something that clearly bothers you. Why not do something about it. I hope that this last encounter gave you the encouragement and the hope to realize that this is NOT a one time thing, or at least it does not have to be. You seem like a really great person with alot of fantastic qualities, if you are content with your size, then I am in your corner, thick or thin, but if the weight does bother you then all I am saying is you can do something about it. You have that power....Best to you always, BVB

 

 

 

No grief at all--you are 500% right. I wish I could do it. It's possible--but it's also possible for a monkey to sit at a typewriter and reproduce Shakespeare's entire collection.

 

Gman

[zeyfur]

Good luck to you x x x

[Phil_musc]

Congratulations, Gman. It's good to read such happy news about you! Don't worry about whether it will ever happen again - it did and that's really all that matters. As Charlie said above, it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. I truly believe that.

 

I would take issue though with what you wrote to BVB - analogizing weight loss to a roomful of monkeys at typewriters producing Shakespeare? I don't believe that one for a second and neither should you.

 

But thanks again for the sweet report - it really appealed to the closet romantic in me. As Maud said to Harold at the end of that wonderful movie,"That's nice, Harold. Now go out and love some more."

[+ Lucky]

A very nice report, and nicely written too. Weight loss is such a challenge for so many folks. Genes and glands seem to have something to do with it.

But I sure would keep trying, if not for my health alone.

[N13]

I am touched and impressed with the outpouring of good feelings for Gman.

 

N13

[+ Gar1eth]

I am touched and impressed with the outpouring of good feelings for Gman.

 

N13

 

You can all be assured that Gman is too.

 

G

[orbital sander]

good work, and I hope much more is to come!