Sex Enjoyment

[+ purplekow]

JJ i am not sure why one would go into a session with the idea that the act itself would be "work" in an onerous sense. I work in a service industry. There are times i have great fun experiences and other times it is a job. Why should these encounters be any different? However, if someone walks in and expresses the attitude you expressed here, that I am there to do a job, I do a job and probably make less effort to expand the encounter. Perhaps, your sessions seem like work, awkward and quickly forgotten work at that, because you make the escort feel as though he is working. Perhaps if you relaxed and considered the possibility of the session being more, it might be. I do get the feeling this is falling into the old dog, new trick or perhaps old trick new dog category so I shall not try to persuade you any differently in the future.

[+ dupontversDC]

The best escorts are the ones who clearly enjoy sex with clients, you can go through the motions, but can't fake it to the level of the best in the business.

 

When you're with AJ Irons or DavidSF or the like, its clear they are into it, really enjoy sex, and find something in the session to turn them on in a real way. This ability is what separates the good from the great in escorting.

 

I, too, like the new...so that only adds to the excitement.

[jjkrkwood]

Maybe you're not doing it right.

 

My reply wasnt about technique, it was more about familiarity and attraction... But I repect that you saw an opportunity to take a shot, and you went for it.... Thats pretty much how it is around these parts ;-P

[jjkrkwood]

JJ i am not sure why one would go into a session with the idea that the act itself would be "work" in an onerous sense. I work in a service industry. There are times i have great fun experiences and other times it is a job. Why should these encounters be any different? However, if someone walks in and expresses the attitude you expressed here, that I am there to do a job, I do a job and probably make less effort to expand the encounter. Perhaps, your sessions seem like work, awkward and quickly forgotten work at that, because you make the escort feel as though he is working. Perhaps if you relaxed and considered the possibility of the session being more, it might be. I do get the feeling this is falling into the old dog, new trick or perhaps old trick new dog category so I shall not try to persuade you any differently in the future.

 

My sessions are always fulfilling and enjoyable for me. Even my session with Eddie (YES, GASP) You may have misinterpreted my post? I choose escorts based on my desires and needs and have never been disappointed. But I never went into a session thinking it was gonna be GREAT for the escort. On the contrary, he is being paid to be with me, thats why he is there. Yes there is a possibility he might enjoy it. (I give awesome head and rimjobs. Oh GOD now I sound like Mikey) . But I dont have any expectation to that end. I am paying for MY enjoyment, not his, and although that sounds self-indulgent, its truthful. He merely decides IF he wants to be the object of my enjoyment. There is no persuasion necessary in any direction. We each have our different takes on why we hire, what we expect and how it is orchestrated. Its not a contest about who is right or whos expectations are better or more realistic. I have always said "its your money, spend it how you want and make sure you enjoy". Its rather simple really.

[seeker630]

My reply wasnt about technique, it was more about familiarity and attraction... But I repect that you saw an opportunity to take a shot, and you went for it.... Thats pretty much how it is around these parts ;-P

 

And I wasn't referring merely to technique either. You don't seem open to the possibility of views other than your own (e.g., that some people prefer novelty, that 'attraction' can be about more than the physical).

 

I admit that you really set yourself up for that 'shot', and I took it. But it was not malicious, and was meant to evoke a chuckle (even from you). Sorry it failed.

[jjkrkwood]

And I wasn't referring merely to technique either. You don't seem open to the possibility of views other than your own (e.g., that some people prefer novelty, that 'attraction' can be about more than the physical).

 

I admit that you really set yourself up for that 'shot', and I took it. But it was not malicious, and was meant to evoke a chuckle (even from you). Sorry it failed.

 

Maybe I'm just immune to chuckles on this site, probably because the comments towards me are usually vicious and mean-spirited . As I have said many times, people dont even bother to read what I write, if they see my name posting, they ATTACK. Sorta a Pavlovian response. Par for the course, right ? And deal with it I must !

 

Just because I state my opinion doesnt mean I am not open to others, or respectful that theirs is different. I've only beat 1 person down on this site for his choices, and that was when I was provoked. For Gods sake, I mentor at the NYC LGBT center. Openess is a requirement for that position. But people will only see what they choose to see. And ill be damned if I am gonna fight for acceptance here or anywhere else. People dont like me or agree with me, thats fine and their perrogative but I dont see where it ever has to errupt into WWIII.... Surely there are way more important battles to fight.

[TruthBTold]

I approach escorts the same way that I approach the guys I meet for sex in other situations. I want to please them, I want to hear that they are being pleased, ultimately at the end I want to see that they have been pleased. It obviously doesn't happen every time I have sex with someone but it does happen. Maybe thats not a healthy way to approach sex-for-pay circumstances but that's the way it is for me.

[Michael Wayne]

jj brought up my name so I might as well talk. AGAIN, for the record, I DO LOVE SEX WITH MOST OF MY CLIENTS! What a great way to make a living. If I can't throw a ball like a Manning or hit a ball like Tiger then the next best enjoyable thing I could make money at is HAVING SEX. And here is the part most non-pros don't know: Alot of the clients are hot or used to be hot and still are not bad. They really try hard to impress you and they really appreciate you. Also, the fantasy aspect of performing and being the star kind of self-motivates the escort. Getting head and fucking feel GOOD no matter who you are with. Guys who successfully escort can get beyond wheter a guy is a 10 or a 5 or a 2 and we see the client as a human being with needs which we fulfill and get paid well for doing. By being nice to the client you almost guarantee a repeat or a regular. Occasionally the client is an ass, or is dirty or is pushy and in that case I just cancel because I do not NEED the money. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

[jjkrkwood]

jj brought up my name so I might as well talk. AGAIN, for the record, I DO LOVE SEX WITH MOST OF MY CLIENTS! What a great way to make a living. If I can't throw a ball like a Manning or hit a ball like Tiger then the next best enjoyable thing I could make money at is HAVING SEX. And here is the part most non-pros don't know: Alot of the clients are hot or used to be hot and still are not bad. They really try hard to impress you and they really appreciate you. Also, the fantasy aspect of performing and being the star kind of self-motivates the escort. Getting head and fucking feel GOOD no matter who you are with. Guys who successfully escort can get beyond wheter a guy is a 10 or a 5 or a 2 and we see the client as a human being with needs which we fulfill and get paid well for doing. By being nice to the client you almost guarantee a repeat or a regular. Occasionally the client is an ass, or is dirty or is pushy and in that case I just cancel because I do not NEED the money. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

 

Dont blame ME for this post Mikey ! ;-) (we know you love an opportunity to talk about yourself, so I just helped you out ) Glad you are doing what you LOVE. Alot of people will never know that luxury...

[Dave]

Do you ever start a session with a guy and think "this guy [the client] is really good at sex, I am really enjoying this."

even the people who are not “really good at sex” can be enjoyable for me. there are so many roads to go down when having sex with someone. what you wrote, TruthBTold - being the recipient of someone else’s skills - is only one route, IMO.

 

off the top of my head, hmm, lessee... other times i enjoy sex with someone, even if they don’t necessarily have particular skills?

 

- giving someone pleasure

- teaching someone about doing something a certain way

- dominating them

- exploring something new with them

 

“I approach escorts the same way that I approach the guys I meet for sex in other situations. I want to please them, I want to hear that they are being pleased, ultimately at the end I want to see that they have been pleased. It obviously doesn't happen every time I have sex with someone but it does happen. Maybe thats not a healthy way to approach sex-for-pay circumstances but that's the way it is for me.”

that’s cool. you are probably someone who is fun to be with. i think a great lover regularly seeks to please his partner. and in return, you probably end up having great sex more times than people who don’t look to please their partner. it’s like being nice to people (same idea).

 

Mikey - my comments are in blue...

me too. and you know what? that also keeps us fresh - real - and not burnt out, for the clients who realize that this is a relationship based on MUTUAL respect.[/color]

 

which brings me to my original point, which i suppose is really about mutuality. clients get with some escorts and think, wow, "this guy [the ESCORT] is really good at sex, I am really enjoying this."

why would it be so hard to imagine that the reverse could be true, too?

[Epigonos]

I have NEVER been a fan of one hour appointments. I always hire an escort for lunch or dinner and a couple of hours of play time. The extra time gives us an opportunity to become acquainted and learn something about each other. For me, at least, it enhances the sexual experience that follows. At this point, in my hiring, I seldom engage new guys. I have established a group of regulars. With these guys, over the years and after numerous sessions, we have come to know what really drives the other up the wall sexually. For example I have learned that the guy I see most frequently loves to have me gently run my fingertips over his back as we French kiss. He actually quivers and moans. Is he faking it – possibly – but I doubt it. He states openly that he loves sex with another man and never ceases to be amazed that he gets paid for having so much fun. He says, with what appears to be great conviction, that he can ALWAYS find something attractive about every client. Maybe the client has nice hair, nice hands, nice feet, etc. He insists that there is something attractive in all of us if you just, take the time, to look for it. Now guys, in my book, that is one hell of a great person who just happens to be, fortunately for those of us who know him, a great escort.

[maxwellissmart]

I have NEVER been a fan of one hour appointments.

 

While I actually prefer 1-2 hour appointments, I understand the dynamic you're looking to create. The best client I ever had was one with whom I'd spend an entire weekend day, and we'd do everything from fuck to play Wii. We thoroughly enjoyed each other's company—but I could only do it once a week because I was so drained and satisfied by the end of the day. I've never been good at faking anything—and I certainly wouldn't be able to do it for more than an hour or two.

[jjkrkwood]

I have NEVER been a fan of one hour appointments. I always hire an escort for lunch or dinner and a couple of hours of play time. The extra time gives us an opportunity to become acquainted and learn something about each other. For me, at least, it enhances the sexual experience that follows. At this point, in my hiring, I seldom engage new guys. I have established a group of regulars. With these guys, over the years and after numerous sessions, we have come to know what really drives the other up the wall sexually. For example I have learned that the guy I see most frequently loves to have me gently run my fingertips over his back as we French kiss. He actually quivers and moans. Is he faking it – possibly – but I doubt it. He states openly that he loves sex with another man and never ceases to be amazed that he gets paid for having so much fun. He says, with what appears to be great conviction, that he can ALWAYS find something attractive about every client. Maybe the client has nice hair, nice hands, nice feet, etc. He insists that there is something attractive in all of us if you just, take the time, to look for it. Now guys, in my book, that is one hell of a great person who just happens to be, fortunately for those of us who know him, a great escort.

 

With all due respect Epig, I am sure he does : their Wallet...;-)

[leigh.bess.toad]

With all due respect Epig, I am sure he does : their Wallet...;-)

 

My god are you so cynical. Not everything in this world revolves around money. It isn't the only thing that defines us, who we are. It isn't only the young, humpy guys who are great in bed. The truly great ones can, and do, find something that they find appealing in virtually everyone. And it isn't the wallet.

[jjkrkwood]

My god are you so cynical. Not everything in this world revolves around money. It isn't the only thing that defines us, who we are. It isn't only the young, humpy guys who are great in bed. The truly great ones can, and do, find something that they find appealing in virtually everyone. And it isn't the wallet.

 

OK Lee, we know your backstory and your feeling on the matter. However your situation is not the norm. Cynical, not so much. Realistic, YES. Most of these escorts would never consider sex with a majority of their clients if it werent for the money. If you have found some that would have sex with you without payment, thats totally awesome. But escorting is a Business, First. And I would NOT disagree that they need to dig down deep and find something attractive in every client. Its probably the only way to get their brain to allow them to perform. My opinion only, I am not looking to convert anyone, but what I have noticed on this site is that you guys that are fanatical about hiring put a different spin on it, if only to convince yourselves the act holds some meaning other than the intended: no strings attached quick sexual satisfaction without effort. This isnt an argument, its just 2 people who have different opinions on a topic. Whats the problem with that? It seems you guys are the ones that want to convert me. Lighten Up buddy...

[seeker630]

OK Lee, we know your backstory and your feeling on the matter. However your situation is not the norm. Cynical, not so much. Realistic, YES. Most of these escorts would never consider sex with a majority of their clients if it werent for the money. If you have found some that would have sex with you without payment, thats totally awesome. But escorting is a Business, First. And I would NOT disagree that they need to dig down deep and find something attractive in every client. Its probably the only way to get their brain to allow them to perform. My opinion only, I am not looking to convert anyone, but what I have noticed on this site is that you guys that are fanatical about hiring put a different spin on it, if only to convince yourselves the act holds some meaning other than the intended: no strings attached quick sexual satisfaction without effort. This isnt an argument, its just 2 people who have different opinions on a topic. Whats the problem with that? It seems you guys are the ones that want to convert me. Lighten Up buddy...

 

What gives you the authority to define someone else's intent? What you seem unwilling to accept is that not everyone has the same narrow intent as you. (And I'm not implying any judgment here - just that not everyone hirse for the same reasons. But your language above & elsewhere shows that you think other reasons are invalid or delusional.)

[leigh.bess.toad]

OK Lee, we know your backstory and your feeling on the matter. However your situation is not the norm. Cynical, not so much. Realistic, YES. Most of these escorts would never consider sex with a majority of their clients if it werent for the money. If you have found some that would have sex with you without payment, thats totally awesome. But escorting is a Business, First. And I would NOT disagree that they need to dig down deep and find something attractive in every client. Its probably the only way to get their brain to allow them to perform. My opinion only, I am not looking to convert anyone, but what I have noticed on this site is that you guys that are fanatical about hiring put a different spin on it, if only to convince yourselves the act holds some meaning other than the intended: no strings attached quick sexual satisfaction without effort. This isnt an argument, its just 2 people who have different opinions on a topic. Whats the problem with that? It seems you guys are the ones that want to convert me. Lighten Up buddy...

 

And most doctors would never see you if not for the paycheck. Or lawyers. Or accountants. Or any other profession. And I dare say an escort can at least get something more out of their encounter with most of their clients than some of these professionals.

 

Convert you? Not likely. You are too stubborn and not open to other possibilities and viewpoints. But it feels like you are calling all of the escorts who say they do enjoy a lot of their clients liars. It seems you are saying an escort can't take pride in seeing what they can do for a client who is open to learning about himself, seeing their client grow and change. It does feel like you are saying that the escorts and clients cannot become friends outside of our business relationships. It seems like you are saying we clients can't teach our escorts a few things, that we bring nothing to the relationship except for money. You seem to think that those clients like myself who do get more out of the relationships we have with our escorts are fools and idiots in thinking that our escorts really do care about us as people, rather than simply as a payday. And that I reject. Wholeheartedly.

 

Am I the norm? I don't think there is a norm. But I know every part of my "backstory" has been duplicated by others here on the forum so I know I'm not outside of the norm, whatever that is. Yes, I've become friends with quite a few of my escorts. And I know many of these friendships will continue long after my hiring days are over.

[maxwellissmart]

The truly great ones can, and do, find something that they find appealing in virtually everyone. And it isn't the wallet.

 

Exactly. Believe me, there are clients who have paid me very well whom I simply can't stand to see anymore because I don't like being with them.

[Epigonos]

JJ I don’t entirely disagree with your point. ALL relationships begin superficially some remain that way and some develop into a real relationship/friendship. Now do I think the escort about whom I was speaking would spend the amount of time, he does, with me including the sex for free – ABSOLUTELY NOT. After all our sexual relationship is a business relationship NOT a friendship or love relationship. However we have spent time together “off the clock” having dinner, having a drink, seeing a movie WITHOUT money or sex involved. Do I believe this happens frequently or on a casual basis NO!!!!! It has happened to me with only TWO escorts. I consider both of these guys friends with whom I also happen to have a paid escort/client sexual relationship. Now if you think I am delusional that OK too after all it’s a free country.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Exactly. Believe me, there are clients who have paid me very well whom I simply can't stand to see anymore because I don't like being with them.

 

I've been meaning to welcome you to the forum. I always am glad to see escorts join our motley crew. I have enjoyed your posts very much so far so I hope you will keep giving us your insights.

 

But a suggestion: if you have an ad on Rentboy, Men4RentNow or other site, maybe you could include a link to the ad for those of us here. Talent in DC is usually hard to find (but I have found my great one there) and it would be helpful to those who might be interested. You display a quality in an escort that is certainly attractive to any number of guys here.

[jjkrkwood]

What gives you the authority to define someone else's intent? What you seem unwilling to accept is that not everyone has the same narrow intent as you. (And I'm not implying any judgment here - just that not everyone hirse for the same reasons. But your language above & elsewhere shows that you think other reasons are invalid or delusional.)

 

Listen up Seeker, Lee and all you other guys. what the fuck is the difference WHAT my opinion or view IS ? I am not asking you to agree with it, accept it, nuture it, etc. It is merely MY opinion, Period? I am not speaking for any of you, only for myself. This is what I beleive, just as you beleive what you believe. Why are you all entitled to have your opinion and voice it without repercussion, but I am not. What the fuck is wrong with you ? What you seem to always imply is that there is your way or the highway, and what I say has no value or place here. This is NOT an elitest site. A handfull of people DO NOT control it, eventhough they would like to. Get over yourselves already. You say what you want, I am OK with it, but I DONT have to agree. And to Seeker, I am not claiming any authority or defining anyone, merely stating how I see things. I am allowed to do that, am I not ? Get over yourselves, your behavior and attitude is narow and bordering on ridiculous. You may think its cool or funny for all of you to gang up on the loud, outspoken guy, but its NOT cool. Its childish. You are so busy defending your stance that you dont even see that you are being the offenders by denying me a voice. I GET IT. You love and need your escorts. Thats fine for you. You are happy with your choices. GREAT

This conversation IS NOT a one way street. You constantly profess to be "open and accepting" of others. REALLY ???????

[jjkrkwood]

JJ I don’t entirely disagree with your point. ALL relationships begin superficially some remain that way and some develop into a real relationship/friendship. Now do I think the escort about whom I was speaking would spend the amount of time, he does, with me including the sex for free – ABSOLUTELY NOT. After all our sexual relationship is a business relationship NOT a friendship or love relationship. However we have spent time together “off the clock” having dinner, having a drink, seeing a movie WITHOUT money or sex involved. Do I believe this happens frequently or on a casual basis NO!!!!! It has happened to me with only TWO escorts. I consider both of these guys friends with whom I also happen to have a paid escort/client sexual relationship. Now if you think I am delusional that OK too after all it’s a free country.

 

EPIG, I dont recall saying it could NEVER happen. How ridiculous would that be.? Anyone who got that from my post is putting words in my mouth. I said it was unlikely or Rare, and I do believe that. Some people believe in GOD. Some dont. So what ??? Thats the point, it doesnt matter what you believe as long as you are committed to something. That should be clear to even the close minded members here....

[maxwellissmart]

I've been meaning to welcome you to the forum. I always am glad to see escorts join our motley crew. I have enjoyed your posts very much so far so I hope you will keep giving us your insights.

 

But a suggestion: if you have an ad on Rentboy, Men4RentNow or other site, maybe you could include a link to the ad for those of us here. Talent in DC is usually hard to find (but I have found my great one there) and it would be helpful to those who might be interested. You display a quality in an escort that is certainly attractive to any number of guys here.

 

Why thank you! I'm not fully active at the moment—just seeing some old regulars while I'm helping a friend in need who has the Big C. Also at a crossroads with some issues in my life. I'll certainly let everyone know when I'm back in the saddle.

 

Max

[Decatur Guy]

I actually agree with both sides of this:

 

JJ has a very salient point. If I ran out of $$$, I'd run out of sex with these guys. I don't there's a single escort I've seen who would want to have sex with me for free because he likes the sex or likes me that much.

 

ON THE OTHER HAND ...

 

I've been with a couple of escorts clearly not liking it. They couldn't even halfway hide their boredom or distaste or complete lack of interest. And I had one who turned me away after I showed up -- no sex at all. So I know what that's like.

 

As for the rest, either they really did enjoy the sex or did a damn good job of pretending. I'm not sure I'll ever truly know that answer. As long as they do a good job of pretending, that's gonna have to be good enough for me. I won't delve any deeper, because really you can't. But if it's clear to me the escort is totally not into it, that's the last time he'll see my business. I've had enough experiences that I think the repeat escorts are getting some level of enjoyment.

 

I guess on the continuum of this argument, I'm a little off-center tilting toward JJ's POV though, because the bottom line is I ain't gettin' no offers of fucks on the house.

 

And JJ, I think you secretly (or actually not so secretly) revel in your role as the "piled-on guy." If you made as small of a splash on here as most of my posts make, I think you'd be mightily disappointed! LOL.

[jjkrkwood]

I actually agree with both sides of this:

 

JJ has a very salient point. If I ran out of $$$, I'd run out of sex with these guys. I don't there's a single escort I've seen who would want to have sex with me for free because he likes the sex or likes me that much.

 

ON THE OTHER HAND ...

 

I've been with a couple of escorts clearly not liking it. They couldn't even halfway hide their boredom or distaste or complete lack of interest. And I had one who turned me away after I showed up -- no sex at all. So I know what that's like.

 

As for the rest, either they really did enjoy the sex or did a damn good job of pretending. I'm not sure I'll ever truly know that answer. As long as they do a good job of pretending, that's gonna have to be good enough for me. I won't delve any deeper, because really you can't. But if it's clear to me the escort is totally not into it, that's the last time he'll see my business. I've had enough experiences that I think the repeat escorts are getting some level of enjoyment.

 

I guess on the continuum of this argument, I'm a little off-center tilting toward JJ's POV though, because the bottom line is I ain't gettin' no offers of fucks on the house.

 

And JJ, I think you secretly (or actually not so secretly) revel in your role as the "piled-on guy." If you made as small of a splash on here as most of my posts make, I think you'd be mightily disappointed! LOL.

 

First, a friendly warning DG. Be very careful of even hinting that you agree with me on anything. You will be Blacklisted here as a conspirator to the enemy. As I was recently told in a post, my views are the unpopular ones so I should EXPECT what I get. Really? I didnt know the code of contact mandated I go with the populace vote to be safe here. That is Fucked Up.

 

Second, you are wrong about my Glee in the reaction and treatment I get here. For the most part, its exhausting, its distracting, and its uncomfortable. But I aint about to just lie down and be rolled over by at most 5 people that seem to want to continue confronting me at every turn. If they have the energy for this, ill guess ill muster up some energy myself to accommodate them.