Any goofy reasons you chose not to hire someone?

[down_to_business]

So I was thinking about reasons I decide against hiring any given escort. Some are pretty good reasons like physical attraction and compatibility, geography, rates, interests, bad reviews, etc., but some seem pretty darn silly.

 

Do any of you have 'strange' reasons that you wouldn't hire someone?

 

Some of my top goofy reasons:

 

1) They chose a horrible stage name or nickname-- I just can't make myself hire someone who calls them self: The toothfairy or YabbaDabbaDoo for example

 

2) They don't list a rate in their ad or they put varies or ask for everything, even their hourly rate

 

3) No photo or only 1 posted photo AND escorts who say they are total tops who post nothing but ass pics or total bottoms that post nothing but cock pics

 

4) They ask me for my photo

 

5) They hardly give any information in the ad but refuse to accept emails

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

If the ad or emails are poorly written, I doubt that I will be able to have a conversation after saying, "hello."

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

Agreed... grammar and spelling.

[raife]

I think only your #1 and maybe #3 would even come near goofiness. I agree with #1 though - goofy porn-ish names don't exactly make me want to take them seriously. "Cam Cumster"? Luckily in these days of Corbin Fisher, this shit is on the decline.

 

I used to be suspicious of the unlisted rates guys but I find that often if I throw out a figure first - $150! my favorite pricing sweet spot - they'll accept - so I count this as a net positive. It's the "separate price for each menu item" unbundlers that I can't abide.

 

Asking for the client's photo is just another way of shopping for a sexy sugar daddy, quite unprofessional but since I lean towards non-pros I see this often. Sometimes I'll offer a pic but not if they're making it mandatory.

 

A few of mine:

 

 

1. Any ads with "no, none, never, won't, don't, cant, couldn't shouldn't" or any other negatively asserted "rules" go to the bottom of the queue. This includes "no text or e-mail" and "no blocked calls"! Just let 'em roll to voicemail and ignore them if they're so onerous, maybe the guy's real number will be stated in the message.
   
2. Misspellings and pretzel grammar: deduct 5 points. I know we're not often dealing with Einstein material here, but geez, every input text field in Firefox has the little red squigglies so there's no excuse other than laziness (or ESL), and why are they lazy when trying to present themselves in the best light?
   
3. Guys who keep changing their name every few weeks. The past keeps catching up with them, I guess.
   

Just give me some cocky self-assurance, "mild to wild", and if it's a "massage" ad, make sure and include the more or extra services part and I'll be checking them out. Also Versatile is the magic word.

[jgoo]

Not sure if these are goofy or not, but some of the things that immediately put me off from hiring a guy are:

 

1. The ad says something like only doing this for a short time to make some fast cash to pay off some debts, pay my rent, fix my car, etc.

2. Any mention by them in their ad or emails that they are str8 or have a girlfriend.

3. As others have mentioned, atrocious spelling and/or grammar. Some leeway is given for those that are clearly non-native English speakers but its not that difficult to have someone proofread an ad.

4. They don't offer discounts for multiple hour meetings and charge their hourly rate times the number of hours they meet you.

[jawjateck]

Goofy reasons? Nope.....just the standard stuff.....unprofessional ads, contradictory statements, confusing emails, refusing to answer relevant questions, old photos, blurry photos, ripped-off photos, straight boys looking for quick cash, etc. just standard common sense stuff which protects me from the fakes and scammers, which is why to this day, after 11 years as a Hoo-hobbyist, I have never had a truly bad experience, a few marginal ones yes, but never a bad one. Let the good times keep on rolling......

[wayout]

I think I do have a quirky or goofy reason for not hiring....I only hire guys with at least one face pics where the guy is smiling. Limits me quite a bit I admit but nothing does anything more for me than beautiful eyes and a wonderful smile. Way too many ads with no face pic or if there is one with a very stern or dour look on their face. Granted some may like that, but not me.

[seeker630]

Non-goofy reasons for not hiring

 

Guys 'looking for help' (financially desperate)

Terse, un-inviting email responses (I need some semblance of interest on their part, some indication of friendliness)

No nude body/torso pictures (genitalia alone isn't enough)

[instudiocity]

two word email responses to my 2 paragraph inquiry about them, their service, and a description of me

[hornytwells]

I agree with seeker and instudio city, although I wouldn't class those as "goofy" reasons, but rather valid ones> I know escorts must get sick of email correspondence and texts from guys who may not then proceed to hire-but if I send an escort a nice, complimentary email with some reasonable questions about hiring them, then I expect a friendly, interested response. if they cannot invest a few moments in trying to make a client feel welcome then I tend to pass on the desire to enquire further> They are in a competitive business, and they also should take into account the potential nervousness of first-time hirers. If I receive a terse response that makes no reference to my comments, but instead says, "call if you are interested" it makes me uncomfortable about calling.

[hornytwells]

oh, and another thing..... (lol) I found it incredible when someone posted that clients who send escorts their pics are automatically looking for a discount?!! I have sent guys my pics, and that thought never entered my head> I did it simply as a courtesy, as I think that escorts are human beings with likes and dislikes too, and so I wanted them to be aware of my look and comfortable with it-not looking for a discount in any way!? Am I alone in thinking that comment was strange?

[gcursor]

Yeah..I have a goofy reason..if I write to somebody and they respond back to me using any vowels whatsoever in the email...then I have a hard time pursuing it further

 

(I hope all of you know I'm just kidding here...)

[Kevin Slater]

Yeah..I have a goofy reason..if I write to somebody and they respond back to me using any vowels whatsoever in the email...then I have a hard time pursuing it further

 

tht ws rll(y) fnn(y).

 

Kvn Sltr

[BaronArtz]

Surely. Recent examples:

 

1) Hot ad, good response, but then discovering a porn video involving the escort engaged in an act that totally turns me off (Junior Stellano, Aron Ridge).

 

2) Interesting ad, friendly chat with the guy who then asks whether 'I want to shave his pussy'. This guy also refered to his ass as his 'man cunt'. That killed the deal right there. (Gabriel StClair)

[instudiocity]

I never send my pictures, ever. I'm afraid the escort might double his rates! LOL!

 

Seriously, I don't send pics because I'm the private client engaging a person who holding himself out seeking business. Can you imagine sending a physician your picture before making an appointment for a physical?

 

oh, and another thing..... (lol) I found it incredible when someone posted that clients who send escorts their pics are automatically looking for a discount?!! I have sent guys my pics, and that thought never entered my head> I did it simply as a courtesy, as I think that escorts are human beings with likes and dislikes too, and so I wanted them to be aware of my look and comfortable with it-not looking for a discount in any way!? Am I alone in thinking that comment was strange?

[instudiocity]

2) Interesting ad, friendly chat with the guy who then asks whether 'I want to shave his pussy'. This guy also refered to his ass as his 'man cunt'. That killed the deal right there. (Gabriel StClair)

Ewuh! ICK! I hate it when boys describe their parts using female anatomical names. If I wanted 'pussy', I'd get a woman! Maybe I should start with a cat...

[instudiocity]

t rlly rlly ws!

tht ws rll(y) fnn(y).

 

Kvn Sltr

[Guest Magnus]

When scrolling through the list of adds on a site like Rent Boy for example, I ignore all the ones with dick pix. I agree with seeker: A picture of a dick in a hand is not going to get me to open the add.

No nude body/torso pictures (genitalia alone isn't enough)

[nynakedtop]

I totally agree with every point everyone has thus far raised... I would add that a total no-go for me is that when I ask for a rate the reply is "how much are you willing to pay?" or "how generous are you willing to be?".

 

Just does not work for me.

 

Also... guys should recognize that an email to a prospective new client is a real selling opportunity. Clearly I inquire because I want something (a nice way of saying "I am horny"). So take advantage of this opportunity and sell yourself to me.... just a bit! a "what's up" ain't gonna make it happen!

 

:-)

[down_to_business]

I just came across the perfect example of an escort ad that meets most of my 'bad' criteria

 

"3/11 to 3/13 only:overnight 1200 reduced from 1500

thuggin*8pack*19yo 6'2" 185 DO NOT CALL ME IF U DONT HAVE 350/HR. NO I WILL NOT TAKE 200 DO NOT CALL ME BLOCKED UNLESS YOU WANT TO TALK TO VOICEMAIL! Safe total top. will travel for a travel fee and a hotel. if you want me to fly, ill need tickets for 2. text me for faster response or leave a message if you call and ill call you back. please ask for Chad and mention this ad (btw, im an MMA fighter)"

 

http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/index.asp?cmd=view&id=213134&Login=dollarbil

 

 

Don't get me wrong, he is a real looker and probably quite the stud. Physically he is exactly what I am attracted to. He also provides a great set of photos that lets me see exactly what I am looking for and he let's me know exactly what his rate is. But I would never hire this guy.

 

1. Dollarbil is his ad name - this fails my goofy rule #1, could you make it any more obvious that it is all about the money??

2. He uses the word 'thuggin' in his ad

3. If I want to fly him somewhere, I have to buy 2 airline tickets (not to mention pay a travel fee and book him his own hotel). Is that because his large ego needs a seat of it's own and its own room to stay in??

[nynakedtop]

I just came across the perfect example of an escort ad that meets most of my 'bad' criteria

 

"3/11 to 3/13 only:overnight 1200 reduced from 1500

thuggin*8pack*19yo 6'2" 185 DO NOT CALL ME IF U DONT HAVE 350/HR. NO I WILL NOT TAKE 200 DO NOT CALL ME BLOCKED UNLESS YOU WANT TO TALK TO VOICEMAIL! Safe total top. will travel for a travel fee and a hotel. if you want me to fly, ill need tickets for 2. text me for faster response or leave a message if you call and ill call you back. please ask for Chad and mention this ad (btw, im an MMA fighter)"

 

http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/index.asp?cmd=view&id=213134&Login=dollarbil

 

 

MAJOR FAIL HERE... on all counts!

[seeker630]

I just came across the perfect example of an escort ad that meets most of my 'bad' criteria

 

"3/11 to 3/13 only:overnight 1200 reduced from 1500

thuggin*8pack*19yo 6'2" 185 DO NOT CALL ME IF U DONT HAVE 350/HR. NO I WILL NOT TAKE 200 DO NOT CALL ME BLOCKED UNLESS YOU WANT TO TALK TO VOICEMAIL! Safe total top. will travel for a travel fee and a hotel. if you want me to fly, ill need tickets for 2. text me for faster response or leave a message if you call and ill call you back. please ask for Chad and mention this ad (btw, im an MMA fighter)"

 

http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/index.asp?cmd=view&id=213134&Login=dollarbil

 

 

Don't get me wrong, he is a real looker and probably quite the stud. Physically he is exactly what I am attracted to. He also provides a great set of photos that lets me see exactly what I am looking for and he let's me know exactly what his rate is. But I would never hire this guy.

 

1. Dollarbil is his ad name - this fails my goofy rule #1, could you make it any more obvious that it is all about the money??

2. He uses the word 'thuggin' in his ad

3. If I want to fly him somewhere, I have to buy 2 airline tickets (not to mention pay a travel fee and book him his own hotel). Is that because his large ego needs a seat of it's own and its own room to stay in??

 

The text reviews attached to his ad make for interesting reading. Apparently he has formerly gone by the name 'Supreem' and sports more tatoos than the pix in his current ad show. (Some of the pix in the current ad appear to be older - notice how the star on his torso is missing from many of them.) One client reports that he travels with a companion named 'Puppy' who joined in the session.

[whipped guy]

The non-smiler...

 

Well, since the OP mentioned "goofy reasons", I almost didn't hire a guy because he didn't smile in any of his face pics... but then again at that point in time I was looking for someone with an aggressive personality and I somehow thought that ultimately he might possess the type of demeanor that I was seeking... not to mention that he had the body of a god... As a result, I gave him a shot. As it turned out he had a great smile and I almost melted when he opened the door... So I got the best of both worlds...

 

He has since added a smiley face or two to his pics... and they are by far the best in his portfolio...

[seeker630]

Well, since the OP mentioned "goofy reasons", I almost didn't hire a guy because he didn't smile in any of his face pics... but then again at that point in time I was looking for someone with an aggressive personality and I somehow thought that ultimately he might possess the type of demeanor that I was seeking... not to mention that he had the body of a god... As a result, I gave him a shot. As it turned out he had a great smile and I almost melted when he opened the door... So I got the best of both worlds...

 

He has since added a smiley face or two to his pics... and they are by far the best in his portfolio...

 

I had the same experience - and I'm pretty sure we're talking about the same guy! I wasn't looking for an aggressive personality.

[+ glutes]

If they are pictured wearing a cheap harness or flipping the bird, I stay clear...

 

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ_WlShpWwz3C4EpmPDMzoyMFn3barQzPCP7FYO-rIKg5ojMLJGIg