A friend "passes on...

[BuckyXTC]

Today was one of the roughest days I've had in a long time. I took my 13 year old cat to the vet, only to learn that he had a large, inoperable tumor. At first, he was given a 50/50 chance with surgery, but as the blood work results unfolded, the odds for recovery dropped dramatically. Even though he was still lively and active, the vet informed me that he would most likely begin to have difficulty breathing in a matter of hours. With great sadness, I signed the euthanasia authorization form, took my little friend home for a few hours, then returned to the animal clinic where he could receive a final act of kindness.

 

This is a scenario I've repeated over the years but it never gets any easier. I think of the 13 years this furry friend has been in my life, and I realize he was there for me through the death of both my parents, some very difficult personal situations, and through the happy times as well. If given the choice of his favorite food, or being petted, he'd leave the food for later. I'm happy he won't suffer, but he leaves a big void in my life with his absence. Since very few of us gay guys ever have children, our pets pretty much fill that role.

 

I'm sad that he's gone, but happy that I had 13 wonderful years of his loyal companionship. He asked for so little, but gave so much.

[Guest jwraustin]

I am so sorry to hear about your cat. I had a Black Lab for 15 years, that passed away 3 years ago. He was the best friend I ever had. He is buried here at my home in Austin, beside my pond. I still miss him.

 

Our friends can come a go, but our little creatures will stick with us thru thick and think. Sorry to hear of your loss. Give yourself some time, and welcome a new friend into your life when the time is ready.

 

Jon Dean

http://www.manfuck.net

[+ Lucky]

Bucky. I know how much it hurts to lose a pet. Best wishes to you.

[Guest ncm2169]

Buck, bro...death makes PC issues so trite. My VERY sincere sympathies. :-) :'( :-)

[Boston Guy]

Bucky -

 

My condolences on the loss of your companion.

 

I read recently that we humans have altered the cat species in the last hundred years. Cats normally lived to be about five or six years old and a very old cat was eight. Today, many cats are living to be more than twelve and some even older.

 

It sounds like you gave him a great home and a long, happy life. That's something to be proud of.

 

Take care,

BG

[Guest pshaw]

RE: A friend

 

My sympathies as well.

 

I've owned two cats on my life. One was the runt of the litter and had this odd twitching motion that lasted throughout his life. One vet who saw him asked me, rather snidely, "Where did you find THIS specimen?" He didn't think the cat would live more than 4 or 5 years. Needless to say, that was the last time I saw that vet. This cat lived until almost 15 years of age. My other cat I got soon after I graduated from college. He was a tough little bugger (NOT buggerer) and lived until the age of 19 and a half. He enjoyed quite good health until the last month of his life, when basically his body started shutting down.

 

Cats tend to live longer if you don't let them go outside. Outdoors they can pick up parasites, get into fights with other cats and get those horrible abcesses (cats' claws can insert bacteria into the loose skin and produce nasty infections), lose fights to dogs and raccoons, or get hit by motor vehicles. Altered male cats (both of mine were) can also have urinary tract problems with high-ash-content foods, as most supermarket cat foods are. For the last half of my cats' lives they ate exclusively prescription low ash cat food from the vet. I'm quite sure it helped them live long lives.

[Guest Ant415]

So sorry to hear of your pet. Is true, they become kids for us gay men. 13 years is a good full life... You can never replace him, but in due time you may consider making a home for new kitty. There is nothing like the fun of a new kitten to help you over the grieving.

 

God bless.

[taylorky]

oh i am so sorry,nothing i or anyone else can say will ease the hurt,and loss you are feeling.we have had to do it 3 times once for our 14 y/o dog,13 y/o fat cat he was a hell of a guy.and my first horse.i was with each one and cried like a baby...hee hee writing this and remembering them i still do......damn......anyway when we had to let fatcat go mom got me this card..hope y'all don't think it,s to corny.but anyway here goes.........." They will not go quietly,the cats who've shared our lives.In subtle ways they let us know, their spirit still survives.Old habits still make us think we hear a meow at the door. Or step back when we drop a tasty morsel on the floor. Our feet still go around the place the food dish used to be, And sometimes coming home at night we miss them terribly. And although time may bring new friends and a new food dish to fill,That one place in our hearts belongs to them....and always will".............all we have to give them is a little love to make their life full,i'm sure your bud was loved and loved you back.......take care

[+ deej]

Big hug to you, Buckers.

 

I have two of the furballs of my own at home and I know how much I miss them just being on the road for a few weeks at a time. I can't imagine taking them away permanently, much less having to make the decision.

 

They really do become your lifemates, and they really do leave a void when they're missing. I have trouble sleeping in hotel rooms because I'm waiting for the familiar "cush" of my Big-Ass Black Cat (that's an official breed, y'all) jumping on my bed to curl up at my feet.

 

My heart goes out to you and to the kitty, but I know that was one well loved kitty.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Sorry for your loss Bucky -- I think I know what you are feeling. My heart goes out to you.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

A friend indeed

 

Except for when I travel, every time I have written on here, whether it be in humor, informative response, defensive posture or simply self-promotion, Jane is never more than a few inches away. While I prefer the company of another human for breaking bread, good conversation and, of course, sexual expression, I always come home to Jane to sleep, nap, and otherwise share wonderful companionable times. I lost her sister through an unfortunate set of circumstances right before I left San Francisco. They were a liter of two, which is unusual, and having experienced this loss, I cannot even begin to imagine what I would feel when Jane needs to leave me (or I need to leave her).

 

I like to think of Jane as a being who lives with me, my home is our home. When I had roommates, I always made it clear we were a package deal.

 

I wish I could convey something with words to help you with the loss of a treasured part of your life. Unfortunately, there comes a time when language is far too inadequate to truly be of use. I hope that your close human friends are around to hug you and help you at this time.

[chrismac]

Bucky - thanks for sharing your story. It makes us all human, the things we do for animals. Many of us have raised animals as children or adults, or both - and the unfortunate truth is that due to our lifespans and theirs, we inevitably outlive them many times.

 

Although at moments like this it may seem we are doomed to sadness and heartbreak at the passing of each unique pet, we nonetheless usually find another which doesn't quite replace the previous occupant of your heart, yet somehow fills the aching hole left there in a way all its own.

 

Take heart Bucky - you are right: you got 13 good years.

 

Don't let the void go empty forever. But give it some time.

 

My deepest sympathies.

[Guest Charon]

I'm sitting here with a kitten asleep on my lap, gotten some months after my last cat died of old age.

 

She I had inherited from my grandfather when he died, and for the better than 10 years that she was with me was a living link to what I had lost. I was heartbroken when she died, but glad we'd gotten to share our lives for a while.

 

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Guest Kalifornia]

I really dislike cats but sorry to hear about your loss. Maybe you can try a dog next time.

 

Mark -Kalifornia

[Houston Bonfires]

Hi Bucky:

 

I send my comfort and my appreciation of your caring spirit and my three best friends; Beatrice, Frisco and Woody send licks and love and snuggles.

Be of good cheer and know how much richer life is when shared with those who do not question or demand save for time and love.

 

H B

[Bilbo]

My sincere condolences. Recently Dennis the Menace said to a lady that her deceased husband wasn't "lost" but was up in Heaven where he belonged. It's true about all living things, I think. Don't let anyone tell you that your cat didn't have a soul. You know better than that. Since I believe in an all powerful God (and this is just my belief, so let's not hijack this thread), I think that reincarnation is quite possible. But I also think that your cat will wait in Heaven to welcome you there before it reincarnates, should it be scheduled to do so. You will see each other again.

 

And yes, I know that I am a pontificating bore in these situations. Happens when I really want to comfort someone with my thoughts when there really, as someone else already said, isn't much I can say that would change anything, except that you have my warm thoughts and well wishes walking with you today.

[Will]

I've been there, too. There's nothing like it. People who don't love animals and live with them for a long time think that we're overreacting to their deaths, particularly when we have engineered them. But there's a special kind of grief, and it's so hard for me that I intentionally "overlap" dogs. I always have at least two (at present there are three), and old one and a younger one. That way, the older one has company; and when the old guy or gal has to go to Dog Heaven, there's somebody else there to help me mourn.

 

A couple of weeks ago, a dog I bred but do not own discovered one of his owner's kittens, dead. She happened to be there and told me that he sniffed it, nudged it, touched it with his paw. Then, when the kitten didn't respond, Vinny lay down, curled up around it, and howled for several minutes. Afterwards, he went into his bed and didn't come out for the rest of the day.

 

We live with wonderful creatures, and they bring us more joy, I'm sure, than we bring them.

 

Please go and get a new cat today!

[Rick Munroe]

RE: A friend

 

>He asked for so little,

>but gave so much.

 

That's what makes it especially hard to lose them. They remain innocent their whole lives, and love unconditionally, even if they're abused. Losing my beloved black Lab was the worst experience of my life. You've got the right attitude...remember the good stuff. :-)

[+ imagooddog]

RE: A friend

 

Bucky:

Like the others here, I too share your sorrow in the passing of a dear friend. I have been through it several times and it never is a easy thing to go through but as you said, you have to remember all the good times you shared.

Have you seen a story called "The Rainbow Bridge"? If not, let me know and I will send you a copy or enter the story here. It deals with the loss of a pet and our reunion with them later.

[Guest Kenny021]

RE: A friend

 

Everyone has expressed it so well. I have a cat that I obtained from the Animal Rescue League in Dec of l983. At the time, she was 1 year old so that now makes her 20 years old. For the past year, she has been suffering from kidney failure and consequently she vomits every other day or so. However, she continues to eat(KD special food for cats with kidney problems),has normal bodily functions and does not appear to be in pain. She sleeps most of the time but does very little in terms of physical activity. Recently had visit to vet who states that she has not lost weight and her blood tests still showed kidney failure BUT not significantly different than a year ago. I know that her time is very limited and have come to the conclusion that once she shows signs of being uncomfortable, I will have to make the big decision. I just hate even thinking about it but also realize that 20 years is an eternity for a cat. I will be crushed and probably be unable to function when it happens.

All here have expressed what animals mean to us and how much they are part of our lives. I am just devastated to think what I will have to undergo some time soon. I sometimes wish I would just wake up in the morning and find that she has passed in her sleep. It would make things so much easier. However, she has brought joy and companionship to me for 20 years and I will NEVER be able to replace her.

You obviously know that most of us fullly understand your present state and offer you the best. Hopefully, it will be eased when you get another kitty to keep you company.

[Guest Bitchboy]

RE: A friend

 

I had a cat once. I loved her so very much. When I was at my worst, high on drugs and living the bad life, she was always there, always forgiving, always willing to comfort. I'm sure there were times when I was so whacked out I unintentionally ignored or abused her. It made no difference. She was always there. I loved that freakin' cat! I know how you feel.

 

God bless you.

[bluenix]

Super Kitty!

 

Here's a silly smile for you, BuckyXTC.

 

http://www.ezshots.com/members/blueman/images/blueman-33.gif

[Guest bighugbearphx]

My condolences on the loss of your feline companion.

 

I went through the same thing a couple of years ago, having to make the difficult decision to put down my 18 y/o Siamese mix, who was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease five years before, but - through sheer luck and no small amount of stubbornness on her part - thrived until the last week of her life.

 

Give yourself some time to mourn and heal, and then visit your local shelter to see if it is time to give another cat a home. I am convinced that my deceased pet somehow made the choice for me, as Smokey approached me as soon as I walked in the shelter and refused to let me look at any other cat (The shelter volunteers were stunned by this, as Smokey had been there only three days but had seemed shy about approaching anyone, though he jumped into my arms without invitation within a minute of my entrance.) In the first few weeks I had him, Smokey also spent lots of time staring at the space in front of a tree in my backyard (No birds or other creatures to attract his attention, though his tail and ears twitched as though he was getting some kind of stimulation), which is where I had scattered my other cat's ashes two months before. Go figure.

 

If you have cable TV, I suggest you check out the "Pet Psychic" on Animal Planet, a rather spooky English lady who communicates with pets of all kinds, including connections with spirits of recently-deceased pets. Her opinion (which Animal Planet disclaims agreement with) is that the spirit of deceased pets stay with you forever, watching over you and communicating with other pets that remain. You may get some comfort from this.

[Guest JT]

RE: A friend

 

Bucky, I'm sorry to hear you lose a close friend. My thoughts are with you. I hope that you'll soon find peace in your heart and that big void in your life will one day be filled with another equally wonderful and loyal friend.

 

JT

[BuckyXTC]

My heartfelt thanks to all of you who've shared kind words of support during a difficult time. Last night was particularly tough, as my feline friend always waited on the bed for me to turn in, and he wasn't there. My two other cats have spent considerable time trying to figure out where he is, when they weren't staying close by me, sensing my mood and trying to be helpful.

 

Your support has made things easier, as I sort out my feelings and seek to heal. If you're ever in a tough time, I hope I can be there for you, as you've been there for me.

 

BuckyXTC