+ MakeMeCowboy Posted April 7, 2020 Posted April 7, 2020 A couple of octogenarians who’d been friends for over 50 years were having a relaxing conversation on a veranda, just passing time while in their rocking chairs, suddenly Clara asked her friend “Marge, do you still get horny?” A bit irritated with the question Marge replied “of course!” A few seconds later Clara continued “well, what do you do about it?!” Still irritated, Marge replies “I suck a lifesaver.” Puzzled…, Clara asks “who drives you to the beach?” + BlueSky, + bigjoey and beachboy 3
mike carey Posted April 7, 2020 Posted April 7, 2020 Q. What is the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? A. One is a corona virus and the other is a Verona crisis. + sam.fitzpatrick and + bigjoey 2
DaveOrDavid Posted April 7, 2020 Posted April 7, 2020 A couple of octogenarians who’d been friends for over 50 years were having a relaxing conversation on a veranda, just passing time while in their rocking chairs, suddenly Clara asked her friend “Marge, do you still get horny?” A bit irritated with the question Marge replied “of course!” A few seconds later Clara continued “well, what do you do about it?!” Still irritated, Marge replies “I suck a lifesaver.” Puzzled…, Clara asks “who drives you to the beach?” funny Funny:D FUNNY I laughed out LOUD on this one
+ honcho Posted April 7, 2020 Posted April 7, 2020 Q. What is the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? A. One is a corona virus and the other is a Verona crisis. Reminds me of a joke that I've posted here before: What's the difference between a dress maker and a baroque trumpeter? Well, the dress maker tucks up frills .... marylander1940 1
RealAvalon Posted April 7, 2020 Posted April 7, 2020 Q. What is the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? A. One is a corona virus and the other is a Verona crisis. Did you come up with that yourself?
mike carey Posted April 7, 2020 Posted April 7, 2020 Did you come up with that yourself? Unfortunately, no. But I couldn't resist it.
RM Posted April 8, 2020 Posted April 8, 2020 STRESS DIET Breakfast 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz. glass of milk Lunch 4 oz. skinless broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed zucchini 1 Oreo cookie Herb tea Mid-afternoon snack Rest of the package of Oreos 1 quart Rocky Road ice cream 1 jar hot fudge Dinner 2 loaves garlic bread Large pepperoni and mushroom pizza Large pitcher Pepsi 2 Milky Way candy bars Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from the freezer I'm eating the oreos with the dark chocolate filling.
instudiocity Posted April 8, 2020 Posted April 8, 2020 I'm eating the oreos with the dark chocolate filling. What's his name?
Guest Posted April 8, 2020 Posted April 8, 2020 Well, it's protected me from all sorts of STD's for all of these years. Who cares about a face mask shortage...
+ tassojunior Posted April 8, 2020 Posted April 8, 2020 Posted by u/vpetrychuk 4 hours ago My girlfriend asked me to name off all my sexual partners in order I probably should've stopped when I got to her name RealAvalon, beachboy and + MakeMeCowboy 3
+ tassojunior Posted April 8, 2020 Posted April 8, 2020 [MEDIA=twitter]1247560818163691525[/MEDIA] RealAvalon, DaveOrDavid and + honcho 3
+ azdr0710 Posted April 10, 2020 Posted April 10, 2020 (edited) Costco jewelry case..... Edited April 14, 2020 by azdr0710 + tassojunior 1
+ pepa_e_mango Posted April 10, 2020 Posted April 10, 2020 [MEDIA=twitter]1248214342618628096[/MEDIA] + bigjoey 1
+ Autumnal Posted April 10, 2020 Posted April 10, 2020 If Trump were Captain of the Titanic: "There isn't any iceberg. There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean. The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon. There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg. We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly. The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg. We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats. Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them. We don't have any lifeboats, we're not lifeboat distributors. Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats. I really don't think we need that many lifeboats. We have lifeboats and they're supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers' lifeboats. The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship. Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg." KrisParr 1
+ sam.fitzpatrick Posted April 10, 2020 Posted April 10, 2020 Received this message from a friend today... Of all the things I learned in grade school, how to avoid cooties was the last one I expected to use. + BlueSky, Old Blue, + pepa_e_mango and 1 other 4
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