Friday Funnies

[AdamSmith]

[AdamSmith]

C.L. Edson's classic parody of Poe's 'The Raven.'

Ravin's of Piute Poet Poe

 

Once upon a midnight dreary, eerie, scary,

I was wary, I was weary, full of worry, thinking of my lost Lenore,

Of my cheery, airy, faery, fiery Dearie--(Nothing more).

I was napping, when a tapping on the overlapping coping, woke me grapping, yapping, groping . . . toward the rapping.

I went hopping, leaping . . . hoping that the rapping on the coping

Was my little lost Lenore.

That on opening the shutter to admit the latter critter, in she'd flutter from the gutter with her bitter eyes a-glitter;

So I opened the wide door, what was there? The dark weir and the drear moor,--or I'm a liar--the dark mire; the drear moor, the mere door and nothing more!

 

Then in stepped a stately raven, shaven like the bard of Avon; yes, a rovin' grievin' Raven, seeking haven at my door.

Yes, that shaven, rovin' Raven had been movin' (Get me Stephen) for the warm and lovin' haven of my stove an' oven door--

Oven door and nothing more.

 

Ah, distinctly I remember, every ember that December turned from amber to burnt umber;

I was burning limber lumber in my chamber that December, and it left an amber ember.

With a silken, sad, uncertain flirtin' of a certain curtain,

That old Raven, cold and callous, perched upon the bust of Pallas,

Just above my chamber door;

(A lusty, trusty, bust, thrust just

Above my chamber door.)

Had that callous cuss shown malice? Or sought solace, there on Pallas?

(You may tell us, Alice Wallace.)

Tell this soul with sorrow laden, hidden in the shade an' broodin',--

If a maiden out of Eden sent this sudden bird invadin'

My poor chamber; and protrudin' half an inch above my door,

Tell this broodin' soul (he's breedin' bats by too much soddin' readin'--readin' Snowden's ode to Odin)

Tell this soul by nightmares ridden, if (no kiddin') on a sudden

He shall clasp a radiant maiden born in Aidenn or in Leyden, or indeed in Baden Baden--

Will he grab this buddin' maiden, gaddin' in forbidden Eden,

 

Whom the angels named Lenore?

Then that bird said: "Never more."

 

"Prophet," said I, "thing of evil, navel, novel, or boll weevil,

You shall travel, on the level! Scratch the gravel now and travel!

Leave my hovel, I implore."

And that Raven never flitting, never knitting, never tatting, never spouting "Nevermore,"

Still is sitting (out this ballad) on the solid bust (and pallid)--on the solid, valid, pallid bust above my chamber door;

And my soul is in the shadow, which lies floating on the floor,

Fleeting, floating, yachting, boating on the fluting of the matting,--

Matting on my chamber floor.

 

-C.L. Edson

[AdamSmith]

[AdamSmith]

http://static.thepessimist.com/uploads/2014/01/bittersweetsblog.jpg

[AdamSmith]

http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0535/6917/products/consultingdemotivator_grande.jpeg?v=1416776147

[AdamSmith]

[AdamSmith]

[TruHart1]

Saw this on a friend's FB page:

 

 

TruHart1

Edited August 28, 2015 by TruHart1

[+ purplekow]

Saw this on a friends FB page:

 

 

TruHart1

1 Absolutely agree

2 i know of no statement which I agree more with

3 Cliches are so yesterday

4 I think this is worse than all the others

5 I agree about 90%

6 No one can almost never be accurate enough

7 I think think one does not have to be that accurate about this

8 Right Correct and Absolutely so

9 Are you asking me?

10 I never never never exaggerate because my mother would literally kill me if I did.

Thanks for the tips.

[+ purplekow]

Rentboys may come....hopefully and forcefully and Rentboys may go eventually and possibly in handcuffs, but the humor of Fridays is eternal if not actually always funny.

[Kevin Slater]

http://starecat.com/content/wp-content/uploads/all-you-need-is-love-yoda-love-is-all-you-need.jpg

 

 

Kevin Slater

[+ Gar1eth]

http://starecat.com/content/wp-content/uploads/all-you-need-is-love-yoda-love-is-all-you-need.jpg

 

 

Kevin Slater

 

 

I don't really get it. Are they saying Ringo looks like Yoda?

 

Gman

[+ FreshFluff]

Yoda uses an inverted sentence structure.

Edited August 29, 2015 by FreshFluff

[+ Gar1eth]

http://starecat.com/content/wp-content/uploads/all-you-need-is-love-yoda-love-is-all-you-need.jpg

 

 

Kevin Slater

 

I don't really get it. Are they saying Ringo looks like Yoda?

 

Gman

Yoda uses inverted sentence structure.

 

 

Thanks, FF. I did understand that. And I thought that might possibly be it. But Yoda's pronouncements usually sound weird-"Listen you must" or "Found someone you have" whereas "Love is all you need" makes perfect sense.

 

Gman

[MsGuy]

PTA cuts to the chase:

 

[+ FreshFluff]

http://img.brainjet.com/slides/9/6/2/9/3/2/962932965/f77b01ce5ab5959fa8de369af169a50037db3abf.jpeg

[AdamSmith]

[TruHart1]

Tough love from an educator:

 

 

o_Oo_Oo_O

 

TruHart1

[Kevin Slater]

http://pampersnpints.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/et-circumcised-uncircumcised.jpg?w=640

 

Kevin Slater

[gallahadesquire]

Having retired from the medical profession ... never mind.

 

http://images1.tickld.com/live/articles/a_584_20150730125709.jpg

[+ honcho]

Again, I can't bring myself to "Like" the content of Galahad's post, but it's the best interest of society that we be reminded of such things.

[TruHart1]

 

TruHart1

[TruHart1]

(no offense to Juan or Thor!)

TruHart1

[TruHart1]

 

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2015 EUROPE

From JOHN CLEESE

 

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists ha...ve been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

 

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

 

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

 

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..

 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

 

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

 

Regards,

John Cleese ,

British writer, actor and tall person

 

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.

 

Life is too short!

 

TruHart1

[+ poolboy48220]

I heard last night that Cleese and Eric Idle are doing a tour in the Southern states in October. I'm thinking of buying tickets and flying down just to see them.