+ MakeMeCowboy Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 A couple of octogenarians who’d been friends for over 50 years were having a relaxing conversation on a veranda, just passing time while in their rocking chairs, suddenly Clara asked her friend “Marge, do you still get horny?” A bit irritated with the question Marge replied “of course!” A few seconds later Clara continued “well, what do you do about it?!” Still irritated, Marge replies “I suck a lifesaver.” Puzzled…, Clara asks “who drives you to the beach?” + bigjoey, + BlueSky and beachboy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RealAvalon Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr_tEdQvFcc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 Q. What is the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? A. One is a corona virus and the other is a Verona crisis. + sam.fitzpatrick and + bigjoey 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveOrDavid Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 A couple of octogenarians who’d been friends for over 50 years were having a relaxing conversation on a veranda, just passing time while in their rocking chairs, suddenly Clara asked her friend “Marge, do you still get horny?” A bit irritated with the question Marge replied “of course!” A few seconds later Clara continued “well, what do you do about it?!” Still irritated, Marge replies “I suck a lifesaver.” Puzzled…, Clara asks “who drives you to the beach?” funny Funny:D FUNNY I laughed out LOUD on this one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ honcho Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 Q. What is the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? A. One is a corona virus and the other is a Verona crisis. Reminds me of a joke that I've posted here before: What's the difference between a dress maker and a baroque trumpeter? Well, the dress maker tucks up frills .... marylander1940 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RealAvalon Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 Q. What is the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? A. One is a corona virus and the other is a Verona crisis. Did you come up with that yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 Did you come up with that yourself? Unfortunately, no. But I couldn't resist it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RM Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 STRESS DIET Breakfast 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz. glass of milk Lunch 4 oz. skinless broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed zucchini 1 Oreo cookie Herb tea Mid-afternoon snack Rest of the package of Oreos 1 quart Rocky Road ice cream 1 jar hot fudge Dinner 2 loaves garlic bread Large pepperoni and mushroom pizza Large pitcher Pepsi 2 Milky Way candy bars Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from the freezer I'm eating the oreos with the dark chocolate filling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
instudiocity Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 I'm eating the oreos with the dark chocolate filling. What's his name? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 The new fashion statement for today's times... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 But what if I don't wear jockstraps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 Well, it's protected me from all sorts of STD's for all of these years. Who cares about a face mask shortage... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 Couples are doing it together! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 Just let creativity be your guide... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 [MEDIA=twitter]1246206902469459973[/MEDIA] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 + bigjoey and DaveOrDavid 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ tassojunior Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 Posted by u/vpetrychuk 4 hours ago My girlfriend asked me to name off all my sexual partners in order I probably should've stopped when I got to her name beachboy, RealAvalon and + MakeMeCowboy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ tassojunior Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 [MEDIA=twitter]1247560818163691525[/MEDIA] + honcho, DaveOrDavid and RealAvalon 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ azdr0710 Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 (edited) Costco jewelry case..... Edited April 14, 2020 by azdr0710 + tassojunior 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ RJD Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 Timely....and funny. + BlueSky 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 [MEDIA=twitter]1248406874057142276[/MEDIA] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ pepa_e_mango Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 [MEDIA=twitter]1248214342618628096[/MEDIA] + bigjoey 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Autumnal Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 If Trump were Captain of the Titanic: "There isn't any iceberg. There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean. The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon. There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg. We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly. The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg. We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats. Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them. We don't have any lifeboats, we're not lifeboat distributors. Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats. I really don't think we need that many lifeboats. We have lifeboats and they're supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers' lifeboats. The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship. Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg." KrisParr 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ sam.fitzpatrick Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 Received this message from a friend today... Of all the things I learned in grade school, how to avoid cooties was the last one I expected to use. + pepa_e_mango, + BlueSky, Kevin Slater and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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