HELP newbie here needs answers

[NYTomcat]

OK, so after a thorough review of the reviews here, this Bi married guy has finally scheduled an ON with someone highly rated by everyone here on the site. The only problem is we are not actually meeting for a couple of weeks.

 

This escort has been great (just like you all said) easy scheduling and even little enticing emails and the like building up to the get together. My problem is I sit at work and the anticipation is killing me. So I need a project HELP. This is my first time so what should I do in advance?, Any recommendations on things I should bring, I'm sure he will make the experience great but what can I do to make it even better.

 

Please, those with experience and those with just some thoughts chime in. Any guidance is appreciated.

[KMEM]

Very likely HE will bring any necessary "goods" necessary for a "safe" evening. The most likely thing you should bring is reasonable expectations. Otherwise just relax and prepare to have a good time.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[NYTomcat]

Realistic expectations I've got. In fact its been a long time so my expectations are downright conservative. Just wondered if there was anything else I should be thinking of.. Thanks for the words of calm KMEM

[+ Charlie]

Bring his fee, carefully counted beforehand, in a separate envelope, a cell phone and his phone number (in case you get lost), and breath mints. If you have any personal "toys" that you particularly like to use (e.g., your own cockring, nipple clamps, etc.), bring them, too; bring your own poppers if you need them, but be sure to speak with him about that first. Wear old underwear if you enjoy having it ripped off your body, and clothes and shoes that are easy to get out of quickly. A professional escort should supply the lubricants and condoms, but if you only like a special type, bring those, too.

 

But leave your anxieties at home, and enjoy yourself.

[Epigonos]

NYTomcat I must say, in many ways, I envy you. All of us who hire escorts have been in your situation. I contacted my first escort NOT a couple of weeks prior to our get together BUT a couple of MONTHS prior. I had never had a sexual encounter with a man before. All I could think about was that all the things I had only dreamed about doing with another man I was, at l-o-n-g last, going to be able to do. I could hardly think of anything other than that I was, FINALLY, going to be able to touch another MAN erotically, kiss another man, stroke another man and suck another man’s cock. AND that he was going to reciprocate. When the day, for our get together, finally arrived I spend the entire hour prior to the escorts arrival, in my hotel room, staring continuously at the clock terrified that he would be a no-show. When the knock on the door finally came I damn near jumped out of my skin. I opened the door and in walked a guy looking just like one of the guys I had spent a lifetime lusting after. He closed the door, said hi and kissed me and the doors to heaven opened.

 

The whole point of this long dissertation has been to assure you that you are going to have the time of your life. You have done your research, you have selected a well respect escort SO just relax, as best you can, and prepare to have a great time. If you have specific things you want to do tell him, if you don’t have any specific thing you want to do tell him, as well, and let him take the lead. If your choice is as good a mine was (Steven Kesslar/S.F.) he will know EXACTLY what he is doing and you will be just fine.

 

Do let us know how things go and seriously consider writing a review. A review from a first timer will, in the future, definitely help other guys who find themselves in your shoes.

[Boston Guy]

What should you bring? Three things:

 

(1) His fee

(2) A sense of anticipation and fun

(3) A smile

 

The rest will take care of itself.

 

BG

[Guest Merlin]

Not all escorts bring the necessary supplies. So you should have a several condums and lubricant at a minimum. Body lotion if you think you might like to do that. Body wash if you plan to shower with him. Mouth wash.

Look upon anticipation as part of the fun, like anticipating the opening of xmas presents. At the same time, try to avoid expecting him or the experience to be too perfect. Better to expect something average and be plesantly surprised than to be disappointed.

[+ g56whiz]

I you think you might bottom for him or if you want the possibility that he'll rim you, learn how to clean yourself out and be squeakily clean down there when you meet.

[btmstudnyc]

Bring fun, Passion and a sense of style(or at least humor)

 

I think the guys got it on the nose on what to bring.....I personally like Flowers, chocolates (Godiva) and Laughing gas......

 

Ok, I am not making fun.....Im just trying to be funny so you are more relaxed. I know some guys have downright shaken their first time...usually a big HUG from the escort, followed by a lengthy kiss dissapates all anxiety....

 

Here is a BIG KISS to get you through the week....

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH

 

You will have a great time....We all want to hear about it too.

JIM

[justaguy]

He's a well reviewed escort. That means that's he'll do his very best to show you a good time. The most important thing you can do is let him know anything that's really important to you. Try to resist the urge to overwhelm him with a ton of emails, though. Technical questions like what should I bring, be sure to ask him. Most of all, have a ton of fun.

[NYTomcat]

Boy have you guys been what I needed to hear.

 

Charlie - I'm not really the poppers type but the rest of the list was great idea. I would never have remember to bring the cell # Thanks

 

Boston: Thats what I figured but it helps to hear someone who has been there confirm that I just need to arrive and relax

 

Merlin: I agree the anticipation is part of the fun Im just trying to balance this excitment so that is does not converge on panic. My sex life has been extremely tame for nearing 20 years, so my expectations are minimal but its been a long long long time since ive shared more than a handshake with a man.

 

G56: That has been on my mind and I have been making some plans should the evening head in that direction:)

 

Epigonos: THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH, you hit the nail on the head. More than anything I just needed to hear that others had felt this. A mix of worry over being so new at all of this and yet craving it for so long you feel starved. I most certainly will write a review, of course for me the experience is more the first time with a man experience (OK its not the first but Im 39 now and my last was at age 20) So many reviewers who have obviously more solid experience can speak to the acts and things an escort can do (i have little to compare it too) For me the review is about the comfort level an escort makes me feel when your with them

[NYTomcat]

BTMstudNY: Thank you, that should get me through the next few days, but ill call you if it doesn't

 

Justaguy: Nope I've held off emailing him, he's got a job to do, I work hourly too and understand. Thus here I am on the forum. But you do bring up a good point, I need to figure out what I want so I can communicate that, unfortunately my comfort level will be dictating alot of that.

 

MORE THAN ANYTHING. Thank you all for making me laugh, even at myself a little

[justaguy]

If you haven't done so already, be sure to let him know what your situation is. The really good ones have an incredible way of cutting through the nervousness and putting you at ease.

[Guest greatness]

ThankYouMan

 

NYTomcat... You are so polite to leave thank you notes to everybody. I think you will have a good time because escorts like sweet people. ~~~

 

BTMstudNY: Thank you, that should get me through the next few days, but ill call you if it doesn't

 

Justaguy: Nope I've held off emailing him, he's got a job to do, I work hourly too and understand. Thus here I am on the forum. But you do bring up a good point, I need to figure out what I want so I can communicate that, unfortunately my comfort level will be dictating alot of that.

 

MORE THAN ANYTHING. Thank you all for making me laugh, even at myself a little

[+ azdr0710]

not to repeat things, but......

 

without emailing him constantly like an excited little kid, make sure he knows this is a "first time"-sort of thing....let him know what sort of stuff you'd like to see happen...or tell him to lead the way....tell him you've been getting newbie advice at daddy's and have heard he's well-reviewed (you've probably already done this)

 

start out with some little chat, offer some water or a soda, then suggest a body rub back-and-forth (give and receive) if he isn't leading at first....

 

relax, smile, don't talk fast, look him in the eye, listen, let the outside world disappear, let him entertain you.....

 

I usually put out the money envelope, but don't offer it until the end....you may want to tell him beforehand that it'll be set up this way.....

 

if all goes well, send him a quick thank-you email afterwards.....

[jeepman]

Ah- the anticipation. I remember it well.

Suggest you discuss if you need to bring any "supplies" or if he will have them on hand. Don't forget the toothbrush and mouthwash and make sure you shower beforehand. I find that a bottle of wine to share or a beverage of his liking is usually appreciated and is often a nice way to kick off the evening. If you planning on spending a considerable amount of time with him, then feed the poor guy or at least make the offer. The nervousness will take care of itself when you meet him and by all means, bring our appetite. Good luck, take a deep breath and enjoy.

[+ purplekow]

NYTom I advise you to enjoy the anticipation. I think you might be well served by daydreaming about it or by thinking about it while trying to fall asleep at night. Try to imagine the smell of sweaty sex and the salty taste of a man's tightly muscled flesh. Demand that your brain convince your fingers that you are caressing his neck, his arms his buttocks his hard dick. Listen and hear the muffled groans of pleasure. Are they yours or his? Murmur tender words of affection or scream out explicit sexual commands. Let you mind take you to places you have never been and feel your heart race as you imagine the pleasure, the pain and the exquisite unabashed joy of this encounter. Bring yourself close to orgasm and then hold back, deny yourself the pleasure of release and then bring yourself even closer and then closer and then finally allow your hot come to flow over you. On the day of the encounter, get to the location early and relax. Shower. Eat a light meal. A small glass of wine and a taste of chocolate prior to his arrival may stimulate the senses. No matter what you have done, when the knock comes on the door, your heart will race and you will have have all sorts of crazy ideas. Deep breath. Stop thinking. Open the door and let him and all those stored sensations take over. Enjoy Enjoy Enjoy. Breath. Enjoy Enjoy. Breath. Scream out in delight. Resume thinking. Start planning the next time.

[Guest greatness]

oh my

 

Purplekow... It's so mesmerizing. It's like listening to a hypnosis tape.

 

NYTom I advise you to enjoy the anticipation. I think you might be well served by daydreaming about it or by thinking about it while trying to fall asleep at night. Try to imagine the smell of sweaty sex and the salty taste of a man's tightly muscled flesh. Demand that your brain convince your fingers that you are caressing his neck, his arms his buttocks his hard dick. Listen and hear the muffled groans of pleasure. Are they yours or his? Murmur tender words of affection or scream out explicit sexual commands. Let you mind take you to places you have never been and feel your heart race as you imagine the pleasure, the pain and the exquisite unabashed joy of this encounter. Bring yourself close to orgasm and then hold back, deny yourself the pleasure of release and then bring yourself even closer and then closer and then finally allow your hot come to flow over you. On the day of the encounter, get to the location early and relax. Shower. Eat a light meal. A small glass of wine and a taste of chocolate prior to his arrival may stimulate the senses. No matter what you have done, when the knock comes on the door, your heart will race and you will have have all sorts of crazy ideas. Deep breath. Stop thinking. Open the door and let him and all those stored sensations take over. Enjoy Enjoy Enjoy. Breath. Enjoy Enjoy. Breath. Scream out in delight. Resume thinking. Start planning the next time.

[NYTomcat]

Wow, you guys are full of great ideas, I'm already getting the nerves under control. I feel like I've got a comfort level going. For awhile today the whole experience seemed totally foreign. Obviously I've never been with an escort, certainly not this escort. Hell I hadn't even been with a man (for a long time) the whole thing verged on overwhelming. You fine gentlemen have really helped bring it down to a much calmer new experience.

 

Justaguy: I was thinking I might quickly leave the escort a note to check out this thread, it says what im looking for pretty clearly or at least the basic tenor of where I am.

 

Greatness: THANK YOU but my sweetness is just in return for all the guidance that has really been calming the nerves and building the excitement (also thanks for the private advice, your points are well taken)

 

Azdr0710: That was what I needed, the how to calm and break the ice at first although from my discussions and the reviews I choose carefully someone who seems very adept at making the moment intimate and comfortable. I need that

 

Jeepman: The wine I already have, a deep breathe I'll need and I promise to feed, water and care for him

 

Purplekow: WOW if I had not made up my mind to do this for myself you would have just sold me. YOU have an incredible sensual side. In one paragraph you built up the experience, held it at the peak, brought it to a gutteral release, but then immediately started back with the anticipation building (Do you write for a living?) Just write me a couple pages purple. whew, I can give them to him and say, "here, just do what purple outlined for us" LOL

[NYTomcat]

Jeepman of course mentioned dining. I suddenly thought of going out to eat or drink and realized ive never been out, like a date out, with a man. I've lived a lie a long time, a jail of my own design for reasons I was to young, stupid and/or weak to get through. Those choices have given me great treasures but limited my experiences. If dinner out should be part of the picture, should I be concerned over public displays. (Obviously I'm not going to start dry humping the man on his bar stool, well it has been a long time, but lets assume I wont) Is there a common limit to decorum?

 

Should i be careful of where?

 

Do escorts have standard practices on this front?

 

Im not exactly a bastian of the gay community as to where to go and the escort is from out of town.

 

Perhaps dinner in would be better but it almost seems a shame to not experience the whole sensuality of dining out if you know what I mean.

[+ azdr0710]

guys eat out all the time together, but I wouldn't go to some wine-and-candlelight "date" place.....if you're near your home turf, you may, of course, want to avoid places where you may see somebody you know....if nervous about being seen, some cover story needs to be coordinated with your guy...if he's as well-reviewed as you say, no "scene" will occur....you're just two dudes out for dinner...pick out a favorite sports grill or a steak joint??....

 

don't eat "in" if you mean room service....what a colossal bore that would be

[Guest]

Ah- the anticipation. I remember it well.

Don't forget the toothbrush and mouthwash and make sure you shower beforehand.

Although good oral hygiene is a must, I would strongly advise you NOT to brush your teeth or floss within 2 hours of the meeting. This may lead to blood exposure (or exposure to pre-cum, etc. if you suck him). Listerine mouth wash and breath strips are great. I always pop in a Listerine breath strip right as the doorbell is rung. Although any good escort will bring lube and rubbers, it's always a good idea to bring your own because occasionally they'll be without, in which case your really in an awkward situation. In any case, I often have brands I prefer. Have fun and let us know how it goes!

[MsGuy]

NYTomcat, your idea of starting the ON with a date experience is spot on. Just as on a regular date, dinner and a drink gives you a chance to talk and get familiar with each other before getting down to the nitty gritty. And why not use the upcoming event as an excuse to scout out New York's gay scene for suitable locales? It's not all back rooms and groping hands. Or at least it wasn't way back when.

[NYTomcat]

Well actually MsGuy although I live near NYC we are meeting in Philly. Any recommendations?

[MsGuy]

As the name indicates, I live a long way from Philly.

 

I think PurpleKow lives in New Jersey. Maybe he could suggest some possibilities.

 

In the "it's a new world department" the official tourist bureau for Philadelphia actually has a downloadable navigaytour @

http://www.gophila.com/assets/dmt/downloads/2009_Philly_Navigaytour.pdf

 

And there always Damron's City Guide but it tends to be a bit out of date IMHO: https://damron.com/city_guide.php

 

Have fun and play safe.