cum 4 me

[Guest windy]

I am not sure if in archives.. But I wanted to raise a point about recent detail from an escort date.

 

Is reasonable to expect the escort to cum? The date, even though commercial, is supposed to give the illusion of a hot date, or hot sex with a lover. In most cases (my life at least) both my partner and I orgasmed at the end. If my lover didn't cum at some point, I would feel he has some dysfunction or is no longer sexually attracted to me. For me this is part of all sex. While not the most important aspect of the sex act it is pretty standard fare. I paid him an attractive rate to make the illusion of good hot sex.

 

Is this part of the escort's private life that clients dare not access? I didn't ask his real name, about his family, or other things I need not concern myself with.

 

My hunch is that he wants to hold it off as to have some energy for the next client. I don't want to go into the multiple clients in a day issue, as not at all my point. Just want to know were my expectation out of line?

 

A couple of days before the date I sent an email to give the address, and to clearly stated what things I was expecting (top, bttm, oral, kiss, cuddle, and cum -- really like to cum over my chest...). I asked him to think on it, and if he had issues with a certain act, to let me know now, ie., if you do not bottom. I made communicated very clearly to him before the date. He said all is fine.

 

We met, fooled around, and toward end I suggested we cum. He started to jack off a tiny bit, but moved off and started to jack me off instead. I said what's the matter, and he said "I cannot cum as his cock is not "responding -- maybe was the condom on before". He kept jacking me off, and I suggested (nicely) we stop and clean. He said that I didn't cum and that I should. I just said is ok, not to worry. You didn't cum either.

 

I didn't make a point at the time, and have not said a thing since.

[Guest Jason Reardone]

My opinion....If you detailed what you wanted before hand and the escort STILL accepted you as a client then indeed some effort should have been made to accomodate you. There is however the chance that indeed either he was "put-off" by something or just having an "off" day. Both are possible and since I don't think anyone of us can WILL an erection the way the United States Post Office Wills it's delivery of the mail; through rain, sleat or snow or unless this is a repeat offender then I wouldn't make much of it. The biggest and most horrible mistake clients make is that they make conclusions about the verility of their escort by what they have experienced with other people. If that person doesn't live up to it then "They MUST HAVE HAD ANOTHER CLIENT BEFORE "ME" is the first thing you think.

 

If it were only that simple life would be a tiscuit. The second biggest mistake is that it is somehow you the client that is unattractive and contributing to the disappointment. Although I have had some challenging physiology projects, the endearing and ultimately arousing part of an encounter for me lies in the psyche and not always in the body. A client who is large, physically unattractive but confident respecful and caring is much better (and more arousing) than an arrogant primadonna who thinks you should change your eye color as not disuade from his striking resemblance to Brad Pitt.

 

I never promise my clients that I will or will not come. If I do, I do. I can promise them a pleasant and fulfilling session. I can promise them that I will reserve the "day" for them and not schedule other clients, I can promise that I will or will not top or bottom but mother nature has her bidding and with me she has no discernable itinerary. With others She's Old Faithful and for those guys I tip my hat. <jr>

[Guest DevonSFescort]

Based on what you're telling us, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. It would be one thing if the plumbing faltered a little and his cock didn't stay rock hard for quite as long as you'd like (unless he's marketed himself as someone who stays hard for hours on end). But if he couldn't cum at all, especially knowing in advance not only that you like guys to cum (duh!) but that part of your fantasy involved how and where they cum, then it sounds like there was a lapse of professionalism on his part. Either he wasn't listening to his body while scheduling his appointments, or he'd been putting something in his body (drugs) that inhibited his ability to get off.

 

It's true that there are some clients whose scene doesn't involve the escort shooting, or who, if they cum first, proceed directly to the afterglow without seeming to notice or care whether the escort got off. But when I'm scheduling appointments, even though escort rates are for time only, I try to make sure there's "capacity" for at least one squirt per appointment. And in the case of a client for whom cumming seemed integral to the fantasy, I would definitely make a point of letting him know where he stood in the day's sequence. My hunch is that you wouldn't have been too thrilled if your date "shot" a thin, soupy dribble on your chest either, though at least he'd have given you something (an effort, for starters).

 

By the way, I don't quite agree that the escort's job is to create the "illusion" of hot sex. Hopefully instead he is helping to create the EXPERIENCE of hot sex because he's simply the type of guy who can genuinely enjoys sparking sexual chemistry with a wide variety of men. If he's really having to fake it then most likely there are more unhappy stories like yours floating around out there...

[Guest Kenny021]

Your point is very interesting one and something that has bothered me for some time. The last few escorts that I hired also did not cum and, while I was disappointed, I did not raise the issue with them. I guess I did not want to get into the possibility that it would turn them off to me. Actually, many of the escorts I have recently hired could not even get an erection, or if they did manage it, it didn't stay hard. I am paranoid that it is "my fault", that I wasn't attractive enough to get them aroused.

There was a previous thread on this issue and, as I recall, many escorts appear to suffer from "erection" and "cumming" problems. Again, is it because they have to save it for later clients,OR, they just had a previous client and they spent it on them. Whatever the reason, it is VERY DISAPPOINTING to the client who expects erections and climaxes and doesn't get them. Many escorts seem to feel that the only thing that counts is if the client cums. That is an assumption that shouldnnn't be made.

I would really like to see escorts respond to this.

[Guest WetDream]

Some wise person said, "Participate in process, don't confront results." I try to remember that when I am with an escort. Most of the time we both cum and shoot nice loads. Sometimes (at my age) I have intense internal orgasims with little or no visible product. When that happens, I ask the escort if he wants to cum or not. If he says "yes." I am delighte to see that happens. If the answer is "no," that's OK too (he may or may not have another appointment scheduled; it is none of my business). It is the overall experience with the man that makes me decide to call him again for another date. So far, nobody that I have asked to come back has refused. :9

[Guest WetDream]

RE: P.S.

 

I agree that if you let an escort know that having him cum is important to you, it is a big disappointment if that doesn't happen. It should certainly be a factor in your decision as to whether or not to hire him again.

[Guest Jason Reardone]

RE: P.S.

 

This is the best approach,

 

Never forget, a good escort is evaluating the "client" also to determine if he is acceptable and rarely does it have to do with the physical. So lighten up on us guys, most the time the threat of having to COME ruins the joy of doing so. <JR>

[ready182]

I would have to add that length of the appointment is a significant factor. I think there is a big difference if an escort doesn't cum within a 1 hour appointment, versus say an overnight. With shorter appointments, the client should expect that "santa" may have to stop at a few more houses before or after yours, whereas for longer appointments I think the escorts climax, at least once, is reasonably expected.

 

Also, for the record, it is clearly less hot if you or the escort cums only by virtue of their own hand.

[Guest cp8036]

Good points guys, and glad to hear some feedback. Is cool to discuss this with guys from both sides.

 

Jason,

I don't think there was issue of unpleasantness of appearance or attitude on my part (would be hard for me to admit if was the case). We met and talked prior to the date, so I feel was a comfort level there. I am a regular guy, decent looks, not a model, but not ugly either. We had ok sex otherwise, and a generally pleasant time talking before/after. He invited me to dinner after.

 

He had no physical problems for the date, ie, he was hard most of the time. He is a health nut/gym queen, so doubt any substances present. If there was some physical problem that didn't allow for erections or ejaculations, then he should not take appointments. Call in sick for the day, and schedule when better.

 

A pleasant and fulfulling experience will vary between clients. Some will get off, and not care if you cum or not. Others are trying to see that both climax and collapse into an afterglowing cuddle. If there is something out of bounds for the escort (clients wants to do piss scenes, etc), he should be told so then. Considering the range of clients and their likes, the escort can use to his advantage. So if 2pm doesn't care about cumming, you know you can deliver for 6 pm. Some rest, you should be able with 11 pm if needed. Hell, one escort told me he gets his hourly fee of $200 for just propping his ass over the side of a bed, and the client rims him the entire time. Not bad work if you can get it !!!

 

I told the guy my expectations upfront, not doing "finishing" the date did not complete the deal. I didn't cum either, so this was a less than ideal round of sex. I don't expect a person that I just met, and get naked with in 15 mins, to know what I like, this is the reason for communicatations beforehand. I would agree the "threat" of having to cum could make it impossible. I didn't want to "demand" this at the time, so I mentioned in an email before.

 

I respect what his day may consist of. Mabye he has other tricks that day (was 9pm, so unlikely) or maybe he has a boyfriend that he wants to have sex with. I really don't care if he has 5 clients, as long as it does not infringe on the time I paid for. I don't care if he cums a drop or two, or a liter full. It is still a valid orgasm. I am in my 40's, and I deliver less than when I was a bit younger.

 

A professional in any job should know what work he can take on. I would only take issue with multiples in a day if he could not perform normal sex acts. I know we live in a capitalist soceity and the quest for earnings is not a bad thing. But, if this quest overwhelms and quality suffers, it is called greed.

 

Whether the process or result I do not know. For many a climax is the big part of a good fuck, to withhold it is offering less of the full product.

 

Devon

Point well taken about "illusion of hot sex". Maybe I am mincing words, or didn't articulate well, but I meant to say the escort date should be an illusion of a hot date. What makes it hot varies, a regular bf knows what buttons to push. Hiring a professional should accomplish this, assuming points were communicated.

 

I can ask my lover to tile the bathroom, but I will hire a pro to do the job. He should do the job as well, or maybe better than my bf.

[Guest cp8036]

Humm...

 

Interesting about what is reasonable in an hour. Normal sex to the point of orgasm could be accomplished in under an hour. Unless we were both horned up on crystal. It is not unheard of. Making love, cuddle, talk, tenderness can make for a evening of passion between two lovers.

 

You are very generous to expect less from an escort so that he can do more with subsquent dates.

 

As mentioned, I don't care about the other parts of his day, but I would just care about how it detracts from my time.

 

I'll get bashed for this... But, for a guy in his 20's to earn $200 for an hour's work is good money. Do it twice is really good money. I understand there is setup time, emails, cancellations, and an off day, but is good money nevertheless.

 

I would have a hard time for him to charge me $200 for an hour, and allow him to do a bit less with me, so that he can meet two more clients after. I don't make $600 in a day !!~~~

[sdg]

Let's see why do we equate the finale of a satisfying sexual experience with cumming. Can it be that every video you see ends that way or maybe its because we have been taught that to make our lover, mate, one-nite stand cum means we have accomplished the ultimate sexual satisfaction. To be honest I really don't want some guy straddling me and cumming just because he thinks thats what I paid for but do like it when an escort truly enjoys the release. But this brings up another question for me. How hard should an escort try to get a client to give it up. Maybe hard is a key word here. Is this something that should be expect or is it again something that needs to be discussed.

 

sdg

[mmk]

for me, if I hire and escort, I just expect him to get off, just like I would. I admit, I am hiring an escort for sexual favors, not for dating. Whedn I am on a date, sex is not always part of the agenda.

When I do hire an escort, it is fantasty fulfillment and part of that fantasy is for me to be able to get that escort off whether it is thru

oral, fucking or sucking. (If the escort ends up jacking himself off, that is fine also) I do not think that it is too demading to expect that.

[Guest dstud4hire]

You certainly didn't have an unreasonable expectation. But someone else on this thread indicated that often escorts are evaluating their client.

 

This is so true. Part of being a good escort is to listen to the verbal and non verbal cues given by the client. I have noted that some don't care if I cum. They just want the experience for themselves. I don't take offence at this at all, and know that everyone is different. I've also had experiences that the client coldn't cum, no matter how much work I put into it. They were just having an 'off' day, so of course, I topped things off by shooting my load, (and being that I love putting on a show, I made him VERY happy by my performance)

 

And yet, there are other days ...no matter how much I am turned on by escorting, that I just couldn't, (tho I stayed perfectly erect) I have generally found the men to be understanding of this.

 

HOWEVER, it is sooo important that if the guy cumming is a priority to you, indicate this to him. You can do this very easily in the beginning by simply adding to you conversation about the hot time you want with him, especially if "you cum all over my chest" etc etc (or whatever turns you on) Communication, as in anything (business, relationships, etc) is the key to getting what you want.

 

I know for me, the clients that I figure out want my cum , and that is a priority to them, then I will either not schedule anyone else that day, or place them at the beginning of my day, or I just work extra hard to ensure they are satisfied.

 

Anyway, that's my 2 cents worth. Just tell him what you want, and you would be surprised at how much you will get. Afterall, it's your buck, you should get what makes you happy! Gabe in St. Louis

[Guest bottomboykk]

Either he wasn't listening to his body while scheduling his appointments, or he'd been putting something in his body (drugs) that inhibited his ability to get off.

 

I don't entirely agree with that. Cumming is not something you can turn on or off like a spigot. Sometimes I'm in a hot situation and we're going at it, then I find I can't cum. No rhyme or reason to it, I just can't cum at that time. I'm hard as a rock, leaking precum like crazy, but I just can't shoot. Doesn't matter if I'm fucking, being fucked, being sucked, or jacking off...it won't happen. Other times, I shoot a gusher. Again, no rhyme or reason why it sometimes happens, other times doesn't. It has nothing to do with how turned on I am. Who knows why this happens.

 

All that to say...don't be too hard on the escort. It may have just been one of those things. True, he may have been saving up for someone else, but without definitive proof, I say give him a break.

 

That said, I, too, am disappointed when an escort, or any sex partner for that matter, doesn't cum when with me. But it's not a major deal with me.

[Guest ChicagoCorey]

For me personally, I always cum with a client -- not necessarily because I "need" to do so to feel the sex act is complete, but because I think it's generally expected.

 

When I'm having "amateur" sex, I don't always cum. Not because I don't want to or can't, it's pretty fun. But I've gotten to the point sexually that it's not about the fuck/get off -- it's about the fun and the action. So I can mess around for hours and not get off -- surely didn't mean I didn't have a good time.

 

However, I definitely understand that expectation from others, and since most would take me not getting off as a sign of something negative, I always make sure to do it.

 

--Corey

[Guest cp8036]

Good point.. Well, not a major deal. The rest of the things were good with the appointment.

 

But, I was kinda clear that I had expected this. So, in the end, I got a little less than what asked for and was promised.

 

I wonder if would be a major deal if an escort got a little less than what he asked for $$$ ?

 

Just tossing some points out there. More interested to hear what all the folks here think in general.

[Guest cp8036]

Gabe,

 

Thanks for good post.

 

<...Thanks Just tell him what you want, and you would be surprised at how much you will get..>

 

I did tell him and email that climax was something I hoped for.

 

 

Corey,

You sound like you are good about giving the client a good time. I agree with you about amateur sex. That is bit more personal/loving, and could be less than what I would want in a professional sex contact.

[+ Charlie]

In a scene with an escort, I care about whether or not I cum. The only time I would care about him cumming is if I wanted to get pregnant.

[adriano46]

RE: P.S.

 

Jason, Wet and others, I have to agree here too.

 

I would agree that the expectation to cum can sometimes cause a malfunction. Too much pressure. I never ask an escort to cum - but if he does, it makes me especially happy. If he gets me to cum... he is in for a big tip too.

 

Once spent a weekend with a really hot escort, who came a dozen or more times, but was deeply concerned that I never did. Flying home after the weekend I suffered blue balls in the worst way, and once home, whacked off, can was amazed at what was stored up. Why the malfunction? Who knows. I don't lose sleep over it, and would never expect the escort to perform up to the shooting climax. If he wwants to, and does, fine. If he doesn't, that often makes two of us, and that too is fine.

[Bilbo]

I disagree. I know that sometimes guys can't find the right rhythym or whatever to bring me off, or vice versa. Yet, they are paying me full flattering attention, or I am watching them avidly as I caress their ass and nibble their nipples, etc. etc. So, if I cum by my own hand - hey, it's still part of the process.

[Guest DaddyWayne]

Part of the sexual experience for me is getting the escort off -- I love to watch him cum and to hear the moans of pleasure as he shoots a load. I try not to cum until the escort I'm with cums first. To me, that enhances my sexual pleasure and I then try to shoot along with him at the same time or right afterwards. One time when I told a potential escort I wanted him to cum during our afternoon session, his response was: "Nah, I don't like to do that...it takes the edge off the day." Needless to say, I did not hire him. And, I've been with some escorts that really just couldn't cum at the time -- and I can understand that happens. The thing is though, at least they tried, and that helped make my sexual experience much better.

 

Along these same lines, I have a question -- in a situation where you hire an escort for an hour, if by chance you (the client) climaxes after 20 or 30 minutes, do you expect the escort to remain for the remainder of the time? I know even though I may have shot my load, I'd still like to cuddle and enjoy the pleasures of the escort and his body. Some escorts, once you've cum, they're up and getting dressed. Those are the ones I never contact again.

 

Wayne (Orlando)

mojohand88@hotmail.com

[Guest JustStarting]

>Part of the sexual experience for me is getting the escort

>off -- I love to watch him cum and to hear the moans of

>pleasure as he shoots a load. I try not to cum until the

>escort I'm with cums first. To me, that enhances my sexual

>pleasure and I then try to shoot along with him at the same

>time or right afterwards. One time when I told a potential

>escort I wanted him to cum during our afternoon session, his

>response was: "Nah, I don't like to do that...it takes the

>edge off the day." Needless to say, I did not hire him.

>And, I've been with some escorts that really just couldn't

>cum at the time -- and I can understand that happens. The

>thing is though, at least they tried, and that helped make

>my sexual experience much better.

>

>Along these same lines, I have a question -- in a situation

>where you hire an escort for an hour, if by chance you (the

>client) climaxes after 20 or 30 minutes, do you expect the

>escort to remain for the remainder of the time? I know even

>though I may have shot my load, I'd still like to cuddle and

>enjoy the pleasures of the escort and his body. Some

>escorts, once you've cum, they're up and getting dressed.

>Those are the ones I never contact again.

>

>Wayne (Orlando)

>mojohand88@hotmail.com

 

 

I agree. One question--should I have told the escort about my reaction or just move on?

[Guest Vegasboy Dave]

Very good discussion

 

As for me I have always blasted off for a client and had no problem doing so if they would like me to, some like it and some dont. As for myself that is why I only schedule 1 client a day in case they do want me to and that way each and everyone one of my clients will get the same attention, But I can understand if a escort can't cum sometimes to because we are human just like everyone in here and we have to be aroused also to get us going and worked up, so it all depends on the situation and how each one participates to arouse the other person.

 

Hope this makes sense..

 

Smooch and Hugs

Vegasboy Dave

http://www.vegasboy.com/vbescort

[Rick Munroe]

>The date, even

>though commercial, is supposed to give the illusion of a hot

>date, or hot sex with a lover. In most cases (my life at

>least) both my partner and I orgasmed at the end. If my

>lover didn't cum at some point, I would feel he has some

>dysfunction or is no longer sexually attracted to me.

 

OK, if you tell an escort in advance that you require him to have an orgasm, that's his reponsibility to let you know whether or not he can always do so on command. But in a non-escorting situation, you honestly think that if the guy doesn't shoot, he isn't attracted to you? Even if he had a hard-on the whole time?? Like bottomboykk, Jason & Gabe said, sometimes you just can't cum and that is not necessarily indicative of dysfunction.

 

My 11th grade P.E./health class teacher, Ms. (don't ever call her Miss) Balboa, taught us (& I'll never forget): "Foreplay is not the means to an end; it can be the end in itself." (I actually now like Wet Dream's quote better, tho.) I can't even begin to count the times I've had "recreational" sex with a really hot guy with whom there was intense mutual attraction/chemistry/passion, and one if not both of us didn't cum. I've been a bottom whose desire and biggest turn-on is pleasing the top, or being used by the top to get himself off, and I've been a top who really got off on how my dick in a guy's ass or mouth turned him on (I guess Oprah's Dr. Phil would say I'm a "people pleaser"). The best part for me, tho, is the kissing, the cuddling, the passion before and after. Of course, shooting a load (especially in something) feels fucking good and I often do (sometimes even if the client has shot & is "done")...but I always think of dear sweet Ms. Balboa (OK, she was a miserable dyke witch but still full of insight & wisdom) (and flannel shirts & trail mix) (and a threadbare Channel 13 cloth book bag). I think that if you are worrying or concerned while having sex about who cums and who doesn't, then you aren't losing yourself in the moment and you are inhibiting yourself. That said, when I'm a bottom, I sure do love to make my top cum...but only because I want him to feel good through my technique or body...not because I'd feel that I failed or that he wasn't into me if he didn't. I also love to cum as a top for the same reason: the pleasure it gives the bottom to see/feel/taste it.

 

This thread reminds me of the one in the archives about cockrings...I believe someone said they were insulted when an escort wore one. I'll never understand how making yourself feel good can be an insult to someone else. If the escort is giving you his all, he's hard, attentive, and successfully fulfilling whatever role you want him to play, and making you feel like, for the moment, you're his lover, isn't that really what it's all about? Like I said, if your "thing" is cum, then yeah, the escort has to either decline the job or make sure he can do it. But if it hasn't been discussed as an issue or requirement, then cut the guy some slack (wow, I haven't used that idiom since high school).

 

I think sdg put it well: "...I really don't want some guy straddling me and cumming just because he thinks thats what I paid for but do like it when an escort truly enjoys the release." I think that's the healthiest attitude and it's certainly how I would feel if I were hiring.

[+ Lucky]

RE: cum 4 me- or not

 

So, Rick, when a client specifies on the phone that he wants to see the escort cum, and the escort agrees, what is the protocol if the escort can't? Or won't? A refund, a discount, a packet of cum sent later in the mail? A bouquet of flowers sent by a hunky deliveryman? An offer to come again and try harder?