Being Honest

[Guest Jesse Dane]

This is a very hard post for me to write. But being forward and honest about everything has always been important to me and in the case of this it is extremely important I be honest about it in my work as an escort.

 

I found out on Monday that I am now HIV positive. I know that this will cause a number of clients not to want to hire me, but it would be irresposible and wrong not to tell. I know there are still a number of people who are fine with it when playing safe, so I will still be escorting for those who are.

 

I'm still kind of processing this all myself. How it happened, what I'm doing now. But I'm doing pretty well and thankfully I'm dating a really great guy who is helping me through it.

[Chuck50]

Jesse thanks for your honesty. HUGS Chuck

[Boston Guy]

Thanks for being honest.

 

You face a long road. I wish you good fortune as you embark upon it and am glad you have a friend by your side.

 

BG

[Guest baba]

Good luck man. I know that was a hard post to write... but being honest is important. Know that you have support here!

[JT Brooklyn]

Jesse..The Best to You in the Future, at this very hard time!

[Luv2play]

Jesse, I don't know you except through this message center but I admire your honesty and hope the best for you. You have taken the first step in acknowledging that you have this virus and if you deal with the medical issues forthrightly, there is no reason why you shouldn't have a happy and productive life.

 

A doctor friend of mine who deals with HIV/AIDS cases told me he counsels each of them that what they now face is not a death sentence but a LIFE sentence with the diagnosis of HIV. Until a cure is found, if you closely monitor the HIV progression and take the appropriate medications when they are required, you will be fine.

 

Good luck!

[KY_TOP]

A person is no better than their word. Your honesty in this matter, plus how certainly hard it was for you to inform all here, says a great deal about you. Wishing you the best as you go forward and hang onto that guy by your side.

[jackhammer91406]

You faced a tough choice and made a good one. Wisdom shines through your post. I have faith you will continue to make the right choices as evidenced by your decision to post this information. Class act.

[CF]

Jesse, I respect you for your honesty. There are many, who would not have spoken out when finding out. It was a difficult choice for you. In doing what you've done, it speaks volumns about your integrity.

Although I am HIV negative, I would have no problem seeing you because of your openness.

I wish you nothing but everything that will lead to your happiness on your journey thru life.

Be well, be safe and be yourself. CF

[Rick Munroe]

Jesse, I've enjoyed your posts over the past year, and while I didn't "enjoy" reading this news, I was moved by your honesty. I can't imagine how you're feeling now, but as others have said before, this is a family here (yes, a dysfunctional one, but then aren't they all?) so please continue to update us and turn to us for cyber-hugs, if you need them. You definitely have my respect and compassion, and I'm sure many others agree.

[+ Lucky]

Well, I was moved by his honesty too. Especially on this board, where so many want to stay as far as they can from any escort with HIV. They prefer to operate in the dark, as it were, deluding themselves that by not knowing the escort's status then somehow it is okay.

 

It works the same way with some escorts. They say they will presume that all clients are HIV+, but, if someone actually has the kind of honesty that Jesse has shown here, the kind of honesty that moves Rick Munroe, then they will be rejected as a client.

 

Here's what Rick said about such honesty last year:

 

"unfortunately, on the rare occasion when a client tells me he is positive, I decline the job because it would just be too much of a mental block for me)."

[Guest FallenAngel]

You know Lucky-being a smuck becomes you. But, don't you ever know when to shut up and just respect the decency of the moment?

[+ Lucky]

My post is consistent with the thread. You might try "being honest" yourself, except that you'd then have to post under your real screenname here.

[+ deej]

I applaud your honesty, Jesse. And I can well imagine how difficult it was to make this announcement, particularly HERE where escorts often get no respect at all.

 

Please know that you do have friends here, and we'll be here for you in whatever form you need. If you just need a hug, or a good laugh, we'll do our best. (Some of us ARE pretty laughable! ;-))

 

And, for the record, you're still on my list. :o

[Rick Munroe]

>Here's what Rick said about such honesty last year:

>

>"unfortunately, on the rare occasion when a client tells me he

>is positive, I decline the job because it would just be too

>much of a mental block for me)."

 

Thanks for regurgitating my posts back up for me, Lucky. You seem to have taken that post personally, and I'm sorry if it offended you, but I was just being honest (something that you apparently didn't appreciate). But actually, after I posted what you just dug up, I thought about it a lot and, unlike our dear President, decided that I needed to re-think my feelings and policy. I realized that that mental block was silly, since I do always play safe, and since then have had a couple of really amazing experiences with some poz clients (and one coming up soon). I have a lifetime of neuroses from my germ-obsessed mother to overcome and I am doing so little by little. So there!

 

And now, can we please return this thread to Jesse?

[seaboy4hire]

>>

>

>And now, can we please return this thread to Jesse?

Rick ask ye shall recieve. Jesse, kid you've got balls! I know what you are going through been there done that got the shiny cock ring. Keep your head up and know that you aren't alone. Yes you most likely will lose some clients because of your status but the ones that you will see are some of the greatest men. The ones that will hire you regardless of your status are some of the most understanding, caring and my money would be on this the ones that would be there for you if you needed a shoulder to lean on or an ear to lend ya. You and I are a pretty rare breed because of our of honesty and some of the most admired because of that. If anything after finding out I was positive made me realize that life is short and never take one nanosecond of it for granted. Cherrish the love ones you have around you, apperate every breath you take and get out there and shake your ass like it aint no ones biz! Take care kid cause there will be hard times and there will be some really awesome times too. Just roll with the punches and don't let the small shit get to you. If ya need to talk well you have my email in your in box and my other contact info.

 

Hugs,

Greg

Greg Seattle Wa [email protected]

http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/greg_seattle.html

http://seaboy4hire.tripod.com

Palm Springs April 28th and 29th.

[+ Lucky]

You are welcome, Rick. I am glad to have been able to give you the opportunity to inform us about your change of heart.

 

The idea that this thread is being somehow taken from Jesse, however, is a little ludicrous. He himself mentioned that some clients won't see him now that he is positive, and Greg alluded to the same thing in his response.

 

So, people's reactions to someone being HIV positive is indeed part of this thread. Those who want to avoid a discussion of the subject raised by Jesse don't have to participate. It would be a rare thread indeed that didn't take a course of its own.

[+ ArVaGuy]

It is very admirable that you have decided to make your situation known and that shows a lot of character on your part.

 

Right now you may be focusing on the "how did this happen?" question. Which may be followed by the "why me?" and the "fuck you all" feeling. This is a natural and part of the process but please don't allow these things to take control of your life.

 

You can have HIV or HIV can have you. By this I mean that you have a chance to control this disease or it will certainly control you. The coming weeks and months are going to be a blur for you. You are going to have to start your medical regime and educate yourself. Many tough choices will come your way from now on. But many more opportunities will be the more likely course.

 

If you keep a good outlook you can and will do well its very clear you have the character and brains to carry on.

 

 

ArlingtonVaGuy

[Rick Munroe]

>The idea that this thread is being somehow taken from Jesse,

>however, is a little ludicrous.

 

I've been accused, and rightly so, on many occasions of stealing threads with my off-topic smartass comments. So, I just didn't want to be indirectly responsible for doing it just this once. I felt Jesse deserved not to have this turn into another Rick thread.

[Zippy]

I truly do not understand why you post here at times, Lucky.

[uwsman2]

I also applaud your honesty.

 

For many years I have assumed that the escorts I hire are probably HIV+, and I think many clients do assume that. On the other hand, there's a difference between assuming and knowing, so it is certainly both brave and honest to make the announcement on this site when you are planning to continue escorting.

Handling the news is tough. My partner learned he was HIV+ almost a decade ago, and kept the news from me for several years (which presented no risk of infection to me because our relationship had long since ceased to include fluid-exchange sex) mainly to keep me from worrying. Once it was necessary for him to go on meds he knew he would have to tell me. At first I was angry that he had kept the secret from me, because I thought it indicated lack of confidence in me sticking by him and being supportive, but I came to accept his judgment in it and our relationship is stronger than ever.

 

The point of my bringing this up is to say that my partner has thrived on the available meds, is healthy, and is leading a normal work life (although he decided not to pursue any change of job for fear of screwing up his current, very supportive employee benefits package that is covering all the meds without problems).

 

The major issue for my partner has not so much been medical complications -- although the occasional side effects as he adjusts to a change in meds from time to time can be uncomfortable -- but rather the depression that can occur in accompaniment to the pressures of managing a serious permanent infection and contemplating the uncertain road ahead. And so I urge you to be sure that you have the support to get through bouts of depression if they occur, to be aware of the possibility, and to seek professional assistance at the first sign of it. Having somebody with whom you can vent is important. Studies show a high proportion of people living with HIV suffer from depression, and it is something that can be treated and managed, so don't let it get out of hand through denial or embarrassment. Don't keep it to yourself. Seeking treatment for depression is nothing to be ashamed of. On the contrary, seeking such treatment is the smart, mature thing to do.

 

I wish you all the luck in the world. I've not had the pleasure of meeting you, and was one of those NYC folks who felt a twinge of regret when you moved to SF. Maybe I'll have the opportunity on one of your NYC visits.

[BigK]

Jesse,

 

I will join the other voices here thanking you for your honesty and I will keep positive thoughts for you in mind. I have loved the spirit of your posts and think you are a classy guy. Your post only confirms this. Along with your other attributes I find your honesty really sexy.

[Guest]

I have to agree with Lucky here.

[Guest]

Let me be among those who commend you for your honesty. If it's of any solace to you, I would not be less likely to hire someone an escort who's openly HIV+. I always assume all of my sexual partners are HIV+, especially escorts, but even my domestic partner (although I do think it's extremely less likely that my partner is positive as opposed to escorts I hire). I would even suggest that someone who's openly positive and therefore not in denial is much less likely to transmit HIV than someone in denial. A person who's proactive will make sure his disease is in control and therefore have low viral loads. People who are in denial are more likely to have high viral loads, and therefore be much more likely to transmit the disease.

[jawjateck]

My respect for you, and your character, just increased ten-fold upon reading this difficult news. This admission is class, courage, and dignity. You are a young man I would like to meet some day. I wish you well, Jesse.