App meeting courtesy

[+ purplekow]

I do not use dating apps much but I had an encounter recently and would like some feedback.  After a brief text conversation, the texter said that his husband was out of town and he was just finishing dinner and then headed out to the hot tub.  I said I was just leaving the gym and headed home.  He suggested I stop by his house.  As it turns out, he lives less than a 1/4 mile from my home.  I arrived and entered his yard through the gate as he texted me to do so only after  I texted him that I had arrived.  I introduced myself, he did not.  He sat and indicated that I should do so and then he took out a joint.  He lit it, smoked it and said nothing. No offer to partake was made to me.  (I would have refused so I did not ask to partake.)  I asked a few basic questions and his answers were short with no questions for me in return.  He appeared very stoned and sort of gazed off for a minute or more at a time.  After trying to initiate some human to human interaction without success, I told him I was leaving.  He walked me out and then asked me to contact him again.  

This was not the oddest interaction I have had on first meets, but it was right up there.  

My question is for those more experienced in these type of encounters, is it common to not exchange names?  to not offer a beverage or recreation drug if one is using it?  I was not particularly attracted to him but I gave the courtesy of trying to make a connection, should I have just said thanks but no thanks and gone home after the initial eyeballing?  What is the proper etiquette for these kinds of encounters?

[MscleLovr]

2 hours ago, purplekow said:

What is the proper etiquette for these kinds of encounters?

I don’t want to be unkind @purplekow And I’m not being judgemental but this was a last minute hook-up with what turned out to be a near-neighbour.

You stated you were “not particularly attracted to him”. Perhaps he felt the same about you.

I think this was what used to be called a case of ‘ships passing in the night’. Don’t overthink this.

There’s no etiquette attached here. When things don’t work out as you hoped, simply smile and say “Maybe another time…” and leave promptly.

[BigDMike]

If you're not feeling it, you don't have to stay.

It's always easier when you see the red flags when you first arrive...makes cutting out easier.

[ShortCutie7]

Sounds to me like he was just lonely and wanted company… there are some people who just can’t be alone; even sitting in silence with a stranger is better than nothing.