Jurassic Rebirth

[d.anders]

I should have my head examined, again. I'm a sucker for dinosaurs.

I tried 4DX 3D for the first time. Won't be doing that again. For $35, the screen was too small, and the pain in my butt lasted for days. Moving seats is an interesting concept, very Disney, but the seat design needs a total overhaul. There is a thick metal bar that sits where the seat-back meets the seat, making it impossible for the butt to get comfortable. For a 2+ hour movie, it was pure torture on my pubis bone. Hated that.

The CGI is superb, the story not so much. It's far better than the most recent versions, but could have been so much better.

Scarlett Johansson and Jonathan Bailey have great chemistry. I could see them coming back for more.

[d.anders]

Probably best not to watch this until after you see the movie. It is very entertaining, maybe more so than the movie. It's a hell of a lot shorter. There are quite a few hate videos on the movie, but this one is the best so far.

 

[+ ApexNomad]

As a fan of the original Jurassic Park, I was cautiously optimistic when I heard the screenwriter from the 1993 classic had returned for Jurassic World: Rebirth. That optimism didn’t just fade—it got devoured.

I really disliked this movie. It’s a flavorless rehash of the first, stripped of everything that made it special. The suspense? Gone. The awe and magic? Fossilized. The plot is so thin it could be torn by a stiff breeze, and the characters feel like cardboard cutouts forced to read cue cards. There’s zero chemistry—between the actors, the ideas, or even the dinosaurs.

And then there’s the opening scene. A Snickers wrapper? I thought I was watching Final Destination. It’s so laughably stupid, it cheapens everything that follows. 

And we come back to that lab many, many years later, yet somehow the junk food is still there… in perfect condition, with identical branding. Just sitting there like it’s waiting to be filmed. Shameless product placement.

Whatever this movie was aiming for—nostalgia, thrills, emotion—it missed the mark completely. Even the CGI looked worse in parts. How do you mess up dinosaurs in 2025?

This isn’t a reboot. It’s an embarrassing film with a Hollywood budget. A reminder that just because you can bring something back… doesn’t mean you should.

[d.anders]

2 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

There’s zero chemistry—between the actors

I don't think this is completely true. It appears Scarlett and Jonathan became real life friends during shooting. For me, it showed on screen, but it probably does not matter. It can't save this story.

2 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

I thought I was watching Final Destination.

I've never seen those films.

2 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

Even the CGI looked worse in parts.

I saw the film in 3D. I thought the CGI was superb. The use of smaller critters was the only time the CGI looked fake to me.

2 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

A reminder that just because you can bring something back… doesn’t mean you should.

The bank says otherwise. People don't seem to care about much when it comes to dinosaurs. This film, and the folks associated, will do very well. Hollywood cares mostly about money.

2 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

I was cautiously optimistic when I heard the screenwriter from the 1993 classic had returned

David Koepp is the 4th most successful screenwriter of all time, according to box office receipts. His resume is no slouch. It's difficult to believe he could write something this poorly, and let it get published. He's got sole writing credit for this film. The hate reviews on YouTube rip the story to shreds without much effort. The guy in the video above eviscerates the writing. I guess great sums of money allows him to live with that.

[Rod Hagen]

It looks terrible.  Like the worst of the stupid superhero movies...but with dinosaurs.

 

 

[+ ApexNomad]

22 minutes ago, d.anders said:

I don't think this is completely true. It appears Scarlett and Jonathan became real life friends during shooting. For me, it showed on screen, but it probably does not matter. It can't save this story.

I've never seen those films.

I saw the film in 3D. I thought the CGI was superb. The use of smaller critters was the only time the CGI looked fake to me.

The bank says otherwise. People don't seem to care about much when it comes to dinosaurs. This film, and the folks associated, will do very well. Hollywood cares mostly about money.

David Koepp is the 4th most successful screenwriter of all time, according to box office receipts. His resume is no slouch. It's difficult to believe he could write something this poorly, and let it get published. He's got sole writing credit for this film. The hate reviews on YouTube rip the story to shreds without much effort. The guy in the video above eviscerates the writing. I guess great sums of money allows him to live with that.

I’m not very savvy when it comes to cutting and pasting and addressing specific text. I like how you do that. I figured it out once, but then quickly forgot.

Friendship off-screen doesn’t always translate to chemistry on-screen. I didn’t feel it in their dynamic—especially not in the moments that should’ve crackled. But fair enough if it worked for you.

Re final destination. My late husband was a horror buff and I got dragged into seeing so many. You probably had the better experience. Let’s just say it felt more like a chain of disconnected wannabe wow moments than a story with actual suspense or consequence.

Maybe the 3D helped smooth over some of the rougher textures—I saw it in standard format, and there were a few shots that took me right out of the moment.

Re box office: 100% agree. Nostalgia often prints money. But from a storytelling standpoint? Not everything should come back—especially if it comes back hollow. The Terminator and Halloween franchises are perfect examples. 

And as for Koepp, that’s the part that surprised me most. He’s capable of great stuff. But this one felt like it passed through the studio sausage grinder too many times. I read an interview he gave and what he described and what I saw felt like too different movies.

[dutchal]

The movie is doing well at the box office:  https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/business/story/2025-07-06/jurassic-world-rebirth-chomps-big-fourth-of-july-box-office-weekend

The underlying plot premise is awfully weak, scientifically pathetic, in fact.  And the rest of the plot isn't much better.

Be that as it may, the CGI was awesome, and the action sequences were a lot of fun.

Jonathan Bailey, even though none of his clothes ever come off (sigh . . . .), still manages to be hot.  Same for Mahershala Ali.

Another hottie in the movie, Ed Skrein, [SPOILER ALERT] unfortunately gets eaten fairly soon after appearing on screen.  The best we get is a handful of views of him in a fairly tight shirt.

My favorite line [SPOILER ALERT]:

Pharmaceutical guy (Martin Krebs/Rupert Friend) asks Dr. Henry Loomis/Jonathan Bailey why he's taking fluid samples from the eggs of the Quetzalcoatlus northropi (largest known pterosaur) rather than from the adult animal itself.

Loomis's response:  "Because the adult is a carnivore the size of an F15."

And then, of course, one of them shows up, right on cue.

 

[BrickBuilder]

The Willing Suspension of Disbelief.

$8.10.....great way to spend an afternoon with an endless tub of Popcorn (another $5.00).  Works out to like $6.55 an hour.......

I love the summer movie season.

 

Up next ...Superman and Fantastic Four (and I will probably splurge for the $80 popcorn bucket of Galactus' head). Woo Hoo!!!!!

[d.anders]

2 hours ago, dutchal said:

Jonathan Bailey, even though none of his clothes ever come off (sigh . . . .)

A complete waste. Most of the movie is in and around water. He should have been naked.

2 hours ago, dutchal said:

Another hottie in the movie, Ed Skrein

What another stupid decision not to have him naked as well.

2 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

I’m not very savvy when it comes to cutting and pasting and addressing specific text.

I have no clue. I tried something that worked on another cooking forum, and it works here. Run your cursor, with finger pressed, over the words you'd like to copy, when you lift your finger from the mouse, the Quote Selection pop-up will appear. Click on Quote Selection, and the software does the rest.

[dutchal]

1 hour ago, d.anders said:

A complete waste. Most of the movie is in and around water. He should have been naked.

What another stupid decision not to have him naked as well.

 

At least shirtless.

[+ ApexNomad]

4 hours ago, dutchal said:

The movie is doing well at the box office:  https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/business/story/2025-07-06/jurassic-world-rebirth-chomps-big-fourth-of-july-box-office-weekend

The underlying plot premise is awfully weak, scientifically pathetic, in fact.  And the rest of the plot isn't much better.

Be that as it may, the CGI was awesome, and the action sequences were a lot of fun.

Jonathan Bailey, even though none of his clothes ever come off (sigh . . . .), still manages to be hot.  Same for Mahershala Ali.

Another hottie in the movie, Ed Skrein, [SPOILER ALERT] unfortunately gets eaten fairly soon after appearing on screen.  The best we get is a handful of views of him in a fairly tight shirt.

My favorite line [SPOILER ALERT]:

Pharmaceutical guy (Martin Krebs/Rupert Friend) asks Dr. Henry Loomis/Jonathan Bailey why he's taking fluid samples from the eggs of the Quetzalcoatlus northropi (largest known pterosaur) rather than from the adult animal itself.

Loomis's response:  "Because the adult is a carnivore the size of an F15."

And then, of course, one of them shows up, right on cue.

 

I forgot about Ed Skrein. 

Fingers crossed on Superman.

[+ ApexNomad]

2 hours ago, d.anders said:

A complete waste. Most of the movie is in and around water. He should have been naked.

What another stupid decision not to have him naked as well.

I have no clue. I tried something that worked on another cooking forum, and it works here. Run your cursor, with finger pressed, over the words you'd like to copy, when you lift your finger from the mouse, the Quote Selection pop-up will appear. Click on Quote Selection, and the software does the rest.

Ed’s very handsome. Missed opportunity not having him swim shirtless, especially since he’s a real-life swim coach.

 

Edited July 8 by ApexNomad

[dutchal]

16 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

Ed’s very handsome. Missed opportunity not having him swim shirtless, especially since he’s a real-life swim coach.

 

[SPOILER ALERT] The waters they were in were infested with very large carnivorous aquatic dinosaurs.  Swimming would not have been a good idea, with or without clothes.  As it was, one of them picked him off the boat.

[+ ApexNomad]

7 hours ago, dutchal said:

[SPOILER ALERT] The waters they were in were infested with very large carnivorous aquatic dinosaurs.  Swimming would not have been a good idea, with or without clothes.  As it was, one of them picked him off the boat.

Shirtless was the only humane thing to do—for science, for thirst, for the dinosaur.

[MaybeMaybeNot]

I enjoyed the movie a lot.  It was far better than the last two, which were awful. Put people on an island escaping dinosaurs, and as long as they don't do anything too outlandish, I will buy it. It is Jurassic World, not Fences. 

My only complaint was that some of the CGI looked cheap, particularly the water stuff.

[+ friendofsheila]

On 7/7/2025 at 3:19 PM, d.anders said:

I should have my head examined, again. I'm a sucker for dinosaurs.

I tried 4DX 3D for the first time. Won't be doing that again. For $35, the screen was too small, and the pain in my butt lasted for days. Moving seats is an interesting concept, very Disney, but the seat design needs a total overhaul. There is a thick metal bar that sits where the seat-back meets the seat, making it impossible for the butt to get comfortable. For a 2+ hour movie, it was pure torture on my pubis bone. Hated that.

The CGI is superb, the story not so much. It's far better than the most recent versions, but could have been so much better.

Scarlett Johansson and Jonathan Bailey have great chemistry. I could see them coming back for more.

thank you for the review, d.  I don't go to movies muuch but thought I would so I could see the dinosuars on a big screen. 

Now I'll wait  until I can check it out form the library.

 

[+ friendofsheila]

On 7/8/2025 at 8:30 AM, dutchal said:

The movie is doing well at the box office:  https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/business/story/2025-07-06/jurassic-world-rebirth-chomps-big-fourth-of-july-box-office-weekend

The underlying plot premise is awfully weak, scientifically pathetic, in fact.  And the rest of the plot isn't much better.

Be that as it may, the CGI was awesome, and the action sequences were a lot of fun.

Jonathan Bailey, even though none of his clothes ever come off (sigh . . . .), still manages to be hot.  Same for Mahershala Ali.

Another hottie in the movie, Ed Skrein, [SPOILER ALERT] unfortunately gets eaten fairly soon after appearing on screen.  The best we get is a handful of views of him in a fairly tight shirt.

My favorite line [SPOILER ALERT]:

Pharmaceutical guy (Martin Krebs/Rupert Friend) asks Dr. Henry Loomis/Jonathan Bailey why he's taking fluid samples from the eggs of the Quetzalcoatlus northropi (largest known pterosaur) rather than from the adult animal itself.

Loomis's response:  "Because the adult is a carnivore the size of an F15."

And then, of course, one of them shows up, right on cue.

 

thanks, dutch, for being considerate about addding spoiler alerts.

[Archangel]

I liked it. Quite a bit. 🤷🏼‍♂️ 

[Archangel]

Also…

On the seventh Jurassic Park movie you realize we’re going to see dinosaurs eat people – not engage in some scientific exploration of morality in the modern world. That was the job of the first movie – which it did. The rest of the movies (like all the subsequent Jaws movies) are meant simply to sate people’s desire to see dinosaurs eating people. The movie delivers on exactly what its intention is – mindless gore for the hungry masses.

I never understood the need for every movie to be some sort of cinematic masterpiece insofar as its plot and symbolism and “message.” Sometimes you just want to watch something that may induce brainrot… 

[+ sync]

While watching the trailer I was surprised to see a T-Rex pursue rafting prey into deep water.  My thinking has always been that, should the situation arise, I could dash into deep water and have a modicum of safety.  Apparently not.   

                                                                                                                                  

[+ ApexNomad]

7 hours ago, Archangel said:

Also…

On the seventh Jurassic Park movie you realize we’re going to see dinosaurs eat people – not engage in some scientific exploration of morality in the modern world. That was the job of the first movie – which it did. The rest of the movies (like all the subsequent Jaws movies) are meant simply to sate people’s desire to see dinosaurs eating people. The movie delivers on exactly what its intention is – mindless gore for the hungry masses.

I never understood the need for every movie to be some sort of cinematic masterpiece insofar as its plot and symbolism and “message.” Sometimes you just want to watch something that may induce brainrot… 

I actually enjoy the Fast & Furious movies, which definitely require a massive suspension of disbelief and it’s the same thing over and over again (although… those last two 🤯). I just think there’s a difference between turning your brain off for fun and feeling like the movie thinks you don’t have one. I don’t need Citizen Kane, but I do appreciate a little craft, a little care. Even chaos can have intention. 

But hey—the beauty of art is, it’s subjective.

[d.anders]

There are so many smart people critiquing this film on YouTube, and seriously criticizing David Koepp for the lousy story. They were hoping he would save the franchise, and bring the film closer to its original impact. One wonders if he or any of the production people watch this stuff. Everybody got handily paid, so maybe the criticism does not matter. This franchise does seem to be critic proof. I imagine some artists do care about integrity, but maybe money has a way of canceling that.

[Archangel]

And sometimes the critics are out of step with the masses. I’ve found that if a movie is getting a lot of positive reviews from critics, I end up thinking it’s blah—and vice versa. 

[BSR]

On 7/7/2025 at 7:19 PM, d.anders said:

I should have my head examined, again. I'm a sucker for dinosaurs.

I tried 4DX 3D for the first time. Won't be doing that again. For $35, the screen was too small, and the pain in my butt lasted for days. Moving seats is an interesting concept, very Disney, but the seat design needs a total overhaul. There is a thick metal bar that sits where the seat-back meets the seat, making it impossible for the butt to get comfortable. For a 2+ hour movie, it was pure torture on my pubis bone. Hated that.

The CGI is superb, the story not so much. It's far better than the most recent versions, but could have been so much better.

Scarlett Johansson and Jonathan Bailey have great chemistry. I could see them coming back for more.

Wow, did I get a bargain.  I also saw it in 4DX 3D, not because I wanted to see the movie (thanks to the reviews in this thread, I expected crap, and it was) but because I wanted the experience.  Since I went on a half-price day, my ticket came out to just about $8!  But movie tickets in general are cheaper in Buenos Aires.

First, the movie itself:  the script comes off like it was written by a 12yo, and not a particularly bright or creative one.  Just as the plots of musicals are nothing but a premise to string together song & dance numbers, the Jurassic Rebirth script is simply a means to connect the action sequences.  That might be enough for some viewers, but not for me.  The CGI looked decent enough, not cheap but not exactly amazing either.  I did like the 3 principal actors:  Scarlett Johansson, Jonathan Bailey, and Mahershala Ali.  They definitely deserve a movie more worthy of their talent.

My crush on Jonathan Bailey burns brighter than ever.  Even fully clothed, he’s still sexier than 99.9% of men in a jockstrap.  With a body like that, it’s downright criminal that Ed Skrein didn’t shuck some clothing.  When did big-budget Hollywood productions get so prudish?

As for the 4D experience, it was all a bit gimmicky.  I did appreciate the 3D, which looked a lot better than my only other 3D viewing experience, Thor back in 2011.  I was a bit freaked out by the squirting water, since I didn’t see nozzles anywhere and certainly didn’t expect it.  I thought the chair could have moved & shaken even more than it did, but perhaps they didn’t want to distract too much from the on-screen action.  After a while, I kind of forgot about the chair-shaking.  But at least my seat was comfy as hell.  I can’t imagine paying $35 for the same experience, with a borderline painful seat to boot.  4D was fun to do once, but I doubt I’ll bother again.  One thing for certain, I will never watch Jurassic Rebirth again, total dreck.

Edited July 16 by BSR
Wording

[BSR]

On 7/8/2025 at 1:28 AM, d.anders said:

Probably best not to watch this until after you see the movie. It is very entertaining, maybe more so than the movie. It's a hell of a lot shorter. There are quite a few hate videos on the movie, but this one is the best so far.

 

Thanks for that.  It was almost worth sitting through that shitshow of a movie to be able to appreciate this “Recrap” review, funny stuff.