+ Vegas_Millennial Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 49 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said: To be honest, I would never meet a provider who did not have his status explicitly written on his profile. I can understand having a day job and not wanting to be found out, but providing is a job as well, and IMO it’s my right as a potential client to know that very important piece of information before I contact someone. It’s like a restaurant having a menu without any prices- the prices are a crucial determinant as to whether the vast majority of customers can afford to eat there. Just assume everyone is positive and behave accordingly Rod Hagen 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luv2play Posted January 14 Share Posted January 14 On 1/10/2024 at 12:03 PM, Rod Hagen said: I think Michael Lucas made a good point about this long ago. It's fine if people want to disclose their HIV status, their vaccination status, and their medication-adherence status. Nevertheless, you should assume everyone might be positive with something infectious, because they could be, and choose to protect yourself, or not, accordingly. I’m surprised that Michael Lucas would say this. His company features many bb scenes on their films and I understand he will only hire people to perform in them who agree to be tested rigorously and be open with their results. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod Hagen Posted January 14 Share Posted January 14 19 hours ago, Luv2play said: I’m surprised that Michael Lucas would say this. His company features many bb scenes on their films and I understand he will only hire people to perform in them who agree to be tested rigorously and be open with their results. Oped Live in a World Where Everyone Has HIV WWW.ADVOCATE.COM Here's a sentence I never thought I would write: I'm in favor of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Not in the military, of course -- those days are behind us -- but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShortCutie7 Posted January 14 Share Posted January 14 (edited) On 1/12/2024 at 11:04 PM, Vegas_Millennial said: Just assume everyone is positive and behave accordingly “Behaving accordingly” would mean not reaching out… no preventative measure is 100% effective, even if you combine them. I once played with a guy who I knew to be undetectable… I was too scared to go anywhere near his cum, and my mind was racing for weeks after thinking that I could have caught something just from making out with him (what if we both had cuts in our mouths and he didn’t take his meds, etc). Different people have different thresholds for what amount of risks they’re willing to take… mine has essentially made me celibate for the last few years. ETA: I know this fear was completely illogical, but I can’t deny that I had it. Edited January 14 by ShortCutie7 ETA Luv2play 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luv2play Posted January 14 Share Posted January 14 Thanks for linking the article. It was written in 2011 long before Prep. He said in it he always used condoms when having sex with pos guys. Now he doesn’t unless he is only having sex with neg guy's. He must have to ask them if they are Neg. Otherwise he is on Prep, which I suspect is also the case. It would be interesting to hear his views today. Only to say a lot has changed in 13 years. And behavior must adapt to the new realities. In my case I always ask providers their HIV status and if I don’t get a straight answer I move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Vegas_Millennial Posted January 14 Share Posted January 14 54 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said: “Behaving accordingly” would mean not reaching out… no preventative measure is 100% effective, even if you combine them. I once played with a guy who I knew to be undetectable… I was too scared to go anywhere near his cum, and my mind was racing for weeks after thinking that I could have caught something just from making out with him (what if we both had cuts in our mouths and he didn’t take his meds, etc). Different people have different thresholds for what amount of risks they’re willing to take… mine has essentially made me celibate for the last few years. ETA: I know this fear was completely illogical, but I can’t deny that I had it. Well, you found your comfort level. For many, it's monogamy. Relying on the "negative" tests others is bogus, unless you are sure they did not sleep with anyone between their test and their time with you. You were probably safer with your undetectable friend... At least you both knew he was on the pills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Vegas_Millennial Posted January 14 Share Posted January 14 56 minutes ago, Luv2play said: In my case I always ask providers their HIV status Do you also ask them if they have slept with any one, without a condom, after their last STI test? If not, knowing that status from weeks/months ago is useless and just a false sense of security. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luv2play Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 I’m focused on their status but don’t quiz them on who they slept with and when. Similarly I don’t give them that info either altho I do say if we’re talking about such things is that my sexual partners for the last 20 years have all been escorts/ masseurs I don’t go to bathhouses or sleezy bars like I used to decades ago. Too old for that stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthOfTheBorder Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 I think it’s a mistake to interpret “regularly tested” or similar with any qualifiers as any sort of indicator about someone’s sexual health. STIs can be asymptomatic for some & still contagious. And it’s a numbers game - the more partners or encounters, the more likely STI. That said, vast majority of providers I’ve encountered are more fastidious about their sexual health than people on the apps. Which makes sense given their income will be affected if they are out of commission for a week or more. As a rule, I do not select providers who say “anything goes” and rarely select the “ask me”. We’ve all been seduced by porn images showing wild bb sex & that somehow gets translated in our brains that’s how it is. It’s a fantasy and isn’t realistic in todays environments. Ive had lots of peer pressure for bb sex and even some guys insist with all sorts of justifications & distorted logic. It’s not rocket science - at some point an STI will arrive and it will be uncomfortable & inconvenient. Not a life-changing event, but not something that’s worth the risk imo. Regular testing is important and should be routine for all who are sexually active - but that test is only valid on the day it was done. And fyi - the testing is not 100% accurate - things can be missed on routine testing if swabbing is not done everywhere. Condoms are not a big deal and easy to incorporate into a routine where it’s not even a question whether to use or not. Ultimately we are responsible for our own sexual health & choices - I like to think I make choices that are better for others too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ BenjaminNicholas Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 On 1/12/2024 at 8:44 PM, Vegas_Millennial said: I attribute it to my humble Appalachian upbringing. Are you from Jupiter Hollow? And more importantly, are you more of a Rose or a Sadie? (extra points if you know what I'm babbling about) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Vegas_Millennial Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 3 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said: On 1/12/2024 at 9:44 PM, Vegas_Millennial said: I attribute it to my humble Appalachian upbringing. Are you from Jupiter Hollow? And more importantly, are you more of a Rose or a Sadie? (extra points if you know what I'm babbling about) I'm definitely a Sadie That's some Big Business you're talking there + BenjaminNicholas 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ BenjaminNicholas Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 1 minute ago, Vegas_Millennial said: I'm definitely a Sadie That's some Big Business you're talking there + Vegas_Millennial 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 10 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said: Are you from Jupiter Hollow? And more importantly, are you more of a Rose or a Sadie? (extra points if you know what I'm babbling about) I'd not heard of it, sounds like a hoot! + Vegas_Millennial and + BenjaminNicholas 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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