Dangerous encounter

[marylander1940]

5 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

your point is well-taken & there are many clues in providers online profiles to use for vetting.  
we all have different levels of risk tolerance & mine is extremely low.  if I see any mention/references of pnp, party or anything goes, that’s an immediate NO for me.  I interpret that to mean the provider is risky with their own body and likely won’t treat mine any better.  It also tells me they have poor judgment  & likely someone I’d rather avoid.
I look for providers that have clear ground rules because it tells me they are running a business & serious about what they do.  Not somebody looking to make a quick buck who will agree to do anything

Pursuing unknown people online who will engage in an “abuse” scene is asking for trouble imo 
 

I agree with everything you said till you got to "clear ground rules". I understand a preference listed in their profiles when it comes to way to contact them but there are some profiles listing dos and don'ts that feel like reading the list of demands of a hostage negotiation.

I couldn't agree with you more when it comes to PNP being a huge turn off. I also don't contact providers who go on and off about business, they usually do it out of need or desperation. 

[SouthOfTheBorder]

3 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

I agree with everything you said till you got to "clear ground rules"

I could have said it better.  I meant things like available hours (not 24/7), an emphasis on safe sex or “no bareback”, if they prefer advance scheduling or same day only, hygiene comments, etc   I use it to gauge level of professionalism - and yes, demands in excess of reasonable are also a NO

the big ones for me are drug use and unsafe sexual practices.  not a prude, but a professional sex-worker just can’t afford the downtime due to inevitable sti if doing anything goes with all clients: translates to excessive risk-taking & poor judgment in my view 

[marylander1940]

5 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I could have said it better.  I meant things like available hours (not 24/7), an emphasis on safe sex or “no bareback”, if they prefer advance scheduling or same day only, hygiene comments, etc   I use it to gauge level of professionalism - and yes, demands in excess of reasonable are also a NO

the big ones for me are drug use and unsafe sexual practices.  not a prude, but a professional sex-worker just can’t afford the downtime due to inevitable sti if doing anything goes with all clients: translates to excessive risk-taking & poor judgment in my view 

Are you skeptical about PrEP? 

Downtime due to inevitable STDs does happen. Is unfortunate that some providers might continue being active while on recovery. Only once an escort I see regularly told me he got a positive test and asked me to get tested. He enjoyed his down time going to the museums in the mall, having friends over for dinner, etc. He told folks who were interested he wasn't available, saved their numbers and contacted them a week later he was back in the game. 

Unless you prefer oral with a condom you can still catch STDs. 

 

[SouthOfTheBorder]

15 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Are you skeptical about PrEP? 

pRep is for hiv only and that’s not the issue.   gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis & a variety of others are a concern for me.  drug resistant strains of all those stis are on the rise. my aim is to minimize my chances for sti exposure yet still engage with others sexually in a selective way

safer sex practices (or not) are strictly personal choices and all goes to an individual’s level of risk tolerance - hopefully based on some real data and sexual literacy.  
The rate of sti transmission for oral sex is historically very low.  The rate of sti transmission for unprotected anal sex is exponentially much higher - and that becomes unacceptable for me.

many people can have an active sti infection & are asymptomatic - they wouldn’t know they have it & can then innocently transit to the next person.
when evaluating sex-workers, I’ll go with the guys that prioritize their own health & well-being over everything else

 

Edited June 13, 2023 by SouthOfTheBorder

[SirBillybob]

2 hours ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

your point is well-taken & there are many clues in providers online profiles to use for vetting.  
we all have different levels of risk tolerance & mine is extremely low. 

My tolerance for poorly constructed ads and related  🚩 signalling is so low that, even post pandemic roughly the past 18 months, my ad-sourced trade experiences represented about 3/50-ish (approx 6%) of meets. Even then, I knew two from online erotica as well as the fairly long duration and consistent content of their escort ads; and knew one of those two quasi-socially from a distinctive in-person provider environment; and the third fellow I met for coffee and gave him a tip prior to hosting him later that day and he was required to demonstrate his identification with the safety net for him that he just showed it to me in-person and I did not acquire an archival representation of it. 

As a sidebar, I need to have also beat off to the images as a precursor ‘sample test run’, but that may be considered idiosyncratic.

For the decade pre-pandemic about 1/100 encounters sourced from a formal ad site, and I had a solid recommendation from back channeling on a message board. 

I am very content with the totality of lifetime hired arrangements. 

The topic is behavioural danger zones. Acting out risks and STI transmission potential both fit. I would probably prefer to have many many large denominations lifted from my billfold than require disease management.

Edited June 13, 2023 by SirBillybob

[SirBillybob]

The oral vs anal STI risk differential is difficult to tease out (outside of HIV) because most people engage in both acts prior to infection diagnosis and a large proportion of infections are acquired exclusively through oral route, for example, if the sample denominator is a cohort inclined to trade off (embrace) anal protection (condoms) for unprotected oral sex as a mode of HIV prevention strategy while satisfying desire. 

A large and amply duration-tracked 100% protected anal cohort stratified according to protected versus unprotected oral is required for adequate statistical sample power to assess oral STI transmission potential and estimate the effectiveness of protected oral sex against orally acquired STI. The research body may be small because condom benefit is a heuristic (a clinical given) particularly for fluid-vector infection.

The number of sex partners is key as obviously infection is associated with community prevalence. Think predictive oral transmission risk as associated with the job description and quantity of job hires. 

The unique trade context of orally vs anally sourced STI risk differential may override more general MSM population trends (desire and values-driven) such that protected oral sex in hires is more prudent and applicable due to risk hierarchies subject to desire and values in tandem with financial transaction … compensation for risk undertaken by providers.

Condom use may also inflate access to both insertive and receptive oral sex.

Exec Summary: I am oriented to protected oral sex with trade. 

Edited June 13, 2023 by SirBillybob

[blck37]

Been in a bad situation once - extorted by a provider. His ads was a walking red flag, but jr was doing the thinking. Sex was great actually but the event after was an amazing life lesson. Since then i will stay away from red flag ads ie those not well reviewed, not showing enough pics. Do your research well.

[tallclaude]

I agree. It’s difficult when junior does the thinking, but I have just enough worry in me to double and triple check reviews on this site before meeting a provider, even if it is just for a massage. 

[Anthony]

On 6/11/2023 at 1:06 PM, Woofiecmh said:

I’m so sorry this happened to you!  I think you should at least post a link to his profile.  This is a safe space and it would be a positive things to warn others.  I’d be afraid to post a negative review on RM for fear of harassment.  On the bright side you were at his hotel so you didn’t risk your home and had people around if things got bad.

I’ve had two really bad experiences in my time.  One was a hot guy I picked up late at night on the street in a known hustling spot who later pulled a gun on me and robbed me.  The other was a college kid who lived down the block who extorted me for money threatening to tell my bf at the time we hooked up.

How did you find those two men? 

On 6/13/2023 at 8:12 AM, FrankR said:

I can see why it would be a concern for you. You previously posted that you are looking to be: Roughly used by homophobic, abusive, selfish, conservative men

Your words. So yeah, approaching those men will certainly put me on edge too. If you are fishing in a shark tank, dont be surprised when you end up tussling with a shark. For most people, who hire well reviewed gay men who enjoy the company of other gay men, it is an outlier, not the rule.

Conservative men is what I am attracted to unfortunately. It's not a personal choice just like being gay isn't a choice. Engaging with gay men doesn't make you immune to threats of violence or harmful behavior. 

On 6/13/2023 at 8:31 AM, SouthOfTheBorder said:

your point is well-taken & there are many clues in providers online profiles to use for vetting.  
we all have different levels of risk tolerance & mine is extremely low.  if I see any mention/references of pnp, party or anything goes, that’s an immediate NO for me.  I interpret that to mean the provider is risky with their own body and likely won’t treat mine any better.  It also tells me they have poor judgment  & likely someone I’d rather avoid.
I look for providers that have clear ground rules because it tells me they are running a business & serious about what they do.  Not somebody looking to make a quick buck who will agree to do anything

Pursuing unknown people online who will engage in an “abuse” scene is asking for trouble imo 
 

Sorry to mention this, but from my personal experience the ones who are "running a business" tend to over charge and are literally doing it for money on the other hand the ones trying to make a "quick buck" and are doing this temporary might not care to over charge clients and just doing it until another opportunity pops up 

[Gymowner]

Hasnt anyone ever heard of doxy prep? If not, google it. This may be a huge game changer for lowering std/sti's

[+ FrankR]

8 minutes ago, Gymowner said:

Hasnt anyone ever heard of doxy prep? If not, google it. This may be a huge game changer for lowering std/sti's

You mean Doxy PEP, I hope. Doxy PreP is a very bad idea. Not recommended by any of the men’s health specialists I have spoken to.  They basically told me that if I find a doctor willing to prescribe that much Doxy, find a new doctor.