What's the funniest thing a client has done/said?

[Guest ript4hire]

Ok guys, just got back from a very fun and very hot session with a new

client. The sex was great, and just as importantly we really enjoyed

each other's company. He had me laughing a lot throughout the session,

but one comment stood out. We were discussing some of the escorts that

he has hired in the past and he was relating how much fun he's had.

Which led to this quote:

 

me: "So if you had to pick, who would be your favorite escort of all time?"

 

him: (softly and with a far off, dreamy look in his eyes) "Oh I don't

think I could. That's like asking a mother to pick her favorite child."

 

I dunno why (maybe it was the fact that he had my rock hard cock in his

hand when he said it) but that just totally tickled me!

 

So I ask you ... what are some of the funniest things that a client

has said to you? (and let's keep it friendly boys!)

 

Eric

[Rick Munroe]

The funniest thing a client ever did to me was when I had an appointment with a married older guy and halfway though the session, I realized it was actually my father with a fake moustache and glasses! He's such a practical joker. That was about 3 years ago and we still laugh about it all the time. It's our favorite story to re-tell. At Thanksgiving this year, it made my mother laugh so hard she almost choked on her turkey...especially at the part where we were choking each other's chicken. (Did I hear a collective groan?)

[SAdler]

Hmmmm ... more to come but given the board debates this one stuck out in my head when you asked:

 

(We had just sat down to dinner)

 

Me: ::sarcastically:: Now YOU don't mind if I keep my phone on vibrate now do you?

 

Him: As long as you don't mind me requiring you leave it in my lap and letting me call it often.

[Rick Munroe]

I thought it was your iPod that you kept on vibrate! }(

[+ purplekow]

>The funniest thing a client ever did to me was when I had an

>appointment with a married older guy and halfway though the

>session, I realized it was actually my father with a fake

>moustache and glasses! He's such a practical joker. That was

>about 3 years ago and we still laugh about it all the time.

>It's our favorite story to re-tell. At Thanksgiving this

>year, it made my mother laugh so hard she almost choked on her

>turkey...especially at the part where we were choking each

>other's chicken. (Did I hear a collective groan?)

 

 

Paging Dr. Freud Paging Dr. Freud.....

[SmallTownJohn]

I have two situations that come to mind

 

I saw a guy my first time/first day in L.A. who said he was "Tom Cruise's nanny" But if you asked him about Tom Cruise...he didn't have anything to say. Next day, I met "Tom Cruise's personal driver" and same thing happened...no can talk about TC. Met with an LA client I'd known before from his many travels on the East Coast who asked how my trip was going and I told him about the name dropping. Before I could get any further and actually drop the name, he jumps in "Honey, I bet they ALL say they know Tom Cruise...L.A. queens love to wear that shit out!"

 

A guy in Alabama squeezed my dick, jerked his hand away and almost flipped out repeating breathlessly, "Am I goin' to Hell?! Tell me I'm not goin' to Hell. Oh God, Please don't let me go to Hell!"

 

We had a little chill out time/talk period then things worked out just fine.

 

That one truly scared the shit out of me...

 

John

SmallTownJohn1@gmail.com

 

http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/search.asp?cmd=view&id=102838&Login=SmallTownJohn1

 

http://www.daddysreviews.com/review.php?who=small_town_john_atlanta

[+ Tygerscent]

On a recent date with a Client we were talking and he was sort of grumbling about the holidays. I commented that yes they can be stressful. He said he was praying for the holidays to be over. I replied..."Ahhh.... the power of prayer!" He said that he actually doesn't pray. "I See", I replied... to which he added... "It bags my nylons" Appearently a quote from some movie. I could NOT stop laughing!

Tyger!

http://www.tygerscent.biz

503.317.8055

http://www.daddysreviews.com/area.php?loc=63150&who=tyger_portland

men4rentnow.com tygerscent in Portland, Oregon

[+ purplekow]

>>said that he actually doesn't pray. "I See", I replied... to

>which he added... "It bags my nylons" Appearently a quote from

>some movie. I could NOT stop laughing!

> Tyger!

>http://www.tygerscent.biz

>503.317.8055

>http://www.daddysreviews.com/area.php?loc=63150&who=tyger_portland

>men4rentnow.com tygerscent in Portland, Oregon

 

 

"I never go to church, it bags my nylons"

 

was said by Jan Sterling in a Billy Wilder film, Ace in the Hole. The movie is film noire about a man trapped in a cave and the connivings of a reporter trying to get an exclusive on the story, and the reporter's willingness to delay the rescue to insure that he does.

 

The porno version was Face in the Hole, and it furthers the point that the reporter is willing to go a long way for this story.

[Bilbo]

There's also a musical about a somewhat similar situation, though I don't know if its the same episode.

[+ purplekow]

This is more of a humorous moment from Reader's Digest and this person is a client of a doctor not an escort.

Well dressed woman in her 80's sitting in the doctor's office in the cubicle next to mine. As we were both there for something minor, this was more or less a common area with a curtain between chairs. The woman informed the nurse she was there for her flu shot. The nurse returned with the shot and told the patient: There will be a small prick and it will be over in a minute. The dignified elderly woman responded: It sounds just like my honeymoon. I must admit to be caught eavesdropping as I couldn't control the laughter.

[+ deej]

Along those same lines....

 

A woman in her 80's is referred to a new doctor and she's impressed by his office and his staff as they show her to her examination room.

 

When the handsome, distinguished doctor comes in, she's sure she's met him before but she can't place it. They go through the normal checkup routine and finally it clicks. She's pretty sure he was in her high school graduating class.

 

As she's telling this story to her bridge club, she says she asked the handsome, distinguished-looking doctor whether he attended Jefferson High School and he said "yes I did!".

 

She responded "You were in my class!"

 

She told her bridge club "that ugly, wrinkled son-of-a-bitch asked me which class I taught!"