Is there a proper way?

[Greathands]

Was reading a comment by Rick Munroe on another board when he referred to a guy handing him an envelope. I've always simply handed the cash to the escort, usually folded in half. Hmmm ... is this rude? Would it be better to put into an envelope? Just curious what your thoughts are.

[DelawareGuy]

When I entertain an escort for the first time in my home, I leave an envelope on the dresser with his name on it. Most recognize what it's for and pick it up after getting dressed. If he doesn't, then I hand it to him. With my regulars, I just leave the cash laying out.

[Guest skrubber]

I just hand them cash. After a hard workout it seems unfair to make them open an envelope.

[OneFinger]

I've never used an envelope - especially with first-time meetings. I make sure the fee is visible on the nightstand, coffee table, or some other easily observed place. I always use large bills and fan them out so that there's no question it's all there.

 

It may be tacky but I've never had an escort refuse to take it or act offended when they saw it. ;-)

[Guest YFSC]

>Was reading a comment by Rick Munroe on another board when he

>referred to a guy handing him an envelope. I've always simply

>handed the cash to the escort, usually folded in half. Hmmm

>... is this rude? Would it be better to put into an envelope?

> Just curious what your thoughts are.

 

I think there are two separate things here: handing the money to him, and using an envelope or naked cash.

 

The envelope on the dresser ploy as mentioned by DelawareGuy is good, but I also think the cash on the dresser ploy cited by OneFinger is good. So I think it's OK either to use an envelope or not when you can leave the fee somewhere visible for him to pick up. That works better when you are hosting, but not as well if you go to him, obviously.

 

I'm not fond of handing him cash, though, and would always try to use an envelope in that situation. That's a personal opinion, and I don't think there is an approved "proper way" in the US, but it does seem a little tacky to me to hand him a bunch of banknotes, and, especially, to pull out a wallet and start counting them out. I always prepare the correct amount in advance and have it separate from other money, usually in an envelope. I don't seal it, but I tuck the flap in (so skrubber can relax; I'm not making the guy do extra work to open it). And his name should be on the envelope. For a first time, and especially if the amount is large, I may well invite him to count it. Ususally he declines, saying that's not necessary. And don't stuff the envelope with 5s 10s and 20s. Use large bills so that a quick glance inside can verify that it's all (or at least almost all) there.

 

That's what I would say about the US. But when outside the US (or maybe outside North America) you should be aware that in many countries it is considered very rude indeed to hand somebody "naked cash" (except, of course, in a business environment over a store counter or equivalent). That's not just for escorting, it applies to anything. It should be in an envelope, or at least inside a piece of paper folded over in half. And it applies to leaving the money for him to find as well as handing it to him. No, he won't refuse it if you don't use an envelope, but you may well be creating a negative impression and perpetuating a negative stereotype of the American who throws his money around and thinks he can buy anything with it.

 

Think back... did you ever get given some money by a relative for your birthday or for Xmas when you were a kid? You probably did. Did you get handed a bunch of greenbacks, or was it in an envelope, probably even with a card or a note? Yes, your allowance was handed to you as naked cash, but probably not a gift. I think the same considerations apply here.

[guptasa1]

Usually an envelope for something in person. Being completely honest here, after I see an escort initially, I actually prefer to pay in advance and just forget about it in person (if I feel that's warranted - not always the case). But obviously you have to REALLY trust someone to do that, though there really are situations where it works out. I guess part of it is I like having that trust. Additionally, it avoids the hassle of carrying that much cash and worrying about it. *shrugs*

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

An Escort Answers

 

There is no proper way. Except for the comment regarding different cultural customs in other countries, cash would be fine, envelopes would be fine, cards are always a nice touch. In some cases, escorts used services such as Paypal or have requested partial or full payment as a deposit on longer sessions such as overnights, so the payment has already been arranged.

 

If you are particularly comfortable with a particular way, use this. If you have any concern, advise the escort in advance: your fee will be inside an envelope, which you are welcome to count while with me, if you feel it is necessary; or, your fee will be left out on the dresser so that you may take it when we are done, etc.

 

 

http://www.gaydar.co.uk/francodisantis

[Guest zipperzone]

>I'm not fond of handing him cash, though, and would always try

>to use an envelope in that situation. That's a personal

>opinion, and I don't think there is an approved "proper way"

>in the US, but it does seem a little tacky to me to hand him a

>bunch of banknotes, and, especially, to pull out a wallet and

>start counting them out.

 

I don't understand the trepidation some guys have about handing the escort cash. I usually have the bills folded in half and say to the escort while giving him a good-bye hug, "have you a pocket here for this? and while saying that, I slip it into his jeans pocket. If he wants to take it out and count it, I'm not insulted, but I find that they usually don't.

 

I personally feel that leaving it on the dresser for them to pick up is the tacky option. I don't feel an escort should have to pic it up. It's almost like saying there is something unclean about the transaction and all parties are trying to ignore the payment part.

 

You owe the guy money - just hand it to him for fuck's sake!

[+ Cash4Trash]

A Brazilian I see frequently is offended by cash and insists on

an envelope. He also asks that I put it in his pocket.

 

Another "cultural" consideration is that I open the door when

he leaves. If I open the door it means that all went well and

he's welcome back. If he were to open the door it would mean

that the evening had not gone well and we shouldn't expect to

see each other again.

 

I, for one, enjoy learning different customs and trust me -

this guy is always welcome back.

[Steven_Draker]

>Another "cultural" consideration is that I open the door when

>he leaves. If I open the door it means that all went well and

>he's welcome back. If he were to open the door it would mean

>that the evening had not gone well and we shouldn't expect to

>see each other again.

 

That's interesting ... In Europe is the opposite. Usually the guest opens the door when he leaves.

If the host opens the door on the way out it's considered rude and it means "you'd better leave now".

[Guest RandyRon]

At the end of the session, I simply give the escort the cash (in large bills). In reply, the escort usually gives me a nice kiss. If it's at my place I keep the fee in the bedside table, otherwise it's in my billfold. I also ask him if that's the correct amount (fees vary with the escort considerably and frankly I tend to be forgetful).

 

I don't use an envelope or a card. This isn't a gift. It's his fee which he earned so why not simply pay the man? As a side note, I have never been ask for the money up front, maybe I have an honest face?

[Steven_Draker]

Ooops almost forgot about the money ...

 

YFSC wrote: "But when outside the US (or maybe outside North America) you should be aware that in many countries it is considered very rude indeed to hand somebody "naked cash" (except, of course, in a business environment over a store counter or equivalent)."

 

Even though I agree with YFSC in fact from personal experience only 10-15 % of the clients use an envelope instead of "naked cash". This percentage is the same for Europe and the US.

 

Personally I don’t mind cash and I don’t mind an envelope. Use whatever suits you better and I’m sure your escort would be happy with either one.

 

Steven Draker ~

[Mikeyz7]

It always amazes me the topics that arise in this forum. I had never thought about this one. Given the many problems in the world this is a very minor issue -- but still interesting. I usually prefer to see escorts at their place. I always leave the cash folded in a visable place when I arrive (no envelope). It always amazes me how it discretely disappears before it leave.

[AaronScottDC]

>Personally I don’t mind cash and I don’t mind an envelope. Use

>whatever suits you better and I’m sure your escort would be

>happy with either one.

 

I agree. You can give me the cash in an envelope, in a card, on a silver platter, wrapped up in a pretty little bow, stuffed into my pocket, or just plain naked bills. It doesn't matter to me.

 

Aaron Scott DC

http://www.erados.com/AaronScottDC

http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/aaronscottdc.html

[marc anthony]

Well, since tipping and longer appointments are my habits...

 

From a practical standpoint, I almost always end up handing escorts money. That is because I tend to like to "tip" when I am very happy. This is another commonly debated point... but since I do it, I really can't prepare the envelope ahead of time. I also tend to hire for longer appointments, so it is not practical for me to leave money out on the table.

 

Because this is what I usually do, I end up doing it for pretty much any kind of appointment, even quickies.

 

In the end, whether it is good manners or not, because of my own preferences, the escort ends up getting handed cash. Very few count it.. and most smile broadly.

 

:-)

[+ deej]

RE: Well, since tipping and longer appointments are my habits...

 

The only time I've used an envelope was for a weekend engagement when I knew in advance it would be a hectic weekend, with lots of running around. I didn't want to accidentally confuse the "play money" with "walking around money". I could see myself all too easily reaching into my wallet in a dark bar and pulling money from the wrong wad. (Or worse, dropping it, or having it lifted.)

 

I solved the tip issue by taking the boy shopping instead, which he actually seemed to prefer ANYWAY. ;-) (And we almost ended up having a 3-way with the cute salesman in the dressing room. }( If only the manager hadn't come back from lunch early!)

[tedbear]

RE: Well, since tipping and longer appointments are my habits...

 

I don't think I've ever used an envelope. I usually hand my date the money as he's getting ready to leave. (OK, there was that one time when we went to dinner afterward and I gave him a lift back to his hotel afterwards. When we pulled up he asked, "Aren't you forgetting something? During our "date" I had gotten so comfortable with him, I had totally forgotten the true nature of our evening! I counted out the cash in the cab and gave him the money and a kiss before he got out. I'm sure the cab driver knew exactly what was happening!)

 

And years ago, there was one guy (Tim/Chicago?) who I saw fairly frequently after celebrating Super Bowl in my bed the first time we met. We really hit it off and we would usually continue making out afterwards, even while waiting for the elevator to come. Somewhere in that final makeout session I would always slip the cash into his front pocket and follow up with a really good grope. I don't think I would be comfortable doing that with everyone, but with him it was a real turn on for both of us. He was one of two escorts who called me later and wanted to come by for a freebie. }( We saw each other several times (usually on a cash basis) until he moved to San Francisco.

[Epigonos]

As someone who first started hiring escorts about two years ago and continues to do so, with some frequency, I find this question somewhat puzzling. It appears to me to be more of a client issue than an escort issue. My experience thus far is that the escorts I hire naturally expect to be paid of the services they provide and are not in the least embarrassed about recieving money for those services. I have to believe that some of us (clients) are still hung up with the idea of paying for escort services and so we try to camouflage the process. We openly pay for services all the time without the least embarrassment to our auto mechanics, our doctors and our lawyers. So what is the big deal with paying escorts for the services they provide. About the only difference is that we frequently pay other service providers with credit card or check while we pay escorts with cash.

I, for one, hire only escorts I have throughly reserarched on this site. Thus I am assured that they are honest and realiable businessmen. When I spend an afternoon or evening with Steven/Portland/San Francisco, Todd/Los Angeles or Jaime Lee/Miami whether at my residence, my hotel or their hotel I present them, without embarrassment, with an envelope (with their name printed on it) with cash (large bills) inclosed right upfront and suggest that I will not be offended if they would like to count the money -- thus far none of these guys has ever done so even on our first meeting. I only use an envelope because it is a convenient way to carry the money for both myself and the escort.

Please excuse this long diatribe but I sincerely believe that this issue should be a NONISSUE.

[marc anthony]

I have to believe

>that some of us (clients) are still hung up with the idea of

>paying for escort services and so we try to camouflage the

>process. We openly pay for services all the time without the

>least embarrassment to our auto mechanics, our doctors and our

>lawyers.

 

You pay your doctor and lawyer with C-notes right after your appointment?

 

hehe

 

:7

[Guest TommyTam]

I don't like envelope, one time a guy hand me an envelope, and it was $100 less that what I ask for

Tommy Tam

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[Lewis H]

I vary payment styles depending on the escort (as mentioned about European escorts and how they may view the transaction more delicately, Laurent from Paris prefers the envelope out in the open from the beginning of the session, so that 'no mention of it need be said' afterwards...although that posed unique problems in the end!). I have no qualms handing them the bills directly, usually enjoining them to count the sum just to make sure I didn't miscount (I usually have a wad of $20 bills since I often run to the ATM machine shortly before a session).

 

Additionally, I sometimes like to use the old way of tipping for payment: I fold/roll up the bills (usually counted while the escort is in the bathroom cleaning up, but I don't hide the fact if they come out in the middle of my counting), and shake their hands, handing them the payment as I say "thank you." The bills are indeed 'naked,' but they're kept somewhat hidden, even if the two of us are the only ones in the room. It's all perception of discretion,, I guess.

 

That said, I find it ironic that we should debate the issue of the 'delicacy' of payment, when one considers the far-from-delicate nature of the service that the payment is for!

[Rick Munroe]

>when one considers the

>far-from-delicate nature of the service

 

Au contraire, le w-h-o-r-e. When entering a tight hole or when going down on a sensitive cock, we should always remember that delicacy is the key. ;-)

[Lewis H]

>Au contraire, le w-h-o-r-e. When entering a tight hole or

>when going down on a sensitive cock, we should always remember

>that delicacy is the key. ;-)

 

Of course, I was referring to *social* delicacy and politesse, but, also, yeah.

[Karl-G]

Side note. On two different occasions with boys I see regularly in Montreal, they asked me to please not pay them in large bills as they found it more difficult to cash/spend in stores - they preferred $20s. This is obviously not for longer rendez-vous.

[+ deej]

I can see that being an issue. But context is everything.

 

Several times, I've helped friends who were traveling and had absolute wads of 20's from seeing several clients by going to my bank and converting them to large bills. They're easier to carry for the "on the road" guys. (Many banks charge a hefty service fee to do this for non-customers, if they'll do it at all.)