ok...stood up....or playing games?

[Guest roninx]

I'm sitting here at the computer bored...after being stood up by a client...I think. This guy called me 3 days ago (he is an older gentleman) and also emailed me and we spoke about setting up an appointment for either tonight or Monday morning.

 

He sounded nice on the phone. He initially called twice and I missed his call...he never left a telephone and his phone had caller ID block so I never knew where he was calling from.

 

We set it for this evening around 11PM he wanted possibly 2 hours. OK so this afternoon he calls and leaved a message on my cell telling me he has arrived and his room number around 1:30 PM (he already told me which hotel he was staying at earlier). I told him earlier that I would be available around 6 PM.

 

AT 6 PM i call him back at the hotel (by the way the caller ID for the hotel was on my phone, he also left the hotel telephone in the message and it matched the phone # on my "missed call list") Well a guy answered the phone and I asked.. is this so and so and he says no so i ask him is this room # so and so and he says yes.

 

Well I think maybe I wrote down the wrong hotel room. I listen to the message twice and it is the right #. Well I only have the guys first name so I can't call the hotel to ask which room he is in without a last name and I don't think he has a cell phone so I can't call him at it (even if he had one he never gave it to me) So i waited from 6 PM to 11PM and he never called.. ( I checked my email in case he emailed me and nothing)

 

I'm not sure if the guy stood me up or is just playing an elaborate game.

 

Just thought I'd ask to see if any escorts have experienced something similiar. It is about 11:25PM so if he should contact me later I will post an update.

[Rick Munroe]

>Just thought I'd ask to see if any escorts

>have experienced something similiar.

 

[h1]ALL THE TIME.[/h1] I've been doing this for 3 years & you'd think I'd be able to spot the fakes at this point but I still get fooled. I don't know if it's a case of them getting turned on enough just by the calls & emails, or if they really intend to meet but chicken out, or I-don't-know-what-da-fuck (I'm watching Sopranos). It's a real pain in the ass (not the kind I like).

[btmstudnyc]

Could you have busted him?

 

You might have called the right hotel and number...It could have been is boyfriend or traveling companion from work....and things get mixed up on his end....and he couldn't get free...damn..why do I always give people the benefit of the doubt.

 

JIM

[+ Lucky]

cuz you are a nice guy, Jim!

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Games

 

One of the reasons the Twinks and so many of my other friends are often annoyed with me is that I spend a great deal of time on line or on the telephone with prospective clients. I believe this is why I am able to convert so many inquiries on AOL into actual clients. The last few months I have been very busy and well over 2/3 of my clients are either repeats on AOL or new clients on AOL. However, I will have to admit it takes a lot of time and work. One of the lessons I have learned the hard way is to INSIST on a call back number. I no longer agree to "tentative" appointments without one.

 

If the client declines, I advise them that I am more than happy to see them IF it turns out I am available once they have checked into their hotel room and decide to firm things up. Often they have telephoned and I have regretfully informed them that I have other plans. Even then, I am often nice and refer them to other guys but I have stopped jumping and cancelling other appointments for someone who is essentially not planning very well and not respecting that my time may be important.

 

I broke up with someone because that annoyed him and, rightfully so. I also think some clients do this as a power dynamic and unfortunately, some escorts may not be in the position to decline work as I sometimes am. Even were I not in the position to decline work, more and more I have come to conclude that my self respect and how I wish my clients to view and treat me matters more than short term personal financial gain.

 

As with department stores dealing with window shoppers, there is not a solution to these types of situations that will always make everyone happy but trying to minimize problems before they occur is your best bet.

 

A watched clock never boils.

[Guest roninx]

RE: Games

 

By the way the guy never called last night or this morning. When this first happened, I always give the person the benefit of the doubt but the more I think about the more I think the guy might have just been playing games.

 

Maybe he was coming here anyway and just decided to have some fun at an escorts expense. Who knows what some people are thinking.

 

The kicker was he called me 3-4 times and sounded very nice... he seeme like he was looking forward to it. As I said he was an older gentlemen so I hope nothing serious happened. Well in any case I emailed him just in case. He should be back to his location by this evening.

 

Like I said earlier this job is definitely interesting!

[nate_sf]

I agree with the others that this happens more times than I'd like -- particularly with clients staying in hotels. First, to give the benefit of the doubt, a lot of guys travelling into town and staying in hotels are here on business, and sometimes their schedules can be unpredicatable, such as if all of a sudden they've had their meetings changed around or have to have dinner with a business associate. This has happened to me a few times, and I think for the most part it's usually the truth, since on a business trip you have to answer to business obligations first. One guy felt so bad that he offered to pay me for my time anyway, which I declined since I thought he was sincere. However, I've learned that hotel bookings with out of town clients have a tendency to fall through, so I'm not too surprised or disappointed if it falls through.

 

Having said all that, I think when people come into town it's also not unusual to call and set up tentative appointments with several escorts, in case someone flakes. This of course is flakey behavior itself, but I know it happens.

 

I think the best way to screen for this is to get the first and last name to call back at the hotel (with the assurance discretion), with the understanding that you need the full name to call back, and possibly even enter the hotel. If the guy's serious, he'll give it to you; if he doesn't give you his name, he might not be serious, and it's best to drop it there.

[chrismac]

>Having said all that, I think when people come into town it's

>also not unusual to call and set up tentative appointments

>with several escorts, in case someone flakes. This of course

>is flakey behavior itself, but I know it happens.

 

Nate - I think you hit the nail on the head there with clients from out-of-town. A friend of mine and I traveled to NYC for a weekend a couple of years ago. He lived in a small town in California; not a place he could hire any escorts for lack of same. So he was excited by the number of escorts available in New York. We each had separate rooms, and he told me he was going to hire an escort that evening after we had returned from a Broadway show. Due to his unfamiliarity with the whole escorting business, he didn't even know where to look. Although I was very new to escorting and male sex in general, I knew of the rentboy site and advised him to check it before we went to the show. I didn't yet know of this site, but figured Rentboy was better than newspaper ads.

 

Anyway, he phoned a few escorts that evening and left his hotel and room number, and a possible time to meet. He waited a while for each one to respond back, but due to the last-minute nature of his enquiries, naturally he didn't get any responses before we left for the show. When we returned, still nobody had called back to leave a message, which for New York was a bit unusual. So he began calling again and this time (it was about 10:30pm) he got three call-backs, and didn't know what to do. It would have been easier if the guys would have just picked up the phone and answered in person, instead of letting the voicemail pick up. So he had to call back and cancel two of the three - which to those guys probably seemed flakey.

 

Now, before going out of town and hiring, I'm sure he would set things up in advance. But this brings up another problem: some escorts don't want to commit in advance, others insist upon it. So the client is sometimes left a bit frustrated as to the proper procedure.

 

There is truth on both sides of the argument.

[ad rian]

>Anyway, he phoned a few escorts that evening and left his

>hotel and room number, and a possible time to meet. He waited

>a while for each one to respond back, but due to the

>last-minute nature of his enquiries, naturally he didn't get

>any responses before we left for the show. When we returned,

>still nobody had called back to leave a message, which for New

>York was a bit unusual. So he began calling again and this

>time (it was about 10:30pm) he got three call-backs, and

>didn't know what to do. It would have been easier if the guys

>would have just picked up the phone and answered in person,

>instead of letting the voicemail pick up. So he had to call

>back and cancel two of the three - which to those guys

>probably seemed flakey.

 

I don't see why an escort should regard it as flaky in the circumstances that you suggest as opposed to the one posited in the original post. On your facts, the client called a few escorts, made no contact and no commitment. I don't feel any compunction about declining an escort if the callback comes after I have made other plans. Nor would I feel it necessary to reply to a callback from an escort after I have made other plans unless I wanted to see that escort again which is probably not the case since I regard escorts who cannot be reached easily as a red flag showing either excessive work or little professionalism.

[VaHawk]

I think it would be common courtesy to call back and let the escort know that you have made other plans, since in this case the client called and left a message to be called back. In return, if the escort makes other plans before the client calls back, then he should call the client again and let him know he is no longer available. What do you consider easy to reach by the way? Wouldn't you be upset if you were with an escort and your time was continuously interrupted by him taking phone calls? Would it be an indicator that he overbooks if was with another client and not immediately available or how would you know that he was not doing something else besides escorting that prevented an immediate call back?

 

It would be interesting to see a survey of how many times the client was a noshow versus how many times the escort was a noshow. As far as booking an out of town escort, I assume the best way would be email contact a week or more in advance, confirmed via email before departure and a phone confirmation upon arrival. It seems this was the case in the original post and only the noshow client could tell us what happened. At least the escort followed thru and gave the client the benefit of the doubt and was actually concerned that something could have happened to the dude. Noshows are a part of the business on both sides and I really don't agree with either the client having to give his full legal name (would the escort?) - what if he came to the hotel and made a scene if you cancelled (try explaining that one to the boss!) or that many clients get off playing some kind of power game (what's the game and what's the thrill?).

[jackhammer91406]

As most have said, it goes with the territory, but it is a two way street. See 'no show" review that got me into all the trouble yesterday. People have lives, and s___t happens. I can only say, hopefully there is a phone working somewhere when the stuff comes down, so people can call one another and give a heads up (you should excuse the expression).

[+ deej]

>I think it would be common courtesy

 

Common courtesy shares a problem with common sense: neither is common at all. x(

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Escort Versus Clients

 

It really should not be a question of whether clients or escorts comprise more "no shows." As the escorts who have responded here have indicated, we have all been subject to clients who did not arrive for a scheduled appointment or call to cancel. Likewise, as the entire "NO SHOW ESCORT" section here indicates, it has also happen to clients.

 

As Deej points out, this is partially a function of modern culture where we devalue one another and believe our needs, our priorities and our time is of more importance. It is the same impetus that drives people to jump lines, cut drivers off in traffic, run red lights, go through an express line with a check or excessive items, et. al.

 

I will not pretend to be perfect and state I have never run a red light or felt annoyed or irritated when I was delayed, particularly while walking on a sidewalk behind a party of three who are walking in tandem side by side.

 

However, I believe we would all be better off in every situation we find ourselves to be in if we engaged in behavior as we would wish others to engage us in.

[langster]

First of all, let me say I'm feel for the escort who got stood up. I have always made plans either when traveling or seeing someone locally atleast 2 to 3 weeks in advance and as far in advance as 3 months. Some escorts will not go out as far 3 months if I am a new client but repeats usually do as they know me. I always plan ahead and make all the arrangements well ahead of time and think that the escort appreciate's this. Plans do change and shit happens but communication IS the main vehicle to use if something changes. Most escorts will give you a phone number to reach them and there is always email. I agree with Franco about talking and getting to know the client as much as possible before they meet for the first time. Not only does it help with the arrangements but they get to know each other a little and it always helps me to be not as nervous when we meet for the first time. But I do know there are some people out there who set up appointments with no intention of ever meeting and as Rick says even after years of escorting, it is hard to pick those guys out. I have had some wonderful experiances with escorts all over the U.S. and will continue to do so and hope the ocassion never arises were I have to cancle or stand up an escort.

[Samai139]

I am very reluctant to post my "no show" problem, but to try and avoid future frustrations, here goes.

I recently travelled to Montreal--six hours driving from home--and had arranged a meeting with a guy I had been with twice before. It was not only Christmas Holiday, but his birthday fell on one of the three days I was going to be there. When I arrived at my hotel, I called "X" and told him I was in Montreal and my hotel room number. He called back eventually, we set up a time to meet and he showed up, late, but everything went well. I had brought him a couple of gifts, small, for Christmas, and one for his birthday. After the great time on the first night, I asked if I could see him the next night--which I had suggested in our e-mail arrangments, and the telephone call. So when he said he would come between 9 and 9:30 the next night, I was happy and unprepared for what happened. He never showed up. No phone call, nothing. I sat in my hotel room all evening and waited. The next day, I called and left a message on his machine to please call me, that's all, no questions, nothing. He didn't return the call.

My question: Did I do something wrong or is there a problem/are there problems I am not seeing? I don't want to jump to the conclusion that it's all his fault, and yet, I am very, very hurt, that he would treat me with so little courtesy.

I would appreciate any advice/tips/anything from any of the escorts reading this. I am not "cheap" in paying, I don't smell, I brush my teeth and use deodorant, I am in good shape, even though I am balding--and he seemed "into" our encounters before--but hey, he could just be an academy award level actor. I am trying to keep a balanced perspective here, but it hasn't been easy.

When I got home, I sent him a short e-mail message asking if I could call him, and have received no reply.

[+ Lucky]

Boy what an unfortunate situation. My guess is that you did nothing wrong but since you don't want to lay all the blame on him, then you might consider whether you were coming on too strong or getting too amorous. Maybe he didn't know how to back off.

Even if that is true, it is so hard to believe that an escort would not have the balls to politely cancel an appointment. Even more so given that he had just seen you and taken your gifts.

I hope you can move on from this soon.