TIME TO MEET THE PARENTS???

[Cooper]

I would be interested in hearing from escorts and members on weather or not it's a good idea to introduce your steady escort to your family.

 

I've been seeing the same escort for about a year and have taken a few extended trips with him... My sister has invited me and a guest to join her on a vacation and I would like to invite him. However, once before I had invited this escort to a family gathering and he said he "wasn't ready to meet the parents". When I suggested a trip with my sister, he avoided answering.

 

My sister is kewl with my life style and has met another escort of mine. She treated him like family and gave us our privacy when we wanted it. I don't see this as being a problem, but I'm looking at it from my point of view and not his. What issues might he be dealing with in making a decision and, if he says again "I'm not ready..." should I just drop it or make more of it?

 

Thanks for any helpful advice you can offer.

"Cooper"

[Guest dstud4hire]

wow, what an unusal arrangement and a refreshingly honest approach your have with you family. I applaud you, however, I will admit, as honest and open as I want to be abt my life, I nonetheless have to admit that I too would be uncomfortable.

 

Several reasons I guess:

1) People have an enormous judgement on escorts. Even if your sister or parents are completely able to deal with it, from the escorts point of view, there is always (at least for me) that thought in my mind that they are judging the situation, and look at me as simply someone for paid sex. If I am hired by a guy for a trip, it is very important to me that if I am introduced to colleagues, or anyone he may meet while we are together, that I am seen as a friend. I don't want people just equating a dollar bill to my persona, which invariably, that is what is going on. Granted, I'm only a part time escort, leading somewhat a double life and I'm very proud of the pleasure I have given others, but woild still be uncomfortable in that situation.

 

2) For some of us, you have to remember, we look at the time we spend with our clients as a wonderful venture together, for however long we are together. With many of my clients even, I consider friends, however, meeting the family would be crossing the line to me, as there again, it's more of a relationship type thing, and he could be uncomfortable with that. You might not realize it, but he very well has a life outside of escorting. He could be dating someone, interested in someone else on a romantic level, or just enjoying the relationship/business side of it as it is....that may be a part of his life he might not open up to you on, and frankly, I wouldn't ask either, because as long as you two enjoy each other's company, why rock the boat, why find out a truth you don't really want to know....keep on living that nice fantasy of being a guy you really like and want, and have a great time with.

 

3) Have you considered that perhaps you might be falling for the escort on a greater level. Though tis is ok, I think other threads on tihs system have explored that, and rarely do they meet with success. Perhaps he is feeling that, and wants to keep that distance.

 

4) Finally, even if he is 100% on the same page as you emotionally, meeting any family is always a nerve racking experience. He may be right there with you in how he feels about you , and your time together, but is truly not ready to spend time with the family yet.

 

Good luck to you.

[Guest sdmuscl4hire]

huh?

[Guest Hole_4_Hire]

Cooper,

 

I'm honestly don't know whether to take your posts seriously or if you're just trying hard to "spice up" the message boards.

 

You've posted about loaning money to escorts, giving them birthday gifts (and expecting simlar in return), escorts accepting drinks from others while on a date with you, etc., etc., etc.

 

Now you want us to give you advise on introducing an escort to the family?!?!? Your view of reality and mine are vastly different. I believe I have great relationships with my clients but it is a professional business deal. Sure, over the years I've come to know my clients very well. When appropriate I inquire about some personal parts of their life that they've shared with me. But there is absolutely no expectation that I'll become involved in their personal life.

 

I can't imagine an instance when I'd feel comfortable meeting the family of a client. I really think that's crossing a professional line and I wouldn't do it. I've actually had long-time clients who have died and wouldn't even think of showing up at the visitation or funeral to meet the family. (However, I do make an anonomous donation in their honor to a local charity.)

 

If you were my client, I'd put a quick end to our client/escort relationship because you're setting off my "stalker alarm". :-(

[+ Lucky]

At first, I didn't take Cooper seriously and he was rather nasty to me about it. However, as his posts continue, I find I enjoy them more, especially the ones about the Gaiety.

Life is weird, and we all do things differently. I wouldn't take an escort to meet my family, but I certainly wish there was one around last week when I was home!

[Rick Munroe]

>If I am hired by a guy for a trip, it is very important to

>me that if I am introduced to colleagues, or anyone he may

>meet while we are together, that I am seen as a friend. I

>don't want people just equating a dollar bill to my persona,

 

Not me. I think it would be kind of hot to have his friends or family know I'm his whore. I really don't care what anyone thinks about me...despite my self-deprecating jokes, I know I'm not really trash, and I treat everyone with respect. If they look down upon me, that's not my problem.

 

Also...when I'm travelling with a client, I think it's kind of obvious what the situation might be...especially if there's a big age difference. It's fine with me!

[Guest 7Zach]

well, if he doesn't do it, another answer is that there are 24 long hours in a day, and how much fun he'll think it is in meeting ur family and hanging out. even if i were dating, i would take a pass as long as possible.

[alanalt]

>if he says again "I'm not ready..." should I

>just drop it or make more of it?

>

 

I never try to push an escort into an 'uncomfortable' situation and certainly from what you describe his reactions to be, he's uncomfortable and yes, you should "just drop it"!

 

However, I think this is only a symptom of a larger issue. From my perspective, you are seriously blurring the (very) different roles of escort and boyfriend/partner/husband. It's easy to do (I 'fell' for an escort myself not long ago and fortunately he handled it well -- 'cause I certainly didn't ;-)) and I can look back at the situation as a valuable life-lesson.

 

Cooper, maybe I'm wrong about this and I'm transferring my own experience on to you. You're the only one who can answer that. I do think you need to step back and really think through your relationship with this escort. And if it's more than "living that nice fantasy of being a guy you really like and want, and have a great time with" (as Gabriel put it), then you need to think about that too.

 

Regards,

 

Alan

 

PS - I feel some sympathy for Hole_4_Hire's point-of-view. True or not, you must admit that you've been posing some interesting situations...:-)

[Guest jon guy]

Cooper - has your favourite taken out life-insurance? Personal joke, but your family must be very cool in order for you even to think about making the move. it is indeed easy to forget the level of prejudice within wider society against escorting which is something which is easily forgotten when seen from within the protective walls of the 'industry' and supportive sanctuaries such as this.

 

there is certainly a crossing of a taboo to be breached here - of a similar, if slightly more exaggerated variety as the comparatively 'simple' lets meet the boyfriend fiasco.

 

I can relate though, as someone whose recently made what i now consider to be the mistake of coming out as an escort to my parents. Again my brother is 'cool' . he says that you have to do what you have to do to get by - bless him - practical as ever. My mother, however, could only condone prostitution (which lets face it is how escorting is regarded) if i were destitute and bringing up a family. in other words as a last resort. After a couple of months of painful silence, we are beginning to build a relationship again.

 

perhaps this is a bigger thing than what you are suggesting - and i don't want to hijack your space. Personally, i would imagine that your family would be concerned for you - and concerned that you were not being taken for a ride by your escorting friend. I feel that unless they are very enlightened, they would inevitably view your escort friend as something of a 'gold digger' and exploiter which is probably not fair to him - but would suggest to me that unless you have spent some time priming them, it would inevitably cast the escort in a negative light. When i have been introduced to the partners of my clients, the typical response rather than the basic jealousy which you might imagine has instead been concern for the welfare my client. We are unfortunately often viewed with suspicion, which is why i'd suggest proceeding carefully and if you would like your parents to meet somebody who is obviously important to you, it might be better initially to introduce him as a friend or colleague and leave it at that.

 

Take out insurance!

 

x jon. http://www.jonguy.com

[Cooper]

>If you were my client, I'd put a quick end to our

>client/escort relationship because you're setting off my

>"stalker alarm".

 

OUT TO HOLE 4 HIRE:

 

I don't know what your point was for responding to my post, but one thing you proved to me is that an escort can be just as CRUEL to a client as FFF has been to escorts.

 

I posted looking for advice and have received nothing but criticism (except for Gabriel, who I personally thanked). This really is a nice message to send to patrons looking for help. WHO, in their right mind, would ever want to seek out advice for this board. Just look at the treatment I've received.

 

I'm out here...

[Guest Hole_4_Hire]

>At first, I didn't take Cooper seriously...

 

Lucky, I trust your judgement and perhaps he really is serious in his posts. I've just never experienced things like he has and it is so different from my world. Perhaps I'm being too harsh and I apologize to him if he's not just trying to jerk us around (no pun intended).

 

>...I certainly wish there was one around last week when I was home!

 

Now there is a statement to which I can also relate! Been there and experienced that.

[Flower]

>I would be interested in hearing from escorts and members on

>weather or not it's a good idea to introduce your steady

>escort to your family.

>

>I've been seeing the same escort for about a year and have

>taken a few extended trips with him... My sister has invited

>me and a guest to join her on a vacation and I would like to

>invite him. However, once before I had invited this escort

>to a family gathering and he said he "wasn't ready to meet

>the parents". When I suggested a trip with my sister, he

>avoided answering.

>

>My sister is kewl with my life style and has met another

>escort of mine. She treated him like family and gave us our

>privacy when we wanted it. I don't see this as being a

>problem, but I'm looking at it from my point of view and not

>his. What issues might he be dealing with in making a

>decision and, if he says again "I'm not ready..." should I

>just drop it or make more of it?

 

Just drop it Coups--not cool IMHO, don't even ask again!

 

There is a reason that he is not answering. You don't strike me as the kinda guy to go associate with dummies and you didn't mention he was hard of hearing, so WHY PRESS IT?

 

I mean think back to when you have asked him for a more traditional client/escort date--I doubt the cat had his tongue then. You may have put him in an embarrassing situation, since it appears that he wants to maintain the business relationship with you and even the friendship, but doesn't want the deeper implication and baggage that "meeting the family" carries with it--he may be worried as to what happens if he says "no." He may also be worried as to "what next" if he says yes, and if he is your friend, but only wants a business relationship, he may be sensing you are going well beyond those boundaries, and could be feeling very apprehensive and uncomfortable. And I don't blame him one bit.

 

You also call him your "steady escort" whatever that means. I assume that you and he have not made a mutually exclusive arrangement, and while you may not hire other escorts I imagine he has other clients -- right?

 

I think that if you really like this guy and respect him enough to meet your family, then you should also respect his obvious avoidance of the question and failure to answer AS HIS ANSWER and just drop it rather than put him on the spot further.

 

Most escorts are not in business to find a BF and most that I have become friends with have one anyway which is fine by me, since I don't hire escorts with the intent of anything more than a financial arrangement. I have made a couple of very close friends in the process, however, but that was not the original intent nor should it be used as such, IMO, anyway.

 

BTW, you didn't make it clear in your post whether you would be introducing him as a paid companion or a BF or what. You said your sister has met another escort "of yours" but as an escort or as a friend? Only curious, as my comments would still stay the same.

 

Flower :*

[Guest dstud4hire]

>

>Not me. I think it would be kind of hot to have his friends

>or family know I'm his whore. I really don't care what

>anyone thinks about me...despite my self-deprecating jokes,

>I know I'm not really trash, and I treat everyone with

>respect. If they look down upon me, that's not my problem.

>

>Also...when I'm travelling with a client, I think it's kind

>of obvious what the situation might be...especially if

>there's a big age difference. It's fine with me!

 

well, I do somewhat see your point on that one....I did have a client take me out on the town in another state, and I thought it was kinda obvious what our rapport was, and I caught glances from a few guys, and it did turn me on, cause he got off on the whole "you're my whore" thing....

 

I also saw some other guys out that looked like they might have been in that same relationship/business setting...I felt like raising my fist in brotherhood...or raising something..... belt felt subtlety was the better part of valour!

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>I don't know what your point was for responding to my post,

>but one thing you proved to me is that an escort can be just

>as CRUEL to a client as FFF has been to escorts.

 

Cruel to a client? There must have been several posts that never made it to my screen as I have read nothing I would consider as cruel.

 

>I posted looking for advice and have received nothing but

>criticism (except for Gabriel, who I personally thanked).

>This really is a nice message to send to patrons looking for

>help. WHO, in their right mind, would ever want to seek out

>advice for this board. Just look at the treatment I've

>received.

 

Cooper, Cooper, Cooper....... You're acting like a spoiled child. You asked for opinions. You got opionions. None of which were unkind or abusive. The problem as I see it is that they didn't give you the particular answer you had hoped for - that it is OK to introduce an escort to your family. If you truly don't want to hear opinions on both sides of the coin - don't ask!

 

Your reaction reminds me of a child whose parents are throwing a party for him and just because his friends don't want to play the same games as he wants to, he tells them all to go home so as he can go and sulk in his room.

 

And look at it from the escorts point of view. No matter how you try to put a spin on it by introducing him to your family as an "escort", he probably thinks that your family will see him as a paid whore, and does not feel comfortable being viewed as such, in a prolonged social situation.

 

The very fact that he did not answer your question at all, indicated what answer he really wants to give, which is - Thanks but no thanks!

 

Your reaction to the answers you have received somewhat amazes me as I had thought your previous posts showed more maturity than that. Perhaps you are standing too close to the painting to see all the nuances on this particular canvas.

 

Thunderbuns

[Guest Dan]

Cooper, IMHO, if you and the escort had gotten to the point of being actual boyfriends and no longer client and escort, by all means. In this situation, uh, no. It just doesn't sound good. Sorry.

 

I've been in positions where i've been a date for the night or weekend with a client's friends, but this is another kettle of fish altogether and it stinks!!!!

 

mazel tov!

 

Dan

http://gaydar.co.uk/dandarela

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

A well worn escort answers

 

I have met the parents of one of my clients. He was 45 and his mother and father (very charming people), and I all went to see the Lion King. I arranged for the tickets and picked out the dining establishment. My client is from the midwest, newly out. His mother and father live in the South Bay (Costa Mesa). My client is newly out and there is not as great an age difference (at the time, exactly ten years) that I was introduced as anything other than "his friend" which is a euphasmis that can encompass a great deal of possibilities. I believe, from the questions asked of me by his mother, that she assumed I was my client's prospective partner ("what do you do" - I am a consultant, "where are your people from" and so forth).

 

I have accompanied a far older client (74) to a benefit in Palm Springs, but by and large my client base is very near my age. Most often I am introduced as friends. This was a unique situation. I would think for a younger man, say one of my Twink friends, to be on a cruise with say his clients parent, would be difficult and particularly given that your escort has already expressed discomfort, I would hope you would respect how he may feel and take the tint, as others have suggested. I also agree that I believe, based on this post and your other posts, which I have chosed to regard as serious and legitimate inquiries, that you are getting more involved with your companions than perhaps is wise.

 

Best of luck to you.

[foxy]

Since we live in a time when people go on television and talk about the most intimate things in their lives, I think many people have decided this is not only ok but good and honest. You know, I rather miss those days when people were a little more private. I think one of the things that should be kept private is our relationships with escorts as regards our family. There is no way they are going to understand. Your steady escort is NOT your boyfriend. I think it's unfair to him and also your family. If you want to bring home a serious boyfriend and introduce him to the folks I think that's great. A paid companion? No! It's just not fair to anyone and I think socially unaccepatable. I think you really have to examine your reasons why you want to put a lot of people in an uncomfortable situation.

[Flower]

>There is no way they are going to understand.

>Your steady escort is NOT your boyfriend. I think it's

>unfair to him and also your family. If you want to bring

>home a serious boyfriend and introduce him to the folks I

>think that's great. A paid companion?

 

Am I missing something? Why does everyone assume he was going to introduce him as an Escort as opposed to a friend. If you read his post, he says:

" weather &l;sic&r; or not it's a good idea to introduce your steady escort to your family"

and

"My sister is kewl with my life style and has met another escort of mine."

 

Maybe he could clear up that point--to me it makes no difference in my opinion but many seem to have gone off on a tangent based on the escort in both situations being introduced as an escort rather than a "friend."

 

Still doesn't deal with the escort being unfairly put on the spot, but since so many have raised the issue of unfairness or awkwardness to family by introducing the escort as an escort, I hope he can clear it up.

 

Flower :*

[+ bigjoey]

i have introduced several escorts that i see regularly to my family but always with a cover story and never as an escort. for example, i've been seeing jon ramsey regularly for over seven years and introduced him as a personal trainer; one look at him and he can easily pass for that role and as several members of my family have personal trainers, it is not a strange cover. as i have written before, at one dinner he was seated next to the governor's wife and they had a grand time chatting away; jon's intelligence helps him fit into the role.

 

i introduced the first escort i ever hired, cory evans the porn star, as the son of a business associate who was passing through. everyone knew that i had a real estate investment in new york so the explaination was excepted. he made about 7 or 8 visits to my city and no one was the wiser. the cover story worked well as i had never had any male visitors on a regular basis so seeing him was not like "who are all of these strange men".

 

i tend to hire the same escorts for years on a regular basis for weekends so having a good cover story is necessary. most are close to my age and are in their 40's so they blend in well (it would be harder to do with a "twink"). they are intelligent men (i find intelligence sexy) who know how to handle themselves in public and are good communicators and outgoing. i am not out so i could not imagine introducing any as an escort.

[Cooper]

RE: INTRODUCTIONS

 

Flower: First off, let me tell you that the colors of your message, red and green, are giving me a very early holiday feeling.:-)

 

The question being raised on how I introduce my escort to my family/friends is a good one. I'm often seen in public with an escort and there is always a possibility of meeting someone I know. It's been my habit of introducing him this way: "this is my friend...". When I introduced an escort to my sister I did it the same way. There is no mention of him being a paid escort or that I met him through a service or at a strip bar...What people might think is a different story.

 

Since I started this thread, I've continued the discussion of going on this trip with my escort. He told me that the reason for hesitating had to do with his schedule. This cruise is for two weeks and he's just starting his last year of college. Since the trip will fall in the middle of his semester he was concerned about missing so much time. Also, he has a part time job (outside of escorting) and didn't think he could stay away that long.

 

As for meeting my sister, he suggested that we first have dinner together and get to know one another. Since we will all be in NYC in 2 weeks, I will make the arrangements.

 

As for escorts meeting family members, I'm finding out that this is not uncommon. I was with a Gaiety dancer last night who told me that he has met with a regular client's family and has always been introduced as a friend. He also told me he would have no problem going on this trip with me.

"Cooper"

[btmstudnyc]

RE: INTRODUCTIONS

 

Okay, some of the replies are outta touch....escorts aren't only for sex. For a lot of people...they are for COMPANIONSHIP.

 

After reading all these posts....I am kinda confused...only one person really touched on it...but here goes.

 

I was under the impression that if you hired an escort....thats what he was .....escorting you to wherever you wanted to go...the beach the prom the bed. Cooper...you pay me...and I'll be whoever you want whenever you want...as long as it fits my schedule. You can introduce me as your whore or as your friend or as your dentist...I will work on my acting a little bit for that one. But seriously everyone....If you want an escort.....that's what it truly is....someone who "Escorts" you.

 

 

Cooper..there is nothing wrong with your question...some people need to get a taste of reality...and sometimes REALITY BITES. Don't always assume things seem as the appear...this has been going on for thousands of years.

JIM

;-)