Valentines Day advice

[Mattess]

I hooked up with this one provider about a month ago and we have stayed and touch since then. We don’t talk to each other everyday, but we do every other day or at minimum once a week.   He lives overseas and I live here in US.  We had a really good connection.  He’s smart, funny, adventurous, and HOT.  He’s actually someone I would date. He asked to come visit me on Valentine’s Day.  Does this mean he really likes me? He’s not dating anyone? Or is he playing me? Or is he testing me to see if i already have something planned that day with someone else? Should I see him again on Valentines Day? Or should I keep my distance.  He told me he doesn’t plan on moving back to US for at least a few more years.  He’s really amazing.  Very rare find.  I just hope it’s not all an illusion.  Can’t trust anyone in this industry. It really sucks! 
 

I need a provider that will tell me the honest truth.  Or am I dreaming? 

[mike carey]

3 hours ago, Mattess said:

I hooked up with this one provider about a month ago and we have stayed and touch since then. We don’t talk to each other everyday, but we do every other day or at minimum once a week.   He lives overseas and I live here in US.  We had a really good connection.  He’s smart, funny, adventurous, and HOT.  He’s actually someone I would date. He asked to come visit me on Valentine’s Day.  Does this mean he really likes me? He’s not dating anyone? Or is he playing me? Or is he testing me to see if i already have something planned that day with someone else? Should I see him again on Valentines Day? Or should I keep my distance.  He told me he doesn’t plan on moving back to US for at least a few more years.  He’s really amazing.  Very rare find.  I just hope it’s not all an illusion.  Can’t trust anyone in this industry. It really sucks! 
 

I need a provider that will tell me the honest truth.  Or am I dreaming? 

Go into it with your eyes open. Assume that he wants to engage you in another appointment and plan on that basis. If that's ok, do it (if you're happy with that). You could ask him what the ground rules are. If he just wants to meet, whether that involves sex or not, that's sort of a bonus. Don't assume he just wants a meeting off the clock.

[Mattess]

He wants to stay with me for 4 days and nothing has beeen discussed.  I’m just wondering why me out of all his clients?  I’m certain he has very wealthy clients too.  

[KeepItReal]

9 minutes ago, Mattess said:

He wants to stay with me for 4 days and nothing has beeen discussed.  I’m just wondering why me out of all his clients?  I’m certain he has very wealthy clients too.  

I agree with @mike carey. Don't make too many assumptions or try to overthink. Ask him instead of assuming.  If he questions why you are asking so many questions - tell him you want to make sure he has a good time while visiting. Explain that if he does not communicate his desires (does he want you to show him some of the local sights) you can't prepare (some spots require reservations).  It is okay to ask if he would be okay staying at your place. Be tactful but direct. Maintain a positive vibe and make it work!  😉

[+ poolboy48220]

I sympathize.  I kept in touch with a guy I met at a Body Electric seminar in the early 2000's.  He suggested coming to Michigan to visit, I anguished over what the 'terms' of the visit were.  We'd been very intimate at the seminar (no surprise) but I wasn't sure if that would extend outside that.  If I set up the spare room for him would he assume I was NOT interested in him?  (I was)  If I assumed he'd sleep in my bed would be offended?

The visit never happened, but it's still something I'd have trouble with.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Before he leaves his country, you need to inject some direct reality into this situation.

Ask him, point-blank, if this is paid time or his vacation.  Ask if there will be intimacy involved.  Communicate everything you might be wondering as to avoid a potentially uncomfortable situation.

This is where 90% of problems start.  Avoid those issues now.

[+ nycman]

19 hours ago, Mattess said:

I need a provider that will tell me the honest truth.

Then you need to start by being honest with him and honest with yourself.

What are your hopes and dreams for this visit? What do you want it to be?
Then tell him that and then ask him what he wants it to be. It’s totally
understandable for you to be insecure and confused as to the nature of
his request to visit, but you’re already over thinking it. 

You won’t know until you ask.

Yes, the conversation may end in a train wreck. But if it does, don’t sweat it.
It was a wall you were headed for anyways and all the steering in the world 
wouldn’t have helped you avoid it. All you did was turn on the headlights before 
the crash. 

And maybe, just maybe, you’re both on the same page after all.
If so, that too will become very clear very quickly.