The shit has hit the fan

+ *Charlie* · January 8, 2009

It is with deep regret that I finally make a confession: I am "Rick Munroe."

Several years ago, Rick and Derek were on a vacation cruise down the Amazon with Hooboy, when they disappeared. They were last seen wandering into the jungle with a couple of cute young Jicaras who had promised to "show them something interesting." Hooboy panicked, because Rick had a big following on the website, which was still fairly new, and he was afraid the site would wither away without Rick's pulling power; at the time, he was desperately asking participants for financial support (I know, because I was one of his contributors, though I refuse to disclose my tax records), and he had to do something quickly. In a private meeting, he asked if I would take over Rick's persona. I objected that I couldn't pull that off, but he pointed out that our writing styles contained a similar quirk (overuse of parentheses) that would convince readers. Then I pointed out that Rick and Derek had real clients, but he said that he knew a couple of potential escorts from eastern Europe who were perfect body doubles (Rick and Derek never showed their faces in ads), and they were eager to take over an established brand name (like America West taking over US Air) without having to do any marketing on their own. So I agreed to become "Rick Munroe."

Naturally, Rick and Derek's old clients were somewhat surprised when they suddenly ceased being available, but the site brought plenty of new clients. Sometimes these new clients were suspicious that "Rick" didn't sound much like his MB persona (no one knows what Derek sounds like, so he did most of the talking during appointments), and those who asked too many embarrassing questions found themselves mysteriously discontinued from the site (Will did NOT retire to North Carolina--he discovered a new meaning for "rendition"). Then came Hooboy's own unexpected and much lamented death, and I was left alone with the terrible secret.

Time passed, memories faded, the new "Rick and Derek" learned to speak pretty good English. However, the diabolical Tom Isern (you've seen that photo on his website) suspected the truth, and decided to create Mickey Moosie (who says Tom has no sense of humor?) as a smokescreen to raise the question of multiple identities, in hopes of uncovering the real "Rick." At first I thought I could do a Blagojevich and just stonewall, but like Deep Throat, I am getting old and tired, and I didn't want to take my dark secret to the grave. XXX and XXX (I am not allowed to reveal their true identities) can survive on their own now with their client base, and I can stop spending so many hours online pretending to be Rick.

I suppose Daddy will demand the end of "Charlie." Of course, I may come back with a new identity from another computer, but next time I will have a full head of hair, an 8 inch dick, and a condo on St. Bart's.

jackhammer91406 · January 8, 2009

RE: The shit has hit the fan.

Now that's clever.

Well done Charlie, or whoever you are...

+ *Lucky* · January 8, 2009

Now I am the confused one. I have met Rick and Derek, and also Charlie. Somehow I now think Tom Isern is Charlie and I have been fooled all along into thinking Charlie was Charlie.