Setting up a meet or appointment

[xyz48B]

I don’t understand why it’s so hard to hire a guy. It shouldn’t be hard. We’re not playing matchmaker here. It’s almost as difficult as setting up a Grindr date with some of these guys. The ones who really see this as their job are infinitely easier to arrange with, but I sincerely believe A LOT of these providers are looking to get paid to do the Grindr thing.

Rentmen isn’t Grindr.

The selectiveness from some providers is almost akin a baker saying they won’t make a cake for certain types of clients. I totally get when it is clear that a potential client is likely not a potential client, but you can’t know if a client is serious in four texts between the two of you that total less than 50 words, sometimes less than 25…

I really am thankful for my regulars who are a dream to work with…

[Alex93108]

Generational thing - how old are the providers you are trying to hire ?

[Dallas Jayson]

9 hours ago, jetlow said:

Generational thing - how old are the providers you are trying to hire ?

What do you mean when you say it's a "generational thing"?

[xyz48B]

Anywhere between 25-35. I don’t think I’ve ever tried set up a meeting with a guy older than 35. 

I suspect I know where this is going. “Young people don’t know how to communicate.” I may be an exception, but I’m 33 and I’m the one bitching about the poor communication. I’m always told by the older crowd that I’m young, so if I’m young and want more responsive communication, it can’t be simply a (dys)function of age that these guys – and to be clear, it’s a subset – are piss-poor at communicating. It has to be more than that…

[Alex93108]

2 hours ago, xyz48B said:

Anywhere between 25-35. I don’t think I’ve ever tried set up a meeting with a guy older than 35. 

I suspect I know where this is going. “Young people don’t know how to communicate.” I may be an exception, but I’m 33 and I’m the one bitching about the poor communication. I’m always told by the older crowd that I’m young, so if I’m young and want more responsive communication, it can’t be simply a (dys)function of age that these guys – and to be clear, it’s a subset – are piss-poor at communicating. It has to be more than that…

wow . I wish i had the guts to hire when i was 33 - i would be a happier person . I only started to hire past 40

Having been though a bad appointment recently I think you should take poor communication as a sign that maybe you should consider a different provider 

Edited September 26, 2021 by jetlow

[sjmuktop]

4 hours ago, jetlow said:

wow . I wish i had the guts to hire when i was 33 - i would be a happier person . I only started to hire past 40

Having been though a bad appointment recently I think you should take poor communication as a sign that maybe you should consider a different provider 

Like @xyz48B, I am also 33-years-old and have been hiring gay male escorts since I was 18-years-old (I made a post about that). 

I like to hire guys aged between 18 - 35, with the majority being in the 21 - 29 age range. 

Some of them have been poor communicators, but almost always went through with meeting (only come across a couple or so flakes in 15 years of hiring).  

 

[rn901]

Someone exchanging their body, intimacy and emotional labor is not analogous to a baker. They have every right to be as selective as they please when it comes to such boundaries. If other clients are booking them and you are having trouble, then maybe the problem isn't them. Maybe the problem is... You're right, it shouldn't be a complicated process and for many it doesn't seem to be. 

[xyz48B]

11 hours ago, rn901 said:

Someone exchanging their body, intimacy and emotional labor is not analogous to a baker. They have every right to be as selective as they please when it comes to such boundaries. If other clients are booking them and you are having trouble, then maybe the problem isn't them. Maybe the problem is... You're right, it shouldn't be a complicated process and for many it doesn't seem to be. 

Maybe the problem is what? Complete your thought. Don’t let us all hanging…

You want an example of what I’m talking about? See below…Tell me. What/who’s the problem? Maybe I am in fact doing this all wrong.  

Edited September 27, 2021 by xyz48B

[xyz48B]

2 hours ago, sjmuktop said:

Like @xyz48B, I am also 33-years-old and have been hiring gay male escorts since I was 18-years-old (I made a post about that). 

I like to hire guys aged between 18 - 35, with the majority being in the 21 - 29 age range. 

Some of them have been poor communicators, but almost always went through with meeting (only come across a couple or so flakes in 15 years of hiring).  

 

My three regulars are good communicators. Maybe I should just be satisfied with them until the need arises to book someone new. 🤷🏼‍♂️ 

[xyz48B]

6 hours ago, jetlow said:

wow . I wish i had the guts to hire when i was 33 - i would be a happier person . I only started to hire past 40

Having been though a bad appointment recently I think you should take poor communication as a sign that maybe you should consider a different provider 

By necessity, no doubt. But also a lucky bullet dodged. The problem is it seems like an unnecessary waste of time to message provider only to exchange two or three content-bereft texts…

I’ve been hiring since I was 29. It was my early 30th birthday present to myself. 

Edited September 27, 2021 by xyz48B

[rn901]

Maybe the problem is you. The original topic posed was on providers being selective. You took issue with that and compared it to a baker denying someone service. Providers get to be as selective as anybody when it comes to their body, emotional labor and time. Just because they are a provider doesn't mean they give up their right to boundaries and you are entitled to them. The fact that you take issue with the concept of boundaries and the right to discretion, suggests that maybe one text exchange doesn't tell the whole story... 

Edited September 27, 2021 by rn901

[xyz48B]

1 minute ago, rn901 said:

Maybe the problem is you. The original topic posed was on providers being selective. In which case, they get to be as selective as anybody when it comes to their body, emotional labor and time. Just because they are a provider doesn't mean they give up their right to boundaries and you are entitled to them. 

Could you please point out in the exchange I posted, the sum total of exchange the provider had with me, where the problem was indicative? I’d appreciate being enlightened so I don’t keep making the same mistake. As I’m the problem, I’d like to do something to correct it if it’s something I’m able to address. Clearly I’m missing something. 

[Alex93108]

14 minutes ago, xyz48B said:

Maybe the problem is what? Complete your thought. Don’t let us all hanging…

You want an example of what I’m talking about? See below…Tell me. What/who’s the problem? Maybe I am in fact doing this all wrong.  

Personally I would not book a 3 night appointment with someone i never met before , must less a 3 night BFE. The longest i would have someone over is probably two nights at most 

[rn901]

In the screen shot you provide, the provider should've done better communicating. But I'm sorry, I thought the original topic at hand was whether providers get to be selective? You took issue with that and compared this line of work to selling bread and equating the two. If you have an issue with their right to discretion and boundaries, then the problem probably isn't one sided in all other instances now is it? The fact that their right to practice discretion is even be up for debate does say something about your mentality when hiring them. 

Edited September 27, 2021 by rn901

[+ keroscenefire]

I've noticed this too with some of the guys who've recently posted ads in Denver. I wonder if part of it is they are just inexperienced. I had a long  back and forth with one guy and we did end up meeting. But it just too forever to figure out the schedule. I think sometimes to they get distracted by so many messages and even lose track of who's texting. We ended up working it out though and it was a hot time

Sometimes it just takes patience and persistence. 

[xyz48B]

The escort doesn’t have enough info at this point in the conversation to be selective. Nothing of any substance was exchanged…It barely registers as a conservation. The provider couldn’t even provide a conversation…

I wouldn’t be and am no upset one iota about a provider determining a meetup won’t work after we’ve communicated some, but there is literally 7 words and one contraction from him. A few more from me, but really nothing whatsoever for him to be able to determine if I’m not a good client for him. If the 3-night booking was a problem (despite advertising weekends and travel as offering), the least he could have said was he was uncomfortable with the 3-night BFE out the gate…or ever.

I’m still waiting to hear something from this exchange that highlights me as a potential problematic client, where my fault lies. 

[xyz48B]

5 minutes ago, keroscenefire said:

I've noticed this too with some of the guys who've recently posted ads in Denver. I wonder if part of it is they are just inexperienced. I had a long  back and forth with one guy and we did end up meeting. But it just too forever to figure out the schedule. I think sometimes to they get distracted by so many messages and even lose track of who's texting. We ended up working it out though and it was a hot time

Sometimes it just takes patience and persistence. 

I hate coming across as pushy. I can appreciate being busy. Totally. It happens to us all. I still maintain there’s a difference between the guys who see this as their livelihood and those who see it as a side hustle.

[rn901]

I'm not speaking for that provider. I'm speaking on the original issue posed: that providers get to be selective. Something you seem to have issue with. That provider or any provider has every right to be selective, just as selective as any client or any person on grindr. This is not analogous to a baker selling bread. This is about how someone spends their time, body and emotional labor. Their boundaries shouldn't be up for debate. The fact that they are, does suggest problematic trends and a problematic mindset on your part. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news- but a provider gets to say "no" for whatever reason they see fit and regardless of the amount of words exchanged. Just because you are looking to pay them doesn't negate their right to boundaries as a person.  

Edited September 27, 2021 by rn901

[+ keroscenefire]

1 minute ago, xyz48B said:

I hate coming across as pushy. I can appreciate being busy. Totally. It happens to us all. I still maintain there’s a difference between the guys who see this as their livelihood and those who see it as a side hustle.

We have to remember that a lot of these guys when they are starting out do see it as a side hustle. They don't come out as Mike Gaite. Only when they start to get regular clients to some see the potential of escorting. And even then they still have their own goals and things going on. I don't think it necessarily comes across as pushy...so long as you aren't like texting them everyday. What I did with this recent escort is give space and try again. Ok he didn't text back today, let's try next weekend, maybe his schedule is more available. 

[xyz48B]

3 minutes ago, rn901 said:

I'm not speaking for that provider. I'm speaking on the original issue posed: that providers get to be selective. Something you seem to have issue with. That provider or any provider has every right to be selective, just as selective as any client or any person on grindr. This is not analogous to a baker selling bread. This is about how someone spends their time, body and emotional labor. Their boundaries shouldn't be up for debate. The fact that they are, does suggest problematic trends and a problematic mindset on your part. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. 

Let’s clear something up: I have no issue with either provider or client being selective. My issue is the inability to have a substantive conservation before any decisions are made. My original use of the word “selective” apparently was unfortunate. Hows this for an edit…To get to actual point/problem:

Second full paragraph:

I totally get when it is clear that a potential client is likely not a potential client. But how can you know if a client is serious in four texts between the two of you that total less than 50 words, sometimes less than 25…?

Hope that helps get us back on the track I intended to be on…If you say “sure” to answering some questions and then disappear, that’s not good form. No doubt it’s his prerogative, but it makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong, as it seems that you want say I’m doing. What is the indicator in the conversation shown that demonstrates I’m not a good potential client? 

[xyz48B]

12 minutes ago, keroscenefire said:

We have to remember that a lot of these guys when they are starting out do see it as a side hustle. They don't come out as Mike Gaite. Only when they start to get regular clients to some see the potential of escorting. And even then they still have their own goals and things going on. I don't think it necessarily comes across as pushy...so long as you aren't like texting them everyday. What I did with this recent escort is give space and try again. Ok he didn't text back today, let's try next weekend, maybe his schedule is more available. 

Good advice. I like to plan, so it does complicate things, but perhaps another time a week or two later will bear more conversational fruit. It’s perfectly fine if after a conversation I, he, or we together decide it’s a poor match, but it seems better form to actually engage in that work. If it’s worth it…

[rn901]

I've avoided clients if I immediately sensed something off about them in 50 words or less. And that is the right of every provider. I can't speak for the provider who refused to respond and meet with you. But I can almost guarantee that changing your mindset on the right to boundaries and their right to be as selective as they see fit, can only help in your future endeavors. Them getting paid does nothing to negate their right and ability to determine how they use their body. 

Edited September 27, 2021 by rn901

[Lazarus]

The problem is you contacted someone who doesn’t know anything at all about you & asked him for a 3 day BFE. Who in their right mind would commit to a 3 day BFE with someone they never met before, have  no idea what they look like or what type of personality they have? For all he knows you could be Jabba the Hut or Hannibal Lechter. Maybe the next time you should a try to arrange a 1 or 2 hour “BFE’ before you ask a complete stranger for a 3 day BFE weekend. 

[xyz48B]

7 minutes ago, rn901 said:

I've avoided clients if I immediately sensed something off about them in 50 words or less. And that is the right of every provider. I can't speak for the provider who refused to respond and meet with you. But I can almost guarantee that changing your mindset on the right to boundaries and their right to be as selective as they see fit, can only help in your future endeavors. Them getting paid does nothing to negate their right and ability to determine how they use their body. 

My issue is not selectiveness. You clearly haven’t read that in my responses to you. I’m done responding to you on this post on this matter unless you can move beyond the matter of selectiveness. That’s not my issue.

[rn901]

And I can assure you that poor communication exists on both ends of the transaction. If I got paid for every text of "hi" with nothing else said, I would've been able to retire years ago back in the days of rentboy.